Oct. 2, 2011, 12:09 p.m.
Apologize Before You Speak
Finn is having some issues with Blaine being in New Directions and the two get in a fight, ending with Finn saying some pretty nasty stuff. Written after 3x01
T - Words: 3,144 - Last Updated: Oct 02, 2011 2,481 0 6 10 Categories: Angst, Characters: Artie Abrams, Blaine Anderson, Finn Hudson, Kurt Hummel, Mike Chang, Tags: friendship, hurt/comfort,
Blaine wasn’t even sure what he had done wrong. They had all gotten along pretty well the previous year and the few times they hung out over the summer, so Blaine really didn’t understand why now, all of the sudden, he was getting fought. Nothing was different besides that he was on their team now. He wasn’t a competitor. He thought that’d help his cause, but apparently not.
And sure, Blaine was getting on well with everyone else, the girls in particular. Mike too, the two would geek out over different things like Harry Potter and video games (Artie and Puck frequently joined in the game nights). And sure, at first all the guys had been unsure of Blaine but after about a week everything had turned out alright. The only one giving Blaine any trouble was Finn.
Blaine glanced around the choir room, trying to look anywhere but the tall boy, when Mr. Shue appeared. With a bright “Hey guys!” he waltzed through the door, rifling through his bag. “I heard the girls are gonna be a little late today?” The boys nodded “I can’t wait to see what that’s about.” He grinned, pulling out a sheet of paper that looked like a check list. “Oh, and Blaine. I really do need that permission slip for sectionals. I can’t book a bus until I get it from everyone.”
“Ok. I’m sorry, Mr. Shue.” Blaine said shortly, not wanting to elaborate on why he couldn’t get his parents to sign the sheet.
“It’s alright, just try not to forget again.”
Blaine nodded but stopped short when Finn snorted. Mr. Shue seemed to notice too and glanced at the teen. “Is there a problem, Finn?”
“No. No problem.” Even as he said it he gave Blaine a harsh glance.
“Really. Because it seems like you have a problem.” Blaine responded calmly when Finn didn’t break the glance.
“Really? Does it?” Finn snarled, surprising everyone in the room.
“Finn, if you’ve got something to say just say it.”
“Oh, I’ve got a lot of things to say.”
“If I did something wrong would you please just tell me so we can move past whatever problem you’ve got?”
“Problem I’ve got? I’m the one with the problem?”
“Yes. I’ve been nothing but friendly. Unless I unknowingly did something-”
“I just don’t think it’s a good idea to have competition on our team. It didn’t work out in the past.” Finn said, crossing his arms and turning back to Mr. Shue. “He’s going to try and let Dalton win. I mean, why else would he keep ‘forgetting’ his permission slip?”
Blaine’s jaw dropped, and everyone else in the room looked surprised. “You honestly think I would do that?” Blaine asked, and Finn just nodded, “Finn, I’ve transferred here. I’m on this team now. Why do you have such a problem with that?”
“You’re from a different world man. You don’t understand this place.”
“What?” Blaine asked, glancing to the other boys, “What does that even mean?”
“You’re rich, your mom and dad buy you whatever you want, your life is perfect. The only reason you transferred is to get in Kurt’s pants.”
“Excuse me?” Blaine asked, eyes narrowing.
“You private school boys are all the same. You think you’re better than us because you went to some swanky school and now you’re gonna come here and take all the solos.”
Blaine had no idea when this had taken such a bad turn, but he felt completely attacked and no one was coming to his aid (mainly because they all looked so surprised by Finn’s words, he noted). “Is that a joke?”
“We don’t like people who hog the spot light here.” Finn said, as if elaborating to a small child.
“Coming from the guy who gets the most solos out of the group.” Blaine shot back, sick of being persecuted, “Tell me, Artie? When’s the last time you got a solo for a performance? Mike? Puck?”
“Don’t try to take them onto your side!” Finn cried, standing up, towering over Blaine even as he stood too.
“What side? We’re all on the same team here!” Blaine wasn’t sure when they had started yelling.
“Guys!” Mr. Shue yelled, finally intervening and trying to gain control, but Finn wanted to get his last word in.
“The only reason you’re here is because you want in Kurt’s pants.” Finn repeated, “You’re not a part of this team. You’re not one of us. You don’t belong here. We don’t need some richy rich attention whore to waste all our time. Why don’t you just run back to your rich little life in Westerville and get out of here?”
The shorter boy froze, heart stuck.
You’re not one of us.
Blaine thought maybe he could get through his fears and survive public school once again with the support of his boyfriend and who he thought were his new friends. But clearly he’d be getting no support from these guys. It was like Westerville High all over again. Sadie Hawkins was bound to repeat itself.
