Kurt sees the brown box, with the cartoon vampire on front, headed for their cart, and says, “No, Blaine,” before it even gets there.

“But, Kurt…”

“Blaine! We’re only buying healthy food today. No sweets.”

“But, it’s cereal,” Blaine argues, showing Kurt the box in case he was mistaken. “Cereal is healthy.”

“Not Count Chocula, Blaine. Put it back.”

“No fair,” Blaine whines, but in that cute way that usually wins arguments. “You got to pick out a box of cereal.”

“I’m buying Wheaties,” Kurt says, gesturing to the orange box in disgust. It’s not his favorite cereal, but he feels it’s the smart choice, so he buys it anyway. “It’s one of the healthiest cereals on the market. It’s what my dad’s doctor tells him to eat. It’s full of whole grains, vitamins, and minerals.”

“Count Chocula has vitamins and minerals.”

“A-ha” - Kurt crosses his arms over his chest - “and what are the ingredients in Count Chocula?”

Blaine scans the nutrition information on the side of the box. “Ah! The first ingredient is whole grain corn!” he says triumphantly.

“Mmmhmm” - Kurt nods - “Keep going.”

Blaine looks sheepishly down at the box even though he doesn’t have to. He was hoping that would win his argument for him. He knows exactly what the next ingredient in Count Chocula is. It used to be the first.

“Sugar,” he says quietly.

“Yup,” Kurt says. “Sugar.” Kurt grabs a box of Count Chocula off the shelf next to him and keeps reading. “And corn meal, marshmallows, corn syrup…Blaine! This isn’t a breakfast cereal. It’s a gateway drug to diabetes! Plus, it’s $4.85!”

“The cereal you’re buying is over five bucks!”

“Yeah, but my box of cereal is twice the size, and besides, it’s healthy! Healthy food is necessary, and therefore worth paying the higher price.” Kurt juts a hand in the direction of Blaine’s cereal. “$4.85 is highway robbery for a food that’s mostly sugar. I can buy a bag of sugar for $2.” Kurt returns the box to the shelf, expecting Blaine to do the same.

Blaine holds his box of cereal protectively, unwilling to give it up. “But, Kurt…”

“Put it back,” Kurt says with a smidge of sympathy. “Pick something else. Pick something healthy.”

“I don’t want something else,” Blaine mutters, returning his box of cereal to the shelf. Blaine peruses the contents of their cart – all uber-healthy foods, fruits and vegetables, but nothing fun. That’s because Kurt picks out the food. Kurt does all of the shopping. Everything in their fridge and in their cabinets was put there by Kurt. But Blaine has to give Kurt credit. Because of his carefully planned menus, Blaine was finally able to shed those last five pounds…and keep them off. But he doesn’t think that one little box of cereal will ruin all of his hard work, especially when it would currently be the least expensive item in the shopping cart.

But Kurt told him to pick out something else. Pick out something healthy. Because it doesn’t matter what the food costs, apparently, as long as it’s healthy. Which means he could get a $5 box of Special K…a $5.50 box of steel cut oatmeal…even an $8 box of granola.

Blaine looks at the grinning face of Count Chocula, only $4.85 a box, banished to remain on its shelf at the store beside all of these other, higher priced, healthier cereals that Kurt would certainly approve of him choosing…and suddenly gets a genius idea.

***

“Here,” Blaine says, proudly presenting Kurt with his first contribution to their healthy eating crusade. Kurt looks up from his shopping list and picks up the bag Blaine put in the cart.

“Goji berries?”

“Yeah. Sam turned me on to them.”

Kurt raises an unamused brow, and Blaine redacts.

“Uh, bad choice of words. Anyway, they’re supposed to be a super food or something. He eats them exclusively when he exercises, and you’ve seen his stomach.”

“Not lately,” Kurt says, scathing brow inching higher. “But I’ve heard of these,” Kurt continues, trying to get off the subject of Sam’s six-pack abs. “They’re usually pretty pricey.” Kurt turns the bag over and chokes when he gets sight of the tag. “Blaine! These are $28!”

Blaine peeks at the bag. “Yeah,” he concurs.

“This is only a one pound bag!”

“But, they’re organic.” Blaine points to the word organic printed over the word goji.

Kurt shakes his head. “Blueberries are just as good, and about a tenth of the price.” He hands the bag of goji berries back to his fiancé and shoos him away. “Put these back and find some dried blueberries. Good first try, though.”

***

“Blaine? What is this?” Kurt asks, holding up an octagonal jar of clouded yellow goop.

“That’s honey, honey,” Blaine shoots back with a wink.

