Feb. 20, 2012, 11:54 a.m.
Blackbird, Fly
Blaine finds out that Karofsky's been expelled. He and his boyfriend, Kurt, talk about what comes next. Mostly romantic Blaine-musings on Kurt and their relationship.
K - Words: 2,235 - Last Updated: Feb 20, 2012 884 0 2 2 Categories: Angst, Humor, Romance, Characters: Blaine Anderson, Kurt Hummel, Rachel Berry, Tags: established relationship, hurt/comfort,
The ringing of Blaine's phone distracted him from the history homework he'd been attempting to do for the past twenty minutes.
Rachel Berry, followed by a little star - he still had no idea how Rachel had managed to add that - flashed on his screen. Behind it, a photo of her face: teeth white, eyes bright, smile wide. Rachel hadn't called him since that one time she asked him out. That hadn't really gone over too well with the whole questioning his sexuality thing and Kurt was so mad at him that whole week, but no matter - he was one hundred percent gay and sure of it. Odd that she'd be calling him now, so late in the evening, but honestly, Blaine would take Rachel Berry over Charlemagne any day.
"Hello?" he spoke in to the receiver, abandoning his desk and moving towards the bed. He paused in front the mirror and ran a hand over his hair, still gelled back from the day. His helmet as Kurt affectionately called it before trying to attack it with water and a comb.
"Hi Blaine, it's Rachel Berry."
"Hi Rachel, how are you?"
"Good, thanks." Rachel's voice was loud, breathy and excited in his ear. Blaine felt himself start to smile as her enthusiasm became infectious. "Now, I'm sure you've heard the news, and since I know how important Kurt is to you and vice versa, I've convinced the New Directions to let you in on the welcome back number we're doing and -"
"Whoa, whoa, Rachel, slow down," Blaine interrupted. "What are you talking about? What news?"
"Oh..." Rachel's voice was suddenly timid and hesitant. "He hasn't told you yet?"
A small chuckle rose out of Blaine's throat but he pushed it back. Perhaps, he thought, now was not the time to laugh at Rachel's tone. Obviously, he'd missed something big. "Who's told me what, Rachel?"
"Blaine, Karofsky's been expelled. Kurt... Kurt can come back."
The air left Blaine's lungs in a burst as his knees gave out and he collapsed on to the edge of his bed. "What?" He hated that his voice sounded so tight and shaky.
There was a pause before Rachel spoke again. "McKinely is safe for him now."
Blaine's head spun. Safe. Kurt can come back. Karofsky's been expelled.
"Blaine?" Rachel asked. "Are you still there?"
"Yes Rachel, look, can I call you back?"
"Of course. I'll find a tenor part for your voice in the background. You'll harmonize well with Finn as the two of us sing lead."
Blaine raised an eyebrow at her assuming nature before realizing that Rachel wasn't trying to be rude. "Um, thanks," he told her before they exchanged good-byes and he hung up, gently placing the phone on the bed next to him.
From the beginning, all Blaine wanted was for Kurt to be safe. He knew things were different now but the moment that Kurt had tapped him on the shoulder that November day, Blaine saw how vulnerable and fragile he really was. Kurt hid behind his Alexander McQueen and Marc Jacobs and put on a brave face, but the terror in his eyes was something that Blaine recognized from the ones in the mirror once upon a time.
As soon as Kurt told him that he'd never been kissed before Karofsky had assaulted him, Blaine knew that he shouldn't try anything with this beautiful but still damaged boy. He'd seen first hand how aggressive the bully could be and realized what Kurt saw his own sexuality as. The only real experiences that Kurt had about being gay involved lockers and slushies and dumpsters and kisses spawned by hate. Yeah, Blaine's past wasn't sunshine and marshmallows but at least he'd known what a relationship potentially could have been like before he was put into the hospital. On top of the hand that Kurt had been dealt, Blaine didn't want him to have to deal with whatever kind of baggage that Blaine carried. And so, a mentor he decided to be.
