Title: Cooper Anderson’s Sex Masterclass
Author: Star
Rating: NC-17
Pairings/Characters: Kurt/Blaine
Word Count: 2,000+
Summary: Cooper teaches a sex master class and Blaine can’t believe how serious everyone is taking his advice.
Warnings: Cooper’s cracky sex advice.
A/N: For this prompt at the GKM. b29; Also, the porn movie titles are were taken from a website on the internet.
Disclaimer: Not mine. I just have a vivid and healthy imagination.



“You’ve been a little quiet today, everything okay?”

Blaine looked up at Kurt and nodded. “Yeah,” he replied, glancing down at his watch. “I’m just… My brother is supposed to be coming into town today and he said he’d take me out for lunch.”

“Oh,” Kurt said. “That’s nice, isn’t it?”

Blaine nodded. “Yeah.”

The hallway was suddenly abuzz with whispers. Blaine glanced up when he heard an exclamation of ‘oh my god!’ coming from down the corridor.

“Blainey!”

Blaine found himself suddenly with an armful of his older brother, Cooper. He hugged his brother back tightly before letting go.

“Is this your boyfriend?” Cooper asked, nodding in Kurt’s direction as he lifted his sunglasses off his face.

“Uh, yeah, this is Kurt, my boyfriend,” Blaine said. “Kurt, this is my brother, Cooper.”

“You’re… you’re you,” Kurt blurted out.

Cooper flashed Kurt his mega-watt grin at Kurt and nodded. “I’m me,” he repeated. “Fan of my movies?”

Blaine could see Kurt blushing furiously so he started to speak before his boyfriend could embarrass himself. “So, Coop! How long are you in town for?”

“Just a few days, squirt,” Cooper said, throwing his arm around Blaine’s shoulder.

He started talking a mile a minute about himself, his movies and his life in Hollywood. Blaine half tuned him out, more than used to Cooper’s monologues by now. He glanced back at Kurt, who was following behind them closely. His gaze was firmly locked on the back of Cooper’s head and Blaine felt a twinge of jealousy in his stomach.

Of course Kurt was going to be smitten by Cooper – everyone always was. He oozed charm and was so charismatic with every single person that he met.

Even the people who turned their nose up at the idea of Cooper doing porn movies for a living soon changed their mind when Cooper started talking to them. He just had this way about him that made absolutely everyone love him.

Just as they reached the doors to exit the school, Coach Sylvester approached them and started a lengthy triad of why Cooper should be the next Disney prince.

“Wow,” Kurt said as Coach Sylvester and Cooper walked away, their arms around each other like they had known each other forever.

“Yeah,” Blaine said with a nod. “That’s my brother…”

“He’s so… Wow.”

~*~

Blaine wasn’t entirely sure how Cooper was asked to teach a sex masterclass but he was. The entire glee club, along with a few random students, were sitting in the choir room later that afternoon, waiting for Cooper to arrive to teach the lesson.

Blaine glanced over and noticed that even Kurt had out a notebook and pen. He was already doodling something in his margins but every time Blaine leant over to see, Kurt would turn his notebook away so Blaine couldn’t see.

“Listen up, mouth breathers!” Coach Sylvester announced as she wandered into the room. “Absolutely none of you deserve to be in the presence of this god but we can all thank sweet Porcelain for having an amazing older brother–”

Blaine blinked. “Umm, he’s my brother!” he said but it went completely unheard.

“…Cooper Anderson!”

Cooper entered the room with a flourish and he crossed the room to where Coach Sylvester was. He pulled her in for a quick, but obviously passionate by the looks of it, kiss before he turned to face the rest of the room.

Blaine saw Coach Sylvester fan herself a few times before taking a seat next to the piano.

“Alright!” Cooper said enthusiastically. “Yes, I am that Cooper Anderson. Star of such movies like A Beautiful Behind, School of Cock, Ocean’s 11 inches and My Free Willy to name a few.”

Blaine grimaced and looked away. He could hear the frantic sounds of Kurt’s pencil making notes on his notepad and he just wanted to sigh.

He couldn’t believe his boyfriend, the one who, just a year ago, couldn’t watch porn because he cared too much about what the actors’ mothers thought, was now taking notes.

“Okay,” Cooper said, leaning over the back of his chair a little. “Who can tell me what the most important thing is when it comes to sex?”

“Kissing!” Rachel said immediately.

“Obviously condoms,” Quinn added.

“Foreplay!” Puck called out.

Cooper shook his head. “No,” he said. “The most important thing is the faces you make.”

Wait, was Cooper actually serious with this?

“Faces?” Rachel repeated, her pencil poised above her notebook.

“Yeah,” Cooper said, standing up. “Just think, when your boyfriend, or girlfriend, or whoever, is on top of you, they’re looking right down at you. Your face is expressing just how much you’re enjoying sex. That is the most important thing.”

“But what if you’re doing them from behind?” Puck asked.

Cooper grinned. “Faces are still important,” he replied. “Because I love when a girl looks over her shoulder at me when I’m doing her from behind.”

Blaine looked over to see Kurt frantically writing in his notebook and he bit back a frustrated noise. He couldn’t believe how seriously Kurt was taking this! It was pathetic. They’d had sex plenty of times and they both agreed what they felt was the most important thing – not faces of all things.

“Okay, now we’ve established that faces are the key element in what should happen when having sex, we should discuss sounds,” Cooper started. “Being really vocal is a good thing.

“If you want your partner to know just how much you love their cock or their pussy, you need to tell them, or they just won’t get it. Moaning is okay but words are better. Tell your partner just how hard they make you, or just how wet. It’s great to hear when having sex and believe me, it makes sex amazing.”

Blaine tried not to cringe at that piece of advice.

