Kurt mentally flicked through his wardrobe as he rode the elevator up to the twelfth floor of his dorm building on his way back from class. Tonight was his date with Derek, a third date, which for Kurt had begun to be synonymous with sex. If he could stand to get through three dates with one guy, he liked to give them a test ride, not that many guys made it past the first date—he wasn’t just throwing himself around.

Derek was a really great guy, something surprising from a Stern student, which seemed to turn out more jackasses than the rest of NYU’s illustrious schools. Handsome, clean-cut, and a little taller than Kurt was used to being attracted to, at least since the whole Finn debacle. Kurt shuddered at the memory of his vaguely incestuous crush. Luckily, it had mostly dissipated by the time their parents were married, and was completely shot to hell when Kurt discovered that Finn had a nasty (and he did mean nasty) habit of not showering after most of his football practices. Ew. He could not continue with that line of thought when he should be planning the perfect outfit for his evening.

Boots. Which boots would work best with his new Rag & Bone waistcoat and his favorite skinny jeans? He was just deciding between his classic knee-high Docs and his pair of gorgeous Thomas Engel Hart ankle boots as he slipped through the door and into his dorm room, when he found himself slammed back against the wood, a hot, wet mouth pressed firmly against his.

The solid body of his roommate pinned him back against their door and Kurt couldn’t help the low whine at feeling the other man’s hard cock rubbing against his hip. Broad hands stroked down Kurt’s sides, sliding over his ass and grabbed.

“Blaine,” Kurt moaned, fingers clutching Blaine’s naked shoulders as he ground their cocks together. Blaine’s mouth found his again, kissing him hard, tongue fucking into Kurt’s mouth, takingtakingtaking and wanting so much more.

Blaine licked down Kurt’s jaw, lips sliding over his sensitive neck and he couldn’t help arching into the touch, his cock seeking more friction as it grew harder in his jeans.

The metallic sound of his zipper being torn down brought Kurt back to reality and his eyes slid open for a moment to glance at the clock between their beds, 6:20. He had forty minutes before Derek would be arriving.

“Blaine,” Kurt panted while Blaine sucked along his collarbone, “No time. D-date in forty minutes.”

Blaine’s teeth scraped hard over Kurt’s collarbone, nipping at the thin skin before he started sucking harder at his neck. Kurt sagged into Blaine’s touch, tipping his head to the side to offer up more skin as Blaine’s hands circled around Kurt’s wrists, drawing them up and pinning them against the door and Kurt couldn’t help the low groan that escaped his throat as Blaine rocked his hips harshly into Kurt’s.

“You’re so hot like this,” Blaine growled, his breath puffing out across Kurt’s spit-slick shoulder.

“Blaine,” Kurt whined. “I need to get ready.”

Blaine hummed against Kurt’s skin, keeping his hands above their heads. He dropped one hand down to undo the buttons of Kurt’s shirt, licking over every new inch of exposed skin.

“Do you, now?” Blaine asked as he sucked a pebbled nipple into his mouth.

“Y-yes. I need.” Kurt paused to moan brokenly as Blaine’s hand finished undoing his shirt and reached into his open jeans to palm over Kurt’s erection. “Need. Shower. I need a shower.”

"Mm, I want to suck you," Blaine whispered in Kurt's ear, sending a shiver of pleasure down his spine. Blaine lips closed over his ear, his teeth nipping at the lobe.

"Shower," Kurt tried to protest, but it came out as a moan. Blaine shuffled his feet between Kurt's and slipped his hand into Kurt's underwear, wrapping around his hard cock, his thumb dragging teasingly over the head. God, Kurt couldn't think like this. Not with Blaine surrounding him, pressing him, touching him like this. Not when everything was Blaine, from the ragged breathing against his neck to the heady scent of boy and Blaine's aftershave assaulting his nostrils. It was too much, but so badly not enough that Kurt found himself curling his fingers into thin air, a broken moan pushing past his lips, begging for more even as he knew he needed to get ready. He knew he needed to get in the shower, though for the life of him, he couldn't think of why.

"I can suck you in the shower."