You don’t belong here.
All Blaine had ever wanted to do was belong. He never belonged at Westerville, he never belonged at home, why should he belong here? He thought maybe being with the love of his life would fix everything. But nothing had changed. He was still a fuck up. He was still unwanted.
“I’m sorry. I was under the impression we’d all become friends over the summer. That was clearly my mistake.” Blaine snatched his bag up off the floor and headed for the door.
“Blaine, wait-” Mr. Shue started.
“I apologize for the late permission form, Mr. Shue.” Blaine said, all manners and poise – his emotionless shield up and fully functional. “The reason is my parents have been out of the country and I don’t know when they’ll be home. I’ve tried to fax the form to them but have received no answer. I do not mean to hold you all up – though I guess maybe it’s not a problem since I’m not wanted here.”
“Blaine.” Mr. Shue, as well Artie, Puck, and Mike said, worry on their faces.
“You can book your bus. I won’t be here to hold New Directions back with my being an attention whore. Good luck.” And with that Blaine swept out of the room.
00
Blaine was willing to admit he cried a bit, probably more than most boys. He had a lot to cry about at home. But lately things had been good. He honestly couldn’t remember the last time he cried, but right now he could feel tears prickling at his eyes as he found himself breaking into a run down the unfamiliar halls.
“Fuck this. Fuck them. Fuck everything.” Blaine mumbled under his breath, allowing himself to be vulgar. He’d rather be angry than upset.
Crying is for pussies. He could hear his father’s voice in his head. Men get angry, little faggots just cry.
He wasn’t sure when he’d ended up outside, but soon he found himself staring at his ’59 Chevy. “They’re right. You’re just some rich little attention whore. Why’d you even leave Dalton? You don’t belong here. You don’t belong anywhere.” He snarled at his reflection in the window. He opened his car door, threw himself into the front seat and suddenly the tears came flowing.
“God damn it!” He yelled, punching the car horn.
We don’t need some richy rich attention whore to waste all our time.
Attention whore…was he an attention whore? Kurt had told him something similar the previous year, but he’d changed since then. He and Kurt sang together, Blaine had backed off. He was more than happy singing back up with New Directions and maybe getting a solo now and then. He was fine with that. As long as he was with Kurt he was fine. Not to mention, New Directions’ performances were fun. Whether backup or soloist, Blaine was having the time of his life. Yeah, he’d performed in the middle of the courtyard (twice) but that wasn’t that bad…right?
You’re rich, your mom and dad buy you whatever you want, your life is perfect.
Ha. Yeah. His life was perfect. If by perfect Finn meant that his father can’t stand the sight of him and he hadn’t seen his mother since last Thanksgiving. At Dalton it had been easy; he was at his dorm all the time so he didn’t have to think about missing his parents. But now that he was at McKinley and living at home again he was in the huge, empty house all the time. All he could think about was that his mom would rather be in the Philippines and maybe call him once every few weeks than at home with her son. And his father? Don’t even get him started on his father. His dad was always away on business. And if he wasn’t he couldn’t stand Blaine’s presence. He hadn’t seen his dad since mid-July. He wasn’t even sure when he was coming back. His parents didn’t care about him. Hell they didn’t even answer his phone calls, emails, and texts regarding transferring. They either didn’t notice or didn’t care. Top all that off with the anxiety of starting at a new school where the bullying of gay kids was rampant?
Yeah, his life was really fucking perfect.
With a strangled sob Blaine slammed his head into the steering wheel. He wasn’t sure how long he’d sat there. He heard his phone go off a bunch of times, and he even heard it ring at one point, but he just ignored it. Resting his head against the steering wheel, he willed himself to calm down. He willed himself to turn on the car, drive off into the distance, and never come back.
But a knock at the window made him nearly jump out of his skin.
“Blaine!” Mike called through the glass; Blaine could see Artie behind him. Swearing, he wiped off his face and rolled down the window.
“Hey guys.” He said, internally cursing how wet his voice sounded. He sniffled to himself.
“Blaine, listen. Finn…”
“He was completely, totally, utterly out of line.” Artie cut in.
Blaine laughed slightly, looking away and cursing how he sounded like he’d clearly be crying pretty hard. “Seriously,” Mike said, “We don’t know what the hell his problem is but we’re not ok with it.”
Blaine smiled, “Thanks guys, but clearly this isn’t working. I should just go back to-”
“Don’t say Dalton, Blaine. We know you’re happy here, despite Finn’s ass-hattery. Kurt’s happy too. We’ve never seen him happier. Don’t let Finn’s struggle to be the alpha male turn you away.”