“Alright, alright,” Cooper said, reaching into his bag. “I wasn’t going to do this but you guys have got the basics so far, so I think we can definitely start on lesson two today.”

The choir room buzzed with chatter as Cooper pulled out little booklets for everyone, handing them around the room.

“This is something I am auditioning for after my movie hiatus,” Cooper started. “I want to try something new… something different. You guys can all help and we can practice everything we’ve learned!”

Somehow, Blaine ended up in a scene with Rachel and Tina. He wasn’t even sure how it happened but thankfully, all of their clothes were on still.

Blaine held his script in his hand and he said all of his lines (they were mostly ‘tell me how much you love my cock, baby’) in a monotonous voice.

Kurt was still taking notes and Blaine thought that Finn and Mike would be pissed that he was in a scene with their girlfriends but they both looked pretty eager to learn what Cooper had to teach.

“Oh!” Rachel said in a high voice. “Right there! Your cock feels amazing!”

Blaine winced and looked away as Rachel started making faces at him. He was going to be sick, he really was.

“Blaine!”

Blaine looked over at his brother, unimpressed.

“You’re supposed to be telling Rachel just how much you love your cock in her pussy!” Cooper exclaimed. “Now say the line.”

Blaine shot Cooper an incredulous look. “No,” he said. “This is pathetic and you know it! This is not what sex is supposed to be about. This? This is just your crappy porn training and anyone in their right mind would tell you that faces and telling someone how much you love their cock is not what makes sex good!”

Blaine threw his script down on the floor and left the room. He couldn’t get over how serious Cooper was taking it all. Sex wasn’t supposed to be like that.

Blaine could hear Cooper’s voice carrying down the hallway, talking about how ‘lube is for wimps’ before rambling on about sex toys. Blaine rubbed his temples as he headed for his car.

~*~

“Are you feeling better?”

Blaine looked up, seeing Kurt in the doorway to his room and he sighed. “Yes… No… I don’t know.”

Kurt entered the room and closed the door firmly behind him.

He joined Blaine on the bed and Blaine set his book aside.

“You don’t really believe him, do you?” Blaine asked meekly.

“Cooper?” Blaine nodded. “Yes and no…”

Blaine’s eyes widened.

“I mean… he has some good points,” Kurt continued. “Being vocal is good… Maybe not in the way he said it but I’ve always liked when you tell me how good you feel.”

Blaine smiled and leaned over to kiss Kurt.

“How do I make you feel?” Blaine asked between kisses, his hands going to the buttons on Kurt’s shirt.

Kurt smiled against his lips. “Pretty damn amazing.”

“Good,” Blaine replied, kissing Kurt deeper.

They undressed each other and Blaine cuddled into Kurt a little more, enjoying their naked bodies pressed again each other.

“You should let me ride you,” Blaine said. “So I can see what faces you make.”

Kurt snorted. “Blaine, I don’t make faces.”

Blaine smiled. “Good.”

He reached into his bedside drawer for the lubricant and condoms he kept there and squeezed a liberal amount onto Kurt’s fingers. Kurt reached behind Blaine and pushed one finger. Blaine let out a breathy sigh as Kurt's finger wriggled deeper inside of him. He pushed back into Kurt's hand, trying to get some more friction where he wanted it. Kurt leant up and kissed him again, sliding his finger in deeper as he did so. He moved the finger, stretching Blaine.

Kurt soon added another finger and Blaine automatically bucked down onto Kurt's hand. His breathing grew heavier as he felt Kurt brush his prostate. Blaine moaned and babbled incoherently for Kurt to keep going. Kurt's fingers were amazing. He always knew just where to touch Blaine to make him feel completely boneless.

Kurt removed his fingers once Blaine was stretched enough and Blaine quickly grabbed a condom and the lube to prepare Kurt. He coated Kurt's cock liberally in the lubricant before lifting himself up onto his knees. He shuffled backwards, positioning Kurt's cock at his entrance before slowly sinking himself down onto Kurt.

They both moaned loudly, Kurt's hands coming to hold onto Blaine's hips to keep him steady. Blaine covered Kurt's hands with his own as he slowly lifted off Kurt's cock, almost to the tip before slamming back down. Kurt groaned, fingers tightening on Blaine's hips.

Blaine set a steady pace, fucking himself down onto Kurt's cock. He panted heavily as he kept moving, feeling the burn in his muscles in the backs of his thighs.

Blaine leaned forward, capturing Kurt's lips in a kiss, feeling Kurt raise his knees a little behind him so he could keep fucking into Blaine. Blaine bucked down harder, feeling Kurt's cock brush his prostate with every movement.

"So close," Kurt muttered beneath Blaine.

Blaine purposefully clenched his muscles around Kurt, causing him to groan loudly.

"Fuck," Kurt panted as he kept thrusting.

Blaine took his own erection in his hand, jerking off as quickly as he could. Kurt grunted and his fingers dug into Blaine's hips again as he came hard. Blaine could feel Kurt shaking beneath him and he all but collapsed on top of Kurt as Kurt pulled him close.

Kurt's hand slipped between their bodies, fingers closing around Blaine's erection. Blaine panted heavily against Kurt's neck as he was jerked off. He felt his stomach tense and he came, coating Kurt's hand and chest in his come.

Kurt captured Blaine's lips with his own, kissing him hotly. Blaine whimpered as
Kurt's cock slipped from his body and he settled next to Kurt on the bed.

"See, that's how I like to have sex with you," Blaine said, linking his and Kurt's fingers together.

"Me too," Kurt replied, kissing Blaine again.

"You should tell Blaine how much you love his come on your body!" Cooper yelled from outside of Blaine's room.

Blaine's eyes widened as Cooper shot them a thumbs up before quickly closing Blaine's bedroom door behind him.


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