And that, that right there was exactly why they had requested a double with a private bathroom. If anyone had caught them, like last year, they wouldn't have understood. They'd gotten away with it before, claiming they were both drunk and that neither of them remembered it, though their floormate didn't seem to buy it. He had given them lube and condoms along with a note to keep it in their room. They'd used the lube and condoms, and had kept it to their room for the remainder of freshman year, but now. Now they had their own bathroom and their own shower and fuck, the thought of Blaine on his knees, staring up at him, dripping wet with his mouth stretched around Kurt's cock, it was almost too much and Kurt had to push Blaine away before he completely lost it.

He got his first good look at Blaine since returning to their room and fuck, he looked positively wild, eyes blown out, lips wet and kissed red. His hair was sticking up all over the place and the only piece of clothing he had on was a pair of red, checked boxers, a large wet spot spreading over where the head of Blaine’s cock tented the material. It was all Kurt could do to not reach out and grip him through his underwear, and twist his wrist hard and fast over it, the way he knew Blaine loved, until Blaine was gasping out his orgasm.

"Bathroom. Now." Kurt managed and then they were falling over each other, Blaine sliding out of his boxers and pulling Kurt's clothes off as he backed them into their bathroom. Blaine twisted a hand behind him, flicking the water on and barely waited a moment to shove Kurt into it, bare back slamming against the cold tiles. Blaine sank to his knees, burying his face against Kurt's hips, sucking hard on the skin stretched over Kurt's hipbone. His hands caressed Kurt's thighs, one hand drifting up between them to dance over the sensitive skin of Kurt's inner thighs before settling on his balls, massaging them in his perfect, perfect grip.

Kurt slammed his hand against the wall, reaching out for his shampoo, he almost dropped it as Blaine's breath ghosted over his cock, followed by the teasing tip of his tongue sliding over the head. He poured out far too much shampoo, slamming the bottle back onto its shelf in his haste to get his hands in his hair. Blaine chose that moment to sink his mouth down over Kurt's cock, wasting no time in swallowing him whole. It was all Kurt could do to shove his hands into his own hair, attempting to massage the product in. He was more or less just clutching at his hair, tugging at it and holding on as he tried not to come into the tight, wet heat of Blaine's mouth.

Lather, lather. Build up a lather and oh fuck. Blaine sucked hard, drawing Kurt’s cock into his throat and Kurt felt a finger, slick with lube inching past his balls, sliding over his perineum and teasing, touching, tracing the puckered skin around his entrance and then slipping, dipping, pressing just inside and then deeper.

Kurt scrabbled against the wet tile for a moment before settling his hands on Blaine's shoulders, bearing down on the finger as he tried to buck his hips up into Blaine's mouth. They hadn't done this very much, not with Blaine's mouth around his cock and Blaine's fingers buried in his ass. He was beginning to understand just why Blaine always fell apart so beautifully whenever Kurt did it to him. He loved having Blaine's cock in his mouth, tongue slipping along the veins as he pumped his fingers in and out of him, brushing his fingertips over the spot inside Blaine that always made him groan and spread his legs even wider.

It was torture, and Kurt was torn, torn over whether he should be pressing forward, getting his cock deeper in Blaine's mouth, where that tongue was teasing over the head before sucking him all the way back down into his throat or whether he wanted to press his ass back, force Blaine's fingers in deeper, better, more with more pressure and pressing, rubbing over his prostate, stretching him, prepping him.

No. They didn't have time for that, they didn't even have time for this and it was that thought that had Kurt angling his head forward to wash the shampoo from his hair, hands shaking as he snatched his conditioner, not caring when he dropped the bottle to the shower floor before burying his hands back in his hair, working the product in.

Kurt moaned shamelessly, spreading his legs wider as Blaine worked in a third finger, dropping his mouth to suck on Kurt's balls, tongue licking past Kurt's perineum and even farther to lick around where his fingers were pumping into Kurt's stretched hole. Kurt's breath punched out of him, as Blaine brought his mouth back to Kurt's cock sucking hard on the head as his fingers massaged Kurt's prostate. He snapped his head back against the tile, howling as he came down Blaine's throat.

His orgasm ripped from him and Blaine didn't let up on the pressure on his prostate, sucking Kurt’s cock dry until he was pushing Blaine's mouth away with a whine. Blaine pulled off with a pop and he eased his fingers out of Kurt's hole as Kurt slid down the tiles, landing on his knees in front of Blaine.

