Three years. It has been three years since that chilly autumn night, when Blaine had visited Kurt in New York for the first and the last time. After tears, silence and heart break both boys had come to a decision to stay just friends. That sounded absurd and maybe too simple after months of being involved in something so much more, but now that’s all they had and neither Kurt nor Blaine dared to ask for anything else.

At first it worked. They tried to keep in touch just like at the time when they were still dating. But at the same time everything was so different. Sure, they had been friends before they were a couple, but after everything that had happened things felt different. Kurt and Blaine felt different. They didn’t notice when precisely their phone calls and e-mails became less and less frequent until one day they stopped talking to each other at all.

When Blaine finally graduated high school Kurt wasn’t among the people in McKinley’s auditorium who had come to congratulate the seniors. Blaine heard from Finn that Kurt was successfully pursuing his career in the fashion world. The same way a few months later Kurt accidentally found out that Blaine had moved to San Francisco and now studied music therapy.

Two years came and went until one day shortly before the spring break all the old New Direction members received a message from one and only Rachel Berry with an invitation to meet and remember the good times.

And this is where it leaves us now. Three years later all the original members of New Directions once again met in the Berry’s family infamous basement. After that train wreck party Rachel had thrown back in their junior year of high school this place held many memories for every choir member.

Kurt had come back to Ohio with Rachel. They still shared an apartment in New York and still were each other’s rocks in the big city. At first Kurt had been hesitant about meeting the old mates. Actually he was hesitant to meet only one curly haired boy that he hadn’t heard anything from for past two years. Kurt had more or less kept in touch with all the other of his school friends and yet he and Blaine had managed to drift apart over time. Only after Rachel’s annoying pleading he had agreed to come.

Slowly all the members of New Directions started to arrive in Berry’s house. There were lots of hugs, smiles, congratulations and genuine joy. Soon everyone was involved in conversations like no time had passed at all and they had just reunited after a summer break. Between clinging glasses, laughs and music nobody really acknowledged another person quietly making their way down the stairs.

“Blaine! It’s so good to see you, man!” Puck shouted noticing Blaine quietly standing at the bottom of the stairs. “It’s been years, how are you?” he asked but didn’t wait for an answer and pulled the shorter man in a tight hug.

“Hey, everyone, Blaine’s here!” Puck shouted over the loud music and everyone turned their attention to the both men at the stairs.

From all the original New Direction members Blaine was the one who really broke all the connections once he graduated. He never truly considered himself as one of the group, since he had transferred to McKinley only because of Kurt. After the older boy had graduated, Blaine became more and more distant and once he moved to San Francisco, he simply put his past behind him. Or at least had tried to do so.

When Blaine had received Rachel’s invitation, he had immediately decided not to go. Even Rachel’s pestering hadn’t changed his mind. Actually this was Cooper’s fault he was there tonight. His older brother had decided to visit their family who still lived in Ohio and Blaine really wanted to meet Cooper. After accidentally mentioning the reunion party to him Blaine had let his brother to talk him into going after all.

Blaine shyly waved at his old school mates and smiled when he saw how happy they all were to see him. Soon he was surrounded by them and tried to answer as much questions as possible since everyone was talking at the same time. The only person who kept aside was Kurt. Since the moment Puck had brought his attention to the dark haired boy his heart was beating faster and faster. Blaine was wearing a simple, white dress shirt and dark jeans. His hair was still curly only now they were a bit longer and not so full of hair gel. And suddenly Kurt once again was feeling like a teenager standing on Dalton’s grand staircase. He looked at Blaine’s smiling face and didn’t fail to notice how his brown eyes were searching for something or someone in the crowd. Blaine was looking for Kurt.

And on spur of the moment everything became too much. All the memories came back to Kurt. The memories of their duets, of hand holding and drinking coffee together. Memories of hugs, kisses and late nights that belonged to them and only them. Memories of dimly light piano bar in New York, of a deserted park and heartbreak. And suddenly everything became so much worse when Blaine’s eyes finally found Kurt’s. The older boy noticed how the spark in Blaine’s eyed slowly died and his smile faltered. And in that moment Kurt knew he had to get out. The room had become too small, too crowded, and too loud. He needed air and space or Kurt was sure he would suffocate.

Blaine kept smiling and replying to all the questions about his new life, when he noticed Kurt rising from his seat and quickly climbing up the stairs. He was thankful to be around so many other people or otherwise he was sure of not being able to hold back the overwhelming pain in his chest that had appeared once he had caught Kurt’s gaze in the room.

A little by little the questions died down and all the young adults in the room returned to their previous conversations inviting Blaine to join them. He really tried to ease himself into the friendly and carefree small talk that was going around the room, but all Blaine was able to think about was Kurt and how much pain he had seen in his ex-boyfriend’s eyes.

