May 10, 2013, 2:11 p.m.
In Limine
Brittany and Kurt have an important conversation after Will and Emma's wedding. 4x22 reaction fic. Lots of death metaphors and magical metaphors in here, but no actual death. This is a quiet and reflective piece.
K - Words: 966 - Last Updated: May 10, 2013 877 0 1 3 Categories: General, Supernatural, Characters: Blaine Anderson, Brittany Pierce, Kurt Hummel, Tags: friendship,
Amidst the giddy chaos after Mr. Schue and Miss Pillsbury's wedding ceremony, Kurt felt someone take his hand. He thought it was Blaine at first, but immediately realized that it felt wrong—the fingers too slender and delicate, the palm cooler than the heat Blaine always radiated.
He turned and saw Brittany. She smiled and placed a finger to her lips, then pulled him gently toward the door. He walked with her out to the hallway, staying silent, wondering what she could possibly want.
They turned to the right and walked a few feet down the hallway, hand in hand, until there was little chance that they'd be overheard by the rest of the glee club. Then she turned to face him, still holding his hand.
"Thank you for coming to my funeral," Brittany said.
It was rather like a funeral, now that Kurt thought about it. Brittany had said goodbye to all of her friends. Well, everyone but Kurt, anyway. She'd been celebrating the times they'd shared together. Creating final memories. Very similar to a funeral. Brittany's odd statements always had a core of sense to them, if you could make your way through and find it.
"Of course," Kurt answered with a smile. "I wouldn't miss it for the world. Honestly, though ... I was more worried that it would be my father's funeral. Or pre-funeral. I didn't know you'd be leaving."
"Well, a life for a life," Brittany said.
"Wow," Kurt whispered. He'd had no idea what he was getting into when he'd followed Brittany out into the hallway. This was a lot more than he'd bargained for.
Brittany squeezed his hand. "You're part of my family, too, even though I didn't say so. I just didn't want to say your name in there because maybe you didn't want anyone else to see you. That's why you wouldn't look at Blaine, right?"
"I ... what?"
"Because you're, like, a ghost or an angel or something, since you died last year and went to heaven in New York."
Kurt laughed gently. "I'm not invisible, Brittany. And I'm pretty sure Blaine spent a lot of time looking at me this week."
"That doesn't mean he saw you, though," she said.
That one was a punch to the stomach. Blaine didn't really see, did he? He was caught up in some kind of fantasy, and Kurt's actual feelings were more or less irrelevant to him. This was too painful to think about. He continued walking down the hall, and Brittany, still holding his hand, strolled along beside him.
"Do you think MIT is also part of heaven?" Brittany asked. "Or is it something else, like Los Angeles and Chicago are? You ... you don't think it's hell, do you? The professors there seemed kind of ... scary. In the weird light, with all the numbers."
Kurt smiled. "For you, Britt, I think it's heaven. But that doesn't mean it's going to be easy. I've had struggles in New York. People who want to bring me down. Lots of hard work to do. It will probably be the same for you. You just have to keep on going."
Brittany nodded as they turned left around the corner and started down the next corridor. They walked in silence for a while before she spoke up again. "Dying is sadder than I thought. I always figured it was mostly sad for the people who are left behind. You all seemed so happy at graduation last year. But I feel just as sad as Sam looked." With her free hand, she wiped a tear out of her eye.
They turned another corner, again to the left, making a path around the perimeter of the building. "I think it's bittersweet," Kurt said. "You leave a lot of people behind, but you're starting a new adventure. It's more like a rebirth. And anyway, you can always come back to visit."
"But it won't be the same."
"No," Kurt said softly. "It will never be the same."
"It's okay to be different," Brittany said. "You taught me that. And if anyone says it's not, that's bullying and I won't tolerate it."
Kurt stopped walking and gave Brittany a hug. He didn't usually like touching people, and he hardly ever initiated hugs, but somehow it felt right. "You always know the exact right thing to say, Britt. How do you do that?"
She shrugged and waved her hand in the air. "You know ..." Her voice faded out.
They resumed their walking. "Yeah. I do know."
One final left turn. Halfway down this corridor and they'd be back at the choir room.
"Thank you for walking me to heaven, Kurt."
He smiled. "Anytime, Britt."
"Just one time, I think," she said. "I'm not a cat."
They could see into the choir room now. Blaine was looking around as if he'd lost something. Or someone.
"He'll die soon too, you know," Brittany said.
"What? Who?" Kurt suddenly feared for his father again. Brittany's intuition was sharp. Did she know something?
"Blaine, of course. And then he'll be in heaven with you."
"Oh," Kurt said, relieved. She didn't mean a literal death after all.
"You should let him see you."
"Why?"
"Because he needs you to walk him there. Just like you did for me." Brittany let go of his hand, spun around in a complete circle for no apparent reason, and then stepped back into the choir room.
Kurt followed her, cautiously.
A smile broke out on Blaine's face and he walked up. "Kurt..." he said, his voice trailing off.
Kurt held out his hand, and Blaine took it. The warmth of Blaine's hand radiated through him. Their fingers interlocked, just right. "I'm here," Kurt said. "We should talk."
Blaine nodded slowly. "We really should."
Comments
You presented a lovely reasoning for Brittany not speaking to Kurt during her good-bye speech to her friends that made my heart smile. Very sweetly done. Thanks.