When he sat down on the bed next to me I could feel every movement from my side of the bed. I lay as close as I could to my side of the bed, clenching the blanket in my fists right up to my chin. I used to do that to keep warm, now I’m doing it to stop myself from letting out embarrassing whimpers. He adjusted his body to lie down on his side, I could feel him staring at the back of my head. I could have turned around and started screaming at him right then, sobbing harder and harder with each untrue statement I could say. “I hate you so much for doing this to me.” “I hope you’re fucking happy now.” “How could you do this, after everythi-” Even in my mind I couldn’t complete thoughts because the ache in my heart just grew and grew. He let out a sigh, still adjusting his body to get closer to me. I was repulsed by him. Thinking of how he could’ve possibly lay with another man the way we do when we’re together. Yet that same repulsion made me want to turn over, look at him, grab his face in my hands and kiss him with everything I had. I loved him so much, I still do. In this moment, even knowing what he did to me, I know he loves me too. My mind was scattered. I felt the blanket rise a little and his arm came around to hold my arm.

“Kurt…” he whispered. I could hear him swallow a cry because he knew damn well that he had no right to. He did this, he was the one who hurt me. Feeling his hand on my arm, hearing his tired voice say my name… I couldn’t find words to respond. I just turned further into my nuzzled blanket in my hands and sobbed. He came closer to me, spooning my backside, holding me tightly.

“I am so sorry,” Blaine said with such desperation in his voice. “I love you so much.” Blaine cried through those last few words as his head fell into the back of Kurt’s neck. He could feel himself losing Kurt.

All Kurt could respond with was, “I know.” Blaine could feel Kurt cuddling with his blanket, edging closer to his own side of the bed. He turned back over, pulling his hand away from Kurt’s arm and hugged his pillow into his face, forcing closed eyes and suffocated thoughts. They were in the same bed, under the same blanket, and yet they’ve never been so far apart.