I'll Be

Klaine One-shot

After 4x04 “The Break-up”

Blaine regrets what he's done and tries to get Kurt back. Takes place in NYC.

The song is “I'll Be” by Edwin McCain.

Kurt

For a moment, the phones I answer for Isabelle quiet down, and I have no other task assigned to me. My thoughts drift, it's the first time in weeks I’ve let myself. Immediately I think of Blaine. I think of all of our happy times, and the times before we got together, my giant, obvious, crush. I smile, and my eyes turn watery. Mixed emotions. I don't know what to do. I love him still so much. He hurt me, in the worst way. Was it my fault? Maybe I provoked it, but I didn't force him to do it. He's tried so hard to talk to me. To explain. I think I'd cave if I heard his voice. I'd go running back to him, do I want to? Yes. It's pathetic, he betrayed me, but at least he'd owned up to almost immediately.

I'm snapped out of my thoughts when I hear my cell phone buzz on my desktop. Of course. Blaine again. I slowly extend my hand toward it, and when my hand is hovering right above it, I quickly snap my hand back.

Blaine

Please pick up this time, I think. The phone rings and rings, until I get his voice mail, which is the only way I've heard Kurt's voice in weeks. I leave another voice mail.

“Hey, It's me....Blaine. Kurt, I just...miss you. I know I have no right to want us to be together, but I love you Kurt. There's not one second I don't think about you, hate myself, and wish I could take it back. Please call me. Give me just two minutes? Please? I love you.” I hit end. I close my eyes and fight back tears. The warning bell rings, and I start to run to glee club.

* * *

Sitting at my computer, I log on to Skype. I scroll through my contacts, and see Kurt online. My mouse hovers over his name. Do I call? I already know he won't answer. I wonder who he's talking to. A new guy? I hope not. I hope it's Finn, or Burt. Him talking to a new guy would hurt me to much;4 although, I do deserve it. I click out of Skype, and open up my browser, type in “delta.com” and look for flights to New York. He can ignore my calls, but it'll be harder to dodge me in person.

Kurt

I'm Skyping with Dad when I see Blaine's icon change to show he's online. I get distracted, stop listening to whatever story I was being told, and stare at his icon. I wonder who he logged on to call. I half hope it's me.

Dad notices, and sighs. “Kurt,” I look up. “You need to talk to him. You need to sort things out. Finn has been hanging around him, he says he's miserable. Just talk to him. Even if you don't get back together, you'll both have some closure. You need it, he needs. Can you take my advice? Just this once?” I half smile, and nod slowly. “I love you, Kurt. Don't you ever forget that, I'm always here for you. I have to go now. I love you.”

“I love you too,” He ends the call, and I think about what he said, about calling Blaine, for closure. I look over to the side, and see Blaine has already logged off.

I crawl into bed, pull my blanket over my head, and cry myself to sleep. Just like every other night, since Blaine broke my heart.

* * *

Work sucks. I mean, I love it. I feel at home working here, like I was really meant for this all along, and that's why I didn't get into NYADA, but today I'm just off. I can't get my dad's words out of my head. I really do need to call Blaine. We both need closure. I can't do it here though, I need to be alone, and he has to be home from school. It's 2:45, about an hour before he'd be home.

After a couple minutes of internal debate, I head into Isabelle's office. She's deep into her work and doesn't notice me enter. “Knock knock..!” I say to grab her attention.

She looks up slowly, “Hey Kurt, what do you need?” She gives me a tired smile.

“I'm not feeling so hot, mind if I head home a bit early?”

“Of course! Go home. I'll see you on Monday. Feel better Kurt!” Without another word she turns back to her work, and I'm officially clear to leave. I walk back to my desk, log out of my computer, forward the phone, and gather my things.

In the elevator I go over the things I plan to say to Blaine on the phone, and I decide not to let him talk until I've shared my feelings with him. I don't want a bunch of apologizes, I want him to know how badly he'd hurt me.