Blaine leaned forward; kissing into Kurt's open, wet mouth as Kurt tried to catch his breath.

"Beautiful. Kurt, you're so beautiful," Blaine whispered against Kurt's lips as the shower still pounded water down around them. Kurt wasn't even sure he'd heard it before Blaine was tipping his head back, fingers running through his hair, massaging his scalp as he washed Kurt's conditioner out. Kurt sat there, the pressure of Blaine's fingers shooting sparks of pleasure through his oversensitive nerves before he realized Blaine still hadn't come.

Reaching down between them, he fisted his hand around Blaine's cock, twisting hot and rubbing over the head of Blaine's dick. Kurt licked into Blaine’s open mouth, tasting himself on Blaine’s tongue. It didn't take much before Blaine's hips stuttered and he was spilling over Kurt's hand, Kurt swallowing his moan.

They stayed like that for a long minute, kissing and touching, all ghosting hands and wet tongues before Kurt dragged Blaine to his feet. Blaine grabbed Kurt's body wash, spreading it over his loofah before bringing it back to wash over Kurt’s body.

He gently glided the loofah over Kurt’s skin, carefully washing the come from his stomach and pressing a kiss to his thigh as he washed over Kurt’s legs. When he finished with the front, Blaine turned him around, gathering more soap before scrubbing over Kurt’s back, the soap sliding a trail down to his ass. Blaine dropped the loofah as he dipped his fingers between Kurt’s cheeks; spreading him open to wash away the lube still slick around his hole.

Blaine's fingers traced along his still stretched hole and it was all Kurt could do to not beg for Blaine to put them in, to stretch him wider, and to lube up his cock, press into him, and fuck him into the tiles of their shower. It wouldn't be the first time and Kurt was sure that it wouldn't have been the last time either. He loved Blaine's body too much to give him up even as he planned dates with cute boys he met in cafes and classes.

Warm, wet lips pressed gentle kisses to his shoulder, up his neck even as those fingers pressed, daring a little and slipping in.

"Blaine," Kurt whined. Too much, too soon, but not enough and without time to do what Kurt really wanted. "I have to get ready."

Blaine groaned, pressing a final, wet, open-mouthed kiss to Kurt's neck before slipping his fingers out and reaching forward to turn off the water.

They toweled off separately, though Kurt kept catching Blaine staring at him, and couldn’t help staring back. He couldn't bring himself to blush or even to be embarrassed. Blaine was an attractive guy, all compact muscle and just the right amount of body hair to turn Kurt on, but not so much that Kurt would get buried in it. His body always felt so good, flush against his back as Blaine rocked his hips into Kurt or even when Kurt pressed Blaine down into the bed, chests flush, and fucked into him.

Every time was different and exciting and brought something new to the surface, something Kurt wouldn’t have thought of on his own. Kurt hadn’t known the dimples that dotted the base of his spine could be so sensitive until Blaine had spent a glorious amount of time laving over them, licking and sucking dark bruises into the skin.

Kurt shivered as he pushed those thoughts out of his mind; he had to get ready. Blaine pressed a final kiss to Kurt’s bare shoulder before he retreated to their room while Kurt set to work on his skincare routine and getting his hair dry.

"Remind me why we can't just be together?" Blaine asked as Kurt stepped back into their room, completely naked. He'd gotten over being naked in their room in front of Blaine a long time ago. All those body insecurities seemed to slip away after Blaine had spent hours mapping out every inch of Kurt's body with his tongue.

Part of Kurt had hoped Blaine would still be naked, but he had slipped into a new pair of boxers, a loose t-shirt hanging off his chest as he reclined on his bed. Kurt could feel Blaine’s gaze as he turned to his dresser.

“You know why.”

"Yeah, because we're roommates and it could screw up everything if we ever broke up. I know, but don't you ever wonder what it could be like if we were? If you didn't leave for dates after I blow you in the shower?" Blaine asked.

Kurt pulled his underwear up over his thighs before answering.

"I just think it would be a bad idea."

"I know, but we could be so good. So good together. We already know what each other likes in bed. That wouldn't be an issue. No surprises there."

