They loved those moments. Those few minutes after the end of a movie, when they exited the theater, usually last, when nobody was around anymore, the cars, one by one, disappeared from the parking lot, so they could fall into a comfortable silence, and the film just lingered... The scenes were still vivid in their minds, but slowly fading away, only leaving behind a general feeling. There was no need to analyze the movie. Not yet. They would do that later. They always did. But this, these few minutes in silence were so precious. No need to talk, no need to explain, no need to break the spell just yet. That’s why they loved going to the movies together. Nobody else they knew felt this sacredness when it came to films.

But how could they not? Kurt and Blaine knew not to take for granted the complexity of cinematic art. They knew their other friends would go to the movies “to have fun”, or “to escape from everyday reality”, and sure, they did that too. But there was so much more to films than that. Even as children of the 21st century they knew they had to appreciate movies, because they combined music, performance and visual arts, and provided an experience that cannot be compared to anything else.

Well… that’s not entirely true, and this was a discussion Kurt and Blaine had at least once a month. Musical theatre was very similar in the sense, that it included everything they loved. Plus, it had something cinema could not give – live performance, with its unpredictability (Kurt would argue from time to time). Yes, yes, but movies can have a much wider range of colors when it comes to settings, camera angles and sound effects (as Blaine pointed out sometimes, and since even his heart was not made up about the issue, he would continue…) Okay, but could those advantages make up for the lack of immediate reaction from the audience’s part. Fair enough (Kurt often agreed), but even if you sit in the front row, you can never watch a handsome leading man’s beautiful face so closely as you can with premiere plan on the wide screen. And so they would continue to bicker and argue about the subject, one that never ceased to be fascinating for them, why theatre or cinema was better, or superior, why one suited them better than the other, why one was more exhilarating than the other. Most of the time they went back to arguments cited a million times before, but every now and again they would come up with new reasons, new angles and new stars to back up their side of the “fight”.

The passion they had for the subject was the passion of true performers. They thought of it as a personal matter, of course they did, after all the issue was still undecided. Both of them loved being on stage, but both also fostered a dream of working with creative movie directors in Hollywood, and telling a story that would be captured on film for eternity. Being talented enough (both being what some would call triple threats, good at dancing, singing, acting) Kurt and Blaine still felt they could pursuit either path. Their confidence didn’t make them cocky, or anything, they just knew themselves to be determined, hard-working and committed, and since both joined (separate) drama clubs at an early age, they had all the experience they needed. For theatre or for acting on film. They were in no hurry to decide…

Tonight, however, both Blaine and Kurt seemed to be on the opinion that there’s nothing more magnificent or majestic than a good film. The movie they just saw at the local cinema, Love and Other Drugs, was exactly what they needed. Something that is deep and light at the same time, with great jokes and teary scenes, and above all, grand performances on the actors’ part. Usually with such talented actors they’d switch onto “performer” mode later and analyze every gesture and movement of the eyes from an acting point of view, trying to absorb all the little techniques. Of course, they knew better than to jump into that right away. That would only break the spell. The spell that they learned to appreciate together. The spell of a movie, before it is deciphered, before it is analyzed, when it’s only giving you a vague, but nonetheless strong something.

It was actually one of the first things they learned about each other after becoming friends. This (others might say weird) habit of not talking after the end of a movie. One of the first things, yes. Along with others like.. they go to the same high-school, they live across the street from each other, and they both love the atmosphere of the local movie theatre. In this order.

Yes, Kurt Hummel and Blaine Anderson considered themselves extremely lucky to have found each other in a small town like Lima. After all, what are the odds in a small town like this to find someone who shares your passions AND lives so close. They had other friends at school, but it was a sort of silent agreement between them that there would be one activity they would do together exclusively. And that was going to the local cinema. It was only a twenty minute walk from their homes. �And that’s how they sort of started to get to know each other. Those special minutes right after the films were always spent with small talk, even after their very first time, on topics like music, holidays, family matters, food, clothes. It was only after 5 or 6 movies seen together that those small talks developed into deeper discussions, talks of art and future and hopes and dreams. And, naturally, their post-movie discussions were continued on afternoon study-sessions in their rooms, in the halls of school, via mail, or during family outings where the Hudmels and the Andersons went for a picnic or something of that sort.

And gradually the boys grew to know important and not so important details about each other, about the other’s life before high school, about how they dealt with their sexuality, their coming outs. How they were both lucky to have accepting families and supporting friends even before each other. They talked and walked, and walked and talked, and did not take their luck for granted. They realized how special their bond was, and knew that the way their communication seemed to go so smoothly all the time was something to be grateful for, and they exploited it to the extreme. There were no topics to remain untouched, or taboo, anything under the sun, whether it was something personal, or more public matter) was fascinating and interesting enough for the two of them to discuss. They did not agree on everything, of course not, but they had a way of being open to the other’s ideas, and accept whatever was to come out of their mouths. Without judgment.

So, tonight was one of their nights. Late afternoon movie, and a walk home. Only this time the silence they fell into exiting the cinema was extra comfortable. It was their spring break, junior year, they still had four days left of the break, and their families were out of town for vacation. The boys stayed in Lima to have time and a house to themselves (separately) to catch up on the enormous amount of papers, assignments and homework due the week after their break, but tonight Kurt and Blaine felt as carefree as a cloud. No curfew, no parents to nag them, no little sisters or big brothers waiting at home to annoy them, nothing in the world to disturb this sweet, pleasant and warm spring evening. Both were dressed casually, in jeans and t-shirts, nothing fancy.

“Soooo, what are you having for dinner tonight?” Kurt said, starting the conversation when he felt comfortable breaking the few minutes long silence, slowly letting the strong ending of the movie fade. He knew full well that even the most superficial opening line would get them to a deep talk in no time.

“Not sure. I feel like having fruits for dinner. You know, nothing heavy.” Blaine told him in what seemed a surprisingly apathetic tone for the usually enthused boy.

“Yeah. You and your health obsession.” Kurt teased.

No reaction.

“Sure you don’t want some of the mac&cheese left in my freezer?” He already knew the answer, he was just trying to map out Blaine’s post-movie attitude for the night.

“Um, no, it’s fine. Thanks though. ” He stopped for a moment. When he continued he reminded Kurt of a robot of some sorts. Speaking of one thing, thinking of another. But what he spoke of made Kurt frown. “I think I might start on history tonight.”

“Eew, B, why would you do that? Why would you bring that up right now?” The way Kurt used the nickname seemed to break the pensive mood Blaine was in, as if the term of endearment just made him realize how off his statement must have sounded.� Not that the use of such names would be anything special. For a long time now, a couple of years maybe, they felt comfortable calling each other by everything and anything that rolled off their tongues most freely. They knew those were “relationship petnames”, but they never cared. For them it worked. Who says two best friends can’t use endearments to express their closeness?

“I’m sorry, sweetie. I didn’t mean to put a cloud over us. Didn’t even think it through. What I was saying, I mean. Sorry. It’s just…” Blaine trailed off. Kurt waited. He knew not to interrupt. Blaine would tell him, if he needed to.

“It’s just…” He tried again. “I feel lonely.” He blurted simply, and raised his eyes to look in Kurt’s direction for the first time in long long minutes. “I’m so effin lonely, and I just can’t do anything about it. And you know how most of the times I’m soothed by watching a romcom. But at others I just get even more frustrated, ‘cause I feel like someone is rubbing in my face what I can’t have. What I crave…” Blaine stopped. He could have continued, but he needed some sort of reaction now. And, of course, Kurt sensed that.

But Kurt hesitated. What struck him was that Blaine didn’t sound sad, or depressed, or lost. He sounded sort of… determined, and full of thoughts. He didn’t know where to put that. So he answered as a best friend, reacting to the words rather than the tone, trying to console Blaine.

“I know you feel lonely, baby, I know you do.” Kurt kept his voice steady. “So do I. You know that.” And Blaine knew. This was another of their recurring topics. They had no idea where to meet new people, let alone interesting, young, gay people. Their high-school wasn’t really the place for that, nor their drama clubs.

“Yes, I know. But that’s just it! Knowing that I’m not alone should make this easier. But if anything, it makes it harder, because we talk of this stuff, and while talking about it we kind of figured out what we would want from our future boyfriends, and still, here you are, my amazing best friend, and I can’t witness your happiness, and you can’t witness mine. How is that fair? Sometimes I just wish I didn’t know so clear what I wanted…”

“What are you saying, B? That we shouldn’t talk about these things?” now Kurt wasn’t sure he liked the direction of the discussion. He couldn’t imagine having a no-no topic with Blaine.

“God no! Hun, you know I love that we speak about everything.” Blaine hurried to reassure Kurt. “That’s why I brought the whole thing up. I just… I dunno. I just…” There it was again. The trailing off. Now it was very clear that Blaine had something he wanted to get off his chest…

“Spit it out, B.” Kurt said, his curiosity and worry raising by the minute.

