Oh, to be young,
It sounds like so much fun,
Oh, the long wait for things to happen

If you were to ask Blaine Anderson this time what he thought his life would be like as he turned 17 then the words that he used would most likely be ‘lonely’. ‘Scary’. ‘Full of regret’. He would probably tell you how he thought he would graduate high school with a heart full of anger and head full of regret because he didn’t fix things- not only for himself, but that he didn’t stand up for every other kid that every felt the way he did, that went through what he did.

Whatever he told you of his senior year expectations, it would not be standing here hand in hand with a boy. A boy who walked in his life one day in October, spun his entire world on its axis and, unknowingly, appointed himself as the saviour who would make Blaine become the best that he could be; not only for himself, but for Kurt too.

Expectancy,
And you’re just waiting on me,
I wanna know what’s in your plans

Kurt. The fasion-savvy, often-snarky angel who would never understand the true lengths of Blaine’s gratitude towards him. A gratitude only made more intense by the knowledge that he never pushed Blaine into anything- not letting his guard down, not facing his demons down, not fighting back against all the regrets and anger he felt about himself. No, Kurt hadn’t even consciously moved Blaine to accomplishing the things he never thought he would be able to, he’d just been there, inspiring Blaine with his unfailing strength and self-belief.

If you're an ocean
Then I wanna jump right in
If you're a hand grenade
Then I'll pull the pin

The first time Blaine told Kurt he was in love with him was in The Lima Bean, the coffee shop they frequented for their coffee dates and after-school catchups. Kurt had just returned from his trip from New York and was sat across from Blaine detailing the events of the trip, his entire face lit up by the fact he’d managed to get out of Lima, Ohio and experience things. Blaine knew the best experience had been the acceptance Kurt had felt. He never said it explicitly, but Blaine knew that the open-mindedness of New Yorkers had been an eye-opener to Kurt as to how life could be after graduation and in the future. In their future.

Blaines chest had constricted when Kurt rang him a few nights into the trip, speaking all too fast about the wonders of New York and his adoration for it and asking Blaine how he would feel about college together in New York. Just the fact that Kurt even considered Blaine as part of his future still blew Blaine away; it made his entire body thrum with the overwhelming burst of happiness with how Kurt made him feel, made him feel like literally jumping up and down screaming just relieve his body of the feeling.

Life's moving faster now,
I'm older here,
But younger somehow

Blaine felt Kurt tugging on his hand slightly, bringing him out of his reflections as he started walking, looking back at Blaine to both reassure him and check that this was still okay. Taking a deep breath and closing his eyes for a second, he fell into step with Kurt, feeling once again overwhelmed with the inspiration of Kurt’s bravery and strength.

They didn’t speak as they walked, both too lost in their separate thoughts to form conversation. This was sometimes what Blaine loved most about the two of them as a couple: they didn’t need to talk always. They could just be near each other, feeding off each others energy and emotions and just allow themselves to get lost in the feeling of their connection, a tether that seemed to be made of steel, unbreakable, even in their weaker moments.

Head full of fear,
And it makes me break,
Please let me find you

The realisation of what he was about to do hit Blaine like a bucket of ice water as they rounded the corner towards their destination. It felt like he’d built this up in his head for so long that he’d distorted what it really was and had made it into something completely different. He could feel his breath quickening, his chest constricting with the fear overwhelming him, his grip on Kurt hand becoming tighter, afraid that if he didn’t hold on tight that he’d slip away from him and Blaine would be left in this dark abyss without any direction.

Please let me know,
Just what you want,
Please let me see,
What you need me to be

Kurt noticed Blaine’s sudden apprehension the second the grip on Kurt’s hand tightened, could see the fear written all over his face, in the tension of his body language. He stopped walking and turned on his heel to face Blaine, trying to keep his features soft but his eyes searching Blaine’s for the courage that he knew was in there, imploring him to reach down inside and remind himself why he was doing this. An unspoken plea of don’t do this if you’re not ready.

And somehow, it was like that was what Blaine needed. He needed to feel Kurt’s reassurance, he needed to know that it was going to be okay. It had been a long road to this point, Blaine working so hard to straighten his own issues out before feeling confident enough in his own flaws to ask for Kurts help.

Oh, if you could see in me,
You might be kinda scared

Somewhere along the way, Blaine had his break-through epiphany; he needed to accept his own past (and the regrets that came with that) before he could ask anybody else to accept it. He wasn’t ashamed of who he was anymore, he wasn’t ashamed of running away when he had no other choice when he felt trapped, like being a locked room searching for fresh air and not being able to break through the walls to get it.

Oh, if I could just believe,
You'll take me anywhere

The look in Kurt’s eye gave Blaine the courage he needed. It was him who took Kurt’s hand and started leading them to their destination. He held his head up high and walked with pride, not only for who he was but for having the privilege of holding the hand of this boy who was amazing beyond a level of belief. It almost made him laugh with bitterness, the way that people who direct slurs at Kurt for being who he was and they would never even get within an inch of learning how truly breath-taking this boy was, not only in his angellic looks, but in that he had the most pure heart Blaine had ever had the privilege of knowing.

I'll wait right here, all night for you,
To let me in and I'll run run run run,
Run right back to you, I'll run

They reached the door to their destination and paused outside for a moment, just peered in. Blaine felt Kurt’s fingers twitch in the grasp of his hand, encouraging him. Blaine allowed a smile to grace his face as he stepped through the door, holding onto Kurt’s hand just a fraction tighter and he looked sideways at him and smiled at him, the first true smile since the sun had risen that day, showing Kurt that he wanted this, he needed this.

He felt a few pairs of eyes on him as they entered the big wooden doors, people huddled in small groups turning their attention to the boys holding hands with such pride. The smile on Blaine’s face only widened at this, however. Because Blaine Anderson was back in public school and he wasn’t scared anymore, not as long as he had his Kurt standing right next to him. He may not have realised it, but that was all he’d ever needed.