Title: Nervous
Author: Star
Rating: NC-17
Pairings/Characters: Kurt/Blaine
Word Count: 1,800+
Summary: Kurt is nervous about sex. He doesn’t want the pain of bottoming to ruin his and Blaine’s relationship. Blaine is amused that Kurt assumes that he would be the bottom.
Warnings: First time sex. Some awkwardness.
A/N: Prompt fill for xlovelyviolets who wanted Kurt nervous about first time sex and Blaine being amused that Kurt assumes that he would be the bottom. I hope you enjoy, bb. ♥
Disclaimer: Not mine. I just have a vivid and healthy imagination.



The nervous flutter in Kurt’s stomach still exists every single time he and Blaine kiss. It’s exciting, it’s still new and he loves it. He loves the feel of Blaine’s lips pressed against his own, soft and warm. He loves Blaine’s hands resting on his hips, or when he’s feeling bolder, under his shirt, resting on the small of his back. He loves the breathy little sighs that leave Blaine’s lips whenever they part. He loves the closeness and he loves knowing that it’s Blaine. After pining after him for so long, he finally has Blaine. Even though they’ve been together for a few months already, it still sends a thrill through him, knowing that Blaine wants him just as much as he wants Blaine.

Things have progressively been getting heavier between them. Their make out sessions have involved a lot more touching, more hands everywhere. Blaine’s leg tends to slip between Kurt’s own and they press together as close as possible with their layers of clothes in the way.

It’s exhilarating and it’s absolutely petrifying at the same time.

Kurt has never been in a situation where anyone has wanted him so much. It’s scary and he isn’t sure if he’s ready for that level of intimacy yet. He knows Blaine is ready but there’s something that’s been holding him back.

He can’t talk with Blaine about it, it’s too embarrassing, but he wants to. Every time he gets the courage up to talk about it, he blushes redder than a tomato and changes the subject to a passage from Patti LuPone’s autobiography that he’s been re-reading again.

He’s pretty sure that Blaine’s picked up on the fact that he’s not being as open as he usually is but Blaine’s been a perfect gentleman and hasn’t asked.

Until today.

Kurt’s sitting on Blaine’s bed, nervously fidgeting with the hem of his cardigan. Blaine’s sitting next to him, one hand resting on Kurt’s knee, clearly trying to be supportive over something he doesn’t know and doesn’t understand.

Kurt sighs and shifts off the bed, moving to stand next to it. He avoids all eye contact with Blaine as he mumbles his pre-thought out excuses about not being ready for sex.

“Is it me?” Blaine asks. “Are you not attracted to me? Or sexually attracted to me?” He’s completely earnest, a flick of hurt crosses his face and Kurt feels his stomach drop.

“No! God, no!” Kurt rushes to reply. “You’re very attractive, Blaine. I’m…” he swallows thickly. “I’m just… I’m scared, okay?”

Blaine shuffles to the edge of his bed where Kurt is standing and reaches out for one of his hands. “What are you scared about?”

“Everything,” Kurt replies.

“Can you narrow it down for me?” Blaine asks, caressing Kurt’s hand.

“It’s… sex is a big deal, Blaine,” Kurt says. “It changes people. I know you weren’t there but everyone in the Glee club changed after they lost their virginities. I don’t want it to change me.”

“It’ll only change you if you want it to,” Blaine replies. “You’re still you. You’ll just be a person who’s had sex, that’s all.”

Kurt sighs and shakes his head. He can’t explain it, it’s too awkward and Blaine probably wouldn’t understand. He’s the kind of guy that so many people have had a crush on – of both sexes. Blaine’s always had some kind of attention like that before.

“It’s okay,” Blaine says. “We don’t have to have sex, Kurt. Not until you’re ready.”

Kurt nods and feels like he barely got out of that situation unscathed.

~*~

The next time that Blaine brings up sex, Kurt isn’t nearly as lucky. They’re making out again, Kurt is on his back and Blaine is straddling one of his thighs, rutting down into him.

They’re both hard and Kurt wants nothing more than to get off with Blaine but he doesn’t want to think about the technicalities of it all.

He knows that when he goes home, he’ll probably jerk off in the shower but a part of him doesn’t want to leave, not yet.

“Do you want to?” Blaine asks and Kurt shakes his head.

Blaine gets off him completely. “I… sorry, I wasn’t… forcing you, was I?”

Kurt shakes his head again, trying to placate Blaine. “No!” he exclaims. “Not at all. That was nice but… umm… I don’t want to ever have sex.”

Well, shit. Now that that’s out there, Blaine is gaping at him like Kurt’s just told him that he’s not allowed to ever wear bowties again.

“I… okay,” Blaine says with a nod. “May I ask why at least?”

Kurt shifts on the bed, feeling completely awkward at the entire situation. “I… I’m scared.” He pauses, not meeting Blaine’s gaze. “I don’t… It’s going to hurt, Blaine, and I don’t want to be in pain for our first time. Things aren’t meant to go… there but you’ll be inside of me and I just know it’s going to hurt.”

Kurt looks up and Blaine is smiling at him. For what, he has no idea. He frowns, thinking that Blaine isn’t taking him seriously and he tells him as such, upset at his boyfriend.

“Kurt,” Blaine starts softly. “First of all, I love you.” Kurt smiles at that, letting Blaine take his hand. “Secondly, there isn’t any kind of rule that says you have to bottom first.”