“I just think I have some kind of a solution.” There it was. So Blaine did have an idea all along…

Kurt raised his eyes, the two of them never stopping their slow and lazy walk home. Blaine’s� searching eyes caught Kurt’s, and Kurt couldn’t help but sense Blaine’s somewhat repressed excitement. He was curious, he really was, but he also knew he had no choice but ask the other boy to continue.

“Okay, B, I’m listening.” That was all Blaine waited for.

“Okay, soooo… You know how we usually end up analyzing facial expressions when there’s a good actor in a movie.”

“Yes, B, but please don’t start just yet, it hasn’t sunk in for me.”

“No, no, it’s not about tonight’s film, I promise.” Blaine seemed nervous and overly confident in his theory at the same time, if that’s possible. Kurt couldn’t imagine where this would go. “And not only facial expressions. But little hand gestures, and caresses, and looks, and how all of those can be so very expressive and communicative.” Blaine continued. They always said those two words, because using them made them feel like they actually filed those techniques away for acting classes later.

“Yes, of course.” Kurt could remember the hours they spent watching and re-watching the smallest movements of hands on their lap-tops with dozens of films.

“Now, what do these have in common?” Blaine asked excitedly? Kurt knew Blaine just wanted his participation, not a real answer, but he decided to play along.

“Um, I dunno, that all of them have something to do with the body…? Maybe…?”

“Yes, exactly. They are all physical things.” Blaine stated matter of factly. Kurt now sensed a professor-y vibe in Blaine and couldn’t help but smile softly, considering Blaine’s opening line five minutes ago… “Don’t you find it interesting that the parts we always analyze in movies are small physical details? Those parts are what we are most drawn to.” Blaine stopped for a moment.

“Yeah, I guess.” Kurt simply nodded. He wanted to hear more.

“I think I figured out why.” There was pride in Blaine’s voice. “I think that’s the only thing missing from our lives. Think about it. We have great friends we can have fun with, we have each other to have deep conversations with, we have loving and supporting families to take care of us, we can enjoy our passions for performance outside of school. We seem to have everything we might need to feel complete. Except for that one aspect. Physical touch.”

Blaine wrapped up his little speech, and looked expectantly at Kurt. But Kurt didn’t understand a thing. Sure, what Blaine said made sense, but how was realizing this a solution his loneliness? Or Blaine’s loneliness?

Wait a minute… No, no, he can’t mean… Kurt’s eyes widened in realization. And panic…

“No, no, no, no, no. Sweetie, you can’t be serious! Are you saying what I think you’re saying?” Kurt hoped for two conflicting things at once. He really hoped he misunderstood what Blaine implied. On the other hand, he really really hoped he didn’t because his reaction was a little strong were Blaine to demand an explanation for the rain of “no”s

“Just think about it.” Blaine smiled. Apparently he did think what Kurt thought he was thinking. “You trust me, I trust you. You know me, I know you. We are awesome at communicating verbally. There’s absolutely no point in this plan where it could go wrong.”

This was the point where Kurt stopped in his steps. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He knew Blaine to be enthusiastic, but he also knew him to be rational. His “immaculate” reasoning now was ludicrous. Was Blaine really so desperate? Or even horny? Kurt knew the feeling, but he also knew he was very lucky not to feel like that tonight. At least he would have his head on his neck. He knew his answer, even before Blaine posed an explicit question.

“No, baby, just no. If I understand correctly, you’re proposing a friends-with-benefits scenario.” He asked, careful not to sound judgmental, but still being assertive. He needed to get through to Blaine.

“Yes, that’s exactly what I’m proposing.” Blaine nodded. He really wished Kurt would be just as excited about this easy solution as he was. But it didn’t seem like it. The way Kurt stopped their walk and turned to him was extremely telling.

“And that’s exactly what I’m saying no to. You know I adore you, B, you’re my best friend, but sometimes you say the most ridiculous things…” Kurt searched Blaine’s eyes, whether he should continue, or Blaine understood from that much as well. Apparently he needed to go on.

“I think your judgment is somewhat clouded tonight, sweetie. I don’t know if it was the film, or you’re just extra lonely tonight” Kurt kept his voice steady and soothing, but never patronizing. “but your plan is anything but flawless. Apart from being the biggest clich� in history… and you know how I try to avoid those at all cost… I don’t think it could work. Ever. Not between us. Not with us caring so much for each other. Not with everything we know about each other.”

“I don’t get it, K. I think all that knowledge would be an advantage.”

“No, you don’t get it.” Kurt sighed. He knew Blaine knew this just as well as he did, but apparently he needed to spell it out for him. “Us doing anything like what you propose would be settling for something we don’t want to settle for. And you know this, B. We’ve talked so much about how we imagined our firsts, with our future boyfriends, how we craved romance, how it was worth the frustration and wait. I still think that, don’t you?” Kurt really didn’t know how he did it, but he managed to keep his voice calm, and smooth.

Blaine looked down at his shoes. Not with guilt, no, and not with hurt either. He just needed a second to think through what Kurt said. He was right, of course he was. And Blaine was getting carried away. He remembered those talks Kurt referred to. He had these dreamy scenes in his head, about a first date, a first kiss, a first boyfriend-parent meeting, his first time making love. And he wanted all of those to be special. Of course he did. And yes, what he proposed would have been an easy way out. But also would have gone against everything he imagined. Persuading your best friend to touch you, while you both know the other craves something different is anything but special. Plus, in case anything did go wrong, Blaine would never forgive himself for trading something as magnificent as his friendship with Kurt for something mediocre.

Blaine looked up. His smart eyes found Kurt’s, and he nodded.

And that was it.

Kurt was grateful for Blaine’s silent understanding, and was proud of him, for finding his way back to reason. And Blaine was grateful for Kurt for still not making him feel like a lunatic, or even worse, pathetic.

They continued their walk. They only made one fourth of the way home, but the evening was still pleasant and warm, and they were in no hurry. The next couple of minutes were spent in silence. And both of the boys’ faces lit up with a soft smile at the knowledge that even after a conversation like that the silence was genuinely comfortable.

And then Kurt had an epiphany.

He knew he should think it through, slow down and connect the dots in his head, because right now his mind was racing a hundred miles per hour, and no good could come of that, but he couldn’t slow down. Could think straight. He felt his idea was pure genius, and he didn’t have it in him to waste any more time in silence.

“Do you trust me?” He asked Blaine, stepping in front of the other boy, facing him, continuing his walk on the hard concrete backwards. There was a good two feet between them. His eyes were curious and searching, wide with excitement.

“What?” Blaine breathed. And Kurt smiled. Grinned, actually. Without knowing Blaine played his part perfectly, and made it so much easier for Kurt to make his point.

“Do you trust me?” Kurt repeated, extending his hand towards Blaine this time.

“Yes?” Blaine still didn’t get any of this, but the scene felt somewhat familiar, and Kurt’s face told him this was the right answer to give. He slowly slid his hand into Kurt’s.

They never been very touchy-feely with each other before, so this slight touch of skin actually came as a surprise for both of them. It was pleasant, warm and nerve-racking. Neither acknowledged though, being too intrigued by the unfolding scene.

“Then jump!” Kurt said finally with a small giggle, but did not move. His eyes never left Blaine’s, watching him expectantly to catch on. Their hands separated, and both boys stopped.

“K, is there any particular reason why you’re quoting Aladdin to me?”

“That’s it! That’s the exact reason! Your genius mind and quick wit. And your adoration for movies.”

“Care to elaborate?” Blaine began with his steps again, walking past Kurt, who was of course quick to follow.

Kurt wished, like really really wished that Blaine would be the voice of reason this time, just like Kurt was a few minutes ago. He had an idea, but knew that he was potentially just as carried away as Blaine was before. He wanted nothing more than to comfort Blaine, and take his mind off of his loneliness, even if just for the night. And his idea seemed perfect, but he couldn’t properly think it through whether it was dangerous or not. So he decided to go for it, and hope hope hope that Blaine would be grounded enough to shut him down if needed.

“I have a proposition, B. A game of some sorts. Actually your… idea prompted mine.” Kurt started to explain. “You know what your words reminded me of? My Best Friend’s Wedding. The movie, I mean. The whole if-we’re-not-married-by-twenty-eight-we’ll-settle-for-each-other thing.”

“Um, babe, that sounds great, but I really wasn’t thinking about marriage.”

“I know that, sweetheart, just hear me out. My mind kinda raced from that movie to the fact that we both loved that movie. Then to the fact that most films I like you like as well. Then to the fact that we have similar tastes, and similar passions. Then to the fact that we’re both performers.” Kurt stopped in his ramble.

“It’s great to know how your brilliant mind works, really” Blaine said sarcastically. “I just don’t see where this is going.”

“We could act, B. We could act out scenes from our favorite movies. Right here, right now. That’s the game I’m proposing.”

“Okay, I don’t mean to sound rude, but looking at your face a minute ago I thought you had something groundbreaking on your mind. Now I just think you’re making fun of me. How is this different than acting in drama club? And was this brilliant idea of yours make me feel better?” frustration started to seep into Blaine’ voice.

