“What about these?” Jeff said, holding out a string of lights for Nick's approval. Nick looked up from the bed he had been considering to examine his boyfriend. Jeff wiggled his eyebrows, his grin wide and goofy. Nick raised an eyebrow.

“Chili pepper lights?” he asked, looking judgmentally at the gaudy curled red-plastic peppers strung on green wire that Jeff was playfully holding up to his neck. He twisted left and right, posing like he was modeling fashion jewelry. “Why in the world do we need chili pepper lights?”

“We don't, Nicky,” Jeff said. “That's not the point.”

“Okay…” Nick tilted his head, considering his boyfriend and his decorative preferences, “what is the point of chili pepper lights?”

“They don't need a point,” Jeff explained. “They're just for fun…and they're on clearance, Nicky. You know how much you love clearance.”

Jeff raised his eyebrows hopefully, biting his lower lip and pleading silently with wide, guileless eyes.

Any other time Nick would smile at Jeff's antics, but he didn't have it in him. He had chosen every piece of furniture for their new place – alone – except for a bed. They're apartment came with a refrigerator and a bed, but that was all, and the bed didn't feel right to him. Nick felt that since the bedroom was the heart of their small shoebox apartment (it was definitely the place where they spent most of their time), Jeff should help him pick it out, but as per usual Jeff was distracted by every little thing. Nick wanted to smile, but he couldn't, so he sighed instead.

“Jeff, baby, let's just stick to what's on the list for now,” Nick said, giving the list in his hand a shake to bring his boyfriend back to their task. Nick didn't mean to sound condescending, and he regretted it immediately when he saw the smile on Jeff's face drop, but they needed to finish shopping. Nick didn't want them to eat another meal sitting around an old milk crate, and he didn't want to sleep on a mattress that was two sizes too small.

“Okay,” Jeff said, returning the string of lights to the clearance bin. He stood beside Nick and peeked over his shoulder, perusing the list of furniture that Nick had painstakingly picked out for them. Nick's eyes shifted from the list to his boyfriend.

“Is there anything wrong?” Nick asked, trying to re-open a discussion he'd been hoping to have with Jeff since they moved into their new place.

“Wrong with what?” Jeff asked, still focused on the list in Nick's hands.

“With the furniture I picked out?”

Jeff looked at his boyfriend, making a confused face and laughing anxiously.

“No,” Jeff said, “not at all. It took you three days to put this list together. I'm sure it's perfect.”

“Really?” Nick's voice hovered somewhere between defensive and hurt.

“Yeah, Nicky,” Jeff said. “I trust you.”

Nick tapped his chin with the list, thinking, his eyes narrowing.

“But you don't have any opinion about a single thing we're buying?”

“Nope.”

“Even though you're paying for half?”

“I'll pay for all of it,” Jeff shrugged. “I don't care. Whatever you need, Nicky.”

Nick was confused and angry. It seemed strange for Jeff not to have an opinion. This was their apartment, their life together. Why didn't Jeff seem to care?

“But it's not what I need – it's what we need. Why don't you have an opinion, Jeff?” Nick pressed. “What if I decided to buy everything in chrome?”

“Can we do that?” Jeff asked, his eyes lighting up with memories of long nights spent driving around in his silver 300ZX with his boyfriend by his side – not something they did much of anymore since they moved from Ohio to New York City. Jeff never realized how much he would miss it. “Because I won't lie…that would be awesome!”

Nick looked back at Jeff in horror.

“No, Jeff,” Nick said evenly. “They don't give us that option.”

“Damn,” Jeff said with a frown.

Nick covered his face with the list in his hands.

“Jeff…” Nick said, trying to understand his boyfriend, trying to understand what it was that didn't matter. Nick was trying to make their small apartment into a home, into a place they would be proud to share, a place they could bring their friends and family to. Why wouldn't these things matter to Jeff? “I just want to know why you don't seem to care about any of this.”

“Because the furniture doesn't really matter to me,” Jeff said in that nonchalant way that sometimes infuriated Nick.

“Urgh!” Nick threw himself down on the display bed behind him in frustration, dropping backward and groaning. Jeff followed suit, plopping down and then lying back on the mattress so he could look his boyfriend in the eyes.

“Look, Nicky,” Jeff said, “I know what you're trying to do. You're trying to make everything nice and I appreciate it. I mean, look what I picked out. Chili pepper lights, right?”

Nick smiled, reaching across the mattress to take Jeff's hand.

“I mean, based on that alone I shouldn't be allowed to pick out furniture,” Jeff explained. “I want our apartment to look nice, but to be honest, I don't need nice furniture to make it a home for me. Shit, I don't need any furniture, Nicky. I just need you.”

“Really?” Nick asked, scooting across the mattress to get closer to his boyfriend.

“Really,” Jeff said, closing the distance between them.

Jeff rested his forehead against Nick's, looking deep into his boyfriend's eyes and planting a kiss on the tip of Nick's nose.

“I love you, Jeff,” Nick said, returning a chaste kiss to Jeff's lips.

“I love you, too, Nicky,” Jeff said, kissing Nick back, and again on the corner of his mouth.

Nick relaxed into Jeff's arms, not caring about the passersby who might object to two men making out on a bed in the middle of IKEA. He sighed into Jeff's embrace and pretended that they were the only two people in the world, and he realized that Jeff was right. It didn't matter what they had or where they were. As long as they were together, they were home.

“Nicky?” Jeff whispered.

“Yes, Jeff?”

“I really like this bed.” Jeff bounced on the mattress a couple of times. “Can we get this one?”

Nick opened his eyes wide and smiled.

“Of course, Jeff.” Nick nodded. “If this is the one you want.”

“It is.”

Jeff hugged Nick tighter and placed a kiss to the crown of his head.

“Nicky?”

“Yes, Jeff?”

“Can we…”

Nick chuckled.

“Yes, Jeff. We can get the lights.”

“Yes!” Jeff leapt off the bed and ran for the clearance bin, leaving Nick to add their new bed to the list.