Blaine and Kurt lay in shocked silence, staring at each other.

Blaine's face had the hopeful, ecstatic glow of a kid at Christmas.

Kurt's eyes were wide like saucers. He looked like he was about to be hit by a bus.

Kurt hadn't said anything in close to ten minutes, and Blaine was pretty sure he hadn't blinked or breathed either. He was beginning to worry.

'Don't say it,' Blaine thought. 'Don't ask him. He looks terrified. He might think it was a mistake. He might take it back.'

But Blaine had to know for sure. He couldn't leave, holding on with both hands to a post-coital confession he only partially heard. "You love me?"

Kurt heard Blaine’s question, his plea for verification, and his mind could come up with only one answer.

‘Say, no, Kurt.’

Kurt's mind buzzed like a hive of infuriated wasps gathering to save their queen...a queen who had dropped all of his defenses and just confessed his deepest secret.

'Say no, Kurt.'

Yes, it would shatter Blaine completely, but really, it was for the best.

'Say no, Kurt.'

This was the definition of hopeless. They had no future. If Shakespeare were alive, he'd be writing tragic plays about them.

'Say no, Kurt.'

Blaine - gorgeous, open, honest, adorable Blaine. Blaine, who had treated him like an ass when they first met, and then tracked him down to a seedy hotel to apologize. Blaine, who let Kurt dominate him, hurt him, and, in some ways, humiliate him, and always came back for more.

Blaine, who was looking at him now like just a few simple words from his lips would open the gates to heaven on Earth.

Kurt couldn't deny Blaine anything. He definitely wasn't going to deny Blaine the truth.

"Yes, Blaine," Kurt said, finally moving, speaking, and coming back to life. "Yes, Blaine. I love you. I do. With everything I have, I love you."

That was all that needed to be said. Kurt was back in Blaine's arms, and Blaine, too overwhelmed to think of anything else to say, began to cry. His arms and chest shook as he held on to Kurt, as if a single finger out of place would cause Kurt to dissolve into the ether.

"This...this is wonderful," Blaine stammered.

Kurt suddenly got angry with himself. Who the fuck was he right now? He should stay the course, be the person he always was - Kurt Hummel, Ice Queen. People hired him because he was stern and detached. He had worked so hard to convince himself that that persona was him, and that kept him safe. Now, he was in danger of losing everything.

"No." Kurt said, shaking his head. "No, it's horrible."

Blaine backed away, as if Kurt's words had burned him. "What are you talking about?"

"We have no future, Blaine." Kurt's stormy eyes brimmed with tears, which he hated. "There's nothing in the stars for us! Nothing! There is no way this is going to work out!"

"Kurt..." Blaine dared to touch him again, put his hands on his arms and steady him. "Maybe I'm being selfish, but this..." He pulled Kurt into his arms and held him. "This means everything to me."

Kurt let Blaine hold him, but he kept shaking his head from side to side.

"You should have never followed me to that hotel," Kurt lamented. "I should have never agreed to come here this week. Tomorrow you'll be gone, back to your old life, and I'll still be right here."

Blaine tried to soothe Kurt, whose tears would not stop. He massaged circles over his back, over that glorious tattoo that Blaine couldn't see, but whose presence he could feel in his fingers now that he knew it existed. He shushed Kurt, rocking him. As it often seemed when Blaine had Kurt in his arms, he started to babble.

"I need you, Kurt," Blaine whispered. "You have no idea how dreary my life was before you stepped into it, in your vintage McQueen suit." Blaine laughed a bit at the memory - not mockingly, but the kind of laugh that you can't help when you suddenly find the answer to a complicated riddle. "I don't think I was seeing the world properly until I met you. There was no color...no taste..."

Kurt's crying softened. He needed to hear what Blaine was trying to say.

"There's so much I could do with my life," Blaine continued. "But until a short time ago, when you walked into it, it just didn't seem to matter."

Kurt looked into Blaine's eyes, exposing himself further to see if Blaine was telling the truth. If Kurt really was that important to him.

"I wouldn't change being with you this week for anything." Blaine's voice was firm, unfaltering. "And I'm not willing to let you go. I asked you to let me work this out. Please, promise me you can do that."