“It’s very different from that, B, can’t you see? It’s only you and me here, no-one else to judge, or intervene. We kinda share our knowledge in films. Sooo… you could choose whatever scene you wanted from whatever movie you wanted and I’d probably be able to play along.” Blaine started to get the picture, but wasn’t sure how he felt about it. He needed more information.

“Babe, I need to be blunt, ‘cause I don’t want any kind of misunderstanding. Are you suggesting that we act out romantic scenes? Here, the two us?”

“Yes. Kind of. I don’t know… Is this stupid?” Kurt’s mind slowed down to its normal pace now, and his insecurities kicked in. Was he speaking too soon? Maybe he shouldn’t have said anything. He just wanted to give some sort of distraction for Blaine on their way home. And maybe something to hold onto that night. He meant it as an innocent game, really. He didn’t want to think of the fact that maybe, possibly what Blaine talked about before hit home too much. He didn’t want to think of the fact that maybe, possibly he was just craving physical contact, and tricked himself to believe that the “game” would be innocent. No, he didn’t think about that.

“K,� I’m not judging you, or anything like that. You know that. I just don’t get it yet. Why is your game-plan better than what I proposed?”

“It’s just… It’d be totally different. First of all, this would be a game. Something with rules. And a framework.”

“We could have rules with the friends-with-benefits thing as well.” Blaine argued.

“Yeah, but the game would have a definite end-point. Like… I was thinking this would only be a one-time thing, just on our way home. We can slow down, by the way. In case we were to do it, I wanna have at least a little time.” Kurt slowed down with those words, and blushed furiously. He realized that he must have sounded too eager at this point. He wasn’t. Or not in that sense. He really just wanted to find a way to put a smile back onto his best friends beautiful face.

Blaine sensed Kurt’s determination, and was grateful. Yes. But he still wasn’t persuaded by Kurt’s reasoning, although his performer-heart leaped at the idea of the challenge. Yes, it was his performer-heart. So he slowed down in his steps on Kurt’s right.

“Baby, that’s still not a real reason.” Blaine said silently. “Don’t get me wrong, I like your idea. You know I’ll jump at any opportunity to act. I just don’t want us to do anything stupid. You were the one saying this would go wrong. And I know you’re right. Why is pretending to do it different?”

“Precisely because of that. B, can’t you put on your artist hat for a moment?” Kurt pleaded. This was going to be his final argument. He wouldn’t push anymore if Blaine didn’t agree. After all, that was the last thing he wanted. To force something on Blaine in the name of making him feel better . “If you were to agree to play this game, we wouldn’t be too horny teenagers wasting moments and firsts that should be special.” There it was, that mad blush again. “We would be two actors, staying in character, re-creating scenes and make those moments as special as possible within the realm of those scenes. They wouldn’t be wasted moments. We could never regret them, because we would choose to re-live fiction, not reality. We wouldn’t be settling for something mediocre. We could choose the most extraordinary scenes, and create the most special atmosphere. You see? It’d be like a compromise. We wouldn’t throw ourselves around, we would make these stuff count. Just not through our own eyes, but through the characters’ eyes.”

Kurt really hoped what he said made sense. They made a habit of understanding each other perfectly even if what was said was less than elaborate. And yes, his words seemed to work. Blaine looked at him with eyes full of trust and understanding, and a little bit of good-hearted mischief. His confusion gave room to the excitement of the game, and he was ready to learn more, and above all, ready to tap into performer mode.

There was one thing, however, neither of them dared to think about, or say out loud. Acting is a strange little thing. After all, how can you avoid putting yourself into a fictional character? How can you decide where you draw the line between your personality and that of the character portrayed by you? And even more interestingly… where do you draw a line between your own body, and your character’s body?

No, Kurt didn’t think about these tiny details when he blurted out his idea. And no, Blaine wasn’t questioning Kurt on this point. He focused on more practical details…

“Okay, so you said it’s a one time thing, correct?” Blaine asked, ready to lay some ground rules. “Starting now?”

“Yes, B. If you want to. We’re kind of halfway home. If we slow down, that gives us, what, 20 minutes, assuming we would stop for certain scenes…” Kurt felt really odd now. He was looking forward to the performance-part of the thing, but he also knew they needed the specifics. “B, I know we trust each other, but I have to say this. We can stop whenever you want. If it’s not fun, or if it’s uncomfortable.”

“I know we can, babe. But shouldn’t we first see if it’s fun at all?” Blaine said playfully. “So, what did you have in mind exactly?”

“Well, I thought we could take turns. You know. Or not. Whatever comes to our mind. We pick a scene from any movie we think the other would be familiar with. We don’t have to say the title or anything, we just come up with an opening line. I’m pretty sure we’ll guess right.” Kurt was confident in this part. That was their shared passion, after all.

“Okay.” Blaine nodded understandingly. “So you start a scene, or I start a scene, and we play out that particular scene.”

“Yes. And we stop, whenever we want. I mean during the scene.”

“Easy enough.” Blaine’s mind started to race. This would be so much fun. Yep, his performer-self took over, for sure.

“Yeah. But sweetie, this is important. Both of us have full veto, okay? We stop whenever.” Kurt emphasized the last word. He needed this safety net, and knew Blaine did as well. No obligations, no musts. Blaine sensed his seriousness, and looked up for a moment. He smiled, the smile reaching his clever eyes.

“Yes, of course.”

Their young, eager hearts soared in this comfortable, safe environment they created for each other. And neither allowed their creative spirits to be crushed by the unsaid truth, that this was potentially terrifying. Sure, the way they put it now it was all just a game. A game of acting. But have they already forgotten what prompted the game? Would this turn into one big experiment with each other’s bodies? Purely on an acting level, of course… Well, forgotten or not, pure rationale was pushed to the back of their minds, and excitement took over. Blaine and Kurt, two 17-year-old aspiring actors continued their walk home, at an excrutiatingly slow pace.

Kurt was the first with an idea.

He stopped, and the few seconds Blaine realized this gave Kurt the perfect position for the scene. Blaine turned around, they were now facing each other, a couple of feet apart. Kurt closed his eyes for a brief moment, he sometimes used this to gather concentration for tapping into a role. He opened his eyes, and so Blaine’s slightly confused face, but didn’t let himself get distracted. They knew it would always be more difficult for the one who has to figure out the movie first. So Kurt had an advantage this time. But he knew it would only take a few words and Blaine would catch on.

“Has Ron gone to bed?” Kurt asked with a soft, almost invisible smile. Blaine’s face broke into a grin, but he also was a quick wit, he searched for the scene in his head for a moment, so he could be accurate.

“Um, not yet. No.” He said. The name Kurt used was an easy clue. They watched Harry Potter movies all the time. And of course they adored Harry’s and Ginny’s relationship. With its softness and slow build up. It was a perfect choice on Kurt’s part, this scene, as they discussed so many times, was sweet and very intimate, without any real physical contact. Or was it?

“Shoelace.” Kurt said in an almost inaudible voice. And stepped closer. Blaine knew what to expect, and it still caught him by surprise. Adrenaline was pumping in his veins because of the thrill of performing, but also, he really was in Harry’s mindset now. Needing and craving the soothing closeness of Ginny.

Kurt kneeled in front of Blaine. His movements were graceful, and caring. He mimicked tying the laces, slowly. Then he looked up. He locked eyes with Blaine, with Harry, really. All he wanted to convey was the Ginny’s willingness, openness, and comforting presence. Slowly, very slowly he started to stand up. He didn’t touch Blaine, not once, he knew the scene required this bashfulness. But the eyes…

Once Kurt was standing straight, their eyes locked in an intense gaze. They knew the original scene was nearing its end, but they felt like magnets. That’s what was supposed to happen, right? That’s what Ginny and Harry felt. Like they were magnets, forced apart by external powers. They leaned closer, closer, till only inches separated them.

�Then Blaine blinked. And the spell was broken.

They leaned back, and smiled widely. Yeah, this will work, this’d be fun. And yep. Kurt was right. They didn’t feel cheap, or used. This was acting. This was living moment through someone else’s body. And special moments at that.

Blaine felt encouraged. The first scene was kind of easy. Harry Potter, a common denominator. But luckily they had many more of those. Like Jane Austen…

Blaine’s idea of the next scene would be somewhat more challenging. ‘Cause there were no words to be traded, no words to give Kurt a clue. But he trusted his success anyway. And he found the parallel between the original scene and their current state.

As both boys walked slowly, side by side Blaine reached out for Kurt’s hand. But not quite taking it in his own. He merely brushed against Kurt’s little finger with his own. His head and eyes never changed direction, he was gazing intently forward.

And that’s what helped Kurt. The simple gesture was delivered in a way that was not normal for a teenage couple. It suggested something was off. The brushing of fingers, without eyes meeting. Something secretive. Oh. Oh!

