The first time Blaine touches himself, it's awkward and disappointing.

Kurt's just dropped him off, and the both of them look thoroughly disheveled from an intense make out session in Kurt's car. Blaine doesn't want to leave Kurt, wants instead to crawl back into his lap and kiss him breathless, grind his hips until he feels the throbbing in his pussy lessen.

But instead he gives Kurt one last kiss goodbye and goes inside his house, leaning on the door, flushed and panting.

Blaine makes his way to his room quickly, tugging at his clothes along the way, and when he finally closes and locks his door, he yanks his shirt over his head, pushes his pants down and off.

He's never felt this amount of need for release, never really needed to get off before now.

Blaine has always shied away from the thought of masturbation; it's a scary thing for him to think about, especially since the only information he has on his anatomy is what he can find on the internet.

Even if his mother were in his life, he doubts she'd ever talk to him about sex, there's no way he'd go to his father, and he's not close enough with Cooper to even broach the subject.

So he's on his own.

And tonight, he decides, he's going to figure out what he likes, and he isgoingto orgasm.

-

Blaine's fingers are clumsy and awkward as they slowly move in and out of his pussy.

He sighs in frustration; he's not getting anything out of this and it's been over a half an hour, he's barely even wet anymore and the frantic throbbing he experienced before is pretty much nonexistent.

He pulls his fingers out with a huff, wiping his fingers on his sheets and gritting his teeth.

He just wants to get off like any normal person, why is this so goddamn hard?

Blaine rolls his eyes at himself, slips on his pajamas and throws his covers over himself.

-

The next time he tries is two months later, in the shower.

He doesn't know what prompts it, but when he leans his forehead on the tiled wall, he feels a warmth spread throughout him.

And then he imagines Kurt behind him, his hard, hot cock slipping in between his thighs, and Blaine gasps, rocks backward and blushes.

He tentatively brings to foot to rest on a nook in the corner of the tub, feeling exposed andvulnerable.

Blaine rests one hand on the wall, lets the other trail lightly down his chest until he reaches the soft, bare skin of his mound, his finger dipping in between the slit there. He presses down experimentally and his hips buck in surprise, a whimper escaping his lips.

And so he presses harder, lets a second finger join the first, rubbing in circles, his hips twitching forward uncontrollably, teeth biting down on his lip.

Blaine closes his eyes and imagines Kurt's fingers instead of his own, Kurt's hot breath against his neck, whispering for him tolet go, that's it my sweet boy, love your pussy, so wet for me aren't you, love?

And he rubs harder and faster on his clit, gasping and clenching around nothing, his pussy empty and wanting, Kurt's voice in his ear and the tip of Kurt's cock rubbing against his labia and Blaine finally lets go, heat spreading throughout his belly, hot liquid squirting out his pussy in spurts.

He blinks his eyes open, gasping for breath and slides down the wall until he's seated on the floor of the tub, lukewarm water raining down on his shaking body.

And he laughs, surprised and delighted and how fuckinggoodthat felt.

He can't wait to do it again, and so he brings his fingers back to his clit, sighing in pleasure, head tipping back against the wall.