Kurt shouldn’t. He knew he shouldn’t. He shouldn’t be setting himself up for this drastic of a fall. But somewhere in his heart, where he held on to a sliver of hope, not just for him and Blaine, but for something infinitely better as a whole, he gave himself permission to believe, and nodded slowly.

Relieved, Blaine rolled on to his back, pulling Kurt along with him. Kurt rested his head on Blaine's chest above his heart, so he could listen to it beat and remind himself that this incredible man was real.

They lay quietly, letting the symphony of the ocean waves outside lull them toward a needed, but troubled, sleep.

"Tell me something about yourself that I don't already know," Blaine asked, missing the sound of Kurt's voice already. He wanted to file it away so he could bring it out later, when he was back in L.A., and missing him too much to bear.

"I don't want to go to sleep," Kurt confessed.

"I already knew that," Blaine whispered with a sad smile.

"Tell me something about yourself I don't already know," Kurt returned, his eyes fluttering closed.

"I don't want to go home," Blaine answered with barely a thought.

Kurt chuckled. "I already knew that," he mimicked. Blaine felt Kurt's breathing even out, and ran an idle hand up and down his back. Blaine stared into the darkness, trying to record every last detail of this moment. Kurt, warm and sated, asleep against his chest, in a bedroom that, in another life, could be theirs. Their room. Their home. Their life together. In a lot of ways, it was too painful for Blaine to think about. The minutes ticked by, and Blaine finally joined Kurt in sleep.

In the early hours of the morning, before the sun lit the ocean waves, both men awoke with the exact same thought. Without much build up or prelude, a condom was produced, and Kurt settled in behind Blaine, moving steadily in and out, hands linked, fingers laced together, a litany of gasps and moans intertwined with the more than occasional I love you filling the air. There was no ocean, no beach, no L. A., and for a few hours, no responsibility. Just the two of them, together, with no other goal than to feel each other for as long as they had.

Sooner than they wanted, the sun started to rise, and Blaine, who had been on the precipice of an orgasm for more than an hour, finally came in Kurt's embrace, with Kurt not too far behind.

They stayed in each other’s arms until the last possible moment, which was when the phone calls started. It began with a text reminding Blaine of the table reading that afternoon. Then, an unintentionally callous phone call from Dave asking when Kurt might get home. Both men retreated in silence to the shower, where Blaine washed Kurt's back, taking special care to clean each and every letter of his tattoo, reveling in the fact that this beautiful sight was something that only Blaine had been invited to see.

Kurt pampered Blaine. He washed Blaine's hair with his own shampoo and scrubbed his body down with his body wash, hoping, in a way, to mark Blaine with his signature scent. Blaine knew this, and while Kurt lavished attention on his skin, Blaine became hard again. Kurt got on his knees for Blaine, but this time he started out slow - long, languid licks from the base and gentle sucks over the head. He took Blaine's entire length down his throat, sucking hard to hear Blaine moan; licking around the shaft to feel Blaine tremble. Blaine shuddered and bucked, smiling into the steamy air around him. He talked incessantly, not holding back a single word since he was free to tell Kurt everything he felt.

But he primarily stuck with I love you.

Kurt could feel Blaine's legs quiver, heard his broken moans go silent, and knew Blaine couldn't hold on much longer. Kurt didn't want this to be over, but he gave in. He pulled Blaine in as far as he could take him, holding him against his mouth with his hands on Blaine's ass, and swallowed around him. Blaine's hands grabbed at Kurt's hair, tugging sharply, but Kurt held on for the ride. He could hear Blaine trying to moan his name and failing. Blaine came with a final choked gasp, spilling down Kurt's throat.

Blaine closed his eyes, and captured as much of the feeling of Kurt's mouth on him as he could, until he softened and Kurt stood to kiss him, giving Blaine a taste of himself on his lips. What started as a tender, gentle kiss, turned desperate, with Blaine's hand fisting Kurt's cock, and Kurt muttering rapid obscenities into Blaine's mouth. As bliss overtook Kurt’s body, and he came over Blaine's fist, his phone timer went off, and just like that, paradise was lost.

Blaine and Kurt dressed in silence. Both men gathered up their things, checking and double checking that they had everything they came with, both recognizing that they were leaving something irreplaceable behind. At one point or another, each of them snuck something in with the other's belongings. When Kurt stepped into the bathroom to collect his toiletries, Blaine slipped his bottle of Motley Atlas cologne in Kurt's bag. When Blaine made a trip outside to enjoy his last cup of coffee with a view of the ocean, Kurt smuggled away his leather riding crop into Blaine's.

