Blaine took Kurt’s hand in his, holding onto it tightly, caressing his skin, the tears streaming down his face, “Kurt, I love you, so much, don’t ever forget it.”

The sound of the heart rate machine beeped in the background as Blaine let out muffled sobs, hoping, hoping with all his heart that he wouldn’t lose him. He just couldn’t. Kurt was his best friend, his life, his love, his soul, and his husband. They’d spent years together, smiling, laughing and just living.

But now, Kurt was motionless, asleep in a hospital bed, hooked up to a heart rate monitor, his heart rate beeping steadily. Each day, Blaine would wake up, clutching Kurt’s hand tightly, hoping the day would be better than the last. But that wasn’t the case, it never was, not with this. There wasn’t any telling how long he’d have or when he’d leave. It was all just chance.

Kurt had a brain tumor, the cancer now spreading throughout his body, taking over every inch. It had appeared late last year, only small, nothing too bad. They’d thought it had been removed, but as the year went on, they found more small tumors all throughout his body. He’d started chemo that January in hopes it’d help.

It was now November and Kurt wasn’t getting any better. If anything, he was worse, far worse than Blaine knew he could handle. In all their years together, neither had ever imagined it would happen. Sometimes as Blaine sat in the hospital, watching Kurt sleep, he wondered why, why it had to happen.

As Kurt’s eyes fluttered open, he groaned, turning to face Blaine, his face pale, his eyes, their usual blue, almost faded, sunk with dark bags underneath. His once soft pink lips, now a light pink, chapped. The look on his face, it’s usual smile, a dreamy look Blaine had loved, and a now vulnerable, worried, solemn look of sheer terror.

Caressing Kurt’s hand softly, Blaine just looked and smiled, knowing that even like this, Kurt was still beautiful, still the only one he could ever be with. His heart was breaking each day, praying, praying to God that Kurt would make it through. He couldn’t be upset; he couldn’t show Kurt he was scared. He had to be strong, for him.

A short breath left Kurt’s mouth, before a small whimper escaped, as his face was green, pale. Blaine whipped around, snatching the bucket from the floor, holding it under Kurt’s mouth. Groaning Kurt threw up into the bucket, his pale color fading even more as his breath quickened. As Blaine put the bucket back down on the ground, he reached for the towel hanging on the chair, wiping Kurt’s mouth gently.

He knew how much Kurt hated throwing up, how much energy it took from his body. He could see it in his eyes as he gently laid his head back down, whimpering softly. A smile only given to Kurt, Blaine looked up at his husband, with that look, that look of love he’d only had for him. Nothing was going to keep Blaine from staying with Kurt.

“I’m sorry Blaine.” Kurt stated softly, his breath raspy.

Blaine just shook his head, “Don’t ever be sorry baby, don’t ever be sorry. I’m not going anywhere.”

“You have to deal with my mood swings, my throwing up. I can see what it’s doing to you.”

“Kurt, look at me.” Kurt moved his head ever so slightly, the blue, meeting hazel, listening, “I will deal with whatever you put me through as long as I get to be with you.”

Light tears fell down Kurt’s face as he couldn’t take his gaze away from Blaine, “You’re my miracle. Have I ever told you that?”

Blaine smiled, leaning forward, placing a kiss on Kurt’s forehead, “Oh honey.”

Kurt clenched Blaine’s hand in his, bringing it up to his heart, letting the tears escape, now flowing down his face, their warmth heating up his face, making him cringe. He was starting to feel worse. A soft groan left through his lips as he whimpered, his face green once again.

Within less than a second, Blaine had the bucket underneath Kurt’s mouth, the contents of his husband’s stomach, spewed into the bucket. The towel wiped his lips, before being placed back on the couch. As Blaine watched Kurt curl up into his hand, he saw a nurse pop in, changing the bucket and towel.

Nodding Blaine smiled at her, before turning his attention straight back to Kurt, “I’m so proud of you baby, so proud. You’re doing to so well. Dealing with all this medicine, all this torture, you’re my hero and I love you.”

“I love you too Blaine.”

Later that afternoon, after Kurt had received his dose of medicine for the day, he was sitting up, holding the bucket under his chin, every once in a while throwing up. When he wasn’t he was either dry heaving or whimpering, wishing it would all just stop. It wasn’t fair, he just wanted it to all disappear.

Blaine stayed by his side the entire time, running hand fingers along Kurt’s, occasionally kissing Kurt’s forehead. His hand caressed Kurt’s baldhead, gently massaging it, trying to calm him down. He could sense the tension and fear in Kurt’s eyes, his movements and his heart.

