Vanilla Limelight

"-And then, oh my god, it was too funny! He fell off his chair just as Mr Ashdown walked in!" Kurt giggled loudly.

"Oh, haha..." Blaine replied half-heartedly.

"Wow Blaine, I just can’t believe how different it is in New York compared to Lima." Kurt smiled happily.

"How so?" Blaine hoped that Kurt couldn't see the hint of a smile forming on his lips.

"Everyone accepts me here. I wasn’t appreciated by anyone at McKinley, it’s just so much better here in New York. And at school everyone is always telling me that I have an amazing voice and that I am an amazing performer. I can’t see how I was ever happy in Lima at all.” Kurt said without hesitation.

"Oh. That sounds...nice." Blaine heard his own voice drop. Maybe Kurt would notice. He probably wouldn't. Too caught up in his 'dream school’ to remember that Blaine had supported him in everything he did. Hell, he was still prepared to jump of a mountain for Kurt. That’s why he was happy in Lima, because Blaine was there. And Blaine still is there.

"I thought that after four months of being here I would be dying to come home but I’m not homesick at all! Everything I could ever want or need is right here in New York!” Kurt continued hurriedly.

Blaine’s face fell. Everything he could ever want or need. Didn’t Kurt need Blaine anymore? “I’m really happy for you Kurt. I’m glad everything’s working out.” Blaine said plainly. He stared at his boyfriend’s face through the laptop screen. Kurt’s expression didn’t change.

“Good because you should be! This is my dream come true! And...” Kurt trailed off and turned around where a mousy haired girl had appeared at the door. Kurt stood up and walked over to her. They spoke for a few moments before Kurt rushed back to his desk. “Sorry Blaine I have to go. I didn’t realise the time.”

Blaine couldn’t even see his boyfriends face anymore. Kurt was busy throwing stuff into a bag.

“I’ll talk to you soon, ok?”

“Yeah ok. I love you Kurt, really I do.”

“I love you too.” Kurt replied carelessly and slammed the laptop shut.

Blaine sat back in his chair shutting his beautiful eyes. What was he suppose to do? It was as if Kurt was forgetting him, forgetting what they have. He hadn’t even said to Blaine that he missed him and Blaine missed Kurt like crazy. Every morning it was a drag to just get out of bed. Kurt had been the reason Blaine had trekked his way to school each day and now he was miles away in New York. But how was he meant to tell Kurt have he felt when Kurt was so happy? All Blaine wanted to do was hold Kurt close, to whisper in his delicate ears, to kiss his perfect lips.

Blaine walked over to his iPod dock. He let the songs run through on shuffle for almost half an hour while he sat on his bed staring into space.

The song Perfect started to play and Blaine jumped off his bed and quickly changed the song. It was Vanilla Twilight. Without realising Blaine started to sing.

Vanilla Twilight by Owl City

The stars lean down to kiss you,

And I lie awake I miss you,

Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere.

Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly,

But I'll miss your arms around me

I'll send a postcard to you dear,

Cause I wish you were here.

Blaine's mind went back to the first time he met Kurt. So young and timid. Telling Kurt about his experiences. Watching tears of hurt and pain slide down Kurt's pale face. God, he was so beautiful then. Maybe Kurt would remember those times, maybe he wouldn't...

I'll watch the night turn light blue,

But it's not the same without you,

Because it takes two to whisper quietly,

The silence isn't so bad,

Till I look at my hands and feel sad,

Cause the spaces between my fingers

Are right where yours fit perfectly.

An image formed in his head of the day he kissed his love for the first time. He was so nervous. It was the first time he had ever felt that way about a boy. When his lips touched Kurt's it was like there was not a care in the world. All he needed was Kurt...

I'll find repose in new ways,

Though I haven't slept in two days,

Cause cold nostalgia chills me to the bone.

But drenched in Vanilla twilight,

I'll sit on the front porch all night,

Waist deep in thought because when I think of you.

I don't feel so alone.

I don't feel so alone.

