It had been three years.

He was trying to move on.

Okay, so maybe he wasn’t trying as hard as he could.

Blaine still was not accustomed to being all alone. Growing up, he always had his family around. In school, he made sure to surround himself with friends. Now though, he was all by himself. Sure his seclusion was all self imposed, but he just didn’t want to be around people anymore. He was sick of the pitying looks everyone threw him.

Three years and still words from that night echoed around in his head.

“I’m leaving Blaine. And since you won’t come with I-I don’t know if this can continue.”

Blaine always knew he would never be good enough for Kurt, but that doesn’t mean that he didn’t love him with everything he had. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to go with Kurt to live out their dreams in New York. It was just that he simply couldn’t.

Blaine’s father unexpectedly passed away right before Blaine’s graduation from high school. It was a car accident, some stupid drunk driver wasn’t paying attention. His fathers death meant one thing. Blaine was now expected to take over his fathers law firm, after going through law school of course.

So that was why Blaine couldn’t go to New York with Kurt. He was forced to go to Ohio State to study law and to be close to his mother. He hated his life now. Hated the memories of his past that still haunted him. Mostly, he hated his father. His father never loved him anyways. Then he had to go and die and take every thing that made Blaine happy away from him. He blamed his dead father for all of his unhappiness and hoped he was rotting in hell, if there was such a place.

As he lay in bed, ready for another sleepless night, he couldn’t shake the memories away. The last conversation he had with the man he loved still swirled around in his head.

“I love you Blaine. I do. And I’m so-so sorry. I just can’t be apart from you and still pretend it will work. I don’t think I would be able to not see you everyday. It’s just easier this way. For both of us.”

Blaine desperately wanted to make it work. He pleaded with Kurt, said everything he could to make this conversation end. He couldn’t lose the most important thing. He’d already lost so much, but losing Kurt was like losing half of himself. More than half, if he was being honest with himself. Blaine was nothing without Kurt.

Then he thought of the final words Kurt ever said to him, the words that would be burned into his brain forever.

“I’m so sorry. But please don’t be mad at me. Please find someone else. There’s tons of other people out there that deserve you more than I do. You’re perfect Blaine, and you deserve someone that can appreciate it.”

And with a kiss to the forehead, Kurt was gone. Of course Blaine tried everything he could think of to get him back. He called, text, showed up at his house, call all their friends, but nothing worked. He knew that no matter how many guys he met, nobody would live up to Kurt, and Kurt was crazy for suggesting it. Blaine knew he wasn’t some silly teenager who thought they were in love. He knew what they had was more real then the fairy-tales he used to read.

Blaine turned over in his bed again, trying to slip into unconsciousness, but knowing he wasn’t lucky enough for that. His thoughts of his boyfriend, no ex-boyfriend kept him up every night. Which is why he cut practically everyone out of his life. All of his friends were Kurt’s friends first, and he couldn’t bear the thought of what would happen if he heard any detail of the fabulous life Kurt Hummel was living in New York...without Blaine.

Wes and David stopped by every now and then, but Blaine thought that was more for his mothers sake then for their desire to see the wreck Blaine became. Going to Dalton did teach him something though. Blaine had a facade that could fool anyone, except those closest to him. Which is why he never made new friends.

He had acquaintances for when the loneliness became too much, and of course the random one-night stands he sometimes had. He tried dating, he really did. There was a time where he was so angry at Kurt for making him like this, and angry at himself for letting himself slip away. So he tried dating the first interesting guy that game along. After a week though, Blaine realized he was comparing the guy to Kurt. And nobody was as good as Kurt.

The only good thing Blaine had left in his life was his music. After the breakup, he learned to play guitar. Soon after, he started writing songs and discovered he was actually really good at it. He never let anyone else hear his songs though, they were too depressing and he knew it. The facade he made was the one he had in high school was what everyone else saw. The happy-go-lucky guy that sang Top 40 songs, jumped on furniture, and had every Katy Perry cd in his car. He thought he pulled it off well, and nobody seemed to question his desire to be alone most of the time.

There was one Katy Perry song that he had become quite addicted to. He always found himself humming the notes, or singing random lines as memories of his last conversation with Kurt played through his mind.

