Feb. 24, 2015, 6 p.m.
While My Heart's Still Beating
Sometimes it doesn't make sense, but you can find the perfect moments anyway. A 6x08 reaction ficlet in three small pieces: 100, 200, and 300 words. Title from Roxy Music's song of the same name. Mild sexual situations.
M - Words: 574 - Last Updated: Feb 24, 2015 511 0 0 0 Categories: Drama, Romance, Characters: Blaine Anderson, Kurt Hummel,
1.
"Do you want to—?" Blaines breathless, serious; his hands are on Kurts belt. Its clear what hes offering, clear what he wants.
Kurt aches for Blaine with the same urgency that drove his feet the two miles it took to get here, but— He glances around; the ghost of Karofsky lingers too much. "Not here. Can we go somewhere else?"
"Yes," Blaine says. He grabs his bag, his car keys.
Outside, "Wheres your car?" Blaine asks.
"I ran here. From the Lima Bean."
"You ran?"
"I couldnt wait." Kurt knows it doesnt make sense. He just had to run.
2.
All is silent at 11:23AM on a weekday in Kurts old home. He wraps the soiled condom in a tissue and puts it in the trash.
Amid the days cool light, Blaine is all warm hues upon the white sheets of Kurts bed. Kurt returns to him with a touch and a kiss, and slips into Blaines arms as perfectly as if Blaine were a bespoke suit.
His body tells him this is enough: theyre done, fixed, renewed. Theyve proved themselves together in intimate connection. Sharing this naked, open-eyed pleasure still feels like healing.
It would be easy to stay in that feeling, let it sweep away every other thing. Hes done that many times.
The words are harder. Its like theres a trapdoor between his heart and his mouth sometimes. Or like an emotion once swallowed cannot be dredged back up and spoken. It doesnt make any sense. But hes learning, and he knows where he wants to start. Blaine cant hear the unspoken things, no matter how true they feel inside Kurt.
He closes his eyes, and Blaines heart throbs beneath his palm: loving, constant, and safe. "Im so sorry it took me so long to get here."
3.
At some point during the reception, Kurt reaches for Blaine and doesnt find him. Its late, and the dancing's been winding down. Happy and emotional pairs—and many more than a little bit tipsy—have begun peeling away, leaving in taxis for the nearby hotel.
Kurt spies Tina sitting with Mike; her feet are bare resting on the edge of his chair. Mikes hand rests on her ankle. They arent talking, but theyre smiling. It looks like a comfortable pause.
He approaches cautiously. "Have you seen Blaine?"
Tina squints, says, "No?"
"I saw him with his Mom," says Mike. "He went to put her in a cab with Santanas family."
"Thanks," Kurt says.
Kurt steps outside and watches the tail lights of the cab wind off into the dark. He doesnt see Blaine.
Slowly his eyes adjust, and Kurt circles around the barn until he does, several meters away, standing in the field alone, his back to Kurt. Kurt smiles, and the grass breaks beneath his feet.
Its like a memory, the fantasy of this day back when he daydreamed about it. Neither of them is in the right suit. The rings on their fingers are not the ones he imagined. Theyre standing outside a barn in Indiana. He didnt get to re-propose, not the way he wanted. It doesnt make sense they did it now, like this. But hes not frightened; he doesnt regret it, and he trusts that he wont.
Overhead the stars are clear, and the band of the milky way is bright. Infinity stretches above and Blaine waits ahead. They didnt sing together either, not the way theyd once planned.
So Kurt does, a private overture to announce his presence, "Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place."
Blaine turns around, and, for that moment, it is.