As Kurt puked into the bucket for a sixth time that day he choked, “How is there anything else to throw up?!”

Trying to calm him down, Blaine pushed Kurt over on the bed slightly, climbing in next to him, whispering softly in his ear, “You’ll be okay baby, you’ll be okay. I love you.”

Kurt let his head fall onto Blaine’s shoulder, whimpering, staring off into the distance, his breathing calm, his face no longer so green, his grip on Blaine’s hand, almost heart shattering. Feeling the death grip, Blaine knew, he knew it would be soon. He could feel it in his heart. These were Kurt’s last few moments, the last few hours he’d spend with his husband.

Whispering softly in his ear, Blaine began to sing softly, gently stroking Kurt’s hand,

Make of our hands one hand,
Make of our hearts one heart,
Make of our vows one last vow,
Only death will part us.

Kurt shifted in Blaine’s embrace, curling up closer to him as they shifted, lying on the bed, Kurt’s head resting perfectly on Blaine’s, his hand clutching Blaine’s shirt tightly, as if he was fearing for his life, fearing for the moment he’d lose Blaine.

Make of our lives one life
Day after day one life
Now it begins,
Now it starts,
One hand one heart
Even death won’t part us now

Tears falling down Blaine’s face, he wiped them away quickly. Kurt couldn’t see him cry, he couldn’t. He had to be strong; he had to be strong for his baby, showing him that the two of them could make it together, no matter what happened, no matter how quickly Kurt left the world.

As Blaine pulled Kurt close to him, holding on tight, he heard his husband mutter softly, “I love you Blaine, always and forever.”

Tears fell, his face now covered, his nose red, his eyes were starting to hurt. These moments were the ones he treasured, just being able to hold Kurt, close against his chest, in a hope he’d have him forever, a forever he’d always needed, a forever he’d always dreamed of, the forever they wanted together.

Blaine let his head rest on Kurt’s, taking deep breaths, letting the tears stream down his face as he listened softly to the beeping of the heart rate monitor, hoping to whoever was up there, that Kurt would live. He was being selfish and he knew that, but Kurt was his life. He was there when no one else was, he always knew how to make him smile, laugh and just feel special. Without him Blaine was nothing.

Pressing a soft kiss to Kurt’s baldhead, he whispered, “I love you Kurt, so much.”

Not a moment later, the beeping stopped, flat lining. A loud gasp left Blaine’s mouth, as he tried to breathe, holding on tightly to Kurt, pressing him directly up against his chest, whimpering, begging for him to come back, “Kurt, please, wake up. Kurt! KURT! PLEASE BABY PLEASE!”

Tears fell, flooding his view as he screamed out, wondering why he had to lose him. As he sniffled, trying to gain composure, he knew he was kidding himself. Who was he without Kurt? He was no one, nothing. There wasn’t any reason to live anymore; Kurt was his life.

As the nurse came in, trying to pry Blaine from Kurt’s grip, Blaine cried harder, screaming at the top of his lungs, slapping the nurse away. She stepped back, looking over at Blaine, her eyes full of hurt, wishing she could have helped. Watching him for a moment, she sighed, “I’m sorry honey, but you need to let go.”

“NO!” He let out a glass shattering scream, linking Kurt’s hand in his, and holding on for dear life.

She grabbed Blaine’s arms trying to pry him off, but he kept hitting her, slapping her. He needed to stay with Kurt. No one was going to keep them apart, especially not this nurse. She sighed, gesturing for Kurt’s doctor to enter. A soft frown fell across his lips as he looked over at Blaine, staring to speak.

Blaine shook his head, stating two words very clearly, “Kill me.”

The doctor’s eyes lit up, his mouth opening, gasping, “What?”

“Kill me.”

Shaking his head the doctor responded, “No. I won’t.”

“Kill me. I need to be with Kurt. Kill me. Please.”

The doctor shook his head once again. Blaine’s eyes filled with tears, looking down at Kurt, his whole life had just broken apart in front of him, his best friend, passed away on his chest. His last words telling Blaine just how much he loved him had set him over the edge, knowing now that all he ever needed was to stay with Kurt, as Kurt had said, always and forever.

“Kill me.”

The doctor looked over at Blaine and down at Kurt. Sighing softly, he nodded, gesturing to the nurse. She left the room, coming back with a needle in her hand. Blaine shifted his body, curling up against Kurt, holding onto him tightly. Looking up at the doctor he simply nodded, “Thank you.”

Within a few short moments, Blaine Anderson-Hummel closed his eyes, disappearing from the world, holding his husband Kurt in his arms. Holding on tightly to him, their fingers interlaced, he knew they’d be together, together in heaven, together, where they belonged, always and forever.