“You said move on, where do I go?” Blaine sang softly to his empty room before groaning in frustration. He glance at his clock and saw it was four in the morning. He groaned again, realizing he had to be awake in two more hours to be ready for class. He rolled onto his back and did some deep breathing exercised he found online. Finally, he drifted off into a restless sleep.

Blaine woke two hours later, hardly feeling rested and knowing he would need a lot of coffee to get through his day. A small spark of excitement touched him though. It was Thursday, which meant he only had two classes today and he would be playing in a cafe tonight. It wasn’t the most glamorous of places, but there weren’t many places with open mic nights. Mostly it was where the hipsters went to wail out their sorrows, or literature students who thought they could write poetry would recite their poems in a monotone voice.

With the help from his Dalton-facade, he made it through his classes without thinking too much about what kept him up during the nights. He was on his way to get his third coffee of the day when he received a text from David saying that him and Wes were coming to watch him sing tonight. Well. That was unexpected, but definitely welcomed. They hadn’t come to watch him since the first night he performed at the cafe.

Blaine felt a sudden surge of something that resembled happiness, but he knew real happiness and this didn’t come close. He knew how much his two friends cared for him, and it was touching that after everything, they were still willing to put up with Blaine. He was lucky to have them in his life.

Later that evening, and with a slight bounce in his step, he walked into the small cafe with his guitar case in hand. He quickly scanned the room to see if his friends were here yet, but saw no trace of them. He shrugged to himself and figured they were running a little late. Blaine went through the usual process of singing himself up for open mic night. He was allowed to sing two songs and was third on the list. He already had his songs picked out, one upbeat song and one slower song that wasn’t too depressing. This was his usual set, and people seemed to like it.

Blaine sent a quick text to Wes that he would be going on in probably twenty minutes, so they better hurry. He quickly received a text that they were running late, but would make it as fast as they could. Blaine smiled and turned his phone off to watch the performers before him. When he was next in line, he was allowed ‘backstage’ which was really just a supply room that he used to make sure his guitar was properly tuned.

Finally, he heard the applause that signalled the girl before him was finished. He left the supply closet and made his way onstage. Once he was seated on the stool and adjusted the microphone to his mouth, he put on his crowd pleasing smile and looked around as he addressed the people in the room. “Hi everybody. My name is Blaine Anders-”

He cut off mid-sentence as his eyes locked with the most beautiful pair of eyes he has ever seen. A pair of eyes he has not seen in three years. The eyes of Kurt Hummel, staring back at him with a mixture of sadness and wonder.

Blaine didn’t know if he was dreaming or not. He had this fantasy many times before. Visions of Kurt coming back into his life. Of them, running off into the sunset and living happily ever after.

So maybe he had finally lost his mind. But if losing his mind meant he had hallucinations of the most beautiful man in world, he didn’t mind so much.

Blaine came back to himself and realized he was still on stage with people looking at him expectantly. He made a last minute decision to change his song. There was only one song he wanted to sing right now. “Anderson. Bl-Blaine Anderson. I’m going to try something a little new tonight. I hope you all enjoy.”

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath to steady himself. When he opened his eyes, he stared right back at the gorgeous man that may or may not actually be here right now. Tonight, he didn’t care about pleasing the crowd. This was for Kurt. He needed to know how Blaine felt. He played the opening cords and let himself be taken away by the music.

Comparisons are easily done
Once you’ve had a taste of perfection
Like an apple hanging from a tree
I pick the ripest one
I still, got the seed

Blaine hadn’t realized he tore his gaze away to watch his fingers play. He looked up again and held Kurt’s gaze.

You said move on where do I go?
I guess second best is all I will know.

‘Cuz when I’m with him
I am, thinking of you
Thinking of you
What you would do it
You were the one
Who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I
Was looking into your eyes.

Blaine was pouring all of his emotions into the song. He had sung this to himself for three years and now he got to sing it to the person he was still madly in love with. Would always be in love with.

You’re like an Indian summer
In the middle of winter
Like a hard candy
With a surprise center
How do I get better
Once I’ve had the best
You said there’s
Tons of fish in the water
So the waters I will test.
He kissed my lips
I tasted your mouth
He pulled me in
I was disgusted with myself.


