Kurt rolled over at the sound of his alarm. He quickly hit the mute button and wrapped his comforter around his body, willing sleep to come. He knew that it had been three months, and he had been the one to break it off, but he still had sleepless nights followed by days where he just couldn't bring himself to get out of bed. He groaned at the sound of his door opening over the carpet.

"Kurt," Rachel said as she crawled onto the bed next to him, "C'mon Kurt not today. You can't keep doing this to yourself." She tried to pull the blankets from his face, but he just wound them tighter and rolled over, emitting a low groan.

"Rachel, I just can't. I didn't sleep at all last night and I, I just can't get up and pretend like everything is ok when it's not. When I'm not." Rachel pursed her lips in frustration.

"Kurt. I know it hurts. I know it does ok? Remember when we moved out here and Finn and I broke up. I was devastated and you said that you knew it hurt now, but that I couldn't let it make me forget all that I was. I couldn't give up on my dreams just because I broke up with some guy I was in love with, and you can't either Kurt. Only time will make it better, but you have to let it." Rachel said as she crossed her arms over her chest and leaned against the headboard.

Kurt sighed, loosening the blankets and rolling over to face his roommate. "It's just, Rachel it's been three months and I still can't stop thinking about him. What if I made a mistake? What if he was the one and I threw it out the door because I was insecure."

Rachel stared at Kurt, his eyes red rimmed and cheeks puffy. "Kurt Hummel, you know as well as I do that dumping Toby was the right decision. The two of you were together for nearly two years and he could barely say I love you. You were so invested and he treated the relationship as though it were some casual thing. Kurt he was seeing other people." Tears began to form in Kurt's eyes at Rachel's words. He knew that what she said was the truth, but that didn't make it hurt any less.

"I… I know Rachel, I just… let me be. Just for today please?" Kurt begged with large, tear-filled eyes.

Rachel looked back at him, pity present in her face. "Ok, then we'll compromise. You stay in bed today, but tonight you have to go to Open Mic Night with me at Kyle's bar. It'll be fun, and it's generally pretty low key." Kurt contemplated this, but he knew he wouldn't get away with saying no to Rachel, she was small, but she knew how to get her way.

"Fine, Rachel." Kurt said with a huff, "I'll go with you tonight, but I hope you don't expect very much of me." Rachel flashed him a dazzling smile as she pounced on him, wrapping her arms around his middle.

"Oh, Kurt. I'm so excited! This is going to be so good for you I promise!" Rachel said with a squeal. Suddenly, she noticed the clock on Kurt's bedside table. "Is that really the time? I'd better go before I'm late for my first class. Ok, I have rehearsal until seven tonight, so meet me at the bar at eight. Do not be late, I am not afraid to come and drag your butt out of this bed mister." She smiled, bopping him on the nose as she climbed off the bed. Kurt frowned, once again cocooning himself in the blankets, and waited for the sweet relief of sleep.

~He and I, it's something beautiful~

Kurt was lost. He had spent the better part of two hours trying to navigate his way around the city, and had yet to see any kind of landmark or anything familiar. He sighed and chewed on his lower lip as he consulted the subway map. He huffed in annoyance as he leaned back on his heels, peering over his shoulder at the trains behind him.

"You look lost." A deep voice said, startling Kurt. He turned to see the owner of the voice. Kurt gaped a little at the man standing next to him. He was a couple of inches taller than Kurt, with broad shoulders and tan skin. His light brown hair rested just above his eyebrows and his clothes were stylish, although not as extravagant as Kurt's own.

"Oh, um, yeah. It's my first time navigating the subway system on my own and I guess I got on the wrong train and now I have no idea how to get to school from here." Kurt replied hunching his shoulders, a sheepish grin on his face.

The man smiled in return. "Well, maybe I can help. Where are you headed…?" He paused and Kurt realized he was waiting for a name.

"Kurt, I'm Kurt Hummel and I'm trying to get to Parsons." The other man's eyes lit up at that.