I don't feel so alone.

He remembered all the nights he had cried over Kurt. When they had fights, when he left for college, when Blaine felt as though no one cared. He stayed up for endless nights, remembering their precious moments, trying to hold onto them as they slowly slipped away.

As many times as I blink I'll think of you... tonight.

I'll think of you tonight.

Silent tears of hurt and regret trickled down his cheeks.

When violet eyes get brighter,

And heavy wings grow lighter,

I'll taste the sky and feel alive again.

And I'll forget the world that I knew,

But I swear I won't forget you,

Oh if my voice could reach back through the past,

I'd whisper in your ear,

Oh darling I wish you were here.

The first time Blaine saw Kurt, their many duets, when Kurt sang Blackbird, their first kiss. It was too much for Blaine to handle and by the end of the song he was crying uncontrollably.

Blaine reached up for the picture of him and Kurt on his shelf. He stared into his boyfriends eyes and attempted not to think how they weren’t the same yes he had seen through his laptop screen today.

Blaine tried to believe he was being selfish; he tried to believe he didn’t need Kurt by his side ever second of every minute of every day.  But even though Blaine was trying his best to seem happy and jolly he was dying inside with his true love in his arms.

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Waking up early was one of the worst things Blaine had to experience in his life but on Friday morning he seemed to be fine with waking up at half three. When Blaine had booked the flight he had made sure he was on a flight early enough that if anybody realised he was gone it wouldn’t be until he was well on his way to New York.

Blaine had realised that skipping out of his house early in the morning would be hard but after that everything should be a breeze. So after shoving his toiletries, pyjamas and enough clothes to last him a couple of weeks, Blaine made his way through his dark house.

He tiptoed down the stairs, past his brother’s and his parents’ room, and unlocked the four different locks on the front door. In the garden Blaine ran immediately to the hedge in hope that he wouldn’t wake the two huge bull dogs guarding the house. Blaine could even remember now the time when the dogs had barked a few time in the middle of the night and his father had made his way down the stairs with a shot gun. At the first sign of a movement Mr Anderson fired five bullets towards the hedge. Turned out that he killed an elderly man who was lost. Blaine could still hear his father’s voice ‘Best not to tell anyone about this Blaine. Be a good boy now.’

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Blaine had never been one to be easily impressed but the fact that he had just paid for first class seats and his eat was barely any bigger than the ones in business class disappointed him immensely. He was also confused about how an old man who spoke in a quiet gruff led voice could snore so loudly.

When they had landed Blaine checked his watch. Kurt would probably be at college all day so Blaine decided to go sightseeing. The year his family had gone to New York had been the same year that Blaine came out. He had been advised by his mum to stay at home though he was never asked if he wanted to go on the holiday anyway.

Even though Blaine spent the day in various parts of New York he couldn’t stop thinking about Kurt. What would Kurt do when he saw Blaine? What would Kurt think when he saw him? Would Kurt even let him stay? What would he be doing? Did he still love Blaine?

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Blaine stepped out of the cab clutching the bunch of red roses in one arm and suitcase in the other. He climbed the steps to Kurt’s apartment and knocked on the door.

A tall elegant blonde girl answered the door. She had a natural flirtatious look in her eyes, a stunning bone structure and fabulous skin. “Why, hello.” She smiled. “And who might you be?”

“I’m Blaine. Blaine Anderson. Maybe-“

The girl cut across him. “Blaine? I don’t know a Blaine. Actually I’ve never even heard of the name.” The girl stepped outside of the apartment so she was practically on top of poor Blaine who was half way between feeling disappointed that Kurt hadn’t told his new friends about him and panicking because he was being harassed by a very tall girl in the middle of New York.

“I’m actually-“

“Are you from school?” The girl’s eyes trailed to the flowers, her face was right up against Blaine’s, she whispered against his lips. “Did Kurt tell you how I just broke up with my boyfriend because honestly I really need someone to fuck me so I can get over him?” Her fingers wrapped Blaine’s curls around them.

