"Hey there handsome" a voice whispers and Blaine jumps with a high pitched scream, whirling around with wide eyes. His shoulders slump, a blush spreading across his cheeks as he realises the voice belongs to Kurt, currently suppressing his laughter as he hangs precariously upside down from a sea green silk. "You're getting too good at that." Blaine chuckles nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. "You're just scared I could overtake your position as the Un Spectacle de Joie's star performer." Kurt sniggers teasingly as he tightens his grip and rights himself, feet firmly wrapped in the strands of fabric as he hovers just above the ground. Blaine watches as Suzie scrutinizes Kurt's grip, posture and poise, "I would feel more threatened if you were actually a circus performer" he comments playfully.

"You won't be for much longer" Kurt blurts out, his grip slipping as he rushes to take it back, realising that what was meant to be a teasing remark had hit a little too close to home. "Right well, not for much longer." Blaine reiterates with a smile that doesn't reach his amber eyes, turning on his heel and heading back out toward his tent. "Blaine, wait!" Kurt calls but Blaine just waves him off. "Come and find me later when you're done here" he yells back over his shoulder "You're doing great Kurt. You look amazing up there, keep it up!"

~*~

"Alright down now Kurt!"

"But Suz what abou?"

"You're distracted; there is nothing more dangerous than a lapse in concentration. Down, Kurt don't make me lower the scaffolding." She admonishes as a pouting Kurt tumbles to the floor gracefully. "Good posture" Suzie comments, unable to help herself "bend your knees more when you touch ground and point your toes, you're a dancer Kurt not a lumberjack."

Kurt lowers himself to the floor across from his teacher, stretching out the aching limbs he's been working since noon. He relishes every minute he gets to spend on the silks but today he is grateful Suzie decided to force him back onto solid ground. Even he could admit that he felt his grip slip as he let his thoughts tie themselves into knots. "You're doing well Kurt" Suzie compliments sincerely, acting now more as a friend than a teacher "with a bit more practice Mr DeLione would ask you to join us." Kurt laughs hysterically for about five minutes before he realises she's serious.

"I couldn't, I have my job and New York, my dad and my family. I can't just give it all up and turn my back on them." Kurt huffs, burying his face in his hands. "You can't?" she remarks with an eyebrow raised "Blaine seems to think he can. After all that's what leaving here means for him, leaving his job, his home, his real family." Kurt feels his stomach churn, feeling sick as the realisation washes over him. He's been so selfish, so caught up in dreams of Blaine and him back in New York, tailored suits and a boy on his arm for every fashion event in the city.

"I'm not nearly good enough" he mutters.

"Don't be silly Kurt, you mastered the basics in mere days you could be greater than all of us."

"I'm not greater than Blaine." Kurt says quickly, wondering if anyone could be more skilled at his art than Blaine. "Blaine isn't an aerial performer, and do you know why?"

"No"

"He's fucking terrified of heights. We can only just get him up a ladder and even just half way up is a push. No Blaine has his feet firmly on the ground, playing with fire and a little bit of acrobatics is apparently much less dangerous. He does the music for the other acts sometimes too; the man likes to keep busy."

"How can he do so much? Have so much talent?" Kurt mumbles in awe.

"The circus is his life, his passion for performing lies here along with every childhood dream he's ever had. You can take the boy from the fire but you can't take the fire from the boy," Kurt opens his mouth to speak up but Suzie quietens him quickly "I know you wouldn't want to, but how can you be so sure he'll thrive in a place like New York? Since he was a teenager he's been travelling, he came with us as soon as he graduated, and he's twenty two now. He's happy with you Kurt, incandescently so but fitting into your city slick life will be unimaginably hard, and flames don't burn so bright once they're stifled."

Kurt nods solemnly, the truth of Suzie's words ringing clear amongst the hows and whys and whens. "Thank you, for today" he says quietly, hugging her tightly "I think I need to talk to Blaine."

~*~

When Kurt gets to Blaine's tent he finds Blaine curled up on his cot asleep. Unsurprised Kurt curls up around him content to wait him out until he wakes up of his own accord. Blaine trains early in the morning leaving him time to sleep in the early afternoon before waking up later to maintain his equipment and do any last minute safety checks before his nightly performances. He's dedicated and thorough, working meticulously to make sure the Un Spectacle de Joie really is a wonderland. It's obvious why the ring master favours him, though he wouldn't dare say it.