Kurt barked out a laugh. Yes, there would definitely be no surprises there, but, but what if they did break up? He wouldn't just be losing a boyfriend. He'd be losing a roommate. He'd be losing his best friend and how awkward would that be? They were already halfway through the semester and it would be so hard to change rooms. Not to mention, he had a date. A date that was going to be arriving in less than ten minutes.

"Blaine. No."

"But we could have sex all the time." Blaine argued.

"That’s not really a perk of being together. We're already doing it. Literally." Kurt scoffed and rolled his eyes a little at Blaine's suggestion and pulled on his jeans, zipping them up.

"Well, what about PDA? We wouldn't have to hide our affection."

"And what makes you think I like PDA?"

"You like it when I hold your hand." Blaine sat up on his bed, scooting to the edge, legs hanging over the side. He reached out to grab Kurt's hand, but Kurt swatted him away, grabbing his shirt instead and pulling it over his head.

"That's true, but holding hands is something just about anyone can do, not exactly earth shattering."

"I could kiss you in public."

"We make out at the movies all the time."

"Only when we go alone."

"So what, you want to make out in front of our friends?"

"That's not what I'm saying."

"What are you saying, Blaine?" Kurt asked, slightly exasperated. Blaine pushed himself off the bed, grabbing Kurt around the waist as Kurt slid an arm into his waistcoat, the other side dangling against his back.

"What I'm saying is that I could do this," Blaine leaned up, pressing his lips against Kurt's, sucking Kurt's bottom lip between his for a moment before pulling back, "Anytime. I could do that any time and no one would care."

Kurt pushed Blaine away to slide his other arm into the waistcoat. Kurt made a non-committal noise in his throat. In high school, he'd always dreamed of having a sweet boyfriend, someone who would press chaste kisses to his lips just because, who would twine their fingers together and walk the halls with him. He'd never gotten that, instead, he'd gotten into a relationship with a guy he thought loved him, but had spent more time trying to get into Kurt’s pants than actually caring about him. The sixteen-year-old boy in him gave a slight tug to his heart, but he couldn't let himself go down that path. Not now and not with Blaine.

"I could buy you presents, theater tickets, anything and everything you've ever wanted." Blaine rarely talked about the money he came from and Kurt couldn't help arching an eyebrow at Blaine's words. He would never want to be a kept man, but even Kurt could admit that getting to see more than one Broadway show a semester would be amazing, especially with Blaine, who would hold his hand and mouth along to the words with him, never judging.

No. No. He couldn't do this. He just couldn’t. They couldn't do this. They were such good friends and he would never, never want to jeopardize that, and for what? A romantic fling that would probably fizzle out in a few months? No. He valued their friendship too much to do that. Blaine would see. This was for the best.

“Presents are nice, but Blaine, we can’t. I’m sorry, but I really, really care about you and I don’t wan to mess this up.” Kurt finished pulling on his boots, having decided on the Thomas Engel Hart’s.

"Please don't go on this date," Blaine whined. Kurt turned to check himself out in the full-length mirror he'd affixed to his closet door. He didn't get it. Kurt going out on dates had never bothered Blaine before, unless he was horny and Kurt was leaving him to go fuck someone else. Then he’d get frustrated and would pin Kurt against the nearest piece of furniture and grind against him until Kurt would call and back out of his plans even as Blaine's hands found their way into his pants.

This was different though. He'd already gotten Blaine off. What more did he want?

"Why not?"

"Why go on the date? You're not going to end up with this guy. At most, you'll fuck him for the next week or two, then break up with him before Thanksgiving. I'm here. I'm always here. I'll always be here."

"Blaine," Kurt warned. Blaine was starting to piss him off. Why couldn't he just get it through his head? Blaine surged forward again, spinning Kurt around to face him and fused their mouths together. Kurt expected it to be rough and demanding, not sweet and slow and languorous. Blaine's tongue slipped past his lips, one hand coming up to cradle Kurt's jaw and it was different. It felt different like more than any kiss they'd ever shared together and god was Blaine's mouth intoxicating.

Blaine pulled his mouth away from Kurt’s, leaning their foreheads together.

"How about this for a reason? I'm in love with you."

