When a somewhat serious long term relationship begins, two people begin to mould together into the perfect mismatched shape. You unconsciously rearrange everything you do to fit everything they do, you fit yourselves together like a jigsaw, and pray to God it fits right. Even with a perfect fit, jigsaws always end up ruined; something that was exciting and new at childhood, but now it’s just something shoved in a box at the back of the closet.

Kurt and Blaine had been dating for just over a year. When they were in the ‘honeymoon phase’ of their relationship, everything seemed perfect, like it always does, right? But little things would arise after that, just little petty arguments between them every few weeks, but they were strong and they pushed through it, they’d always make up and it seemed to make them even stronger as a couple.

Their relationship wasn’t rushed, they relished in each other’s company, both of them completely hung up on how did I ever get a guy like him? They spent holidays snuggled up watching a movie, except Halloween where Kurt had insisted that they get up and outside, because you’re never too old for trick or treating, Blaine. Along with Christmas eve where Blaine had dragged Kurt up out of his fort of blankets to help him with the gingerbread house baking, and they had ended up sharing the biggest mug of cocoa either of them had ever seen, topped with whipped cream and marshmallows.

New Years Eve, they kissed sweetly at midnight, the silent pledge to start and end that year with each other, it’s funny how nothing’s ever said about in between, right?

Blaine was struggling at McKinley. Not because of the work, oh no, that was about 50 times easier than at Dalton, but he missed the Warblers. The New Directions were incredible, but the Warblers were his family. He started visiting more and more, and one week he showed up to deliver tickets for the McKinley High production of West Side Story he’d got lead in. He watched proudly as they waltzed around singing Uptown Girl, Nick confidently taking the place Blaine had left behind in his quick departure to be with Kurt. The song ended perfectly and Blaine talked excitedly and animatedly with them for a few minutes, never feeling more at home than back here. He glanced a few times at the taller new boy, everyone disbanded and it was just the two of them. He held his hand out to Blaine who shook it cautiously.

“Blaine Anderson.” The boy spoke certainly. “I’m Sebastian Smythe.”

“H-Hi.” Blaine stuttered. “Are you a freshman?”

He cocked his eyebrow, a sly smile tugging his lips. “Do I look like a freshman?”

They went for coffee, Sebastian claiming that he wanted Blaine’s insights into being a Warbler, into being lead of the Warblers. It was obvious that he wanted to take over from the position Nick had so recently claimed.

They exchanged conversation; Blaine found it difficult to figure him out. Sebastian was so upfront, so casual about himself and so sure, and he seemed to take a genuine interest in him. When Sebastian stood to leave, Blaine cautiously agreed to meet him for coffee another time, Warbler to Warbler.

This was the time when things started going...a bit wrong with him and Kurt. Things were stressed, Kurt was jealous and Blaine was just oblivious, it was making everything around them intensified. The heat of argument got stronger and it would sometimes be days before they’d speak again, they stopped riding to school together and neither would bother chasing if the other didn’t text back or call back or drop by.

Kurt watched from the door as Blaine sat down to coffee with Sebastian. It’d been 3 months since their gay bar night out, which had ended with another argument, but that was back when things were stronger, that was around their first time. Blaine laughed animatedly with Sebastian, something he hadn’t done with Kurt in what seemed like weeks. Sebastian caught Kurt’s eye and cocked his eyebrow at him, then turned back to Blaine. Blush rose to Blaine’s cheeks as Sebastian –cocky as ever- leant forward and kissed him softly. He licked his own lips as he pulled back, and Kurt watched as Blaine’s lips tugged up into a smile.

Kurt walked straight out the door, not turning to give Sebastian another moment of satisfaction, and climbed into his car. He refused to cry. If he was honest with himself, he knew that this moment would come. He knew how much he and Blaine were growing apart, how much Sebastian was clawing himself into Blaine’s life. He knew the lengths Sebastian would go to, just to get his hands on Blaine, as if he was some kind of prize he had to win.

Three weeks past, and Kurt’s life changed dramatically. Blaine broke things off with him, claiming that they were just too different now, when Kurt bought up the kiss with Sebastian, Blaine had cried, saying that he was sorry, but that it didn’t change anything. Surprisingly, Blaine didn’t go back to Dalton. Kurt figured that it was probably because it was mid way through the semester, and they were nearing the end of their junior year, he could transfer back for senior year in September if he wanted to, which he would.