It clicked. Becoming Jane. They adored that film, because they adored Jane Austen. They watched every film adaptation of every Austen book together, but Becoming Jane was different. It told a heart-breaking love story, between fiction and biography. And the best part, Kurt and Blaine agreed was how the film conveyed the power of simple touches, simple gestures. One being the not-quite hand holding Jane and Tom were forced to resort to sometimes. It was magical.

So Kurt knew now. He didn’t need to do much. He was Jane, Blaine was Tom. And they had a secret to keep. That was the mindset. And yes, the ancient truth proved to be accurate. Secrets make affairs more exciting. The simple fact, that Kurt (Jane, really) needed to avoid Tom’s glance, and had to look innocent made his heart quicken. And it felt like that tiny spot, the tip of their little fingers were enough for creating an unbreakable bond.

Kurt adored Blaine’s inventiveness and boldness. This choice was daring, simple and very Blaine.

They let go of that little connection of skin, the spell was broken, once again. And now they looked at each other. As Blaine and Kurt. And smiled. Softly, securely.

“Okay, so far so good.” Blaine said confidently. A new idea was already forming in his head. This time he was the one stopping, making Kurt turn around with his movement. He mastered up his most loving, most romantic gaze, he looked adoringly at Kurt’s face, searching for a moment, and then he spoke. Low, but steady.

“You wanna dance with me?” He asked simply. He was already in character, so he needed to figure out a way to help Kurt. Give him some clues. This simple sentence could be from so many movies…

So he made a little step. Towards the middle of the street.

And that was enough.

Kurt smiled, with teeth showing, looking at Blaine dreamily. He always wanted to be a part of this scene. Of that film, really, of that couple. So he answered with the corresponding line.

“Sure.”

Blaine extended his hand, took Kurt’s in his, and led him towards the middle of the luckily empty road. Kurt needed to focus, this wasn’t about his fantasies, this was a part he needed to play. He was Allie now, being courted by Noah. At the beginning of their budding love.

“Now?”

“Hm.”

“Here? We’re not supposed to dance in the street.”

“We’re not supposed to dance in the street.” Blaine, Noah really, mocked. Careful enough not to mock Kurt’s voice, only his tone. Kurt chuckled. Okay, they could do this.

“And we don’t have music.” Kurt pointed out, stating Allie’s concerns.

“Well, we will make some.” Blaine said simply, scooping Kurt into his arms, putting one hand on Kurt lower back, and holding in the other Kurt’s. They started swaying, and Blaine started humming. The tune was familiar, but wasn’t the same as in the film, Kurt knew that much. He let himself be swept away by the moment, enjoying Blaine’s voice, and closeness.

So this is what it feels like, dancing with a boy. They often talked about how they imagined being in the arms of someone special. Sometimes they said that looking at it objectively, two men dancing together could never be as harmonious a scene as a man and a woman’s body melting together.

They were so wrong.

This was amazing. The warmth of the other, the comfort, the laziness. Kurt laid his head on Blaine’s shoulder, and Blaine leaned closer. He nuzzled Kurt’s soft hair, and drowned in the other’s comforting smell. They continued for a few moments, when Kurt moved backwards, to catch Blaine’s eyes. He smiled softly, and made a decision to re-write the script. No way in hell could he tell Blaine what the next line would’ve required him to say. So he chose to differ.

“You’re not a terrible singer.” Blaine smiled gratefully.

Then his grin turned somewhat cocky.

“I know.”

Kurt chuckled.

“And I like this song…” Kurt said softly. He leaned back to Blaine’s body, for a few more seconds. He was memorizing what it felt like being part of such a great couple. Only if for a few minutes. Then he let go of Blaine’s hand, and stepped away. The spell broke. Both boys sighed heavily. Unbeknownst to each other both of them laughed inwardly at the idea that Notebook had some pretty cool scenes they could’ve gone for. They could’ve gone for the ice cream smearing, face licking scene for one, but that would’ve ended messily. Literally. So they continued their remaining walk home.

They had 5-10 minutes left of their walk. The night was getting a little less warm, but it was still not chilly. A soft breeze came suddenly, as if the evening sensed the fresh excitement of these two boys. And Kurt couldn’t help but be inspired by that breeze soothing his pink cheeks.

What came to his mind was bold. Bold not in the sense that it would b challenging for them as performers. Bold in the sense that this was getting heavy. If he went for it, this would be kind of no-turning-back thing. But he wanted it. His mind wanted it. His body agreed.

Without saying a word he grabbed Blaine’s arm and stopped him effectively. He made sure Blaine looked at him, at his face, the first gesture would be very important, and a dead give-away for the scene to come.

Slowly, thoughtfully Kurt closed his eyes. He breathed in, deep. Opened his eyes, found Blaine’s, and decided to go for the opening line.

“It’s like the wind.” He started. No hurry. “I can’t see it. But I feel it.”

The scene was unmistakable, but it took a few seconds for Blaine to find the movie. Two lovers, contemplating about the wind. No rush. Full of trust and curiosity… Yes, he got it. A Walk to Remember. That particular scene is breathtakingly beautiful. Spiritual, emotional, wordy, and… wait a minute. It ends in a kiss.

Kurt waited those few seconds till Blaine came to the realization. He was already in character, but wanted to give Blaine the space and time to decide to back out, if that was what he wanted. He really meant it when he said they could stop whenever.

But Blaine seemed okay with it. After the initial shock, that is. Once he realized what Kurt was proposing, he took a few deep breaths, and thought the scene through. He needed to focus. Get into character. Okay. I can’t see it, but I feel it. He repeated in his head. What’s next, what’s next. Uh!

“What do you feel?” Blaine found the line. He realized this scene was easier for him. It was Kurt doing the more talking. Doing the more zoning out. All he needed to do is bear witness. Bear witness to this miracle, Jamie, appreciating nature, spirituality, and… love.

“I feel wonder, and beauty, and joy. Love.” Kurt played it so authentically. His face was absolutely gorgeous in its transcendence, his eyes were looking into Blaine’s and around them and up to the sky, then back to Blaine’s face. “I mean, it’s the center of everything.” He concluded. Then smiled. And the smile conveyed faith, strength, trust. All directed toward this boy, man in front of him.

Kurt gulped. And couldn’t help his next move. He looked at Blaine’s lips. Just for a second. But it was enough to make his heart race in… what was it? anticipation?

Blaine didn’t miss the movement of Kurt’s eyes. What now? Was this really what Kurt wanted? Was this really what Blaine wanted? He decided to trust the scene, trying to stay in character. What was on Landon’s mind?

“I might kiss you.” He breathed finally. His eyes searched frantically for some kind of a clue in Kurt’s eyes. Was this okay? But he wasn’t sure what was in Kurt’s eyes. He seemed to go for the same “trick”, sticking to the lines. But what will happen when they run out of the words? Which was very soon. In fact…

“I might be bad at it.” Kurt said. Desperately. Quite authentically, compared to the film, you have to give him that. Was he regretting jumping into this scene? No, he wasn’t, he knew that much. But he was waiting for Blaine to lead. To decide.

And Blaine seemed to have the decision. He went for the closing line.

“That’s not possible.”

And stepped closer. And closer. When their shoes were touching he started leaning in. His eyes never leaving Kurt’s. They were so close. Blood rushing in their veins, their breaths mingling. But before those final moments, before either boy could close their eyes they suddenly felt it.

This wasn’t right. This was too quick, this was exactly what they didn’t want. This was doing everything for the wrong reasons. They were neversupposed to see panic in each other’s eyes before a kiss. They couldn’t let that happen. No. They can’t take something so special, and make it into a must.

Suddenly the feeling of relief washed over both boys. They found the familiar safety in each other’s eyes. They didn’t have to do this. They didn’t.

Still gazing at each other both of them leaned back. No, this scene wasn’t the best idea. But they stopped, and that’s what’s important.

They didn’t regret starting the game. No. And they didn’t even regret choosing to go along with this particular scene. It was intimate, sweet, and beautiful. If anything, this “failure” made them more comfortable. The fact that both of them felt the same, that both of them felt it was odd, and off gave them all the reassurance they needed.

Also, after this scene both boys felt that it was time to break the silence. They said nothing except for their scripted lines in long minutes, and they needed each other right now, in their usual best friend capacity.

“Wow, K, you’re really good. I mean, really good. And you tap into everything so quickly.” Blaine complemented Kurt, and he meant it.

“I know what you mean. This is so different from what I imagined. I mean we’ve seen each other on stage, but acting opposite you. it’s just… You’re really talented, B!”

“Thank you.” Blaine blushed a little. They locked gazes again, and the thank you was understood in more than one way. Yes, they could and forever would be able to trust each other.

And now was the time for something so much lighter.

There was only a couple of minutes left of their walk, and they didn’t want to end it like this. So Blaine took a deep breath, gathered his concentration, and started to deliver his latest idea. This time he didn’t stop but speeded up, walking hurriedly before Kurt.