"Well Kurt Hummel, today is your lucky day because I'm also on my way to Parsons. You wouldn't mind riding with me would you?" Kurt considered it for a moment. He knew it probably wasn't the best idea to run off with some guy he met in the subway station, but he was already half an hour late for his first class.

"Hmmm well you know, I don't generally go off with people whose name I don't even know." The man feigned shock at this and Kurt laughed, the other man joined in after a few moments.

"Of course, I'm Toby Jenkins. I study architecture at Parsons School of Design, and I grew up in New York, which means I know this system like the back of my hand. So, Kurt. Think you can trust me?" He said as he offered Kurt his hand.

Kurt blushed, being from conservative, small town Ohio meant that he was not used to being flirted with. He allowed Toby to take his hand and lead him to their train.

Maybe this day wouldn't be so bad after all.

~But so dysfunctional it couldn't last~

"I'm not saying I don't care about you Kurt, you know I do. I'm just saying that I don't think this should be an exclusive thing." Toby said, his brown hair, which was a bit more grown out now, falling into his eyes as he looked up at Kurt from his bed.

"We've been together for over a year Toby. We practically live together and you can't even commit, I just don't understand!" Kurt said with flaming eyes. This wasn't the first time that they'd had this argument, and he was sure it wasn't going to be the last. He loved Toby though, even if he hadn't said it yet, and would do anything to stay with him.

"I told you when we started dating that I wasn't a one man kind of guy and you said you were fine with it then. So, what's changed Kurt? Because I sure as hell haven't." Toby said as he got off the bed and took a step towards the door.

"I guess I just thought that after a year of me following you around like some kind of fucking puppy you would be more committed. Then what? I walk into the restaurant last night, the restaurant where we were meeting for our date, and you're getting some guy's phone number. How am I supposed to feel about that Toby? Honestly, it makes me feel like shit." Kurt said as he wrapped his arms around himself, tears springing to his eyes.

Toby looked at him with sad eyes. "Kurt I'm sorry, ok? I didn't realize that it hurt you that badly. I thought we'd been clear before, but I don't want to see you hurt like this Kurt. I love you." Kurt gasped as Toby closed the distance between them. He pulled Kurt's arms apart and wrapped him in a tight hug. "I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm so sorry."

Kurt leaned into Toby's embrace. He was still reeling from the shock of hearing Toby say those three words, three little words that changed everything. Willing his tears to end he tilted his head so that he could whisper in Toby's ear. "I love you too."

~Loved him so, but I let him go

'Cause I knew he'd never love me back~

Kurt wiped his eyes and hoped that his face wasn't nearly as red and puffy as it had been for the past twenty-four hours. He placed the last of Toby's things, his back up phone charger, in the already full box on his desk. It had been a long day, but he knew he had made the right decision in breaking things off with Toby.

For awhile he had thought that he could live with an open relationship, but he had assumed that things would change after they said I love you. They hadn't, and Kurt was done fighting. He couldn't be with someone who didn't love him enough to want only him. He brushed his un-styled hair off his forehead and lifted the box from the desk, moving it to the living room where Toby was meant to pick it up soon.

The doorbell rang just as he'd set the box on the counter. He quickly straightened his clothes and scrubbed his face with his hands, knowing there was nothing he could do to fix his appearance. Finally he went to the door and turned the knob.

Toby, for his sake, looked like he did any other day, as though the last twenty four hours had meant nothing to him. Kurt couldn't bring himself to say anything and instead moved out of the way and lifted his arm in the direction of the box. Toby quickly closed the distance between himself and the kitchen before heading back towards the door. He gave Kurt one last long look before saying, "It was fun, Kurt. I'll miss you." Then he was gone, out the door and out of Kurt's life for good.

Kurt shoved the door closed behind him. He turned around and leaned against it, wrapping his arms around his rib cage, and finally letting the floodgates break as he slowly slid to the floor.