Blaine sighed, running his hands over his face. Sniffing loudly again he said, “Just…what he said…”
“Blaine, please, don’t take it personally.”
“How could I not?” He laughed humorously, “He’s right. I’m an attention whore who wants nothing but to fuck Kurt and let the Warblers beat us.” Blaine snarled, glaring at his reflection in the rear-view mirror. “And, also, since my family has money that makes my life perfect too. The money totally makes up for the fact that my dad would rather I be dead than be gay or that I haven’t seen my mom since Thanksgi-” Blaine stopped himself, suddenly realizing what he was saying and who he was saying it to. He felt his face heat up as humiliation flowed over him.
“Blaine.” Mike said quietly, horror evident on both his and Artie’s faces. “Blaine, wha-”
“Please. Please don’t say anything.” He whispered, hiding his face in his hands.
“Blaine,” Mike bent over, leaning into the window. “Blaine, is it…is it that bad?”
“Please Mike, just drop it.”
“Blaine.”
“Mike.”
With a deep sigh, Mike straightened up. “Does Kurt know?”
“Kurt…knows I don’t have a good relationship with my parents.”
“Does he know you’re home alone?” Artie asked.
“He knows enough.” Blaine sighed deeply. “Can we just drop this, please?”
Artie and Mike exchanged a look, before Mike said, “Only if you come back to the choir room with us.”
Blaine bit his lip, “I don’t know-”
“Blaine. You’re awesome. There’s no way we’re letting you quit.” Artie smiled, “And not just that. You’re our friend too.”
Blaine felt his chest constrict, happiness flowing through him. “But…what about Finn?”
“He may have been our friend first but he’s being a complete dick right now. We’ve got your back.”
Blaine felt a sob bubbling up but he quickly swallowed it. Wiping off his face one last time he sniffled, got out of the car, and looked at his two new friends. “Thank you, guys…seriously.” He gave them teary smile.
“Aw, none of that now!” Artie cried, causing Blaine to laugh again. “I’m pretty sure the girls are ripping Finn a new one right now anyway.”
Blaine’s eyes widened, “What? Why?”
“Because they got there right as we were going out to find you. We could hear Puck starting to give them an in-detail recap of all that Finn said. We’re pretty sure the yell we heard from down the hall was Kurt’s. He doesn’t sound pleased.”
Blaine shook his head, “Guys. I don’t…I don’t want to start fights or cause a rift in the group.”
“You’re not the one causing rifts, Blaine. Don’t worry about it.” Mike grabbed his arm and started off. “Now come on, let’s go tell Mr. Shue you’re not quitting.”
00
“I am so sick and tired of your bullshit, Finn!”
“Kurt-”
“Just because a new boy came around you act like a territorial dog!”
“I did not!”
“You talk all this shit about ‘being a family’ and ‘supporting each other’ – well, how the hell am I supposed to support you when you won’t support me!”
“I support you!”
“You just caused the love of my life to run out of the room and quit the club because you’re a giant fuck face!”
“GUYS!” Mr. Shue’s voice rang through the shrill screams of one Kurt Hummel. Blaine hesitated outside the room, Mike and Artie gave him encouraging looks as they stepped in the door, but he wasn’t sure. “Guys, this is not the way to handle things-”
“Blaine quit, Mr. Shue. He quit because Finn is an asshole. A giant hypocritical asshole who is so insecure he needs to cut down anyone who might be better than he is!”
“I am not!”
“You probably don’t even know half the words I just said!”
“Guys, calm down, we can talk-”
“No. We can’t talk. Finn did enough talking. Enough insulting, and yelling, and shitty-”
“Kurt, language-”
“Well I’m sorry that I’m just a little miffed, Mr. Shue, that Finn just was unnecessarily cruel to my boyfriend and made him quit-!”
�“I’m not quitting.” Blaine said quietly, stepping into the room.
“Blaine!” Kurt said, looking clearly relived, but also upset. Blaine wondered how obvious it was that he’d been sobbing just moments before.
“I’m not going to quit – Artie and Mike convinced me otherwise.” Blaine gave a slight smile to the two, who also received smiles from the girls. “But I do want to say this.” He turned to the tallest boy in the room, Finn looked extremely uncomfortable. “Finn. I don’t know why you have such an issue with me, but what you said is not ok. It’s not ok for you to just dump your crap on someone else, to personally attack me for no reason. You don’t know about my personal life, or how I feel for Kurt. If you feel threatened, just tell me. I have no plans of stealing all your solos. I’m just here to be with Kurt and have fun. And this…this isn’t really fun. If this problem between the two of us if going to continue…my point is your words hurt and I don’t forgive you for them. But I’m willing to act like an adult here – as I have been – and look past it for now. You are my boyfriend’s brother, after all. And an important part of this club. All I ask is that you return the favor and at least act civilly towards me.” Blaine took a deep breath. “There. I said what I wanted to say.”