“…There isn’t?” Kurt asks and Blaine shakes his head.

“In fact, I always wanted our first time to be with you on top,” Blaine admits and Kurt’s heart thuds in his chest.

“R-really?”

Blaine nods. “Really,” he says. “Whenever I picture us having sex, I’m always on the bottom and that’s how I want our first time to be, if you’ll have me, that is?”

“Oh,” Kurt breathes and he squeezes Blaine’s hand in his own. “Yes… yes, okay.”

Blaine beams at him and Kurt feels decidedly better about the whole thing until he remembers the pain factor.

“But it’s going to hurt!” he exclaims, snatching his hand back from Blaine’s hold.

“It won’t, trust me,” Blaine says.

“How can you be so sure?”

“Ikindoffingermyself,” Blaine mumbles all at once.

“What?”

Blaine licks his lips and swallows. “I’ve… I’ve fingered myself before,” he says. “A few times. It’s nice and I… Well, I picture you doing it to me too.”

“Oh.”

Kurt falls silent, his mind automatically producing images of Blaine fingering himself, stretching himself open and moaning. He can feel his cock reacting to that image and he has to pull the pillow he’s clutching tighter onto his lap.

“So, yes, it’s definitely not going to hurt that much,” Blaine adds and Kurt nods.

“Okay,” he replies. “Well… We can definitely do that then.”

Blaine smiles and leans over to kiss Kurt softly on the lips.

~*~

The next time they’re alone, they have sex for the first time.

They fumble and stumble and Blaine falls off the bed at least once before they even get naked. Kurt is nervous. Blaine is nervous. He isn’t sure what to expect but the noises that Blaine makes when Kurt is stretching him open seem to indicate that Blaine is enjoying having Kurt’s fingers inside of him.

Blaine feels hot and tight around his fingers, and for the first time, Kurt properly lets himself imagine it being his cock. Blaine pants above him, begging for more already and Kurt complies, adding another finger.

Blaine bucks down onto his hand, throwing a leg over Kurt’s hip and scrabbling to hold him to bring him in for a kiss. Kurt kisses back, glad for the distraction, his fingers slowly stretching Blaine.

“I love you so much,” Blaine whispers against Kurt’s lips and Kurt moans, kissing him hotly.

When Blaine says that he’s ready, Kurt freaks out for a moment. He’s still worried that he’s going to hurt Blaine and before he can get lost in his thoughts again, Blaine’s kissing him softly.

“I trust you,” Blaine says, nothing but confidence in his voice.

Kurt nods and Blaine puts the condom on him, slicking him with more lube. “Just… tell me if it hurts, okay?”

Blaine nods and shifts back on the bed. There’s already a pillow under his hips and Kurt shuffles between his spread legs. He glances at Blaine once more, who nods his consent, and he pushes in slowly, like he and Blaine had discussed.

Once he’s all the way in, Kurt can’t help but marvel how good it feels. Blaine is tight around him and Kurt swears that he can feel Blaine’s heartbeat pulsing around him.

He experimentally thrusts his hips when Blaine nudges him with his foot and the groan Blaine lets out only serves to encourage Kurt more. He sets a slow but steady pace, worry still lingering in the back of his mind.

Blaine purposefully clenches around him and Kurt moans brokenly, thrusting his hips in a little faster. Blaine lets out a high whine and Kurt keeps going. He dips his head down to kiss Blaine. It’s sloppy and nothing like their usual kisses and Kurt loves it. He loves feeling Blaine around him, loves Blaine’s panting breath against his lips. He loves it all.

Kurt shifts angles, his knees getting a little sore and Blaine lets out the loudest moan Kurt has ever heard.

“Fuck, Kurt, there,” he grounds out.

Kurt moves his thrusts in again and elicits the same response from Blaine. He keeps moving, figuring that Blaine must be loving the angle or the pressure. Then he remembers that he must have hit Blaine’s prostate.

It isn’t until Blaine wraps his own hand around his leaking cock that Kurt realises how close he is. He’s surprised that he has kept it up this long. He sees the pearly white pre-come sticking to Blaine’s stomach and he snaps his hips forwards, orgasm overcoming him hard and fast.

He collapses against Blaine, breathing heavily into the crook of his neck. He is completely spent and he’s probably squashing Blaine but he cannot move right now.

Blaine eventually taps his shoulder and Kurt pulls out of Blaine and rolls off, pulling the condom off and throwing it in the bin by Blaine’s bed. Blaine’s hand is still around his own cock and he starts stroking with vigour. Kurt watches Blaine with eager eyes and Blaine comes a moment later, shooting his come onto his chest and over his hand.

Kurt moans at the sight and he shifts to kiss Blaine, his hand covering Blaine’s own to help him through the aftershocks.

Blaine’s body twitches and he removes their hands in favour of grabbing a tissue to clean himself up with.

“Wow,” Blaine says after a few moments.

“Yeah,” Kurt agrees. “That was pretty good.”

“And it didn’t hurt either.”

“Really?”

“Well, it hurt a little but it was such a good kind of hurt,” Blaine replies.

Kurt hums for a moment. “Well,” he starts. “I guess I’ll have to try it next time to see if I like it.”

Blaine beams at him and practically throws himself into Kurt’s arms, kissing his lips over and over. “It’ll be worth it, believe me.”

Kurt found that he did.


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