Blaine sang the last part with a bit of anger. Remembering his sort relationship and all of his hookups and how wrong they all felt. He really did feel disgusting every time he kissed someone that wasn’t Kurt, let someone else put their hands on him. He had to look away from Kurt as he sang the next chorus before he got too choked up. This was the best feeling he’s had in a while. Even if Kurt wasn’t actually here, it felt good to let his feelings go for once. It felt amazing to forget his perfect appearance and just let himself feel. He was reaching the climax of the song and felt his voice rising in volume and emotion.

You’re the best
And yes I do regret
How I could let myself
Let you go
Now the lessons learned
I touched and I was burned
Oh I think you should know.

Blaine held the last note a bit longer then needed. But that verse always meant so much to him. He regretted everyday that he let Kurt walk out of his life. Even if he thought he did everything at the time, the answer was clear now. He should have followed Kurt to New York. He always said he would do anything for him, but he didn’t do the one thing that Kurt needed. Blaine was so stupid. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes to finish off the song.

Oh I wish that I
Was looking into your eyes
Looking into your eyes
Looking into your eyes
Oh won’t you walk through
And bust through the door
And take me away
Oh, no more mistakes

‘Cuz in your eyes I’d like to stay.

Blaine finished and stared into the eyes he really did want to stay and get lost in. He vaguely heard the applause, or realized that he had tears streaming down his face. He saw that Kurt was crying too, and wanted nothing more then to kiss the tears away. But then Kurt abruptly stood and fled the room, leaving Blaine frozen onstage.

He sat there for a moment before his brain caught up. He stood and tossed his guitar off himself, not caring if it broke or hit someone sitting close by. He only cared about leaping offstage and running after Kurt. There was no way he would let him get away this time, no matter what it took.

Blaine rushed out into the chilly air and looked around frantically. Then there, about half a block away, Kurt was walking away, and walking away fast. Blaine’s body snapped into motion, yelling out a desperate, “Kurt! Please wait,” before sprinting down the sidewalk.

Kurt stopped but didn’t turn at the voice, and Blaine stopped about ten feet away with his hand reaching out, wanting to touch and make sure this was real. He was breathless from his short sprint and took another tentative step forward but Kurt still hadn’t turned around. Maybe this was just a fantasy, and he’d been chasing someone that wasn’t the man of his dreams.“Kurt?”

Then finally, FINALLY, Kurt turned around, slowly, and Blaine’s breath caught in his throat. He was more beautiful then he had remembered, and more beautiful then any fantasy of his could ever create. Even with the tears running down his perfect skin, he was the most beautiful thing Blaine had ever seen. He reached his arm out again and let it hang awkwardly in the air.

Kurt was staring at Blaine, his eyes roaming all over his face, as if trying to re-memorize the features. “I-you...beard.”

Even though it was barely a sentence, it was music to Blaine’s ears. It was true though, Blaine had long since ditched the clean-shaven face he once tried so hard to maintain. He took another step forward, letting his hand fall to his side as he stared. “Are you...is this real? Are you actually here?”

Kurt shook his head as more tears flowed down his face. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have..I just..I ran into Wes when I was back home and he told me you- and I just..” He took a deep breath and tried to continue, “I know I have no right to be here. But he said you sang and I really wanted to-” He cut himself off as a sob broke through.

Blaine stepped even closer so they were now directly in front of each other. He was almost scared to reach out, afraid that Kurt wouldn’t actually be here. “Kurt. Do you have a boyfriend?”

Kurt looked at Blaine, confused, before giving a tiny shake of his head. That small shake sent Blaine into action. He gently placed a hand on Kurt’s face before leaning in and pressing their lips together. Honestly, he probably would have kissed Kurt regardless of his answer, but this was perfect. As soon as their lips met, everything felt right. Everything was as it should be. What made it more perfect was that Kurt was kissing back. They were both clinging to each other as if afraid the other would disappear.

There was no need for words right now. There would be time for all the conversations they needed to have. Kurt would eventually tell Blaine how he was just as miserable as Blaine was. Blaine would eventually tell Kurt he would do anything to be with him in New York, even if it meant quitting law school, which he hated anyways. They would fill each other in on all the details of their lives the past three years. They would work through all the heartbreak they have both felt.

For now though, all they needed was their lips pressed tightly together. The wordless promise to never leave each other. And the rapid beating of their broken hearts, slowly repairing as they fell back in love.