~Such pain as this shouldn't have to be experienced

I'm still reeling from the loss, still a little bit delirious~

Kurt scowled at his reflection in the mirror. His usually perfect complexion marred by tear-stained cheeks. The skin around his blue eyes was puffy and raw. He couldn't imagine going out like this. He had already spent forty minutes in the shower and twenty minutes simply staring in the mirror, trying to figure out how to clean up the mess. Finally closing his eyes and turning away from the vanity, he made his way to his closet. He would deal with his face later.

Two hours and many failed outfits later he deemed himself presentable and headed out into the brisk night air. Rachel had texted him just before he'd left to make sure that he wasn't still moping in bed.

"I wasn't kidding about dragging you out of bed Kurt. I don't even care if you haven't showered in three days, you are coming out tonight!" The text had read, and Kurt was glad he had decided to get up when he had.

The bar that Rachel's current boyfriend, Kyle, bartended at was only a few blocks from Kurt and Rachel's shoebox apartment. Truthfully, it was kind of a dive, and they probably wouldn't spend so much time there if Rachel hadn't met Kyle. Open Mic Night was just an excuse for all of the failed musicians in the neighborhood to get together and lament their glory days. Kurt wasn't even sure why Rachel wanted to go.

Kurt entered the bar and immediately began looking for Rachel. Before he spotted her, however, his gaze fell upon the dark head of curls that was currently occupying the stage. Curious, Kurt stepped closer, the opening chords to a familiar song washing over him and as the man started to sing Kurt was mesmerized by the clear tenor voice coming from the, admittedly attractive, man on stage.

He was sitting in a chair in front of a keyboard, his strong shoulders hunched as his hands danced over the keys. He had short, thick curly hair and a strong jaw line. His eyes were closed, pretty, long lashes resting against his broad cheeks. A small smile painted his face as he played. The song reached its climax, and suddenly his eyes were open and he was staring at Kurt, who had reached the stage by that point and was still watching the man intently. His smiled widened as he sang the last few lines of the song, his gaze never once leaving Kurt.

When the song ended, Kurt quickly turned and made his way to the bar, where he'd finally spotted Rachel. She smiled and waved in his direction. "You made it!" She said her voice just a little louder than usual. "I saw you by the stage. He was amazing Kurt, you should buy him a drink!"

"Rachel, while I agree that he was fantastic, I am not ready to start dating again. You know that." Kurt replied as he slid onto the barstool next to Rachel's. Rachel pouted before her face brightened.

Smiling, she leaned into Kurt and said, "no one said you had to date him." Suddenly, her eyes fell on something behind him and she grinned knowingly. "Look, here's your chance!" She said before turning her attention to her boyfriend.

Kurt glared at her before glancing over his shoulder. His eyes widened as he saw the man from the stage walking in his direction. He quickly turned back to the bar, leaning forward and attempting to look busy.

"Excuse me if I'm being too forward," a voice said from behind Kurt, "but I saw you watching," at this the man pointed at the stage, "and I was just wondering if you'd let me buy you a drink." Kurt looked at the stranger as he considered Rachel's words. A drink couldn't hurt right?

Two hours and many drinks later, Kurt found himself increasingly attracted to the man sitting across from him in the small booth. Blaine Anderson was a year older than Kurt and studying to be a music teacher, while playing small gigs and open mics on the side. Surprisingly, he had grown up not far from Kurt, and they regaled each other with tales of their equally horrific high school experiences.

It wasn't just that Kurt thought Blaine was physically appealing; he was also quickly becoming addicted to his personality. Blaine was energetic; he spoke with his hands, and had a smile that could put even the lights of New York to shame.

As the night wore on, Kurt found himself leaning in closer as Blaine spoke, the sound of his voice causing currents to run through Kurt's body; a low heat growing in his stomach and a warm blush spreading across his cheeks as Blaine talked about the latest issue of Vogue and Kurt couldn't help but wonder how Blaine could make everything sound so attractive.

The sound of Kyle's voice rang through the bar as he announced the last call. Blaine leaned back out of Kurt's personal space and ran his hands through his hair nervously. Kurt watched him, noticing the way his shirt rose up over his hip and the line of dark hair barely visible above his waistband. Kurt wasn't ready for the night to end.

