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Blame It On The Spin The Bottle

The infamous drunken game of spin the bottle causes the New Directions and Blaine to come to a startling realisation about one Kurt Hummel. Spoilers leading up to and inluding 'Blame It On The Alcohol' in which this is set.


T - Words: 2,953 - Last Updated: Jun 24, 2012
2,125 0 8 9
Categories: General, Humor, Romance,
Characters: Artie Abrams, Blaine Anderson, Brittany Pierce, Finn Hudson, Kurt Hummel, Lauren Zizes, Mercedes Jones, Mike Chang, Noah Puckerman, Rachel Berry, Sam Evans, Santana Lopez, Tina Cohen-Chang,
Tags: friendship,

Author's Notes: This is my first Klaine fic so please be nice! I hope you enjoy, I couldn't get this idea out of my head thanks mainly to this (http://chris-colfers-ass.tumblr.com/post/25680708226) photoset and basically every time Chris Colfer wears skinny jeans ;D Rated PG-13 because there's nothing especially adult, let me know if it needs altering.

 

“SPIN THE BOTTLE!”

Kurt groaned, eyes closing at the slurred screech and the resounding cheer it resulted in. He had no desire whatsoever to watch his drunken friends slobber all over eachother while the others all watched on. However, he mused, he couldn’t wait to see their reactions when they sobered up and caught a glimpse of the photographic evidence. Thank God for social networking sites. Besides, he was hoping his turn might land on Blaine, or vice versa. Now wouldn’t that solve all his problems?

The group formed a somewhat messy circle and Rachel almost fell headfirst when she stumbled to the middle and placed the bottle and board on the floor, “Alrigh’ who’sss,” she hiccupped, “who’s gonna go firssst?” She shuffled backwards on her hands and knees until she was seated next between Sam and Kurt.

“I’ll go!” Brittany leaned forward, falling back before sitting upright, “I’ve made out with like, half of you anyway and I need a full house.” There were wolf whistles and laughter at that and Kurt could feel himself growing pink as he pushed away memories of his ‘Mellencamp’ phase.

All eyes were on the glass bottle as it span around, gradually getting slower and slower until it stopped completely, facing Sam. The blonde’s eyes widened and he huffed out a laugh amid the cheers from the group and Santana’s possessive warnings, before leaning over and kissing Brittany.

Kurt laughed as he heard Santana coming up behind him, leaning over him to break up the kiss between her boyfriend and best friend, “No me gusta!” She shrieked hauntingly.

Rachel was next, blabbering drunkenly to herself as she watched the bottle and Kurt let out a long-drawn “Ohhh!” when he saw who it landed on, because really? Rachel and Blaine? That’s hilarious. “This is outstanding!” he exclaimed as he turned to Blaine, who didn’t seem to be phased that Rachel was crawling her way over to him.

“Blaine Warbler, I am going to rock your WORLD.” The kiss was surprisingly unchaste and Kurt went from amused to jealous the longer it lasted.

“Okay!” He clapped, as though to break them out of it, “I think we’ve had enough of that!” The two slid back to their places and Kurt was glad to be the barrier between them once again; the kiss had unnerved him.

“Kurt, your turn!” Tina called over their friends combined drunken shouting, most probably trying to distract him from the kiss, knowing full well how far gone he was for Blaine.

“Alright,” he slapped his hands down on his thighs, feeling nervous. Unlike his friends he wasn’t actually drunk and so the thought of the game was pretty terrifying to him when his inhibitions weren’t lowered like the rest of them. He leaned forward and took hold of the bottle, flicking it smoothly. He kept a repeated mantra in his head, hoping that he didn’t land on any of the straight guys, especially Finn-because eww, blood related or not they were brothers-or Puck, because frankly he was afraid of being punched and even though the jock had moved on from the dumpster tossing and slushie facials and though he was at Dalton, he was sure making a move on the boy would result in some force of attack. Relief coursed through him and he grinned when the bottle stopped on Mercedes.

“Ahh!” Mercedes squealed, “Finally I get me some loving from my favourite boy!” Kurt laughed, thinking back to the days when Mercedes mistakenly had a crush on him, glad that they were able to joke about it now. “Well? What are you waiting for White Boy? Get over here!”

