Kurt didnt know how they had fallen into it.  The first time they had had "real sex" (as Kurt called it once and then had to listen to a thirty minute lecture from Blaine about what constituted legitimate intimacy between men and blah, blah, blah) Kurt had topped.  There hadnt been a discussion; it just happened.  And in some ways, looking back, it seemed a little strange that Blaine had bottomed, given that he had pretty much been in the drivers seat during that phase of their relationship.  Not that topping was a sign of power among couples in a committed, loving relationship (hed heard about that from Blaine, too), but still. 

If Kurt thought about the why of it--which he rarely did--it was probably that Blaine had been worried about hurting Kurt that first time.  It might also have been something to do with the fact that teenage Blaine had had a lot of experience fingering himself at that point, while teenage Kurt had rarely even masturbated and didnt really think about sex until his hormones had kicked in with a vengeance, about six months into his relationship with Blaine.  Kurt was what you might call a late bloomer. 

Whatever it was, after their first time they had fallen into a pattern in which Kurt always topped and Blaine always bottomed, and that never changed.  Not when they broke up and werent sleeping with anyone (except each other, whenever they just couldnt help themselves anymore); not after they got back together.  In fact, the closest Kurt had ever come to bottoming was one embarrassing incident involving a con man dressed as Santa Claus who eventually robbed them.  But that was an episode of his life that Kurt really didnt want to think about ever again because it was just so humiliatingly bad. 

And Blaine had never had "real sex" with anyone but Kurt.  (Yes, Kurt was still going to think about it as "real sex"; he just wasnt going to say it out loud where Blaine could hear.)  He had gotten together once with Eli (Kurt couldnt even hear that name without his eyes rolling), but they had only gone so far as to suck each other off.  Still, it was a complete betrayal that had kept them apart for months, and maybe Blaine had a point about the "real sex" thing. 

But lately especially, Kurt had been thinking about what it would feel like to have Blaine inside him.  And it wasnt like Kurt didnt like being inside--gloriously inside--Blaine.  He really, really liked it.  Kurt wasnt planning to be versatile, per se, it was just that he thought it might be nice, just for once, to shake things up a bit. 

Also, sometimes he was tired, and it would be nice for Blaine to do all the work. 

But Kurt didnt know how to make it happen. 

If they had a different relationship, Kurt could just tell Blaine what he wanted.  He laughed wryly to himself when he thought about how his friends would react if he told them that Blaine and he were horrible about talking about sex.  After all, Kurt and Blaine had the good relationship.  It was weird.  They could talk about everything else--even really difficult things.  They could talk about money and feelings and even criticize each others clothing choices (well, Kurt could criticize Blaines).  And in some ways, it was good that they had a barrier to a frank discussion about sexual desire, because that barrier was erected from their tremendous love for each other.  And their respect.  But it still made it difficult. 

Because all of their talks about sex sort of went like this:

One:  Would you like to make love?

The other:  Of course.  If you want to make love, I want to make love. 

One:  But do you?

The other:  Dont you?

One:  Well, if you want to. 

The other:  Well, of course I want to if you want to. 

One:  But I dont want you to feel obligated, just because I want to.  Its okay if youre too tired.

The other:  Are you too tired?

And on and on it went.  And it never got better. 

Thats not to say that they didnt make love.  Or have sex.  Or fuck.  They did it all the time...as long as they didnt talk about it.  Blaine would get back from school and the kiss "hello" would turn into something dirtier which would end up in the bedroom.  Or sometimes in the middle of the night Blaine would take Kurts hand and put it on his cock, and Kurt could feel that Blaine had a raging hard-on.  Or sometimes they would come home from a club and Blaine would push Kurt up against the wall before Kurt could even get his coat off.  Or sometimes Kurt would just topple Blaine onto the couch and fall on top of him. 

They had a lot of sex.  They just didnt talk about it.

And if Kurt had been the one who always bottomed, he knew exactly how he could initiate a switch.  He would simply roll Blaine over and do it.  And he was pretty sure that Blaine would just go with it, because Blaine had always been pretty adventurous. 

But there wasnt any way he could think of to make Blaine top without having a discussion, and knowing how that discussion would go (What do you want to do?  I want to do what you want to do.)...argh.  So Kurt tried to see if he could manipulate Blaine into wanting to top. 

First, Kurt started walking around the apartment naked.  A lot.  And when Blaine was looking, Kurt took to dropping things.  That led, of course, to bending over to pick things up, giving Blaine an unobstructed view of Kurts ass.  And if Kurt sometimes spread his legs very wide before bending over, well...

Sometimes, after a shameless display, Blaine would reach out a hand and stroke Kurts bare ass, and sometimes Blaine would take Kurts hand and lead him to the bedroom, but never once did Blaine suggest that they switch.  Kurt gave up on the naked strategy when he found himself doing more and more inappropriate things while nude, and when he caught himself standing over a frying pan with some bacon, he decided he better go back to mostly dressing. 