“Correction,” Kurt says, only mildly affected by his fiancé’s dorky humor. “It’s Raw Manuka Honey, and it’s $18 a jar!”

“But, raw honey is healthier than processed honey,” Blaine points out.

“Where did you hear that?”

“It says so on the label.”

Kurt rolls his eyes. “Even if that’s true, it’s ludicrous to pay $18 for a jar of bee vomit when you can get one of those squeezie bears for less than half the price. Honey is honey.”

“I beg to differ, honey,” Blaine jokes.

“Urgh!” Kurt growls, but with a smile on his face. “Put this back and get one of those bears.”

“Sure thing,” Blaine says, taking the jar “…honey.”

***

“Blaine, what the…” Kurt reaches into their cart and pulls out a long cylinder filled with shells. “Escargot? When did you start eating escargot?”

“Well, never,” Blaine admits. “But I’ve heard it’s good. It’s rich in iron, vitamin E, and magnesium. Plus, they’re virtually fat free (all of which he discovered by doing a quick Google search using his iPhone). And aren’t you supposed to be the French chef extraordinaire? Escargot is a traditional French appetizer.”

Kurt puffs out his chest. “I am. But I’m not preparing snails. Especially not at…good Lord! $25 a container! There’s half-a-dozen snails in here! That’s, like, $4 a snail!”

“But they come with the shells. That doesn’t sound too unreasonable.”

“It is when you can go outside and step on all the snails you want for free!” Kurt thrusts the cylinder at Blaine, shuddering when the shells clamor together and make a dull noise, like dry bones. “Put these back…and hide them.”

***

Kurt sighs as he picks up the miniscule can that he’s just watched Blaine deposit into their cart.

“Why?” is all he asks, a little irritated when his fiancé simply shrugs.

“I don’t know,” Blaine says. “I’ve just always wanted to try it.”

“Caviar?”

“Yeah.” Blaine watches as Kurt examines the can. “The other day you were saying that we should eat more fish, but you don’t eat fish because you don’t like the smell. But this comes from fish, so it might be a good alternative, right? So, I thought, why not?”

Kurt turns the can upside down and his eyes shoot open wide. He flips the can towards his fiancé and shows him the price tag.

“I’ll give you thirty reasons why not!”

“Kurt! You said I could help you choose food as long as it was healthy. But you’re not letting me get anything!”

“Because everything you pick out is ridiculous…and expensive!”

“I thought the price didn’t matter as long as we were buying healthy food,” Blaine says, trying not to sound sarcastic. Kurt watches Blaine run a finger over the handle of the shopping cart, tracing the name of the store on the plastic. “I did pick out one thing that wasn’t too expensive…all things considered…”

Kurt sighs. He finally gets it. Yeah, eating healthy is important, especially after what overindulging did to Blaine’s waistline…and his self-esteem. Kurt doesn’t want to see his fiancé go through that again. Not when he can help. But maybe he is being a little tight-fisted with the menu. If Blaine indulges a teeny bit, all he’d really need to do is exercise more to balance things out…and Kurt can think of a few things they could do together to burn off the extra calories.

“Do you really want to get that cereal?” Kurt asks.

“Yes,” Blaine pouts.

“Fine” – Kurt loops his arms around Blaine’s neck and kisses him on the forehead – “go get it.”

“Really?” Blaine asks, eyes lighting up.

“Really,” Kurt says, with just a touch of frustration at himself for caving, against his better judgment, to the adorableness that is Blaine Anderson. “Go get your super sugary cereal. You have my blessing.”

“Yes,” Blaine cheers. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

Blaine starts down the aisle when something in their cart, something he hadn’t seen, catches his eye. It’s all the way at the bottom, beneath a head of Romaine lettuce and a few bundles of spinach. He moves things aside to get to it, gasping when he sees the plastic container, and then its contents.

“Kurt! You’re buying a cheesecake!” Blaine exclaims.

“Yup,” Kurt replies, completely unashamed.

“But, that’s a sweet. And…” Blaine looks back at the label. “It’s $15!”

“Yes, but like all of the other food I picked out, it’s a necessity.”

“How is it a necessity?” Blaine asks, hands on hips while he stares at Kurt, astounded.

“It’s a necessity” – Kurt pushes the cart forward to get to his fiancé, then gives him a peck on the nose – “when I have to put up with you.”

Blaine smirks. “But, you love me, right?”

“Of course, I love you,” Kurt says, deciding to walk along with Blaine to the cereal aisle, “that’s why you get a slice.”

“Just one?” Blaine asks, sliding his arm under Kurt’s so they can walk close together.

“Just one,” Kurt says. “Maybe two if they’re small.”