Obviously all that was now different. Kurt was strong now, and happy, he hoped. Still beautiful, but less scared, less tormented, more open. Blaine wanted to think he maybe had something to do with that. Not that it was a one-way street. Blaine, above most things, was drawn to the way Kurt seemed to unconditionally care about him, always taking the time to make sure that his boyfriend was okay, was eating healthy, wasn't dealing with issues on his own.
And sure, Dalton probably had a lot to do with Kurt coming into his own. The Warblers welcomed him like the Second Coming, his countertenor range a rarity not heard in the a capella group since the mid 1930's. And there were no bullies to taunt him here, no one to shove him into metal doors. They didn't even have slushy machines because they were so unhealthy and most of the students at Dalton really could afford better food than liquid sugar and red dye number five.
But anyone could see that Kurt didn't belong at Dalton. Not because people didn't want him here but because Kurt was too special, too unique, too outspoken for the strict and uniform walls of the private school. Blaine saw it everytime Kurt's arms instinctively raised in songs during practice or a teacher reprimanded him on altering his uniform and accessorizing. Sure, Kurt was safe here, but he wasn't living. He was settling.
McKinley, on the other hand, offered Kurt the chance to express himself not only through his wardrobe but every week in his Glee clubs. Kurt often talked about the New Directions and their weekly assignment and how Rachel and Finn usually always sung ballads and how he mostly sat in the back row and silently judged Rachel's latest animal sweater. But the moment Kurt had something to say, something to sing about what he felt, he had the floor in front of the piano to show who he was. The only time that kind of thing happened at Dalton was when Kurt sang Blackbird after the death of the Warbler canary Pavarotti. And while Blaine is eternally grateful for that moment, he realized it was because he was looking at Kurt Hummel, out of uniform and showing emotion through the medium he knows best, not Kurt Hummel, just another Dalton boy. Oh, there you are, he had thought, underneath the red piping and the guarded feature. There's the real Kurt Hummel.
But now, McKinley was safe too. Now, Dalton wasn't the only choice. And Kurt could leave.
He picked up his phone and opened a new message to Kurt. Hey, where are you? Can I come see you?
The reply was instant. Senior Commons. Please save me from Napoleon, he is kicking my butt with his short, short legs.
Blaine grinned. I don't think I can do that - hobbit solidarity and all.
I'll make it worth your while.
Outright laughing, Blaine grabbed his blazer and left his room. He made his way to the Senior Commons room, where a few months ago, he and Kurt had sung a Christmas duet. He was right - Kurt was much better than the girl he had sung it with.
It wasn't hard to spot Kurt in the room, surrounded with piles of looseleaf paper and two textbooks open in front of him. Kurt looked up at him and smiled and it took Blaine's breath away. Kurt's real smile was one not often seen and sometimes Blaine made it his mission to pull one out of him. Now that they were together, however, it seemed to come out more on its own. While Blaine loved seeing it, he couldn't help but realize how sad Kurt had been before.
"Hey," Blaine said as he moved to sit down.
Kurt's hand shot out to stop him and Blaine froze, half-sitting. "Wait. If these notes get mixed up, I will not remember to put his coup d'état before his Elsa exile."
Blaine stood very still as he watched Kurt meticulously gathered the sheets of paper, carefully stacking them. He smoothed the papers into a file folder and then tucked the package into his messenger bag. Only then did he nod for Blaine to sit who did so happily, dropping a kiss on his boyfriend's cheek. "How are you?" Blaine asked, resting a cheek on his hand.
"I can't decide if I think Napoleon was a hero or a menace. But otherwise, no moral dilemmas to speak of. And you? How's our favourite Merovingian king?"
"Doing something with Christianity," Blaine shrugged. "I don't know. I thought he was the founder of the Carolingians, though?
"Couldn't tell you," Kurt replied, laughing. "When I was learning about him, the ghost of Marley told me to stop studying and sing a Christmas song with him. Bet he regrets it now," Kurt teased.
"Never," Blaine insisted and Kurt smiled at him. The lulled into a silence, just grinning at each other before Blaine's face slowly fell as he remembered his original purpose for seeing Kurt. Kurt raised his eyebrows questioningly. Blaine sighed. "You didn't tell me Karofsky was expelled."