Blaine

I told my mother where I was heading this morning, she insisted on driving me to the airport, and swore not to say a word to my father, she also said she'd cover for me. I'm lucky to have at least one supportive parent. I don't know what I'd do without her.

My plane landed at noon, and since then I've been trying to find the building where Kurt works. I remember the address but when I asked for directions the person laughed at me, so I got in a cab. I gave the driver the address, and in traffic, it took us awhile to get there. I'm not really sure what I'll do when I see him. I tried to plan it out in my head, but I know it will never work out the way I want it to. I just hope we can work this out.

Now I'm standing at the entrance of a huge building, where Kurt has been working, and waiting. I look at every single person that leaves or enters. None have been Kurt, and then the worst thought hits me. What if I see him leave with another guy? I think it might actually kill me on the spot.

I made sure to wear Kurt's favorite outfit on me, and his favorite cologne. I check the time, 2:57. It's going to be a long time until Kurt gets off of work. I sigh, and continue to watch, just in case.

Time is moving so slowly, I wonder if it's stopped, but I would say with all of these people walking by in a hurry, time is ticking by just like it always does. I take a deep breath and try to settle my emotions. And then I see him. He's emerging the building from the farthest door from me, looking down, and walking hurriedly in the opposite direction. My voice catches in my throat. Do I run after him? Do I call out his name?

Before I can think to much I shout, “Kurt!” He stops instantly, frozen in place. “Kurt?” I call again. I walk up to him slowly, he's still facing away from me, unmoving. “Kurt, please. Please just look at me.” I beg. I see him untense a bit, and he slowly turns around.

When I see his face, I'm so taken aback by his beauty, I forgot the effect he has on me, I melt like butter. He looks surprised and angry at the same time. Okay, I deserve it. I deserve for him to hate me, he should hate, even I hate me; then why do his eyes turn sad after the shock leaves? “Kurt please. I need to talk to you, explain. Please. I want to work this out. We've worked things like this out before. Please Kurt.”

His response shocks me, “No.”

“No? What do you mean 'no.'?” I think you could hear my heart break in my voice.

“No. How can you expect to show up at my job, after weeks of me not picking up your calls, and expect to talk? When I wanted to talk to you, I would've called you. I needed time to sort things out, I needed time to determine if what you did killed my love for you. Do you know how painful that was for me? There has not been one night that I haven't cried myself to sleep. I'm distracted at work, Rachel said it's hard to hang out with me now. My own best friend doesn't want to be around me because I sour her mood. 'I'm going through a break up too, but you don't see me wallowing.' She actually said that to me. Can you believe that? Every time you call me, I hear your ringtone, and see your picture, I die a little bit inside. You betrayed me, Blaine.” He's eyes have grown watery through his speech, and now a couple tears escape his eyes. It hurts to know I'm the cause of them. “You threw all the trust I had for you out of the window. How can we be together, if I can't trust you? I know I was selfish when I was talking to Chandler, but I never planned on acting on it. Ever. With your whole response from it, I never ever expected you to do that to me. I never was going to do anything to hurt you like that again. You were everything to me! Obviously I wasn't as important to you.” He turned and started to walk away, wiping tears from his eyes.

Before I know what I'm doing, I'm singing. No music to back me up, just me. I'm only singing for him.

The strands in your eyes that color them wonderful

Stop me and steal my breath

Emeralds from mountains thrust toward the sky

Never revealing their depth

And tell me that we belong together

Dress it up with the trappings of love

I'll be captivated, I'll hang from your lips

Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above

And I'll be your cryin' shoulder

I'll be love's suicide

And I'll be better when I'm older

I'll be the greatest fan of your life

Rain falls angry on the tin roof

As we lie awake in my bed

You're my survival, you're my livin' proof

My love is alive and not dead

Dress it up with the trappings of love

I'll be captivated, I'll hang from your lips

And I'll be better when I'm older