Kurt yelped a little, rising up onto all fours and leaning right over the game board to where Mercedes was half slumped against Lauren, still giggling to herself. He had to arch his back a little, leaning down so that he was almost in the ‘happy cat’ yoga pose, and just when he was about to press his lips to Mercedes’ he heard a low whistle.

“Damn Lady Lips!”

He squeaked, almost losing his balance as he whipped his head around to face Santana who had one eyebrow arched. The whole room was suddenly silent and Kurt felt uneasy as to why everyone was staring at him.

“Dude, your ass!” Kurt’s eyes bugged out as he turned his attention to Puck who was staring at his jean-clad rear in a way he usually reserved for pleated skirt-wearing Cheerios.

Kurt’s “what?!” came out even higher than usual before he realised he was essentially laid out for everyone to gawk at and moved to sit up in an attempt to preserve some kind of dignity.

“Oh hell to the no, you owe me a kiss, Boo,” he was yanked back up by Mercedes’ hand grasping hold of his black tie and before he knew it she was pressing her lips to him. He could vaguely taste the remainder of her cranberry lipgloss and the cocktail of drinks she’d consumed throughout the night as their lips moved against one another, no tongue because they were best friends and well, she was a girl. He pulled away, still a little shell shocked at her forceful tug on his leather Gucci tie, which increased tenfold when he felt a resounding smack against his ass. He felt the force of the slap right through his body and made to sit up again, only to be stopped by Mercedes’ continued grip on his tie.

“That is so hot,” Lauren drawled, staring at him laid out and held down by the leather around his neck. She plucked her glasses from Puck’s face and slid them onto her own, as though it would give her a better view.

“Dude, you look like a pornstar,” Puck offered, sitting back and pulling his hand away from where he had slapped Kurt. And there was that slightly disturbing reverence still on his face. Kurt sent him another wide-eyed look but the mowhawk-headed boy was seemingly unfazed-and unashamed of his confession when he claimed, “I would totally go gay for that ass.”

Lauren’s replied, “I would watch” was swallowed up as Kurt, still trying to process this, turned at the pain-filled squawk a sober Finn let out, “Dude! That’s my brother! And you’re like straight, really straight-“

“Dude chill,” and seriously, how many times did people have to say ‘Dude’ tonight? “I’m totally straight, but it doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate a good ass, I mean sex shark remember? I know when I see a good-“

“Okay can we stop?!” Kurt was maybe a little hysterical, but there he was, laid out like a sex slave or something, while his drunken friends leered at him, surrounding him from all angles and oh God Blaine was there and he was directly behind him and his ass, which was apparently the main focus of the party now, was directly in front of the man of his dreams, “Mercy, let me up!”

“Don’t you dare!” Santana warned, “We have him right where we want him, how have I never attempted to turn you, Kim Kardashian?”

“I have, like” hiccup “serious butt-envy right now” Rachel slurred, moving her gaze from Kurt to Blaine, who was unabashedly staring at his friend’s rear, “I could never compete with that!”

Blaine was still sort of staring, open mouthed, muttering under his breath something that sounded like “still gay, definitely still gay, oh my gay.”

Kurt didn’t even know what to say or do anymore and instead looked at Tina pleadingly as she seemed to be the sanest person there at that moment.

“Okay everyone hold up!” she started and Kurt exhaled with relief, “Yes, to those who had not previously noticed-and I don’t know how, ninety percent of the time Kurt is wearing so-tight-they-could-be-painted-on skinny jeans-Kurt has an amazing ass,” Mike made a hurt face at his girlfriend before looking back at Kurt and shrugging a little, which again, what?! “It’s kinda ‘cause he has really sh-shapely legs and h-hips,” for once her stutter was not forced, more alcohol-induced slurring as she went off track from her point before collecting herself, “Now, as Kurt’s friend, I say we stop obju-obje-tifik-izizzz-“ Oh no, no, Kurt was losing the rational girl to the happy-girl drunk that now had her head buried in Mike’s lap, screeching with laughter.

“Alright that’s it!” Kurt reached up, prying Mercedes’ fingers from his tie, for once not even caring about the slight crease in the leather. Once he was free he shot up, straightening his shirt and peering around at his friends, “I appreciate the…compliments about my…” he blushed deeply, unable to finish.