Everyone told Kurt it’d get easier, that he’d get over Blaine. He didn’t believe them at first, of course he didn’t. Young and in love, who could really blame him? But then the realisation set in, he had to get over Blaine. Blaine wasn’t coming back he didn’t have another option. So Kurt indulged himself with his work. He worked harder and harder at fashion design, worked on his singing, worked on everything to get his mind off Blaine. He started baking more and more cakes, taking them to the nursing home where Coach Sylvester’s sister had stayed. His mind never strayed from Blaine, though. Days, weeks and months past, but nothing changed with him. He led the same life, he began to drift away from all of his friends, only forced to spend time with them in Glee club, but no one really bothered to talk to him anymore, not with the false minimal responses they got back in reply. The worst part was, Kurt didn’t even feel apologetic. He felt, broken. Not in the clich�d “He was a part of me” sense, either. It was so much more literal than that. Before he met Blaine, he was just this boy, this little boy who got bullied for being who he was, but he wasn’t strong enough to become a man from this. Blaine helped him find himself; he showed him how to have courage, and how to be stronger than he ever thought he could be. Having Blaine leave him was like rubbing sandpaper onto a wound. It was something he never expected to happen, never expected to leave him so raw and wounded.

Kurt continued on autopilot until Prom. He was already decided not to go, he didn’t even give it another thought really, he just didn’t have any plans to go. Until a week before, when Finn stumbled into his bedroom in a scruffy suit and lopsided tie. Kurt looked up and laughed at him, giving an extremely questioning look.

“Dude you gotta help me.” Finn sighed heavily.

“Come here.” Kurt sighed, standing up and reaching towards his tie to do it properly and straighten him up.

“So...” Finn rocked on his heels and Kurt swatted his arm to get him to stand still. “Going to prom?”

“No, -stand straight a second...anyway no I’m not.” He refastened Finn’s jacket and dropped down to sort out the hem on the bottom of his pants, tugging them out from where he’d tucked them into his socks.

“I think you should dude.” Finn said quietly.

“Did Rachel put you up to this? She’s been asking me for weeks to go to prom.” Kurt said, tugging the second sock away from his pants.

“I just-I think you should get out a bit. It’s been four months...”

“Finn.” Kurt said sternly, standing up.

“I know, I know. But, just think about it? Please?” Finn gave him a half smile and Kurt sighed heavily.

“Okay, fine. I’ll think about it.”

“Awesome.” He grinned. “Also thanks for...” he signalled to his outfit.

“You look great, don’t worry about it.” Kurt smiled half-heartedly and settled back onto his bed, watching as Finn stumbled out of the doorway, shutting the door without another word.

A week later, after hours of conversation with his dad and with Finn and Carole, Kurt showed up to the prom in a kilt tux he’d managed to throw together at the last minute. He walked in with Finn, Puck and Rachel. He scanned the room quickly as they headed over to the table occupied by Mercedes, Sam, Tina, Mike, Artie, Brittany, Santana, Lauren and Quinn. He settled down in the seat next to Quinn, her arms wrapping around him loosely.

“Are you okay?” She whispered. He turned to face her and hugged her back.

“I’m sorry, for the way I’ve been.” He whispered into her neck.

“No, no. I’ve been there, seriously don’t apologise. I just want to help.” She grinned as they pulled away from the hug.

All the rest of the New Directions seemed to all take the message that, maybe Kurt was back to himself. They all cuddled him one by one, Rachel taking up twice as long as everyone else to reassure him that she loves him and missed him and wants nothing more than to be his best friend again. He smiled at the gesture and met Puck’s fist with his own.

Finn whispered something into Puck’s ear, but no one else seemed to notice. Kurt did, and he stood up to look over where they were glaring.

Kurt felt his pulse beating in his throat as he saw Blaine and Sebastian dancing together. Sebastian had ducked his head to Blaine’s shoulder and Blaine was grinning into the open air around him, no one seemed bothered by them, but Mercedes noticed Kurt staring, noticed how pale he’d gone.

“Let’s dance!” She yelled, loud enough for all the New Directions to scream agreements and several people grabbed Kurt’s hands and dragged him towards the dance floor, forcing him in between Rachel and Brittany, who were both dancing to the beat of the music. Kurt let his eyes glance back over to where he saw Blaine with Sebastian, Blaine’s smile had faded a little, he didn’t look entirely comfortable...or was that just Kurt’s mind hoping? Sebastian span them around, locking eyes with Kurt but making it so that the back of Blaine’s head was facing him, no chance that he’d see him. Kurt wasn’t even trying to dance anymore, neither was Rachel, she was staring too, her hand clasped in Kurt’s waiting for the inevitable, Sebastian dropped his head a bit and leant forward to Blaine’s lips, as the kiss deepened he looked at Kurt, cocking his eyebrow and that was the moment that it hit Kurt that Sebastian was literally with Blaine just to get at Kurt. Just to get inside his head and it was working.