Without a word Kurt stepped over to his boyfriend and wrapped his arms around him. Blaine latched onto him immediately, hugging him tight. “We can talk about this later.” Kurt whispered, rubbing his back comfortingly before breaking apart.
Kurt turned back to Finn, “Blaine may be mature and overlook this but I’m not. You can bet your ass Carole and dad are hearing about this.” Finn paled at that.
“Now, uh, if you don’t mind, I think I’m going to go home.” Blaine said awkwardly stepping towards the door.
“Blaine, wait.” Finn started, “Listen…I just…I’m sorry.” He finished lamely.
Blaine shrugged, “Sometimes that’s not enough.” He turned to the rest of the club. “See you guys tomorrow.” As he walked out the door, Kurt flanked at his side, he could hear the girls of the glee club throwing in their two cents at Finn.
“I can’t believe you all reacted like that.” Blaine said, running his fist under his nose.
Kurt gave him an odd look, “What do you mean?” He asked as he wrapped his arm around the shorter boy’s shoulder.
“Just…you all…turned on him.”
Kurt raised an eyebrow, “Turned on him? We didn’t turn on him. We were just calling him on his shit.”
“For me.”
Kurt squinted, “Yes, for you. Who else for? He didn’t blow up at anyone else.” Blaine just shook his head. He felt tears bubbling up again and holy crap when did he become this emotional?
“You guys really like me, then.”
Kurt snorted, “Well of course we like you, what’s not to like?” He grinned brightly, but when Blaine didn’t smile back Kurt nudged him a little. “You going to be ok?”
“Yeah,” Blaine smiled, “Yeah, I think I’ll be alright.” He did have friends who had his back now, after all.�
Comments
Loved it :)
MOAR? Sequel? New chapter? Pleeeeaaaaassssssse? Pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease? Pretty please? With a klainebow on top?
Oh poor Blainers. This entire fic I just wanted to wrap him up in my arms and give him a hug. Plus, I love that you didn't have Kurt be the one to find him. I mean that would have been awesome, but it was so much more powerful to your message that Artie and Mike went to find him. And I think this is now officially my head!canon for Finn's butthurt in the first episode. He was being a jackass for no reason, and I think it was both the Jesse flashbacks and jealous. But this is how it played out. Also, the Bike Chanderson. :D I love that bromance and I am way more on board with it than I should be but it's epic and I hope it becomes canon.
OMG CREYS!! I just wanted to hug the shit outta Blaine!! And I love me some sassy Kurt! Good job!
Okay, I always take pride in being able to keep it together during stories, but then people throw in those cute little "It's okay" moments, and I just die all over the place... ugh.... But dude. DUDE. I loved so hard when Kurt was like, "I'm not going to be mature and overlook this. At all." UGH, I LOVE HIM SO HARD! Like, admittedly, I'm a spaz when it come to Blaine whump or angst of any kind, but like... Kurt? Yeah, I really love Kurt. This one time someone in some story had Kurt refer to Blaine's home life as "unsatisfactory" after he found out he was abused and was relaying the info to Burt, and ever since then, I'm pretty sure Kurt has been my favorite ever. Of any category. If you asked me what my favorite movie was, I'd be like "Kurt Hummel" (But then I'd say How To Train Your Dragon because, seriously? Best movie ever, I don't care who you are. It's the most lovable thing to ever happen since the beginning of time itself.) Okay, sorry, I ramble and admittedly resemble a puppy when left to my own devices. Not proud... I LOVE EVERYONE SIDING WITH BLAINE! HECK YES! Also, I love Artie and Mike being the ones to find Blaine. Mmmm. See, obviously, Klaine soaks up a good bit of my heart, but I can't actually MARRY either of them cause they're taken and gay, so that part of my heart devoted to like, lust and crap? All for Artie and Mike. Mostly Artie... don't' judge. BUT YAY! THEY WERE SO CUTE, AND YOU WROTE THEM SO WELL AND I LOVE YOU SO HARD, YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW! I especially love them being like "Wait, that's how bad it is?!" CUTE! And the whole part with Blaine being like "drop it" and Mike continuing to press? YES! Lovely job! You're my favorite thing to ever happen, thank you very much.
Stupid Finn and his being stupid...