June 2, 2012, 2:26 p.m.
Destroyed Dreams and Confusing Choices
Prompt!fic from the Glee Angst Meme. Ignoring 3x22. Everyone expects Kurt to comfort Rachel because she didn't get the acceptance letter for NYADA. But Kurt seems to have some opposing thoughts. Slight Klaine. No Rachel Bashing.
T - Words: 1,214 - Last Updated: Jun 02, 2012 759 0 0 0 Characters: Blaine Anderson, Kurt Hummel, Rachel Berry, Tags: friendship, hurt/comfort,
Rachel gave a sad look to Finn as all their friends were practising warm-ups before she sang her ballad of "It's All Coming Back to Me Now." Carmen Tibideaux still hadn't come and Rachel had a sinking feeling in her chest that she wasn't going to turn up. Why? Because the last time she had this sinking feeling was when Ms. Tibideaux had praised Kurt. She had told him these exact words: "A bold choice, young man. I congratulate you for taking such a risk today." And then, she, Miss Rachel Barbara Berry, who was confident in the song she had practised since she was two years old, suddenly feared the fact that it was a safe option for her and not a risk, to put in the NYADA alumni's words. And as she had feared, she had choked.
No matter what she told Tina, this was more of a second audition for her rather than Nationals for Glee Club. She knew it was selfish, but what was the use of getting all those Solos and winning three-four awards if she didn't have a future after that? But then the softer side of her won out; the side which had fallen in love with Finn even after knowing all his imperfections. She thus gave a smile to her fiancé, and vowed to make this performance count. She started singing, praying to whoever was listening, that Ms. Carmen would enter exactly at the right time to see her belt out the highest notes in the song and impress her.
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Rachel didn't talk. She couldn't talk. They had won Nationals. She had lost her whole life. She knew it. She knew that the fault was hers. She was too cocky. Even though she had practised it, she knew that somewhere inside, she hadn't given her fullest during the audition. Rachel didn't know what to say. She could see everyone in New Directions give her pitying looks.
They all knew the truth. The amount of times Rachel had ranted to anyone and everyone about how Ms. Tibideaux would turn up and she would wow her with her incredible performance. She should have known the pep talk given by Finn wouldn't come true. Somehow everything seemed to work against her. Even if they had won Nationals, the victory was a hollow one for her. She had no back-up plans. That's what you get for being so damn overconfident. She removed her 'dreams' box and threw all the papers in the bonfire.
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Kurt had mixed feelings. The whole of New Directions had told him to go and confront Rachel, make her let all the sorrow out and start to move on. He didn't know what to do. He had spoken to Blaine about it.
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I don't know what to do, Blaine.
What?
Now that Rachel choked on her audition and I happened to pass with flying colours…
I never had any doubts about the latter.
Yeah, yeah, so she fucked up at Nationals when Ma'am didn't turn up.
Hmm…
So should I go and console her? Since I was accepted and she wasn't and all that.
Um, that's your call, to be frank, Kurt. I love you and I'll support you no matter what.
I'm confused, though. I cursed her all my life for having the admiration of Mr. Schue. Now though, I finally got a thing she didn't. Am I selfish for feeling that way?
Obviously not. Though I might be partial because I love you. I'll support you all the way, no matter what you choose, sweetheart.
Thanks!
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So Blaine was also un-helpful at this point. Kurt didn't know what to do. He hated to sound redundant, but it was like there were two parts of him inside warring over what to do about her. He knew he was supposed to feel bad for her. Kurt knew that Rachel had not put in applications for any other college because she was so confident in herself. She had once told him, "Broadway will be waiting for me with a red carpet rolled out from the porch of my home to the stage of one of the most epic musicals ever, Wicked."
At that time, he'd scoffed, thinking that she was most probably joking and that her dads would not let her do such a thing, no matter how spoiled she was. But then he remembered what his dad had told him when they were speaking about it.
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Listen kiddo, every parent has a limit to which they have blind faith about their children. I love you, and I know you can hit that cool F. I know that application forms for universities cost money. But I would never risk your only education career in a method to save money.
At the same time, I won't have blind faith that the one college will definitely take you in. Remember one thing, if you are the star in a place, don't become overconfident. It means that there is a similar star in every other place.
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After that, Kurt couldn't believe that her parents would have the extreme "blind faith" to believe that the one NYADA application would be miraculously accepted as if it could not be rejected at all.
As much as he tried to say that his feelings were mixed, they actually weren't. He knew exactly what he felt about the situation. To tell the truth, he was slightly happy in a non-gloating way.
Kurt believed in a way, that this was Karma coming back to her. He still remembered the time during the "Diva-off" for Defying Gravity. He could still hear Tina and Mercedes talk to him after he had made them promise to vote for who sang the song better.
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White boy, you can believe us when we say we'll vote honestly, but you want to know the actual reason why we would vote for you?
Why?
It's because you're so kind to people even when you're aware of the fact that you're fabulous.
Rachel loves to lord it over everyone that she is the favourite of Will Schuester. She has a fabulous voice, I'll admit that. But her bad attitude makes everyone want to just run away even if her singing is beautiful.
But you are just considerate of everyone's feelings. You even listen to Brittany when we all tune her out when she says something kooky.
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Rachel had stepped on many heads to get where she was right now. She believed that talent would be enough to get her where she wanted. She didn't mind bringing other people down as long as it made her look better. Kurt still remembered when they had sung "Ding dong, the Witch is Dead" together. He was so happy that their friendship was improved when Rachel showed her selfishness by shoving her hand in front of his. He knew it was part of her personality, and he could manage it to some extent.
However, when time came to decide, all these small incidents couldn't help but ring a bell in his head. In his head, it was good that she didn't get it because she had come crashing back down to the ground and realized that not everyone was in love with her the same way McKinley High, Principal Figgins and Will Schuester were. And with that conviction he got up, deciding to go and tell Finn that he couldn't go through with it.