Before Kurt slipped on his shirt, Blaine shyly asked for a photo of Kurt's tattoo. He knew in the days ahead he would need some courage, and he wanted to borrow a little bit of Kurt's, if Kurt didn't mind. With a shy smile of his own, Kurt agreed. Blaine took the photo, and made it his wallpaper.

Their cars packed, the two men stood between both vehicles in the parking lot, trying to find any excuse not to leave. Blaine took Kurt's hands in his, running his thumbs over Kurt's skin while he tried to think up something meaningful to say before goodbye.

"Look, I know I can't really ask you to make a commitment to me, not with things the way they are" - Blaine swallowed hard, pausing for a moment to see if Kurt would interrupt - "but, please believe me when I tell you, I have no intention of being with anyone else. No one."

Kurt's breath hitched in his throat, his instinct to object, but he stopped himself to let Blaine finish.

"And I might be selfish," Blaine continued, "but it would kill me to think of you here, dominating someone else..." Blaine sighed, frustrated that he couldn't be as suave and smooth in real life as he managed to be on that God-forsaken show. So Blaine did the only thing he could think of, not knowing whether it would insult Kurt or not. He pulled out his checkbook, and wrote Kurt another check. Kurt's eyes went wide.

"I don't need you to buy me," Kurt said, a little offended.

"No," Blaine rushed to explain. "No, it's not that. I just realized that I told you I can't make you a commitment, and yet here I am asking you to make one - one that impacts your whole family." Blaine finished signing the check, tore it out, and held it out to Kurt. "Please, give me a month. One month to sort this out, and after that, you can go back to work if you need to." Kurt made no move to take the check. Blaine sighed. "I'm...I'm not buying you. I'm buying time."

Kurt looked at the check in Blaine's hand, and then at Blaine's face. Blaine looked disgusted with himself, torn and tortured…and lost. Kurt couldn't stand seeing Blaine so pained.

He reached out shaking fingers and took the check.

Blaine's eyes brightened, his whole body relaxed.

"Okay," Kurt agreed, not even reading the amount when he folded the check and put it in his pocket.

The atmosphere had become too heavy between them, and there was no way it was getting any lighter. They were standing a foot or so apart, knowing that they should go, but it was farther than they had been from each other all week, and Kurt couldn’t take the distance anymore, nor the weight of the inevitable. He took Blaine in his arms and kissed him madly - on the lips, on the face, on the backs of both hands. With trembling lips and tears in his eyes, he grabbed Blaine by the shoulders and bit him on the neck, hard enough that Blaine thought Kurt might draw blood. Blaine moaned, holding Kurt tight, egging him on, wanting a bruise from this gorgeous man so deep it would take weeks to heal.

Kurt broke away with a whimper, his face wet. He pushed himself out of Blaine’s arms. There was no other way to make himself leave. He climbed into the front seat of his car, gunned the engine, and peeled away without looking back. When he pulled on to the freeway with the ocean behind him, he started to scream.

Blaine stood, watching Kurt's angry little Suzuki Esteem screech its way out of the parking lot and on to the highway. There he stood, his hand hovering over the mark on his neck, feeling the sting as he gently touched it with his fingers. He suddenly felt abandoned. Part of him didn't know what to do.

His text alert chirped, because luckily for Blaine, there were people falling all over themselves to remind him.

From: Mia
See you in a couple of hours, gorgeous, and we can put this all behind us.

From: Blaine
Fuck you!

From: Mia
As soon as you get back ;)

Blaine opened his car door, threw his phone into the passenger seat, and slammed the door shut. It was the closest he could get to slamming a door in her face. He felt his cheeks turn red, fury building up to fill the hole in his chest that had started to form when Kurt drove away. He curled his hands into tight fists and pounded the roof of his car over and over, and with each strike, he thought of the things that conspired against him.

He didn't like his life.

He didn't like its direction.

He didn't like what awaited him at home.