He turned his head, looked over his shoulder, and mastered up his sassiest tone.

“Okay. I've never had anyone stare at my ass for half an hour. Sooo, I'm gonna say goodnight, and hoping you will say it back.”

Kurt laughed out this time. He knew the lines, of course, they watched Coyote Ugly several times together, Adam Garcia was absolutely gorgeous. He remembered the scene, and it took only a few seconds to recall the following words.

“Okay. I can take a hint.” Kurt said lightly. It was the first scene where he played the guy’s part. It was refreshing.� “I really do know a lot of people in the music business.” Kurt added in a teasing manner. Yep, he found his concentration once again, portraying the desperate lover-boy perfectly.

“You just don’t give up, do you?” Blaine struggled with his inner girl, but managed to deliver the line with the right amount of teasing.

“Oh that sweet and innocent thing did me in.” Kurt was free to smile widely at this point, Kevin in the film was overtly flirting, of course.

“Good night, Kevin.” Blaine turned his head around, looking forward now. Giving the perfect view for Kurt to deliver the last line. It was meant as a complement, but was not supposed to elicit a reaction from Blaine.

“Just for the record, I was only staring at your arse for the first fifteen minutes.” And with that Kurt dared himself to look at the exact body part his character was referring to. Blaine really did have a gorgeous tush, Kurt knew this, have always known this, but only this time did he allow himself to register it. Because he was looking through the eyes of Kevin. Right?

Kurt raised his eyes just in time for Blaine to turn around. He was smiling unapologetically now, both of them were. The scene was perfect, light and fun. And apparently their last one.

The boys almost arrived, they could see both houses now, they knew it meant the end of their little game.

They fell into a silence, both their minds racing, searching for some kind of solution. No, they didn’t want this to end. They didn’t. It was fun. And helpful in their acting career, wasn’t it? And if they were totally honest with themselves they were surprised. By how much there is to learn about another person physically.

Previously they always thought of physicality as something closely related to sex. Or intercourse. Something that led up to that, at least. But it was so much more. It was the way one raised their eyes, the way they batted their lashes, the way their breath became ragged, or the way a deep sigh came out of their mouths. And even more. The way a smile turned into a smile, and a smile encouraged a caress, and the way a caress allowed goosebumps to appear on one’s skin. These were all very intimate details, special details one can have of a partner, even if they are as far from intercourse as one can be. And this was thrilling, exhilarating.

And the boys didn’t want to stop.

There was so much more there, they knew it. And it was okay until they felt safe. Right? The only real concern they shared was that they would take away special moments, and turn them into something mediocre. But this wasn’t the case, was it? It felt anything but mediocre. It was special, and sweet, and innocent, but not in a baby penguin way.

It was Blaine to break the pensive silence. He stopped once again, one last time before reaching their homes. Turned to Kurt, met his gaze, and demanded his full attention.

There was no need for demand, though. Kurt sensed every little movement, and was eager to hear what Blaine would come up with. He didn’t dare to hope he would hear what he wanted to hear…

“K, I don’t want to stop.”

There it was. Kurt’s heart made a little funny jump. Yes!

But he said nothing. He waited for Blaine to continue. This was strictly professional, right?

“I know we said it would last till we get home. But we’re here, and I need more time. This is fun! Don’t you think? And I have so many more ideas.”

Kurt smiled softly at this admission. Yeah, he had many more too.

“So can’t we say that we’re not home yet? Can’t we say I’ll take the car keys out of my pocket now, we get into my car, drive to our usual place, and continue this. A little longer?” Blaine was pleading, but it was not his voice that gave him away. His voice was steady, strong. Persuading.

The place he talked of was a little meadow in the middle of Lima, surprisingly empty all the time, especially at night time, but not in a scary way. They went there to rehearse stuff anyway, so it’d be perfect.

Kurt needed no persuading, however. He didn’t want to seem too eager either, for the simple reason that he didn’t want to seem horny. Because that’s not what this was. But he too wanted to continue. And he was over the moon that Blaine felt the same excitement.

So he pretended to be scolding, only to tease Blaine, but finally gave his most honest smiles, and nodded softly.

“Yes, Blaine, I’d like that.”

The use of Blaine’s real name didn’t go unnoticed by either of them. It wasn’t a conscious decision on Kurt’s part, but it came out, and that was how he felt. He didn’t want to use any of their usual endearments, because he felt a shift. He felt a change in his mood, in their intimacy. It wasn’t a secret, it wasn’t anything to give him cause to feel guilty. He just felt different somehow. He didn’t know exactly why.

There was no need for further words right now, they did exactly what Blaine proposed. Instead of going home they walked to Blaine’s car. He opened the doors, they got in the car. Once they both were seated, they locked eyes once again. And shared a smile.

It was still full of trust, but they were also nervous. And that was new. Where did it come from? Well… This was not the game anymore. That’s what felt new. It was still called a game, and they still tried to remain the performers that started the game with so much excitement. But the fact that Blaine was brave enough to say I need more, and Kurt was courageous enough to say, Yeah, me too… Well, that was kind of unexpected. But so so welcome.

What did they so eagerly said yes to? Learning. Studying each other, and studying intimacy with the help of each other. They couldn’t have known at the beginning, that this is how it’d turn out. No. They hoped it’d be fun, a fun acting exercise. And they hoped that acting out romantic scenes would give some kind of a release in their frustrated, lonely phase. But this was so much more. It felt new, and special, comforting and thrilling, familiar and so so exciting.

The short ride was spent in silence, Blaine drove, humming absentmindedly, both boys were lost in their thought. Fortunately, they didn’t have enough time for their insecurities and concerns to seep back in to the front of their minds. They were searching for scenes to do, excuses, really, to stay close, to touch, to feel, to experiment.

Blaine slowed down the car, they arrived. There were only a few streetlamps here, so they would be able to get to the small field and gaze at the stars, that was an exciting prospect, but not really new. They did this thousands of times before.

Not like this, of course. Not with this pending game between them.

Blaine stopped the car completely, and for a few seconds neither of them moved. Even if it wasn’t explicitly said, by this point both of them new what they were in this for. And it was a little scary.

Did this mean that they were wrong on wanting physicality with someone special? Or did this mean that the idea was truly brilliant, and they lived through characters for now, and it was special because those on-screen couples were special? Or what did this mean?

They didn’t know. All they knew, that this felt strangely right. Looking back at the “failed” kiss scene before they understood now that it was odd only because it was too much, too soon. What else could be there that’s wrong, when feeling the other so close and so alive was capital letter Right?

Blaine had a brilliant idea. It was a little risky, he feared that after the car drive this would be too abrupt, but he needed to do this, and the film he had in might was all the reassurance he needed that Kurt would be okay with it, too.

He looked at Kurt, trying to sense his mood, and when he didn’t see the slightest hesitation regarding the continuation of their game, he went for it.

He moved towards Kurt, who was still sitting in his place, and he sort of kneeled next to him. There wasn’t a lot of space for maneuvering, but he didn’t want to straddle Kurt, that would have been too much. But he needed to convey that the scene demanded closeness.

Kurt, trusting Blaine with everything he had, didn’t move. He waited. He knew this was a new scene, from a new film, he just didn’t have enough information as to guess just yet.

Their pulses quickened, the closeness was almost too much. Butterflies started a joyous dance in their stomachs, and a pleasant warmth spread throughout their bodies. Blaine searched for Kurt’s eyes, and silently begged for approval. Kurt didn’t do anything to stop him, and that was enough. Kurt knew Blaine would be careful, with anything that he had in mind.

The gaze grew intense, Blaine never knew a pair of eyes could do so much to the rest of his anatomy. He leaned forward, and pressed his forehead softly to Kurt’s. Than he moved back the slightest bit to look at him again, and the next time he moved closer he aimed at Kurt’s ear.

“Kurt, breathe onto the glass.” Blaine’s voice was low, sensual.

And Kurt was lost. What? What was that from? It didn’t sound familiar at all… He needed to know, otherwise he’d be lost completely.

“What?” Kurt breathed out.

“Just do it, Kurt. Please. Trust me. Breathe onto the window.” He emphasized his demand with a slight nod of his head, towards the window on Kurt’s side, as if the boy didn’t know what a window was. Kurt was still lost, but was not in the position to say no to the boy who was so dangerously and deliciously close.

So he leaned towards the window, took a deep breath, and carefully exhaled, so the window was now foggy almost completely. Kurt didn’t turn his head back towards Blaine, and Blaine used this opportunity to move into the crook of Kurt’s neck. He didn’t quite touch it, not with fingers, and not with his lips. But he was now close enough to smell Kurt’s delicious perfume, and to feel the heat emanating from Kurt’s skin. It was absolutely intoxicating. He let out ragged breaths himself, and this apparent sign of closeness caused Kurt’s skin to tighten with goosebumps.

Kurt didn’t think it was possible, but his heart-rate quickened even more, and Blaine’s must have as well, because his shoulders were rising and dropping more quickly now.

