This is a continuation of Emily's (emiglee14097 on fanfiction) story 'Dear Kurt,'. It is Kurt's reaction to opening Blaine's letter. It is highly recommended that you read Emily's story first and I hope you enjoy! www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/7332983/1/Dear_Kurt
Author's Notes: Read Emily's story on fanfiction(dot)net!! www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/7332983/1/Dear_Kurt www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/7332983/1/Dear_Kurt
Blaine left the room and broke into a run. He wasn’t sure where exactly his destination was but he just ran. Blaine left Kurt – his one and only love - behind in the place where they once shared a fun and flirty time together. Gosh, why couldn’t he just have told Kurt then? Why did he have to be just a coward and let Kurt get taken away by someone else, when Kurt belonged to him?
‘Oh, why kid yourself, Blaine? Kurt never belonged to you. You were too much of a coward to tell him. He probably doesn’t even like you that way,’ Blaine thought to himself.
KKKKBBBB
Little did Blaine know, he never really did flick the letter into the fire properly. He also didn’t know that the person who the letter was addressed to had found it and was reading it at this very moment.
KKKKBBBB
Kurt opened the letter and started to read it.
Dear Kurt…
I don't know why I'm writing this considering I am never going to give it to you but I feel like I need to get some feelings out.
‘Feelings? What kind of feelings? Are they bad feelings? Does he hate me?’ Kurt thought, a bit worried as to what Blaine was talking about. He continued.
I'm stupid. I really am. I had so many different opportunities to tell you how I truly felt about you but I just went ahead and let each one slip through my fingers. That, along with many other things, is something I really regret. I should have told you when I had the chance. I should have taken a bit of my own advice and had some courage but now it's far too late.
‘Too late for what?’
I hate seeing you with him. I hate the fact that he's the one who kisses you everyday and not me. I hate practically smelling him on you whenever we hang out. I hate just being 'best friends' with you and nothing more. I hate whenever you mention his name when we're together. I just hate that it's him you're happy with and not me.
‘Oh Blaine, I hate being just best friends too. But...’
Kurt continued to read, thinking really hard about what Blaine was saying.
It kills, you know… this jealousy. It quite literally hurts. I sometimes feel like it's eating me alive. Am I not good enough for you, Kurt? What exactly does he have that I don't? I bet I could treat you one-hundred times better than he ever could if I was given the chance. Oh, yeah… I had the chance, I had plenty of chances, and I blew it. I almost forgot.
‘You are good enough, Blaine, and you have more than he ever will. You had my heart first...’
I wish I could go back, you know? I wish I could go back in time and just tell you how I felt instead of beating around the bush. I wish I could have just said, "Kurt Hummel, I am totally and completely in love with you," instead of just letting you go. I wish I could just say that you can't be with him because you're mine, but I can't because you aren't mine. You're his. And it breaks my heart just knowing that.
‘I might be his now but... I will always be yours somehow, Blaine...’
I love you, Kurt. I love you so much. I love you so much that I can't even think straight sometimes. I love you so much that it physically hurts me somehow. I love you so much that nothing seems important when you're around me. I love you so much that I occasionally cry at night. I love you so much that I can't hear a simple love song without thinking of you. I love you so much that I start to hate myself for not telling you any of this.
‘I love you, too... but as a friend, of course. I think...’
You're everything, Kurt, absolutely everything. You're beautiful. You're perfect. You're sexy. You're talented. You're smart. You're unique. You're funny. You're just… everything, Kurt, everything to me.
By this time Kurt was actually crying. He doesn’t remember
Luke ever saying anything like that to him... ever.
‘You’re everything to me, too, Blaine. I mean, you’re my best friend.’
You have no idea how much I want to kiss you when ever you're around. You have no idea how much I just want to reach out and hold you. You have no idea how much I just want to tell you I love you. You have no idea how much I just want to touch you, make you feel me with you. You have no idea how truly thankful I am that out of all those other boys you could have stopped on that staircase, you chose me. You just have no idea and I'm afraid you never will.
‘I have an idea now...’
One day, I will find somebody, somebody to love. But I honestly believe that no matter how much I love them, they won't be you. They will never be you. Ever.