The more Kurt thinks about it, nose buried in the unruly hair at the base of Blaine's neck that smells so sweetly of him, about the Blaine that he's seen over the past week, so alive and in his element. The thought of being the cause of its disappearance is crushing. He squeezes his arms around Blaine's waist and he snuffles in his sleep, snuggling back into Kurt's chest like a little boy and not a twenty two year old man. "God you're adorable." Kurt chuckles and Blaine stirs abruptly. "Mmm wha-? Kurt?" He mumbles, shifting carefully to turn over and face Kurt. "Oh no no no you can sleep it's fine" Kurt protests, noticing that Blaine still looks tired. "Nope," Blaine replies landing a smacking kiss on Kurt's cheek "don't wanna, need to talk."

He's sleep warm and relaxed, curls that are getting a little too long splayed out across the pillows and flopping into his eyes. Kurt smiles a little, a small quirk of his lips as he brushes the wayward curls off of Blaine's forehead. He lets his fingers linger in the soft strands, eyes wandering to take in Blaine's wide honey eyes, rose lips and sharp jaw dappled with stubble. The cogs turn in his mind as he takes him in, brow furrowing slightly and Blaine tuts instead of reprimanding him. "You're thinking too loud." Blaine says with soft eyes and a nervous smile. "I don't want you to give this up." Kurt blurts out and Blaine is taken aback for a moment before he heaves a sigh.

"Kurt we talked about this."

"I know Blaine, I know, but you're giving up everything but what am I giving up? Nothing, absolutely nothing." Kurt rushes out before Blaine can protest because he knows if he allows him a chance to speak this time around he'll convince him that everything's okay, even if it isn't. "You know I'd do anything for you right? It doesn't matter." Blaine says sincerely, but Kurt can see the miniscule amount of doubt flickering in his expression, like he's battling to convince both himself and Kurt. "It does matter Blaine!" frustrated, Kurt sits up looking down on Blaine and ringing his hands in his lap.

"Maybe you should just stay."

"Kurt- wha-what are you saying?" Blaine whispers, sitting up and taking Kurt's hands in his. "I'm saying that you belong here Blaine. I'm sure you'd love New York but this is where your heart is."

"Do you-" Blaine lets out a shuddering breath, squaring his shoulders "Do you not want to be with me anymore."

"Blaine I-" The bed creaks as Kurt shifts uncomfortably, shrinking under Blaine's watery gaze. He tries futilely to interrupt but Blaine's wide, pleading eyes stop him in his tracks "Because it's okay Kurt, if that's what you want. I-I just want you to be happy."

Blaine swoops forward and kisses him hard and desperate and shaking. He kisses hard, licking, biting and sucking at Kurt's lips until his mouth drops open with a gasp. Fingertips push their way under his shirt, hands roaming and gripping at his waist. A high whine bubbles up from Blaine's chest and Kurt flips them, pulling back and staring down at Blaine sprawled across the bed beneath him, flushed and panting. His eyes are shut, eyelashes fluttering minutely as he just waits, hands gripped tight to the sheets.

A puff of warm breath caresses the shell of Blaine's ear as Kurt leans in close. Blaine shivers under him, barely resisting the urge to arch up and pull him closer. "You," Kurt whispers, placing a sucking kiss on the sensitive skin just below Blaine's ear "are an idiot." Blaine lets out a moan that ends with a squeak, his eyes flying open as he stutters "w-what?"

"I want you," Kurt whispers back with a smile in his voice, "of course I still want to be with you." He continues, trailing down the skin of Blaine's throat, leaving kisses and hickeys in his wake. He glances back up at Blaine and never before has he seen such a look of both pure bliss and utter relief.

"Oh thank god." He breathes out with a shaky smile, lips parting as Kurt unbuttons his shirt. They take their time, fingers pressing bruises into tanned skin, fingertips trailing idly across flesh and muscle, mapping freckles like constellations across the night sky. When they pause for breath Kurt indulges himself and just stares, blinking slowly as a scorching, calloused hand rubs gently at the small of his back. He doesn't see New York when he looks at Blaine, he sees only long nights under fairy lights, stolen kisses in the big top and a life watching Blaine's passions burn steadily, smouldering with life and energy. He doesn't see fear or doubt in Blaine's eyes, always unafraid to stare right back. No, with Blaine's body underneath him, hands and eyes drinking him in he sees only love, lust and wonderment shining back at him.

"I know what I want." Kurt says under his breath but loud enough for Blaine to hear. He grins as Kurt moves his hands to rest over the pendant hanging above his heart. "I don't want you to leave The Spectacle de Joie..."

"I want to join."