Kurt's features carefully rearranged his features into a blank stare. "You heard." Blaine nodded. "Who told you?"
"Rachel."
Kurt nodded. "Finn told me."
"Are you..." Suddenly Blaine didn't want to ask. He didn't know if wanting Kurt to stay was selfish or not, but Blaine had just found Kurt and he didn't want to give him up already.
He knew he'd still see the taller boy after school and on weekends, but the reality was that Westerville was two hours away from Lima and if Kurt went back, he'd be preparing for Nationals on top of school. They lived in the same building and still barely saw each other now. It would be so much harder if Kurt left.
Blaine tried again. "Are you leaving?"
Kurt shrugged, hand straying to adjust his bangs. "I've never really thought about going back. I just assumed that I'd never be able to."
"Do you want to?" Blaine asked, moving closer to Kurt.
Kurt exhaled loudly, his decision weighing on his shoulders. "I don't know, I mean, McKinley was my home for so long and aside from, you know, the whole football team, I loved it there. Glee was amazing and the coursework was much easier, not going to lie."
Blaine nodded, waiting for the rest of his argument.
"But here, at Dalton, I have guaranteed safety. And I love the Warblers and I actually like being challenged in class. And -" Kurt stopped, raising his eyes to meet Blaine's. His unspoken words, you're here, hung in the air. "What do you think?"
Blaine didn't say anything for a while. "Kurt," he finally began, resting a hand on top of the pale one in front of him. Blaine watched as his thumb rubbed over Kurt's knuckles, back and forth. "Kurt, you... You dream bigger than anyone at Dalton. Most of the guys here are here because their fathers and grandfathers went here. And they have their lives already set, and have to work in the family firm. Others are here because they're like me: scared of the real world and seeking sanctuary."
Blaine pressed both of his hands into Kurt's one, and stared into his eyes, willing him to believe. "But you, Kurt, you are so much stronger than the rest of us. You're confident and fearless and the only reason you came here was because your life was in danger. No one thinks less of you and right now, I'm sure people will think you were brave for going back.
"You have a chance to face the real world. You want New York right?" he waited for Kurt to nod before continuing. "McKinley can give you all of that. We're not going to Nationals. Dalton doesn't even put on yearly productions. There's not much here to offer you in terms of your applications to Julliard."
Kurt drew a shaky breath and removed his hand from Blaine's. "You want me to go?"
Blaine's first instinct was to say no, never. Instead, he settled for shaking his head and sort of nodding it at them same time. "I just don't... Want you to feel unnecessarily tied to Dalton. I know you miss McKinley and the New Directions. And I'm sure they miss you too."
Kurt's voice was barely audible but what he said still warmed Blaine's heart. "But I'd miss you too."
Blaine threw his arms around Kurt, pulling the other boy flush against his chest. "I'd miss you too," Blaine assured him. "So much."
Kurt's arms wrapped around Blaine's waist tentatively, tightening them when he felt Blaine press a kiss into his hair.
"If you do go," Blaine whispered, "I'll support you no matter what. I promise we'll be okay. I'll drive down for Friday night dinners and stay until Sunday. And maybe we can meet at the Lima Bean on Tuesdays."
Kurt shook his head underneath Blaine's chin. "Tuesdays are Glee practices."
That's when Blaine knew that Kurt was going to leave Dalton. Nothing was hypothetical anymore. He'd pack his bags and withdraw and would be gone within the week. His side of the room would be bare and Trent would live alone again. Blaine would no longer be able to look across the Warbler practice room and catch Kurt's eye as they giggled over Wes' unhealthy attachment to his gavel.
"Wednesdays, then?" Blaine asked.
"Wednesdays." Kurt pulled back, smiling softly. "Thank you."
As Kurt gently pressed his lips against Blaine's, he knew that there was nowhere he'd rather be than in Kurt's arms, held tightly and safely. Nowhere except for their little world together, somewhere only they know.