Kurt’s tears fell harder and harder. His heart ached. He felt conflicted to say the least. He cared about Luke, he really did. But Blaine was there from the start. Blaine was his knight in shining armour. Blaine stole his heart first. And he just gave up on him and moved on just like that, without giving him the slightest chance. He needed to give him that chance. He needed to give his own heart that chance.
So much love, Blaine
‘I have to do this right...’
KKKKBBBB
Kurt strode throughout the school, in search of his boyfriend. They had to talk. He had to do this right...
KKKKBBBB
Kurt walked past a corner in the hall and bumped right into Luke, nearly knocking him off his feet. Luke smiled at him, “Hey, baby,” he greeted and leaned in for a kiss. Kurt turned his head and allowed the kiss to land on his cheek. Luke stepped back, still holding Kurt in his arms and gave him a weird and concerned expression. “Um...”
Kurt’s heart pounded. He felt terrible but he really had to do this right.
“Um... Luke, we need to talk,” Luke looked at Kurt with an unreadable face. Kurt cursed himself. ‘What a clich� line for a break up,’ Luke turned and walked away from Kurt and sat on a chair with his hands clasped together on the table. Kurt sat beside him.
“Oh, really? About what?” He asked. Kurt was a bit scared of the look in his eyes but he continued anyway. Courage.
“About us,” He answered slowly, hesitantly.
“Oh, ok, what about us?”His voice was laced with sarcastic cluelessness.
“I don’t know how to put this any other way, but... we have to break up” Guilt began pooling in Kurt’s stomach but he continued, “This isn’t working,” Kurt finished lamely.
“Really?” Luke asked, “So, this isn’t working? So, why was it working yesterday when I had my tongue down your throat and my hand in your pants?”
“Just because...” Kurt started, nervously. “I think I have feelings for someone else and I don’t want to hurt you. I still care about you but I just don’t like you the way I thought I did and I’m starting to think I never did in the first place,” A few tears began falling from Kurt’s blue eyes.
Luke’s glare softened and his anger dropped. He nodded understandingly. He knew what he was going through. He went through it before with his ex last year.
“Look, Kurt... I know how you feel. I’ve been through something like this. I’m not angry,” Kurt sighed in relief before Luke continued, “But I just want to know one thing...”
Kurt nodded, a bit confused, and wiped the tears from his eyes.
“What would you like to know?” He sniffled.
“Is it Blaine?” Kurt’s heart nearly stopped beating.
“Uh...” No more lying. Kurt took a deep breath and looked to the floor. “Y-yes,” He stuttered.
Luke sighed. “I thought so...” Kurt’s head snapped up so fast he felt a tad dizzy “I saw the way you used to look at each other and I honestly thought you two were already together but when I asked you, you said that you were single so I asked you out.”
Kurt nodded, trying to process all that was happening.
“But why have you suddenly realised your feelings for him? What took you so long?” Kurt looked to Luke.
“Well... I loved him since the first day we met. I don’t think the love went away, I guess I just disregarded it
when I thought he didn’t feel the same way. Then...” Kurt paused and looked to his blazer pocket at the letter he knew was in there. He sighed, “Then, I read a letter he wrote that he was trying to burn.”
Luke looked at Kurt with a confused expression, before reached into his pocket. Kurt flinched, hoping he wasn’t going to hurt him. Luke opened up the paper and read the letter inside. After a few minutes he looked at Kurt with misty eyes.
“You know what?” He asked, folding the letter up and putting it securely back in Kurt’s pocket, “He deserves you more than I do,” Kurt looked to Luke with a shocked face and an open mouth.
“W-what?”
“He loves you more than I ever could and he deserves you. He’s right. He will treat you one-hundred times better than I ever could, because his love is so pure and that letter just proved it.” They both stood and faced each other. Luke took a moment before wrapping Kurt up in a long hug.
“Go get him, Kurt. You deserve that much and if he ever hurts you just send him my way, okay?” Luke smiled gently and Kurt just smiled in reply.
“Thanks, Luke. You are the best,” Luke chuckled lightly to himself and waved Kurt off.