Kurt didn’t even have to take deep breaths to provide the heat that kept the window foggy. Now he only concentrated on not producing embarrassing soft little moans at Blaine’s ministrations.

Blaine didn’t hold back anymore. He wanted to touch, feel, taste. So he leaned even closer, and softly, oh so softly attached his lips to the creamy skin of Kurt’s neck.

The explosions going on in Kurt’s body were indescribable, and painfully pleasant, almost unbearably.

That was the point, when Kurt felt a gentle tug on his right wrist, the one closest to the door, and the window. Blaine carefully took his wrist in his hand, and started to lift it, slowly, towards the window.

The familiar eureka moment came to Kurt.

He realized what the whole thing was for. The car, the window, the fog… His hand was no longer a puppet in Blaine’s hand, although, he had to admit, the simple gesture of Blaine taking charge made him go absolutely crazy, but he knew where this was going. And he loved every bit of it.

So now the two of them lifted Kurt’s hand towards the window, and not forcefully, but still with a definite movement Kurt pressed his palm to the glass. Blaine chose this moment to once again press an open mouthed kiss to Kurt’s sensitive neck, and this time Kurt didn’t hold back, and a pleasure filled moan escaped his lips. Jesus Christ. So that’s what Rose felt in that steamy car…

The scene felt surreal. Blaine made one of Kurt’s dream come true by creating the Titanic atmosphere around them, but Kurt never thought the whole glass-thing would fade into a tiny insignificant symbolism next to the unimaginable pleasure Blaine’s lips meant on his neck.

He gulped audibly, and squirmed a little, so Blaine would take the hint, and move away a little, because this really was a little too much, though not in the way the previous kiss would have been. Kurt wanted this, every bit, and he wasn’t panicking. He just needed to keep the fa�ade of the game for a little more, for his safety, for their safety, and the scene was over, there was no way to continues, so he just wanted to exit the car for now.

Blaine seemed to get the picture, and moved away carefully, sat back in the driver’s seat, and got out of the car swiftly. Kurt followed him in a somewhat lazier manner. Which gave Blaine the advantage to move towards the trunk of the car and get the blanket he kept there all the time. He closed the car and started his way towards the middle of the small field, to spread the blanket so they could settle down comfortably. He sat down, pulling his kneed to his chest, and gazing up at the stars, waiting for Kurt in this manner. Not hurry, no worry, he felt okay. He knew Kurt did too.

He heard Kurt’s soft steps approaching the blanket, but didn’t look up. So he didn’t see Kurt kneeling behind him, silently, and preparing for their next scene.

Kurt softly put his arms around Blaine from above. His kneeling position gave him the height advantage, and he could hug Blaine’s middle from behind, resting his chin on Blaine’s shoulder, and leaning his head close to Blaine’s ear.

This closeness wasn’t the over-heated proximity of their Titanic revival, it was softer, more caring.

And Kurt started humming.

Blaine immediately recognized the melody, and hoped that Kurt would sing more of the song for him, with the words softly sung directly into his ear, and soul. And that’s exactly what Kurt did.

Nothing's gonna harm you, not while I'm around. Nothing's gonna harm you, no sir, not while I'm around. Demons are prowling everywhere, nowadays, I'll send 'em howling,� I don't care, I got ways. No one's gonna hurt you,� No one's gonna dare. Others can desert you,� Not to worry, whistle, I'll be there. Demons'll charm you with a smile, for a while, But in time... Nothing can harm you Not while I'm around... Not to worry, not to worry I may not be smart, but I'm not dumb. I can do it. Put me to it. Show me somethin - I can overcome. Not to worry, mum. Being close and being clever� Ain't like being true I don't need to,� I would never hide a thing from you, Like some... Nothin's gonna harm you. Not while I'm around. Nothing's gonna harm you, darling Not while I'm around. Demons'll charm you with a smile, for a while, But in time... Nothing can harm you Not while I'm around...

By the end of the sweet yet powerful song Blaine smiled widely. That was exactly what he needed, what they needed. Sweeney Todd, yes, on the one hand. But on the other, reassurance that Kurt didn’t regret any of this, that Kurt was still game, so to speak, that they were okay, more than okay, and whatever happens, the trust is still there, the safety is still there.

From the hastiness and maddening hotness in the car the atmosphere shifted towards something sweeter, more tender, and it was so okay. After all, this is part of physicality as well. And the boys were just learning that, right here, right now. This, this very non-sexual act, a soothing song was part of what makes two people want to be close to each other.

After the end of the song Kurt stayed for a minute put in place, hugging Blaine, rocking almost invisibly back and forth. Blaine lifted his hand, and touched Kurt’s forearms, caressing the boy, thanking him in silence for his voice, his strength, their strength together.

The tenderness of the scene brought them back to a mindset of slower movements and lazier gestures, and it brought back Blaine’s mind to a pre-Victorian era, and to their beloved Jane Austen. He had a though.

He moved away from Kurt, out of his arms, but only to turn around and face the other boy. He prompted Kurt softly to sit back on his heels, and Blaine was the one kneeling in front of him this time. He leaned towards Kurt, but was careful not to touch him at any point. He smiled softly, and looked into Kurt’s eyes intently. He was in the mindset of a newlywed husband, a loving husband, more particularly in the mindset of Mr. Darcy. He hesitated for a moment because once again he would put Kurt in the position of the woman, but he trusted that Kurt knew he never thought of him as a woman. Never. And he needed to use the expression for the sake of the scene that was to unfold in front of them, with them.

“And how are you this evening, Mrs. Darcy?” Blaine said in a playful tone. This time Kurt had no challenge as to what the scene was from, he only had to sit there, and drown in the loving adoration and care of his “husband”.

But they, once again, had to, had to think about where this was going. At the end of this scene Mr. Darcy kisses his new bride on the lips. Yes, there is a slow and very sweet development towards it, but still. Eventually they would get there. Was this okay? Was it okay after the first failed attempt?

Oh yes.

They knew this was somehow different. Very different. Long long minutes passed since then, and they secluded the musts from their minds. They both were into this. And wanted to continue. This was softer, less abrupt than the previous “kissing” scene would have been, and well… how can you explain this? There wasn’t the slightest sign of the previous panic in their eyes. As surely as thy felt the earlier scene was off, or not right, they just knew, somehow knew that this was right. Gosh, so so right.

Their eyes gave them away the first time, and they did the same now. Blaine saw the determination in Kurt’s gaze, so he took a deep breath, said his thanks that Pride and Prejudice had an alternate ending in the American screening, and continued the scene.

He leaned in, and watched in awe as Kurt closed his eyes, his face turning angelic with this pure gesture. Blaine cupped Kurt’s cheek tenderly, and kissed his forehead with the softest of kisses. He move back the slightest, and repeated the name.

“Mrs. Darcy” This time when he leaned in he kissed Kurt’s left cheek. He felt Kurt smiling into the kiss.

“Mrs. Darcy” Blaine kissed Kurt’s perfect little nose.

“Mrs. Darcy” He moved towards Kurt’s right cheek and kissed so very close to the corner of Kurt’s mouth. He could almost hear Kurt’s breath hitch.

Blaine moved backwards for (they both knew) one last time, Kurt’s lashes fluttered, he opened his eyes for the briefest moment, just to look intently into Blaine’s honey orbs, then closed again. This time Blaine followed suit, and let himself just feel. He leaned closer and closer, his heartbeat quickening with a now familiar pace, he gulped, and prepared himself for what was to come.

Their lips met in a sweet, innocent kiss. And they immediately realized, that no-one and nothing could’ve prepared them for what was to come. Their mouths moved against each other in the most perfect angles, their lips were firm but plush, moist, and tender. They knew people usually said kissing took practice but they never wanted to find out what it felt like after practice, because this was perfect, this was right.

Blaine’s hand that was still holding Kurt’s face moved backwards, towards the nape of Kurt’s neck, his thumb caressing the spot below Kurt’s ear. And Kurt, needing to do something with his own hands fisted Blaine’s shirt to show him that he wanted him close, never leaving, never moving.

But the kiss had to end. It had to, because the boys still needed to pretend. They needed the safety-net that was their little game, to know that this, whatever happened, wouldn’t ruin their connection, their relationship. They needed to pretend, because neither could have been sure of the other’s intentions, and willingness to move beyond the game. This was exciting, but also safe. Were they to break the fa�ade and say out loud that it was no longer interesting to put on characters, it could have easily been broken for good. And they didn’t want that at all.

So they moved apart, not too much, just so there were a few inches between them, and they retracted their hands from each other’s body. It wasn’t the easiest thing to do, since their hands seemed to have a mind of their own, wanting nothing else than to touch and caress and feel. But they controlled themselves. For now.

From those few inches of distance the boys gazed at each other, their breaths calming slowly. And this time it was Kurt whose face broke into a wide, mischievous grin.

“I have a brilliant idea.” He stated. His voice came out as an almost whisper, but an excited one at that. They kinda felt that anything louder would be so out-of-context now. They shared something extraordinary, and very very intimate. Keeping it low was the only way to go.