“Blaine, would you like another drink?” Tina asked and nodded to an empty glass in Blaine’s hand that he didn’t remember taking.

“No, thank you,” Blaine replied. “I think… I think I forgot my phone in my coat pocket. I’ll go get it,” he said and turned to stairs as Tina smiled and told him to not be away for long.
Blaine made his way up the stairs not really knowing why. Of course, his phone was with in his jeans pocket, but he felt an incredible need to leave the room. When Blaine reached the top of the stairs he turned to the door thinking that maybe fresh air was what he needed. When reaching for the doors Blaine noticed that the lights in the kitchen were on. He had no doubt who was there. He also knew that he shouldn’t go to the kitchen, but before Blaine could register what he’s doing, he found himself standing next to the doorframe and looking into the Berry’s family kitchen.

Kurt was sitting at the table with his back turned to Blaine, his hands grasping a mug. His head was lowered and eyes closed. Suddenly, as if feeling that someone was watching him, Kurt turned his head and caught Blaine’s stare for the second time this night. For a second their both worlds seemed to stop as their eyes locked.

“Blaine,” Kurt quietly breathed out.

“Hello, Kurt,” Blaine replied smiling weakly.

Another moment of silence fell over them as both men lowered their eyes not knowing what to say or do.

“Would you like some tea?” Kurt finally asked in a calm voice, “I boiled the water.”

“Yeah, sure,” Blaine replied and started looking for a mug.

“Top shelf on the left,” Kurt mumbled guessing what the other needed.

“Thanks.”

When Blaine’s tea was ready he insecurely looked at Kurt before sitting down at the opposite side of the table. Another moment of silence sat in.

“So…music therapy?” Kurt once again broke the uncomfortable silence in the kitchen staring at the mug in his hands.

“Yeah, something I never thought of doing,” Blaine replied also looking down, “but after two years I’m sure it’s the right place for me.”

“I always thought you wanted to be a performer,” the other man remarked.

“I thought the same about you,” Blaine snapped. “I’m sorry – “

“No, it’s – “

“No, it came out too harsh, I didn’t mean it like that,” dark haired man apologized still not raising his eyes. “Just after the stuff I went through when we… in my senior year… it made me think a lot, and thanks to some internet research I found out I could really help people by doing what I love.”

Kurt simply nodded still not daring to look at the man sitting opposite of him. “And what happened to New York?”
For a moment Blaine was silent. After taking a deep breath and sighing he finally looked at the other man. “Can we be honest with each other?”

“We’ve always been,” Kurt replied with a weak smile.

Blaine sighed one more time and started to speak: “New York was my dream. You know it was, but… when I started to look for universities, I don’t know. It was the thought of… New York is huge, but the thought of seeing you…,” the younger man’s voice started to break. He took another deep breath to calm himself. “After we stopped talking, the thought of seeing you on a street or in some café with somebody else became unbearable to me. And so I run… Like always,” he finished with a shaky laugh.

Kurt finally looked up, his heart aching with a new force: “Blaine, I – “

“Don’t. Just please don’t. You wanted me to be honest,” Blaine responded slightly raising his voice.

Once again cold silence took over the kitchen.

“Are you dating someone?” Blaine asked before he could register what he was doing, and immediately mentally kicked himself after the words had left his mouth.

“No…hmm… nothing worked out,” Kurt replied quietly a bit taken aback by Blaine’s sudden question. “And you?” he carefully added now thoughtfully studying the man in front of him.

“No, it didn’t work out,” Blaine mumbled flinching under Kurt’s eyes.

They were silent for another while again avoiding each other’s eyes.

“I think I should go,” Blaine suddenly announced rising from his chair. “Cooper wanted to hang out while he’s still in Ohio and –“

“I really missed you,” Kurt suddenly exclaimed his voice full with emotions.

Blaine froze in his place eyes fixed to the floor. He inhaled deeply doing everything in his power to keep his emotions together.

“I know we hurt each other, Blaine,” Kurt didn’t give up; using what he thought was his possibly last chance to say everything. “You messed up.” Blaine squeezed his eyes shut at this to prevent his tears from falling as he heard Kurt saying this. “And I did too,” Kurt continued. “I left you alone when you clearly needed someone, and it’s something I’ll never forgive myself. And our effort to stay friends… how can we be friends when we’re clearly meant to be something so much more?” he asked now almost desperately.

“Kurt, I…” Blaine searched for words as the tears in his eyes came dangerously close to falling freely over his cheeks. “I’ll call you, okay?” he finally said.

Kurt simply nodded brushing off the tears. “You promise?” he asked insecurely.

“I promise,” Blaine replied looking at the other man and smiled gently as he left the kitchen.

Two minutes later Kurt heard the opening and closing sound of the entrance door.