Kurt froze in Blaine's arms. Love. Blaine was in love with him?

A sharp knock at the door snapped his attention back to reality.

"Kurt?" Derek's voice sounded through the door after a moment. Kurt cleared his throat, somehow finding his voice.

"One second," he called back. He stared at Blaine, not sure what to do. He had a date. And love? Love? No. Blaine couldn't be in love with him. He couldn't. God, Kurt really had to go.

"Kurt?" Blaine asked.

"I...I'm sorry. I have. I have to go." Kurt slipped out of Blaine's arms and walked over to the door, pulling it open. And there was Derek, tall and handsome with his sharply cut hair and his clear, blue eyes. A dreamboat really, Kurt plastered on a smile. "Derek. Hello."

Derek leaned past the doorframe and pressed a kiss to Kurt's lips, still slightly damp from Blaine's saliva. He would never know what happened in the minute between pulling that door open and when he found himself stepping into the elevator with Derek, all he would ever remember was the look of heartbreak on Blaine's face as he pulled the door shut behind him.

The elevator doors closed behind them and Kurt was left to his thoughts.

Blaine was in love with him. How long had Blaine been in love with him?

Ding!

The elevator stopped on the 11th floor to let in three girls that Kurt was fairly certain were already drunk and singing a really terrible version of "Part of Your World". Kurt leaned against the back of the elevator and Derek stepped next to him, his arm coming to rest around Kurt's waist. The elevator moved on.

Seriously though. How was Blaine in love with him? Is that why he'd wanted to room together this year?

Ding!

The doors opened to the 9th floor for a scraggly kid with a bag of dirty clothes heading to the laundry room.

What did Blaine think was going to happen? That Kurt was just going to declare his love in return and they would, what? Live happily ever after?

Derek leaned down and pressed a kiss to Kurt's temple.

"Everything all right?" Derek asked. Kurt's voice caught in his throat. No. Everything was not all right. His best friend and roommate of nearly a year and a half had just told him he was in love with him after having spent the better part of that year and a half having sex with Kurt and never having mentioned even wanting a relationship with him until today. Sure, they’d kept each other from dates to have sex, but it was never more than that and Blaine had brought up sexual exclusivity once or twice, but a relationship?

"Yeah." Why hadn't Blaine ever said anything before? Had he always wanted to be with Kurt? But that couldn't have been completely true; Blaine had dated other guys. There'd been Sebastian for a month last year and Jeremiah before that, and he'd never, never had an issue with Kurt dating other guys.

Ding!

The sixth floor brought them a couple that proceeded to make out heavily while completely ignoring everyone else. Kurt shuddered and thought back to Blaine's mention of PDA. Kurt was not a fan of PDA, but handholding, gentle kisses, everything Blaine had described, what he'd done, that would be fine. But it was Blaine. Why did it have to be Blaine?

Kurt sighed, ignoring the way Derek's hand tightened over his hip. Derek leaned down and brushed a kiss over Kurt's cheek, then stilled, drawing back, his arm stiff around Kurt's waist.

Ding!

The fourth floor brought more drunk people, and really, Kurt though, why were there so many people drunk at 7PM on a Thursday? Only in college, he tutted to himself, thoughts drifting back to Blaine and remembering another weekday evening with too much alcohol.

They'd both had a bit too much tequila at a party in their friend's dorm and they'd stumbled back to their room. Apparently they were both horny drunks because he had pushed Blaine onto his bed, kissing him deep and wet and there was probably way too much tongue, but fuck it felt good and right and everything he'd been missing in the month since he'd arrived at college.

They'd rubbed their clothed bodies together, Kurt rocking his hips against Blaine's until they had come and passed out, waking up the next morning with terrible hangovers and crusty clothes that clung to their skin.

They didn't talk about it for two weeks until one night Blaine had turned to him while they were both doing homework and said that he wanted to do it again, wanted to touch Kurt again, kiss him, feel him. They had agreed that it was just sex and they could stop at any time, but they never did. Even when Blaine was with Sebastian and Kurt had gone out with a devastatingly handsome model for two months, they'd continued fooling around, eventually fucking each other and they slept in each other's beds more often than not.

Kurt had never thought about it before, never considered what a romantic relationship with Blaine would mean beyond the idea of what would happen if they broke up.