“You seem to have those a lot.” Blaine teased in a similarly hushed voice. Kurt only grinned some more.

“Lie down.” He said. Blaine was surprised, but didn’t seem unwilling, he just needed more information.

“On your back. Lie down. I wanna try something. And I know you do too, because we talked of this a million times.” Kurt adored that everything they shared came in handy now.

“It’s a kiss scene. Is that okay?” He asked Blaine softly, his smile faded but only because he suddenly became very insecure with verbally admitting what they have just done.

“Yeah… It’s okay.” Blaine said. And for some reason he felt the need to add “More than okay.”

There it was, Kurt’s smile returned. Blaine started to do as he was told, he had no idea what was going to happen, but he trusted Kurt, so he lay on his back. Eyes searching Kurt’s face for any clues.

Kurt hovered above Blaine in an odd position, he reached for one of Blaine’s hand on his side, and lifted Blaine’s palm towards the boy’s chest. He helped Blaine trace a necklace under his shirt, and prompted Blaine to pull it out under his shirt. Now Blaine was lying on is back, his hand on his own chest, feeling a little medallion under his fingers. Kurt continued, and put his hand on Blaine’s and shifted his body so he kneeled at Blaine’s head, above him, so from his angle Blaine was upside down.

That was the point Blaine’s mind put the pieces together. This wasn’t the Spiderman kiss, they couldn’t deliver that. But it was almost as good. The Recruit. And the breathtakingly sexy Colin Farrell. Blaine now new that it was supposed to be Kurt wearing the necklace, that would have been more accurate, but he couldn’t care less. All that mattered was that they agreed (many times) that this was one of the most exciting kissing scenes ever, Colin Farrell leaning down from above, to the girl lying on his bed, waiting for him, eagerly.

And that’s what Kurt chose to portray with Blaine, for Blaine.

As soon as Blaine caught on, he smiled widely. This was indeed brilliant, and he loved Kurt for being so daring and creative. All he needed to do was wait, lying on his back, and let himself be swept away by Kurt’s, I mean Colin’s, oh, the heck, Kurt’s closeness.

And as scripted, Kurt smiled, and moved closer and closer, not even bothering to wipe away the smile, just as he was, he pressed his lips to Blaine’s, and the miracle was repeated.

How was this even possible? Wasn’t it only the first time that was supposed to be like a firework? Or if you’re lucky the sparks would never go away? Can anyone get tired of kissing? Or of kissing Blaine? Kurt thought. Well, not in the near future anyway…

And still smiling, he moved away, reluctantly, once again. But he wanted to, needed to give Blaine his space.

Although, he didn’t prepare himself for what he saw next. There, lying, stretched out Blaine was gazing at him with an intensity that made Kurt’s insides do backflips, and he wanted to, so desperately make this one moment last forever. The look in Blaine’s eyes were everything he’s ever wanted to see in the eyes of a boy he would once call his. There was lust, yes, and longing, but also trust, tenderness, and so so so much love and adoration. He couldn’t decide whether Blaine was still in character, pretending to be his lover, or whether these things were really there For a second he didn’t care. Either way it was the most complete he ever felt, the most wanted, the most loved, and in the gaze of that beautiful boy he felt reborn.

He wished, so desperately for that to be reality. But how could he know for sure?

There it was, what they knew all along. The danger they wanted to avoid. The uncertainty, the ambiguity. Was it acting? Was it not?

And before Kurt could let these insecurities wash away everything in him Blaine moved, quicker than Kurt could’ve have time to react. Blaine sat up, and he felt himself �being pushed down softly to the blanket. He was the one laying on his back now. He could’ve freaked out by Blaine’s strength and force, but he didn’t. He still felt safe, no matter what. And was curious where this would go.

Taking his previous thoughts aside he once again admired Blaine as a performer. He seemed so sure in his every movement. Every little gesture was powerful and clear. But what was this scene unfolding?

Blaine didn’t mimic the position Kurt used previously, he wasn’t kneeling above Kurt, he crouched down next to Kurt, beside him. He lifted his palm to Kurt’s face, and oh so tenderly put his fingers on Kurt’s forehead, and drew his hand down, towards Kurt’s nose. Effectively shutting Kurt’s eyes. As if to a dead body.

A lover. Next to a dead body. A funeral. Or something like that. Tender, soft, loving touches. What was this scene? Kurt needed to think fast, because his eyes were closed, and potentially Blaine wanted him to react. Or not?

Or not! He didn’t have to. So he really was dead. And he really was a she. Romeo and Juliet! Of course. Blaine knew Kurt loved that film. I mean, honestly. Leo DiCaprio. Who wouldn’t.

The line Blaine chose as an opener told Kurt that he really had no part in the diction this time.

“I will kiss thy lips. Haply some poison yet doth hang on them.” Blaine breathed, his voice coming out desperately, Kurt could sense that even with eyes closed. And wow, even with the mere medium of his voice Blaine could convey so much. But Kurt didn’t have time to admire the actor in Blaine. Because different thoughts pushed to the forefront now.

Okay. So Romeo’s farewell. Did Blaine try to communicate something? Was this the end? Or was it just another scene ending in a soft, loving kiss?

He didn’t know, and for a swift moment didn’t care. For a third time that night he felt those perfect lips touch his own, and he couldn’t think straight. His body wanted to react, so bad, but what could he do? He was dead, for crying out loud. He couldn’t, he shouldn’t.

And that’s when it dawned on him.

We can’t do this. I can’t do this.

He opened his eyes, breaking the spell, breaking the scene, breaking everything. He put his hand on Blaine’s chest, and pushed him away softly.

Blaine was surprised to say the least. He didn’t expect that reaction.

“What’s wrong, Kurt?” Blaine asked, voice softer than an angel’s voice. “Did I hurt you? I’m sorry. I should’ve make sure you knew the film…”

“No, Blaine, it’s not that. It’s just… It’s getting late. I think we should go…go home.” Kurt tried to keep his voice steady. He needed to be obeyed this once, no matter what. He couldn’t stay on that blanket, under the starts, with Blaine.

Blaine must have sensed Kurt’s certainty, because he didn’t ask anything. He nodded once, and stood up slowly, extending his hand to help Kurt up. Kurt, didn’t take it, however, and mumbled something like “no, it’s okay”, and stood up as well. Kurt walked towards the car, Blaine lazily grabbed the blanket, and followed him. He opened the car, they both got in, and Blaine, with one last look at Kurt, who didn’t look back, started the engine, and started their short drive home.

It was all so quick.

But Kurt couldn’t stay. Suddenly everything was so so clear to him.

He wasn’t acting anymore. There was no use denying it. The kiss he was supposed to bear through as a passive receiver (he needed to be dead for Christ’s sake) killed him. He knew it wasn’t a scene anymore, he wanted Blaine. He didn’t want Romeo, he wanted Blaine, with everything he had to offer.

The most romantic love story of all time made him open his eyes (quite literally), and see that he didn’t want fiction, he didn’t want fantasies. He wanted, gosh, he needed Blaine.

And it wasn’t the physicality that he longed for. No. What he learned tonight, even if right now it seemed a painful knowledge, was that it never was just physicality. Never. Everything physical had so much more under the surface. Every touch was an intention as well, every gaze was a promise, every kiss was trust embodied. Trust, and respect and love.

And the way Blaine oh so authentically conveyed these scenes made Kurt realize that that’s exactly what he wanted. He wanted what Blaine could give, because everything Blaine put into these roles originated from his tender big heart, from his caring attitude and his talent and intelligence. It wasn’t his body what made him sexy, it was everything else that made his body so graceful and defined and complete. Kurt couldn’t really grasp it in words, but Blaine was flawless, he has been all along, but this unleash of physical gestures somehow made the picture perfect.

To Blaine’s proposal, the friend-with-benefits scenario Kurt said no, because he never wanted something special taken away. Because two friend pretending to be physical when nothing else is going on is too horny-teenager-y.

But what he shared tonight with Blaine was anything but.

It was special, memorable, and yes, that word again. Perfect. He didn’t regret a thing.

Up to the point where Blaine pulled the Romeo scene.

Because that’s when it dawned on Kurt that he was alone. He was in the arms of a boy, and he was alone. He lived through the most romantic scene ever, but the fact that he actually was willing to give his heart, not Juliet’s heart but his own, and the other boy was merely acting, the idea made him die a little. He couldn’t bear that.

And now, he was sitting next to this boy, this boy that was more perfect than any fictional Romeo, better than Leo and Colin and Ryan Gosling and Harry Potter together, and he couldn’t say a word, because this boy was also his best friend, and he promised, he promised, even if not in so many words but he promised that they would be okay after this evening.

Heck, he was the one initiating the whole game, for Christ’s sake, and now, how could he say to Blaine, sorry, I screwed up, I can’t ever look at you the same way ever again…

This was awful.