“So, Kurt does live here?”

“Oh ,God.” The girl stepped back. “You’re that Blaine.” She looked at his suitcase. “I should have guessed. I mean all the good looking guys now are gay! It’s just so unfair.”

Blaine stood there awkwardly not sure what to say.

“Sorry I’m being so rude. Come inside. I’m Roxanne by the way. But you can call me Roxy.”

“Cool.” Blaine said plainly.

He followed Roxy into the apartment. He had immediately stepped into a very short corridor with a kitchen to his right. “You can put your bag down there.” Roxy pointed to the space under a bunch of messily hung up coats. He could here laughing coming from the living room.

“Oh my god. Remember when she flushed her script down the toilet, that was hilarious!” A man’s voice laughed.

“Guys! I’m sitting write here you know?” A high pitched voice laughed.

“Still it was funny!” The man said again. Four voices laughed, Blaine was thankful that he heard Kurt’s among them.

“Right, people! Shut up!” Roxy went into the living room. Blaine stayed behind her. “Kurt, you have a special guest!”

Blaine stepped out from behind Roxy and saw the room of people. On the floor leaning against the sliding doors was the mousy haired girl Blaine had seen a few days ago when he was on Skype with Kurt. The other girl was in the armchair. Her hair black hair was tossed all over the chair behind her and her large green eyes were naturally smiling. There was other boy, who was obviously gay, lying on the sofa with his head on...on...on...Kurt’s lap. It wasn’t just that, Kurt’s hands were playing with his blonde curls absent-mindedly. And Kurt looked different. His hair was bigger and his outfit wasn’t flamboyant and his skin wasn’t perfectly smooth anymore, it wasn’t quite so smooth.

“Blaine! Oh my God!” Kurt breathed.

Blaine couldn’t tell whether Kurt was happy or not to see him. The other boy didn’t. Neither did any of the girls. Blaine looked at Roxy who was smirking evilly. “Bad luck, Blaine. But leave the flowers. They are really nice.”

Blaine ran out of the apartment and down the steps and then he stopped. He had no idea where he was meant to be going. He hadn’t even been to New York before. He had no idea where he was or how he was going to get to anywhere. He dropped down onto the last step and cried.

“Blaine! Blaine, what the hell! Why did you run out?” Kurt dropped down next to him. “Why are you crying?”

“What would you have done if you had seen me sitting there playing with the hair of some random guy who had his head on my lap?”

“You mean Jacob? God no, Jacob has been the most amazing friend to me since I got to New York.”

“So, you play with your best friend’s hair?”

“Oh, come on, Blaine. I used to play with Rachel’s hair all the time and she and Mercedes were forever getting their fingers tangled in each others. Blaine, why are you here anyway, shouldn’t you have been at school?

“I had to see you. I was so desperate to see you again. I have missed you so much and I was scared because when we talk lately it seems as if you were in another universe, like you didn’t even know who was listening on the other end of the line.”

“Oh, shit, Blaine I knew something was wrong. I’m so sorry, how could I have been so stupid?”

“You’re not stupid Kurt; you’re just living the dream.”

“Trust me. If you share an apartment with Roxy then you are so not living the dream.”

“What’s the deal with her anyway?”

“She’s okay when you get to know her. But back to us. I have been stupid, I’ve been so caught up with being in the limelight that I have totally forgotten about you and about how you make me feel.”

Blaine smiled.

Kurt touched his boyfriends hand gently and then held it in his. His lips pressed against Blaine’s perfectly as they shared their first kiss in what felt like forever. “I love you, Blaine Anderson.”

“I love you more.” Blaine whispered against Kurt’s face.

“I love you most.” Kurt smiled before pulling Blaine back to kiss him again. Their kisses got harder until Kurt pulled away. “I’m freezing out here. Let’s go inside before our butts get too cold.” Kurt stood up and held out his hand for Blaine who took it.

“One more kiss first?” Blaine asked.

“Anything for you, my love.”