“Your hot as hell ASS!” Puck finished for him and really? Apparently alcohol made Puck slightly gay. Or maybe it just made him even more obsessed with sex.

“Thank you Noah” Kurt replied primly, “However, I would really appreciate it if you would all leave my ass alone and get back to the game.” He nodded once, carefully shuffling back until he was seated back between Rachel and a still dazed-looking Blaine. Kurt smirked a little; well he wouldn’t mind Blaine continuing his appreciation. “Finn,” Kurt started, looking at his brother who, honestly, looked like he was scarred for life, “Why don’t you go next, hmm?”

Finn looked equally relieved to be moving on and quickly leapt forward, nearly knocking Mercedes’ drink over in his haste to spin the bottle.

The game continued for a while longer and Kurt was relieved when Brittany crawled over to Tina when the bottle landed on her. It was the first same-sex combination the bottle had ‘chosen’ and soon everyone was focussed on the two girls kissing and seemed to have forgotten their fascination with him. Except Blaine. The Warbler kept shooting Kurt glances every now and then, biting his lip and peering at Kurt through his dark lashes. The other boy could feel his heart beating faster under the intense gaze, hoping against all hope that Blaine would remember how he felt in the morning and that this wasn’t all down to the copious amount of alcohol he had consumed earlier. At least he hadn’t been drinking for a good forty minutes or so as far as Kurt could tell, perhaps he was sobering up some.

“Blaaaine Waaarbler,” Rachel sing-songed, pointing to him and then at the bottle which was still pointing towards Artie. Unlike Blaine, she and the others had continued to drink, and it seemed the tiny brunette was hoping for a rematch of their previous kiss.

Blaine leaned forward slowly, his actions co-ordinated and precise, the complete opposite of his previous drunken stumbling. With a concentrated look on his face, he closed his fingers around the neck of the bottle and Kurt held his breath and the bottle started spinning. The group started a jerky Mexican Wave, following a beat behind the bottle’s path until it slowed. Kurt almost thought it was going to land back on Blaine and wouldn’t that be hilarious? But then it gave one last little lurch and there it sat, pointing directly at him. This was it. He’d waited for months for Blaine to make a move, show any indication that he wanted to kiss Kurt and nothing. And now a stupid, drunken game was his opportunity. He was going to kiss Blaine Anderson.

The jumble of cheers and cat-calls brought him out of his stupor and he turned to see Blaine smiling at him, eyes sparkling and face moving closer and closer until…

They were kissing. It wasn’t friendly like Mercedes and himself, drunken like Blaine and Rachel. It was perfect. He opened his mouth wider, moving his head to the left slightly to deepen the kiss, feeling Blaine’s hand smooth up his back and his own delve into Blaine’s now un-gelled curls. He could vaguely hear the shouts of his friends, the fangirling of Mercedes, Tina and Lauren, the “Get it, Hummel!” from Santana and the “Grab his ASS, Preppy Boy” that could only be Puck. He ignored them, feeling Blaine pulling him forwards until he was practically lying on top of the shorter boy, thighs falling open, bracketing Blaine’s knees, still kissing like they weren’t in the middle of a game of spin the bottle in the Berry’s basement.

“Aaand there it is again!” Lauren exclaimed loudly and Kurt groaned when he realised she was talking about his ass, which was once again facing the New Directions. The groan vibrated through his and Blaine’s joined lips and Blaine moaned in reply, clutching his shirt tightly in his fists and wow Kurt must be going crazy because once again he didn’t even care if his shirt was covered in creases, as long as he could carry on kissing Blaine forever.

“Okay seriously, I think that’s enough spin the bottle for tonight or like, forever,” Finn interrupted loudly, “Blaine put down my brother, everyone stop ogling Kurt’s ass!”

“Sing!” Rachel screeched, stumbling into a standing position and taking a huge gulp from her plastic cup simultaneously, “We shou-should sing! We’re all singing singers and we should ooh, we should have a sing off!”