Then Kurt decided that maybe if he pushed the boundaries in new ways, Blaine might get the idea.  Kurt had always been a little squeamish at the idea of rimming, but there was something a little irresistible about Blaines dusky asterisk, and he didnt think Blaine would object if he tried it just once. 

In retrospect, that was probably something they should have talked about, because Kurt had Blaine spread, face down, on the bed, and he was sucking one testicle gently, then the other.  Then he trailed his tongue up Blaines perineum, and Blaine let out a guttural moan and spread his toes, and that sight and that sound echoed all the way to the base of Kurts cock.  Then Kurt spread Blaines luscious cheeks and gingerly gave a swipe across Blaines clenching hole with his tongue, and Blaine shot straight up, smashing Kurts nose, and Kurt screamed, and Blaine apologized, but his nose hurt so badly, and that was the end of that.  Although Kurt mentally filed rimming under "things to revisit."

So Kurt gave up on his fantasy of being split open by Blaine, until one day he found himself in a bodega in line behind a harassed-looking mother and a cranky five-year-old.  The child reached for a candy bar, and his mother snapped, "Put it down!" 

"But, Mom," the child whined, still clutching the candy bar in a tight fist. 

"Its not a discussion, Blake.  Its an order," the mother had replied firmly, taking the candy from the child, and Kurt wondered why on earth he hadnt thought of that before. 

Later that night, when they were both naked and panting, and Blaine was reaching into the side table for the lube and condoms to hand to Kurt, Kurt said, "Come inside me."

"What?"  Blaine was so startled he dropped the lube, which rolled across the bed and lodged against Kurts naked thigh where he was sitting on his heels. 

"Come inside me," Kurt repeated with a firmness of tone that didnt reflect at all how much he was quaking on the inside. 

"Kurt, are you sure?"

"Blaine, either say ‘no or do it, but Im not going to discuss it with you."

Blaines eyes grew wide and his mouth fell open a little bit, and he didnt move at all for what seemed like an eternity to Kurt, and Kurt was just about to take it all back when Blaine said, "Lie down on your stomach," with a tone that was masterful and so full of lust that the blood rushed to Kurts cock, and he worried that it might be physically impossible for him to do what Blaine had just ordered. 

Blaine must have taken Kurt at his word, because Kurt was fully prepared for a lot of, "How are you doing?"  "Are you ready?"  "Is this okay?"  But Blaine didnt say any of that.  Instead, Blaine kissed the back of Kurts neck, and then he trailed his lips down Kurts spine, lower and lower.  When he got to the round curve of Kurts ass, he parted his cheeks gently and continued lower with his mouth until his lips were on Kurts entrance, where he began licking with the flat of his tongue. 

Kurt tensed at first from the unexpected sensation, then he began to relax and enjoy.  (And, yes, they were definitely going to revisit this the next time Kurt topped.)  Slowly Blaine began working his tongue into Kurt, little by little, gaining a little more entrance each time.  Kurt had done some reading in preparation for tonight, and he knew that he didnt want to come beforehand, so he restrained himself from rutting into the sheets or wrapping a fist around his cock, although everything in his body screamed for it. 

Then Blaine stopped and sat up, and Kurt was a little grateful, because he needed a small respite to calm himself down.  Then he heard the cap on the lube bottle snap, and as desperately as he tried to keep himself relaxed, he tensed up.  He couldnt help it.  Fortunately, Blaine noticed, and he rubbed two lube-slicked fingers around Kurts hole until Kurt could force himself to relax again. 

When Blaine slipped in a lubed finger--all the way, all at once--Kurt expected it to hurt or burn or feel weird, but it instantly felt amazing.  Oh, wow!  Kurt couldnt believe he hadnt taken advantage of Blaines amazingly long fingers earlier.  He hadnt thought his dick could get harder, but apparently it could.  He began rocking back on Blaines finger, and Blaine was now twisting a little, and saying, "Fuck, Kurt" in a low voice that was almost a moan.  Then Kurt realized that he, himself, was moaning, too. 

Then there was no finger, and Kurt whined, but Blaine rubbed a comforting hand on his back for a moment until Kurt heard the lube cap snap again, and then two fingers were pressing in.  This time Kurt did feel a stretch and a burn, but he quickly accommodated, and then it felt good again.  Blaine began scissoring and twisting, and when he crooked his fingers and unerringly hit Kurts prostate, Kurt nearly came off the bed, and Blaine chuckled a little.  He leaned over Kurts back and rumbled in his ear, "Feels amazing, doesnt it?"

It really did. 

By the time Blaine was using a third finger, Kurt was sweating and trembling and crying out in a shaky voice, "Blaine! Blaine!  You have to stop, or Im gonna..."

The fingers disappeared again, and Kurt heard the condom wrapper being ripped open and then, "Shit!" and out of the corner of his eyes, Kurt saw something fly past.  Then Blaine was reaching over him again and getting another condom.  Kurt hadnt wanted a discussion, but curiosity got the best of him, even in his aroused state.

"Whats going on?" he asked. 

Blaine gave a rueful laugh.  "I just realized that Ive never worn a condom before.  It turns out Im not very good at it." 