But.

What if they didn't?

Blaine had said it himself. They worked well together and Kurt couldn't deny that Blaine was amazing. He was everything Kurt had ever dreamed of in a guy and everything he'd never let himself want. What if Blaine was it? What if Blaine was the one for him and Kurt was pushing him away because of what? Because he was afraid of what could happen if they ever broke up?

That wasn't a very healthy mindset to be in entering into a relationship with someone he loved.

Loved.

He loved Blaine. Of course he loved Blaine, but he'd never let himself think. Never let himself wonder if maybe, he didn't just love Blaine, if maybe he was in love with Blaine too.

Ding!

The lobby. Finally.

The rest of the elevator emptied out leaving him and Derek alone. Derek slipped his hand from Kurt’s waist and made to leave the elevator, he stopped in the door, turning back to Kurt.

“Why do you smell like Blaine?” Derek asked.

“I do?” Kurt asked and Derek nodded. “Well we do live together. I may have accidentally used his cologne, it’s happened before.”

It had, sort of. They had been kissing as they worked around each other in their bathroom, getting ready for class. Blaine had held up the bottle and spritzed it against Kurt’s neck. Blaine had claimed it was an accident, but with Blaine’s admission earlier, he now wondered if that were true or if he’d just wanted Kurt to smell like him.

“I don’t think that’s what’s going on. Just tell me something, are you having sex with him?”

He’d never admitted it to anyone else, not even Mercedes and Rachel, his two best friends from home, but now, he knew he had to be honest.

“Yes, but we aren’t together. It’s not like that.”

“Right,” Derek said with a huff. “Do you want it to be like that? Do you want to be with him?”

No one had ever asked him that before. He’d certainly never asked himself if that was what he wanted, had never let himself wonder if it was.

He wanted to say no, to go out and have an uncomplicated date with Derek, but he couldn’t because all that thinking about why he and Blaine shouldn’t be together…didn’t that say something about what he wasn’t thinking about? What he wasn’t letting himself think about.

At the end of the day, Kurt just wanted to be in Blaine’s arms, to have him there to care for and support. He wanted Blaine to be the first person he saw in the morning and the last person he saw at night, that was why he’d wanted to live with Blaine another year. He wanted Blaine gasping his name as he came, he wanted to kiss away his insecurities and hold him safe and if that wasn’t love, Kurt wasn’t sure what was.

Kurt was in love with Blaine.

Derek sighed, bringing Kurt back to reality.

“As much as I don’t want to say this, your silence and that far off look you just got answered my question, so…go get him.”

“Derek, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean—”

“It’s okay. Just, go tell him. He looked about ready to kill himself when we left so I have a pretty good feeling he wants to be with you too.”

“Thank you,” Kurt choked out as Derek let the door go. Kurt pressed the button for the twelfth floor, jamming the door-closed button and willing the stupid thing to go up as quickly as possible.

As soon as the doors opened to his floor he slid between them, running down the hall to his and Blaine’s room. He threw their door open, knowing it wouldn’t be locked right now, and froze.

Blaine was curled up on Kurt’s bed, hand curled into his pillow, he jumped off the bed as he saw Kurt in the doorway, nearly falling over in his haste.

“Kurt what are you doing here? Did you forget something?” Blaine asked staring at him wide-eyed.

“Yeah,” Kurt breathed out. Blaine’s shoulder slumped, but Kurt just closed the distance between them in a few long steps and tilted Blaine’s head up. “My heart. I forgot my heart here with you.”

He leaned down to kiss Blaine; their lips sliding together suddenly feeling different, better, more meaningful than ever before. He pressed soft kisses to the edge of Blaine’s mouth, kissing over his cheeks and holding him as close as possible.

“What about Derek?” Blaine asked.

“What about him? I’ve got everything I could ever want right here.” Kurt slid his mouth over Blaine’s once more, just a gentle press of lips before pulling back. “I’m in love with you too, and I want to be with you.”

“What if we break up? Isn’t that what you’ve been afraid of?”

“What if we don’t?” Kurt asked in return. It must have been all the answer Blaine needed because in the next moment Blaine had tugged Kurt back into his arms and kissed him solid on the mouth.