They made their way out of the bar, stumbling occasionally. Blaine had offered to walk Kurt home, and Kurt was more than happy to accept. He had taken Blaine's proffered hand and allowed him to lead him out the door. As they approached the entrance to Kurt's building, Kurt stopped, "This is me." He said, shifting from one foot to the other.

Blaine looked up at him from under his lashes, his large hazel eyes searching out Kurt's, silently questioning. Kurt's nod was barely perceptible, and then Blaine's lips were on his, strong and warm. Kurt pressed into the kiss hungrily, not missing a beat before he was sliding his tongue into Blaine's waiting mouth. He tasted like coffee and spearmint underneath the heady flavor of alcohol. Blaine deepened the kiss and Kurt elicited a soft moan, following Blaine's lead. Their tongues battled for dominance as Blaine pulled Kurt closer, wrapping his arms around Kurt's slim waist and bringing their hips together. Kurt's hands made their way to Blaine's hair and he tugged lightly, relishing the feel of the soft curls against his fingers.

Kurt was suddenly fully aware of Blaine's erection against his own as Blaine ground his hips into Kurt's. The realization brought Kurt out of his lustful haze and he soon found himself pulling away from Blaine as he attempted to steady his breathing.

They were still wrapped around each other and Blaine smiled as he placed soft kisses against Kurt's lips. "You can come inside, if you'd like." Kurt said against his better judgment.

Blaine smiled and placed one more small kiss against Kurt's lips before pulling out of the embrace. He thought about it for a moment before nodding and soon the two of them were tip toeing up the stairs past the super's apartment. They reached Kurt's floor, giggling like school children as Kurt tried to find his key, while Blaine placed open mouthed kisses below his ear and along his jaw.

Finally they made it to Kurt's bedroom. Kurt closed the door behind them, and Blaine was on him as soon as he turned around. Kurt moaned as Blaine kissed his neck and collarbone. Blaine tugged at the hem of Kurt's shirt and Kurt quickly pulled it off, allowing Blaine full access to his chest. Blaine nipped at Kurt's skin from one of his shoulders to the other; he ran his tongue over Kurt's nipples while Kurt squirmed from his position against the door.

Kurt, having had enough of all the teasing, brought his hands up from where they'd been gripping Blaine's sides and pushed against Blaine's shoulders, guiding him backwards until the backs of his legs hit the bed. Kurt gently shoved Blaine into a seated position on the bed and tugged Blaine's shirt off before moving to straddle his hips and wrapping his arms around Blaine's neck.

He ground his ass down on Blaine's erection and Blaine gasped, pulling Kurt's bare chest against his before finding a rhythm. Kurt smiled at Blaine's small moans and erratic breaths as he grinded against Blaine, watching the way his eyebrows scrunched together in concentration, his mouth slightly open and cheeks flush. Kurt leaned in and kissed him then, his tongue immediately finding purchase against Blaine's.

Blaine smiled mischievously against Kurt's lips before flipping him onto his back, quickly following so that their bodies were perfectly aligned. Kurt groaned at the pressure from Blaine's erection against his. Kurt needed to be closer, his hands making their way to Blaine's waistband, his thumb played over the button as he looked at Blaine pointedly.

Blaine nodded in return. "Please." He said, and it was all the incentive Kurt needed before they were ridding each other of their jeans and pressing their bodies back together hungrily. Blaine sucked Kurt's bottom lip into his mouth, causing Kurt to keen and his hips to buck forward. Blaine returned the pressure before sliding down Kurt's chest licking and nipping his way to Kurt's hips. He sucked lightly at the skin there and Kurt closed his eyes as he reveled in the feeling. Continuing to map his body, Blaine licked a long line right above Kurt's waistband before moving down to breathe hotly against his erection. Kurt moaned loudly as Blaine hooked his fingers in the waistband of Kurt's underwear and pulled them down quickly.