Kurt broke out into a run and went in search for Blaine. He checked the library, the senior common room, the dining hall, his dorm room, Wes and David’s dorm room, and the school yard, but he was nowhere to be found. Kurt gave up for the night and went to the Lima Bean to calm down and work out what he would even say to Blaine when he saw him the next day.
KKKKBBBB
Kurt hopped into his Navigator and took the short ride to the Lima Bean. He arrived there in fifteen minutes and he couldn’t wait to get his non-fat mocha. Kurt walked into the Lima Bean and got his coffee and then he headed back to the school because the Lima Bean held too many memories and it was making him more depressed and anxious. Kurt ended up back at school and just wandered aimlessly, coffee in hand. Before he knew it, he was at the staircase where he and Blaine first met. Kurt had a tear in his eye as he started to walk down the staircase when he noticed a mop of unruly curls and the smell of coffee that wasn’t his non-fat mocha. It was Blaine. He looked lost as he slowly descended the staircase. He moped around to himself. Kurt sped up. When he got to the bottom he tapped Blaine’s shoulder. Blaine was oblivious that he was being followed down the staircase, as if he was in his own world. Blaine turned around and the first thing that Kurt noticed was that his eyes were red and puffy and that he was holding a medium drip from the Lima Bean.
“Blaine,” Kurt started. He took a deep breath, nervous. He wasn’t so sure what to say. They just stood there for a moment, staring at each other.
“Yes?” Blaine returned. Kurt didn’t know what to do. He reached into his pocket and grabbed the letter, holding it up. Blaine’s eyes widened as he realised what it was.
“Uh... Where did you get that?” Blaine was worried at what Kurt thought when he read that. Would he feel the same? Would he slap him and say that he was being inappropriate and that he had a boyfriend? Would he want to stop being friends? The suspense was killing him. “J-just forget what you read, it was inappropriate of me. You have a boyfriend.”
“I can’t forget, Blaine and... I don’t have a boyfriend anymore...” (‘Not yet’ Kurt thought internally.)Blaine’s head snapped up when he heard what Kurt said.
“Did you mean what you said” Kurt asked softly. Blaine’s heart skipped a beat. ‘What!? Does Kurt feel the same way?’ Blaine thought to himself.
“Um... yeah, I did. Every word,” He said, almost inaudible, feeling a blush creeping up his neck. He went to turn away and run away, he couldn’t take the embarrassment of being turned down. But something stopped
him.
Kurt.
He grabbed Blaine’s hand and stopped him.
“Please, don’t run from me,” Kurt said quietly still holding onto Blaine’s hand. Blaine turned around. Their eyes met.
“I... I feel the same way,” Kurt said quietly. Now, he was blushing furiously. Blaine’s heart almost stopped. Kurt feels the same way? Blaine looked Kurt right in the eye, hazel meeting blue. He almost stopped breathing when Kurt started to lean forward. His lips were so close to his.
“I love you, Blaine Anderson, so much,” he whispered, quietly, before he pressed his lips to Blaine’s in a soft kiss. They pour all of their emotions into the action. They parted, foreheads still touching, looking into each other’s eyes.
“I love you, too, Kurt Hummel, more than I have loved anyone else.” They met in another, more passionate, kiss which soon turned out to be more needy and desperate; like the world was ending and this was going to be their last kiss. They parted once again; breathless this time.
“So, does this mean...” Kurt panted still looking Blaine in the eye. “We’re boyfriends?” Blaine finished as Kurt caught his breath. Kurt nodded taking a deep breath.
“Only if you want to be. I don’t want to rush you into anything you don’t want to do because that just leads to resentment a—,“ Blaine cut off Kurt’s little anxious ramble by pressing his lips against his with yet another kiss.
“I’d love to be your boyfriend, if you want me to be. It’d be my honour,” Kurt smiled. And stepped closer to Blaine wrapping his arms around Blaine’s neck while Blaine rested his hands on Kurt’s hips
“Of course, I want you to be, silly. I have wanted this since the moment I met you, in this very spot.” Blaine realised where they were and just gave a light chuckle.“I guess this is our spot right?” Blaine questioned with a face cracking grin.
“Sure is,” Kurt replied.
Kurt and Blaine shared one last tender kiss before taking each other’s hands and walking off towards their dorm room which they now shared as boyfriends’ not best friends.
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