Kurt was silently hoping that Blaine would turn around, look into Kurt’s eyes and everything would change, but that was never going to happen. It was a pathetic wish in the back of Kurt’s mind, and it was something that he sort of didn’t want to happen...he didn’t want to have Blaine to look at him, and to see nothing in his eyes anymore. Even when they broke up, Kurt could still see that Blaine loved him. He didn’t want to taint the memory of the way Blaine would look at him, the way that one gaze would make him feel.

Kurt curled into his bedding that night, Prom had dragged on, he enjoyed watching everyone performing from Glee club, leaving to the bathroom when Blaine took to the stage. He could just about cope with watching Blaine sing, but there was no way he’d be able to live with watching Sebastian watching Blaine sing. He couldn’t watch as Blaine met Sebastian’s eyes, smiling suggestively and doing completely inappropriate dance moves with his mic stand. Kurt waited until he could hear Rachel singing a nice slow song before he left the bathroom, he moved over next to Sam and noticed him immediately staring at Mercedes.

“Go ask her to dance.” Kurt suggested softly.

“What?! What-I-I-she-I mean I” he spluttered.

“You like her, she likes you...just go.” Kurt nudged his shoulder, laughing and Sam slowly got up and walked over to Mercedes. He held out his hand to her.

“Mercedes...I think you look beautiful. Would you like to dance?” He asked shyly. She grinned and blushed, taking his hand and standing up to dance with him. Kurt smiled at her as they moved over to the dance floor and he took her in his arms.

The week following Prom was the first week of summer vacation. Kurt, Finn, Carole and Burt were all going to Florida to visit Carole’s parents, so Rachel had decided to tag along shopping with Kurt to make sure that he had all the clothes he needed, and also because she missed him. Things with him were starting to be back to the usual, and they were best friends, as much as she drove him insane most of the time.

They rounded the corner out of the shopping mall, and that’s when Kurt saw them.

Sebastian and Blaine sitting outside Starbucks, sipping coffee and looking at each other. Something in Blaine’s eyes didn’t fit right, at least not to Kurt. Even Sebastian looked a little bored, but Kurt didn’t think much of it. His heart was beating too hard in his ears for him to think anything, actually. It was so stupid, Blaine had such a hold over him and he hated it so much, but he couldn’t let him go. He began to breathe heavier, and oh God was he really about to have a panic attack in the middle of the street.

Rachel turned to him and grabbed his arm, after finally noticing what he had seen.

“Breathe, Kurt. Calm down, Kurt, breathe.” She hushed, rubbing his back softly. She dragged him back just inside of the mall and pushed his back against the wall, making sure that outside was out of sight.

“Rachel, I thought I was over this,” he sobbed. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” He felt his knees becoming weak, and he fell to the floor, body convulsing with sobs. Rachel cuddled herself around him, ignoring the people walking by, and whispered quietly into his ear.

Eventually, the sobs stopped and he mentally scolded himself for letting himself become so pathetic.

Rachel insisted on staying over, but Kurt told her it wasn’t necessary and he actually just wanted to sleep. She made him promise that he’d come to her house the following morning and spend the day with her watching musicals, and he agreed.

He settled down into his bed sheets and began flicking aimlessly through his phone pictures. He’d deleted all of the ones of him and Blaine, so it was mainly just Mercedes, Rachel and family photos on there. His phone began to buzz and Blaine’s picture flashed up on the screen. He’d never deleted his number. He swallowed thickly, tears gathering in his eyes already and he felt sick to his stomach, but he answered anyway.

“Hello?”

“Kurt.” Blaine sounded relieved, he let out a breath as he said the word, and tears began to fall down Kurt’s cheeks. It was too foreign, too unwelcome.

“Hi.”

“I just wanted to hear your voice.”

“...Okay.”

“I miss you.”

“Blaine.”

“I’m sorry.”

Kurt hung up.

His phone buzzed a few minutes later in his hands, his tears streaming down his cheeks, as if the wound he’s worked so hard to close up had just been torn back open again. He clicked on the new message from Blaine.

“I’m sorry. I just miss you. I needed to hear your voice. I’m sorry.”

Kurt didn’t reply, he turned over and sobbed violently into his pillow, everything coming over him too hard and too fast, he felt sick and he couldn’t get rid of the damn lump in his throat.

His phone buzzed again about 5 minutes later, his sobs were calming down a bit, and he clicked to view the message.

“He’s not you.”