Kurt propped himself on his elbows and watched as Blaine sucked the tip of his cock into his mouth, tonguing his slit. Kurt's head rolled back as Blaine swirled his tongue around the head of Kurt's cock, before licking down the long, thick vein on the underside. He forced himself to focus and watch as Blaine sucked Kurt's entire dick into his mouth, his plump lips red from exertion. Kurt couldn't help himself as his hips jumped off the bed his cock hitting the back of Blaine's throat. When Kurt looked back at Blaine, his eyes watered, but he continued to suck at Kurt's cock, bringing his hand up to cup Kurt's balls he rolled them gently in his palm.

Kurt was utterly wrecked, he could feel the coil low in his stomach beginning to tighten as he watched Blaine, who's other hand was palming his own erection as he rutted into Kurt's mattress. Seeing Blaine get off on getting him off was all Kurt needed before he was coming, Blaine swallowing around his cock as he worked him through his orgasm. Kurt shivered as he came down, Blaine still sucking gently at his oversensitive cock. He pushed against Blaine's shoulders as Blaine finally released him, a smile playing at his lips as he moved to lie beside Kurt.

Kurt opened his eyes a few moments later, staring up at Blaine he smiled. "Hi." Kurt said.

Blaine smiled in return and leaned over him, kissing him softly. "Hi." He replied as he moved away.

Kurt gave him a long look before realizing that while he was still in a post orgasmic haze, Blaine was dealing with a probably painful erection. He moved his hand down the bed, before Blaine grabbed his wrist. Kurt looked at him questioningly. "Don't you want a little help?" He asked fluttering his eyelashes.

Blaine grinned sheepishly, "I uh, actually don't need it, although I should probably change out of these underwear…" Kurt's eyes widened and cock twitched at the realization that Blaine had actually gotten off to getting him off. He watched as Blaine stood and pulled off his underwear, wiping himself off before discarding them on the floor and crawling onto the bed. He pulled Kurt flush against his chest as he wound his arm's tightly around him and kissed the back of his head. Kurt relaxed into his hold, exhaustion quickly consuming him.

He fell into a deep, peaceful sleep for the first time in months.

~Near to you I am healing, but it's taking so long

'Cause though he's gone and you are wonderful it's hard to move on

Yeah it's better near to you~

Kurt was surprised to awake to an empty bed the next morning. For a moment he just lay there. He had never had a one night stand before, and while part of him was a little proud that he stepped outside of his comfort zone, a larger part of him wished that Blaine wasn't his first. Kurt had genuinely liked Blaine, and he could see himself spending more time with him, getting to know each other. For the first time in a long time Kurt had lasted an entire evening without his mind on Toby.

He curled in on himself, hair rising at the cold air in his room. He began to pull the blankets over himself and start yet another day spent wallowing in his bed when he heard voices carrying into his room from the kitchen. One of which was obviously Rachel, she was laughing at something that someone who sounded suspiciously like Blaine had said.

Slowly Kurt sat up, eyes scanning the room for his robe which was loosely draped over his chair. He retrieved it, pulling his arms through and hastily tying the sash as he made his way to the kitchen.

Blaine was standing at the stove shirtless, with the jeans he'd worn the night before slung low around his waist and his hair a fluffy pouf of bed head. He grinned when he saw Kurt and put down the spatula he was holding to make his way over to Kurt who was gaping in the doorway of the kitchen. Rachel smiled and blushed as Blaine pulled Kurt into a passionate kiss, which Kurt was almost too startled to reciprocate. Finally he did, and when the two pulled back Blaine was looking at Kurt with that big thousand watt grin on his face. Kurt couldn't help but smile in return. "Morning," Blaine said as he gestured to the pan on the stove, "I hope you don't mind I'm making pancakes, Rachel said to help myself and I figured after all the beer from last night you probably wouldn't be feeling one hundred percent so…" Kurt laughed at Blaine and wrapped his arms around his shoulders before leaning in for a quick kiss.