He closed his eyes, digging his palms into his eyelids, taking a moment to enjoy the black of his own mind and the sound of the ocean. Kurt had left. He’d have to leave, too. He tried to find a way to compel himself to go, tried to come up with three good reasons why he should. Even though he was failing to convince himself that he could do this, go back to his life without Kurt, and that things would get better in time, he realized he couldn't stay where he was any longer. He climbed into his car and looked at his phone. The message that had prompted his fit had dissolved into his wallpaper - the amazing tattoo on Kurt's back.

Courage.

It's all he had of Kurt right now. It would have to do.

Kurt drove home five miles below the speed limit, not even flinching when other drivers leaned on their horns and passed him too close. He didn't care. Blaine was gone, and once again, the colors around him had gotten dimmer.

He got home, parked his car in the carport, and stepped out into the daylight. He could hear the uproar in the house from outside of the kids playing and yelling. Nothing out of the ordinary, but it was too much for him to handle, and he considered walking away - just around the block, or to the store…or to L. A. His heart had split in two. Part of it waited for him behind the door he stared at, inside the little metal house that had become his home, but another part was driving steadily away. He could feel a pull in both directions, but he couldn't tell which pull was stronger.

It didn’t matter. He only really had the one option.

Kurt stepped into the house and heard the mob head at him. The children were so happy to see him home earlier than expected. None of them knew, none of them could tell, but Dave could. One look in Kurt's eyes, and Dave saw his heart break.

Dave hated being right.

A tense moment settled in the air as the two men stared at one another.

Kurt walked straight for him. Dave wrapped Kurt in his arms and held him tight. Kurt squeezed his eyes shut, trying not to fall apart, letting this familiar man hold him together. The kids became worried, started asking questions one on top of each other. Dave instructed them to wait in the living room. He told them that Kurt was tired and needed a moment to defrag. He led Kurt to the bedroom and shut the door behind them. He sat with Kurt on their bed while Kurt buried his head in the pillows and cried so violently, the whole bed shook. Dave curled up behind him and held him, letting Kurt's cries run through him and split him apart.

Kurt tried to tell Dave what happened, but he choked on the words, not wanting to say them out loud because then they would definitely be true. All Dave could make out clearly was Blaine, gone, and love.

Kurt cried until he fell asleep. Dave took off his shoes and his jacket, and tucked him beneath the covers. Then he left him in their bedroom, closing the door behind him so the kids wouldn’t run in and bother him. Dave took a second, stood beside the closed door and let out a deep breath. That's when he noticed the silence. Four silent kids, especially one with autism, is never a good sign. Dave went into the living room, steeling himself for whatever he might see when he got there – what had been broken or who might need a Band-Aid. What he didn't expect to see was all four children sitting quietly on the sofa. They looked at Dave in unison when he walked in to the room, except for Elphaba, squirming in Junior's lap as she tried to pull off her socks.

Junior spoke first. "The hobbit man broke his heart, huh," he said astutely.

"Yeah," Dave whispered, running a hand through his hair. “Yeah, it looks like he did.”

"Cheesecake?" Barbra asked.

"Cheesecake," Dave agreed, motioning the kids toward the kitchen. He took Elphaba from Junior's lap and the three older kids headed to the cabinets to gather up supplies. "Actually, I think we'll make two," Dave decided. As the kids laid out the materials and Junior preheated the oven, Dave turned his face away and wiped a tear on his shoulder.

Blaine arrived to the table reading half an hour late. It didn't seem to matter. No one was getting any work done anyway. Blaine felt cheated. He saw Sebastian and Mia break out into twin grins at his arrival, and he wanted, more than anything, to bitch slap them both. The thought made him smile.

His black swan might be rubbing off on him a little.

Brad smiled condescendingly as he watched Blaine approach.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't Blaine Anderson," he announced. "Nice to see you out of bed, as it were." Blaine wondered if everyone knew where he was this week...and what he had been doing. Nice to know his sex life was such an intriguing topic of conversation. Brad looked Blaine up and down, almost lecherously. "Swimming with the leeches in San Diego?" he commented, motioning with his chin towards Blaine's neck.

Mia barreled over to him to take a look at the bruise on his neck, but his wrists, exposed by his rolled up shirt sleeves, caught her attention.

"Oh my God!" Mia eyed the marks on Blaine's wrists with distaste. "What the hell happened to you in San Diego? Were you kidnapped?"