“That’s a great idea, Rachel!” Finn also stood up and as Rachel tripped over to grab the microphones, he made his way over to the two boys who, although had stopped kissing, were staring at eachother unabashedly, mouths still mere inches away from one another. He ignored Santana’s “You ruin all my fun, Hudson, that shit was damn hot!” and proceeded to carefully grab Kurt’s bicep, pulling him up and off Blaine, “Alright why don’t we start with you two, keep your mouths…occupied” he muttered, pushing them towards the stage area.

“Alright!” Brittany wooped, “singing dolphins! That’s like my second favourite kind ever.”

Kurt, still a little flushed both from Blaine’s lips and Finn’s hurried shuffling of him to the microphone, shook off Brittany’s senseless revelation and turned to his new duet partner, who was selecting their song.

Their friends shouted suggestions.

“I Wanna Sex You Up!” Puck offered.

 “I Got You, Babe!” Mercedes countered.

“You’re The One That I Want!” Artie piped up and Kurt scrunched his nose up, remembering Rachel pouncing on Finn in their early Glee club rendition, oh how far they had all come…

“No! I have the perfect song! BABY GOT BACK!” Lauren all but screamed and almost everyone shouted their approval before launching into an accapella version of the song.

“I like big butts and I cannot lie, you other brothers can’t deny, when KURT walks in with an itty bitty waist and a round-“

“Oh my God STOP!” Kurt shrieked, he turned to Blaine, begging him to choose a song quickly.

“…that butt was stuffed, deep in the jeans he’s wearing, I’m hooked and I can’t stop staring…”

“Oh I got it!” Blaine jumped on the spot, reaching out to select the song before turning back to Kurt, smiling when the first few bars of the song played out.

“You think I’m pretty without any make-up on, you think I’m funny when I tell the punchline wrong, I know you get me, so I let my walls come down, down…”

Kurt gasped as Blaine started singing the song, the song that he had sung when Kurt had first seen this beautiful boy with his gelled down hair and warm eyes. Blaine lowered the microphone and Kurt took it as his queue to jump in, realising as he sang just how true to life the lyrics were, “Before you met me, I was alright but things were kinda heavy, you brought me to life now every February, you’ll be my Valentine, Valentine.”

The sang the next lines together and by the time they got to the chorus everyone was joining in, dancing around the basement, arms wrapped around eachother and Kurt was staring into Blaine’s eyes and he was staring back and Kurt couldn’t even remember the last time he’d felt so happy, “…My heart stops when you look at me, just one touch, now Baby I believe this is real, so take a chance and don’t ever look back, don’t ever look back!”

They continued to sing to eachother, hardly even noticing the rest of the party until it got to the first “skin-tight jeans” line, when they nearly all stormed the stage in an attempt to smack, squeeze and stroke Kurt’s ass and this time Kurt just let them, so blissfully happy that he barely noticed them at all. When the song ended he reached forward and amongst the cheers and whistles and Santana’s drunken sobbing about their future “perfect beautiful ass babies”, which, okay, she was spending far too much time with Brittany, Kurt pulled Blaine into his arms and kissed him again. He didn’t pause even when Rachel plucked the mike from his hand, launching into a surprisingly coherent rendition of ‘Fame’.

He did pull away, reluctantly, when Blaine gently tugged him onto the leather armchair he had been previously seated next to and they spent the rest of the party swapping kisses and smiles and watching their friends butcher their way through the Berry’s CD collection.

Kurt was so happy he didn’t even bother untag the dozens of shots of his fantastic ass that showed up on Facebook the next day, or delete the comments that his friends left on his wall that varied from subtle to downright suggestive. He also certainly did not change his desktop background to a photo Tina had snapped of him passed out on Blaine’s shoulder, the curly-haired boy peering down at him with a soft smile.

He really needed to thank Rachel for her excellent choice of party games.

 


Comments

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This was a great first story! I love how you wrote all the characters, you did an absolutely fantastic job :)

Thank you so much! That really means a lot :) And thank you for taking the time to review :)

Thank you! I wish it had ended like this too!! Ahh I know, he gets me every time in those skinny jeans ;DThank you so much for reading and reviewing! :D

that would have been a such better ending!!!!!!!!!!! i love it!!! and god... his ass!!!!!!!! :)

Yes, fabulous take on BIOTA :D Defenetly what should have happened!

So cute and just awesome! Loved it!