"It's more than fine, it's very sweet actually. Thank you." Kurt said after pulling back from the kiss. "So, Blaine, what are your plans for the day?" And Rachel squealed before leaving the kitchen to get ready for rehearsal, glad to see her best friend smiling again.

~Well, you and I, it's something different

And I'm enjoying it as cautiously

I am battle scarred and I am working oh so hard

To get back to where I used to be~

Kurt and Blaine spent the day together, they went out for coffee and then made their way around central park holding hands and laughing. For the first time in a long time Kurt thought he might be happy. Part of him though, was still scared. He was afraid of getting too attached to Blaine because he knew what it was to be torn apart by another person.

Blaine and Kurt were nearly inseparable. Other than when they had class, and Kurt was finally attending his classes on a regular basis, and at night, after that first night they had decided to take things slow, they spent all their time together wandering aimlessly around the city, content in each other's company. Sometimes they'd go out in the evenings; sometimes they would stay in and order Chinese while watching reruns of "I Love Lucy" on TV. Blaine was everything Kurt could've asked for, he was charming and funny. He was thoughtful and he always smiled at Kurt like he had on that first night, like Kurt was the only person in the world.

Kurt knew that he needed to open up to Blaine. He knew that he needed to be honest about why he would sometimes get that sad look on his face, and why he still had trouble getting out of bed some days. Blaine was so trusting and sweet and after two months Kurt knew that Blaine wasn't going to hurt him like Toby had. Blaine wasn't interested in anybody but Kurt, and Kurt was ready to let go of his past and embrace all of the joy that was Blaine.

~I only know that I belong where you are~

Kurt smiled at the stage as Blaine finished his set. He'd dedicated his last song to "that boy in the audience that I can't get enough of," and Kurt had blushed at this before blowing him a kiss. Blaine's smile widened as he began to play the song that he had played that first night that Kurt had seen him.

It had been a year and a half since that night in the bar that had changed everything. A year and a half since Kurt had let go of all of the pain he was holding onto and opened himself up to Blaine completely.

Blaine, of course, was everything that Kurt knew he would be. He only had eyes for Kurt. They still looked at each other like they world revolved around the other, and Blaine still smiled at Kurt with that smile that he knew was only his.

They weren't perfect though; there were days that Kurt would get insecure and Blaine would have to convince him that it was Kurt and only Kurt that he wanted. There were times that they would get frustrated because they weren't seeing each other as much as they'd like. They would bicker about little things, but neither of them minded. In the end they would always talk it out; in the end it was always ok.

Kurt watched the man on the stage as he performed the song that had caught Kurt's attention in the first place. He watched as his feelings poured into the music and onto the keyboard. Kurt admired his passion as he sang out the last few notes and Kurt wasn't surprised to feel the wetness around his eyes.

Blaine thanked the audience and made his way off the stage towards Kurt. Kurt stepped down from his seat at the table so he was standing when Blaine made it to him. He looked Blaine straight in the eyes before leaning in to kiss him, wrapping his arms around Blaine's waist. Blaine kissed back eagerly, his hand resting lightly on Kurt's cheek. Suddenly Kurt pulled back his face flush. He rested his forehead against Blaine's as they stood there, catching their breath.

Kurt looked up into Blaine's eyes and found him looking intently back. He knew that Blaine was the one; he knew that he wanted to be with Blaine for as long as he would have him. He could see their future so clearly together, a wedding and a house someday, when they were ready. Right now though, he was just content to be with him, with the man who had shown him what it meant to be loved.

"I love you," Kurt said as he held Blaine's gaze, and Blaine pulled back from their embrace, Kurt's smile shining from his face as he lifted Kurt up and spun him around.

"I love you!" He said, and Kurt's laughter soon joined Blaine's as Blaine finally set him down, pulling him into a fierce hug, "and I will as long as you'll let me."

Yes, Kurt thought as Blaine began to speak eagerly, his hands mimicking his words, this is what it means to be happy.

~Yeah, I'm better near to you~