Kurt rolled over and took the condom from Blaines shaking hand.  "Allow me," he smiled softly into Blaines warm eyes.  Taking Blaines straining dick in his hand, he slid the condom on with practiced ease. 

"I love you," Blaine whispered. 

"I love you, too."

Kurt tried to roll back onto his stomach, but Blaine stopped him.  "Let me spoon you.  The angle will be better for your first time, and you can shift around if you need to." 

They had never done it this way, and how did Blaine know that it was better?  Suddenly Kurt felt a pang of guilt that he hadnt been better prepared the first time he had entered his amazing, beautiful boyfriend.  So, before rolling away, he grabbed Blaine up in a strong embrace and gave him a searing kiss.  "Im so lucky to have you," he said when their lips parted. 

Blaine smiled, "Me, too."

Then Blaine was turning him around and laying him down on his side, and he was holding Kurt from behind, his well-lubed dick pressed between Kurts cheeks.  With a hand, Blaine rubbed the sweat on Kurts skin into his side, soothing him. 

"Relax as much as you can.  This is going to hurt a little the first time.  Ill go really slowly, and you just tell me if you need me to stop, okay?"

Kurt nodded, taking a deep breath and forcing himself to relax again.  He wanted to do this, but he was so nervous. 

Again, Blaine sensed it--he truly was amazing--and he pulled Kurt into a warm embrace from behind and began kissing Kurts neck.  "It feels incredible, Kurt.  I love it when youre inside of me.  Youll see."

With those words and Blaines lips on his neck, Kurt really did begin to relax, and he felt Blaine line himself up, taking extra time to get the angle right.  Then he was pushing and Kurt wasnt sure if he could handle it, but then Blaine stopped, just his head inside.  Blaine didnt say anything, he just held Kurt and stroked his arms over his chest and kissed his shoulders and neck.  When their roles were reversed, Kurt typically asked Blaine a bunch of times if he was okay, but now Kurt realized that Blaine knew that Kurt was okay.  He was just giving him time. 

How much time?  Kurt wondered. 

But then suddenly his need for more was overwhelming, and he began to squirm, and it was that cue that Blaine seemed to be waiting for, because he began to rock into Kurt, little by little until he was completely inside, and Kurt let out a breath he didnt know he was holding.  Blaine had stopped moving again, and once again he was soothing Kurt with his hands and his lips, and Kurt took that time to let himself relax a little more and just feel. 

It felt weird. 

And amazing. 

Blaine was inside him.  Holy shit!

It was so much.  And then it wasnt enough, and Kurt groaned, "Fuck me, Blaine," and Blaine began to move, slow and shallow at first, and then long slow strokes, and then he was pounding into Kurt in earnest and Kurt came so fast that it was a little bit embarrassing, but it also felt incredible, and when he returned to earth with a few lingering shudders, he realized that Blaine wasnt moving any more, although he was clearly rock hard still inside Kurt. 

"Should I keep going?" Blaine asked. 

And Kurt almost asked, "Do you want to keep going?" but then he stopped himself and instead said, "God, Blaine.  Dont stop." 

And, yeah, Kurt was a little hypersensitive at this point, but he could concentrate a little better on just feeling Blaine inside him, feeling his pelvis and his balls smacking against Kurts ass, feeling Blaines chest hair scrape against his back.  It felt like he was feeling him for the first time. 

After a few more strokes, Blaine shouted, and Kurt felt him surging inside him, and, wow, did that feel interesting, and then Blaine was pulling out gently and kissing Kurt again, wet sloppy kisses on all the skin he could reach.  And if Blaine didnt quite manage to get the condom off and discarded without making a bit of a mess, well, he put in an honest effort for a first time. 

Blaine padded to the bathroom and returned shortly with a warm, wet rag, which he used to wipe up Kurts mess (and some of his own).  Then he collapsed beside Kurt and drew him to him. 

"So, what did you think?" Blaine asked. 

"It was amazing, honey.  Youre amazing."  And then Kurt thought some more about how this kind of talk was so hard for them, and he decided to be honest.  "To be truthful, it felt kind of weird.  Good weird, but weird.  I dont like it as much as being inside you."

Blaine laughed, "Yeah, it wasnt as good for me, either.  But I still liked it.  It helped me to...learn some things."

Kurt laughed and squeezed Blaine, "Yeah, me too.  Do you hate it when I keep asking you if youre okay?   You know, when Im in you." 

"No.  I like that you care, although, maybe you dont have to ask quite so much."

"Noted."

"Do you think youll ever want to do it again?"

Kurt couldnt resist teasing, "Have sex with you, Blaine?  Yeah, I think Ill probably want to do that at least one more time."

Blaine dug Kurt in the ribs playfully, "No, I mean, bottom."

Kurt rubbed his backside, which was kind of throbbing now.  "Yeah, but probably not for a long time, and not very often.  Not unless you plan on getting a smaller dick."

"Seriously, youre complaining about that?"

Kurt ran his hand down Blaines chest and looked down to where Blaines dick, still fairly engorged, was resting between them.  "No, honey.  Im not complaining at all."