But yes, Kurt was a performer. All the storm working inside his mind and soul did not reach the surface. At least not visibly.

Blaine was worried, of course he was. But He couldn’t say anything. He didn’t want to push Kurt, he didn’t know what to ask, where to start. Did he do something wrong? Or was he supposed to believe Kurt? It really was just getting late? He didn’t know, and he didn’t have much time either.

They arrived home, and there were no excuses this time. Because they didn’t want to make up any.

Kurt got out of the car, leaned back in for a moment, smiled at Blaine, and mumbled a “good night”. He shut the door and walked towards his house.

Blaine couldn’t believe the night, this amazing night would end like this… He jumped out, and ran after Kurt.

“Kurt, wait, please. Don’t do this. Talk to me. Please.” He was begging. Begging for something, anything.

“Blaine, please, leave it, there isn’t anything to it. I really was just tired all of a sudden. It really is kinda late now, you know, we should be fresh and ready for tomorrow. Studying and all that.”

Pleasem believe it, Kurt pleaded in his head. Please believe this bullshit, that I realized I was dead tired while you were kissing me… Please.

“Okay. Okay. I get it.” Blaine said. Kurt made a little sigh of relief. “Thank you for tonight Kurt. I had a great time.”

“Yeah, me too.” Effin understatement of the century. This was, and will remain the best night I had. Ever. Ever. Ever. “See you tomorrow, kay?” Kurt turned around, searched for his keys, opened the door and stepped inside. All in a matter of seconds.

Blaine was dumbfounded. He stood there for a minute. His mind racing. But what could he do? Nothing. Kurt shut the door. What else was there to do?

He turned around, walked over the street, and entered his own home. The house was silent, of course. He was alone. He made it upstairs, to his room, switched on the light. He looked through the window, and saw Kurt’s on the other side of the street. His curtains were drawn, so all he could see was that Kurt’s lights were on as well.

He took a deep breath, and threw himself on his bed with a desperate exhale.

This was off. This was soooo so off.

He needed something. He needed help to work through these confusing thought. He needed to see clear, because all he had was this odd feeling, that something went wrong, because during the night he felt okay, more than okay, and now here he was, alone in his room, and nothing was okay. Nothing was right.

He sat to his desk. And started writing. Like a maniac. That was his usual method. Taking a piece of paper and just writing. Because that provided a step back. A somewhat objective perspective. And he needed that.

It could have been an hour or only 10 minutes, Blaine didn’t know, but he wrote down almost everything that happened that night. He didn’t have time to write down his feelings attached to the events, he’d do that later, but he wrote down most stuff that happened, and it worked.

He started to see what went wrong, he started to see why he felt so off right now.

And he needed to tell Kurt. but how?

He sat to his computer, and started to write and e-mail. He knew they would have all the time in the world to discuss the details, at least he hoped they would. He just needed to convey the gist right now. He spent a few minutes hastily composing the letter.

Kurt,

I know ur probably tired, & kinda fed up w/ me right now. or r u? I dunno. I really couldn’t tell. I just needed to tell u sg, & I couldn’t wait.

I was stupid. and I’m so sorry. I was stupid for suggesting being friends with benefits. u were right, it would�1ve ruined us. and gosh I hope what I write now won’t. I trust us. I can only be honest, I hope our honesty will get us through this. pls. say it will.

I was stupid,but I was honest all night. when I said I didn’t want to get home yet, I meant it. and I think I meant it to have more time to “act”. and we did. we acted tonight, I know that.

but u know what u said about having special moments with special ppl,how we always dreamed about those… Kurt, what we did tonite was very special. at least for me. there’s no surprise there. I guess. ur a phenomenal performer, and apparently a phenomenal kisser…

but that’s not what I’m trying to say. the only thing that right now is crucial that I realized something.

kurt, I’d do it all over again. and I wouldn’t be acting this time. I’d do it again just to feel ur closeness, 2 feel ur touch, 2 feel ur lips. because all those are so very you. and it took tonight’s game for me to realize that this was somehow missing from our relationship. that those little things, those physical things completed us, in a way I can’t describe w/ words. all I can say that I’m not that good an actor to pretend to feel so very and utterly complete as I felt being in ur arms. my body and my mind and my soul finally spoke in harmony tonite. they all said this is it, this is right. and I don’t wanna go against that. unless u ask me to. of course.

I could come up with the greatest variety of romantic scenes, but it would never be as good as thinking that it’s you and me there, with everything u are, and with everything I can and want to give to u. I’d do this whole night again, but without the fa�ade, without everything else. and knowing from the beginning that it’s u I want to tell those words to, not someone else.

Kurt, my dearest Kurt, I dunno where this takes us. if u want me I’ll never mention this again. but pls, just give it some thought. I can’t promise the future, Kurt, but I can promise to work hard at making it happen the best way possible. Let me try to romance you just as I am, without games, without others.

walking away from u felt so wrong, I’m sorry it took me so long to realize why…

c u soon, I hope.

xoxoxoxox – b

Blaine really did write the latter in a hurried manner, it took him only a few minutes, he knew that if Kurt read it, he’d understand it, no matter its language… He wasn’t proud, but that was beside the point now. He sent the mail, and took a look at the house across the street.

Kurt’s light was still on.

So Blaine took a deep breath and took out his phone to compose a text.

Kurt,pls check ur mails if u can.its important.i’ll send another text in a few,pls dont read it be4 u finish the mail.i know this is beyond weird,but pls.xxx–b

And then he waited.

Kurt on the other side of the street didn’t even expect to have a peaceful night. He didn’t go to bed, he was pacing the floor of his room. In silence. He didn’t know how much time passed when he heard his phone vibrate.

He took a few quick steps towards his table, picked up the phone, and checked the text.

Kurt,pls check ur mails if u can.its important.i’ll send another text in a few,pls dont read it be4 u finish the mail.i know this is beyond weird,but pls.xxx–b

Oooookay… He was kinda freaking out now. Apparently Blaine couldn’t sleep either. Was this a bad sign. Did he sense something. Was he writing to tell him not to see him ever again? Okay, Kurt, you need to calm down. It can’t be that bad. Just check your mails, for crying out loud.

He sat down, and opened his inbox. And read the letter. Once. Twice. And for a third time.

Somewhere between the first and second read his phone vibrated again, as promised. He didn’t move. He wanted to absorb the mail. Fully. Completely.

Did he get this right? Was Blaine saying what he thought he was saying?

Probably not, right? Because the letter seemed to say everything Kurt wanted to hear… That no matter what they’d be okay. But also, that Blaine felt the same way. He felt that what they shared was more than special. And most importantly, Blaine was saying that he wanted to give a shot at not acting out scenes, but making their own reality. Together. As a couple. Right? That was what he was saying, right?

Kurt reached for his phone, and dared to check the second text… And his heart skipped a beat.

Dearest Kurt, will you go on a date with me? Xxx – b

As simple as that, everything was there. In a simple question Kurt had all the answers he needed. He felt his chest couldn’t contain his heart anymore. He needed to go to Blaine, he needed to see him. Gosh, right now!

He made his way quickly downstairs, and grabbed the handle of the door, swung it open and his breath was taken away once more. There, a few feet away from him was Blaine, pacing the empty street, mumbling to himself, worry all across his face.

Kurt’s heart melted at this view. His Blaine, his dearest Blaine was there, waiting, worrying, for him, because of him.

The light emanating from the doorway seemed to catch Blaine’s attention and immediately he looked up, locking eyes with an almost crying Kurt. But it was a good almost-cry, and they both knew this. Immediately.

A wave of emotions washed over Kurt. He felt grateful, for Blaine’s strength, for his honesty, and bravery, he felt grateful for the safety, he felt grateful for not taking away tonight’s memories, and making him feel that everything was truly genuine. He was grateful for Blaine for making that extra step, for making him feel special and wanted. He felt grateful for taking away his loneliness, because once he has someone to share this with.

And he felt grateful that Blaine was there, making one more step towards Kurt, waiting for him in front of his house. Showing that they could meet halfway. That neither was alone anymore in this. They were very much there for each other. For now. And as long as the other would have them.

Kurt rushed towards Blaine, and threw his arms around his neck, clinging to the boy as if his life depended on it. It wasn’t a promise for that night, it wasn’t implying anything for tonight. They really had all the time in the word. It was merely a reassurance, of the safety they cold provide for the other. Emotionally, spiritually, physically.

When they pulled apart Blaine took Kurt’s one hand in his, the other he lifted to cup Kurt’s face tenderly.

“So, my dearest Kurt” Blaine asked smiling. “Will you go on a date with me?”

What Blaine asked has so much more to it than the surface showed. It said volumes of what he felt for Kurt. It told Kurt that yes, Blaine loved him as a friend for the longest time, but this was different. His question should have been, and it really was this… Will you give us the chance to fall in love with each other? And Kurt’s answer was the same for both question.

“Yes, Blaine.” Kurt said in a soft voice, but with the widest smile he could master. “I would love to!”