Sebastian watched Blaine bite his lip, a subtle blush creeping up his neck and flooding his cheeks.

"What did that freak do to you?" Sebastian whispered. Blaine turned his head and glared, but Sebastian's eyes smoldered.

"I'll never tell." Blaine smirked.

"You could show me," Sebastian suggested, wrapping his fingers around Blaine's wrist. Blaine felt heat from Sebastian's breath on his neck. Months ago, having Sebastian so close, his eyes blown with lust, gaze flicking down to Blaine's lips, would have turned Blaine into a horny mess. He would have dragged Sebastian back to his trailer, bent him over the couch, and raked his nails down the man's back while he pounded into him mercilessly.

Now the suggestion in that silky voice made Blaine's blood curdle. The promise in Sebastian's eyes was empty – an invitation for another meaningless fuck - quick and hollow, making Blaine feel like more like a trophy than a lover.

Not like his beautiful angel.

Not like his fiery black swan.

Blaine pulled his wrist from Sebastian's grasp harder than he intended. He didn't want Sebastian touching those marks. As disgusting as they looked to everyone else, they were a reminder of Kurt, and to Blaine, that made them sacred. It broke his heart to think that in a week or so they would be gone. Thinking about it in those terms made Blaine’s heart hurt. It spread to his chest, and breathing became almost impossible.

Kurt. Blaine didn't know when he would see Kurt again...and it was not okay.

None of this was okay.

Blaine needed Kurt to make it okay.

Kurt woke up hours later, eyes burning, nose runny, and a cheesecake beside his head. Underneath the plate was a note with five fingerprints, each a different size, each decorated with arms, legs, and a smiley face. One for Dave and one for each of the kids. Kurt smiled, picking up the fork on the plate and digging in to his cheesecake as the light outside dimmed and the room became dark.

Kurt heard his phone chirp. He had to search underneath the blanket and in his pocket to find it.

From: Blaine
How are you, my love?

Kurt smiled sadly and sent a reply.

From: Kurt
Miserable. Kids and Dave made me cheesecake for dinner. What about you?

From: Blaine
The same, except without the cheesecake.

Blaine chuckled, imagining his angel, eyes shining and red-rimmed from crying, tucked under his covers, eating an entire cheesecake. Of course, the kids had helped make it, and Blaine wasn't too sure of their culinary skills, so he wondered if the cheesecake was crooked, or burnt, or maybe some odd shape. Blaine found himself laughing out loud at the image of four kids covered in cream cheese, trying so hard to cheer up Kurt.

From: Blaine
It's lonely here without you. Cold, too.

Kurt scrunched his face. He almost started crying again.

From: Kurt
I know. I'm in this house surrounded by people, and I feel so alone. I miss you so much, Blaine.

Blaine didn't like knowing that his angel was sad, but it felt nice to be missed.

From: Blaine
I'm sorry. Have you unpacked yet?

His question caught Kurt off-guard.

From: Kurt
Not yet. Why?

From: Blaine
Because if you do, you might think of me.

Kurt smiled from ear to ear, knowing that there must be some tiny stowaway stuffed into one of his bags.

From: Kurt
I can't wait.

From: Blaine
What are you going to do now?

From: Kurt
I think I'll just retire with my sketch book and design a new jacket. Maybe I can make it before I see you again...

Kurt had to stop himself from writing 'if I see you again'. Blaine had promised to find them a way, and Kurt had promised to wait, but it’s still how Kurt felt things would turn out in the end.

Blaine had remembered seeing Kurt, sitting on the patio at sunrise, bent over his sketchbook. Blaine never asked about it, and Kurt never offered to show him, but Blaine had assumed Kurt was sketching the ocean.

From: Blaine
So, what are you doing this week?

From: Kurt
Choir practice. On Tuesday and again on Friday. I should blow it off, but it gives me something to look forward to...and seeing if I can get more hours at the rec center.

Choir practice. Suddenly, Blaine had an idea. He pulled out his tablet and started searching. He continued his conversation with Kurt until Kurt had to go get the kids ready for bed. Blaine didn't let on what he was thinking, but the more Blaine worked out his genius plan, the giddier he got. This would work. This would definitely work.

And then Blaine would finally get to see everything there was to see of Kurt Hummel.