The first time that Kurt left, he said that it was for good. Moving to New York would destroy them, that's what he said. No matter how much Blaine begged and how much he said that they'd make it work, Kurt didn't change his mind. He apologized, a thousand times or maybe more, Blaine never had the heart to count them. And that was it, Kurt left him to go through his last year of high school without him, left him to go through the year in this new and kind of awful school in which he had transferred to be with the boy he loved, without any real friends. Blaine didn't really know what to do without Kurt in McKinley to be with him and to encourage him. All that he knew was that he had never felt more alone in his whole life and that he didn't have a plan anymore; New York was not an option. Not only this, but he had a broken heart to take care of.

That night, Blaine was lying under the blankets, imagining Kurt in New York, walking around the streets with his new friends (new boyfriend even) and he felt like he was being punched in the gut. He was wearing an old T-shirt that Kurt had forgotten when he slept over once. It was soft and it smelled like him and honestly, it was the only thing he had left to remind him of Kurt.

Blaine closed his eyes and willed his tears to go away.

xxx

Blaine saw him after a month. He was on his doorstep, wondering whether to ring the bell or just leave, Blaine figured. He noticed him when he was going downstairs to get some breakfast. His heart pounded so hard that he thought that he might have a heart attack. His first thought was that it was not possible. Kurt...his Kurt couldn't be on his doorstep when he was probably busy in New York, studying God knows what and going out with his new friends (what about his new boyfriend?). But there he was – as beautiful as an angel, exactly as Blaine remembered him. So Blaine went to the door and opened it. Kurt was startled; as if he was so caught up in his thoughts he didn't hear the door opening. Blaine didn't know what to say, what to do. Should he hug him or would that be inappropriate? He honestly had no clue, he was still a teenager who had only dated one boy - the boy who left him heartbroken and was currently standing on his doorstep, looking like his puppy had just died.

"Hi, Blaine." Short and simple. Blaine didn't know whether he should break down, shout or kiss Kurt. So he just nodded his head, not trusting his voice completely yet, because he was sure it would betray him. "Can I maybe…come in?" he asked and the younger boy was so relieved that his parents weren't home.

Once in, Blaine finally found his voice to ask Kurt if he wanted anything – juice, coffee, water – and Kurt just mumbled that water would be fine. Blaine was in the kitchen, shakily pouring some water in a glass when he turned around to go to the living room and found Kurt standing right behind him. He never heard him come in or felt him behind him, so he got so shocked that he felt the glass slip through his fingers and hit the ground, the water spilling and wetting his socks. He could care less, though, because in this moment, Kurt pushed him against the counter and attacked his lips in a hungry bruising kiss that made him weak in the knees. They made out for a while, Blaine seated on the counter with Kurt in between his open legs and it felt like heaven; Kurt's kisses were painfully familiar to him. He felt almost guilty for being so damn turned on, damn his teenage hormones and damn Kurt for well…being Kurt. He could not deny him anything. So when Kurt whispered let's go upstairs, Blaine just nodded and clutched at the boy's sleeve all the way up to his room, not wanting to let go, scared that this was just a dream and he'd wake up alone in his bed, covered in cold sweat.

He found refuge in Kurt that day. He felt like he was put back together by his lover. Blaine couldn't understand how the only person who could cause him so much pain could also take it away that quickly. He never got the chance to think about it, though, because he was busy losing himself away in the familiarity of Kurt's body.

When he woke up, he was feeling content for the first time in months; Blaine was ready to snuggle into Kurt's warmth and just smile without hurting for once. He wiped his eyes sleepily and stretched. Something was wrong, though. Kurt's side was empty, he found. There was a note on the pillow.

"I'm sorry, this was a mistake. I shouldn't have come, Blaine."

Blaine was sure that if he listened carefully enough, he could hear his heart breaking.

xxx

That's how it was from then on. Kurt would come back when he had vacations or free time, he'd fly back to Lima and go to Blaine. They'd share a bed, but never talk about how dysfunctional this thing was. Blaine wasn't sure why kept on doing it. The only thing he knew was that he couldn't stop. It hurt every time Kurt left, but Blaine treasure every second they spent together and kept on telling himself the pain was worth it.

He wasn't surprised to find out that Kurt was studying drama and Rachel was living in the same apartment building as he was and they went to auditions together. The thought of Kurt not sharing his place with Rachel made him think that maybe, just maybe, Kurt didn't want to live with anybody else. What if he was waiting for Blaine? What if?

He listened about all the times she had been rejected and how Kurt comforted her, everything was like the old times.

They had new friends, all of them were theater geeks or writers and photographers and Kurt described them as lovely. Blaine could almost imagine them together, a colorful group of young and talented people. He craved to be a part of Kurt's life again; to be known was his boyfriend, his lover, his everything. The thought just made him feel worse, because he knew that Kurt would leave time after time.

School was easy, at least. He was writing his speech for the graduation, which was months away, taking exams and trying to figure out what to do with his life after he was done with school. New York seemed too scary, too cold and Blaine didn't want to set his foot there anymore for fear he'd run into Kurt on the street as he was buying coffee or he'd see him crossing the street and he'd freeze and forget how to walk. The plan was to go with Kurt, not alone. So no New York for him. Maybe LA or California. Or maybe not.

He was desperately trying to bury himself in school work so that he didn't have enough time to think about Kurt because every time he appeared in his mind, it hurt. Blaine sometimes imagined a thousand different scenarios which didn't include him feeling guilty and used every time he was with Kurt. Every time his imagination went too wild, though, he'd shake his head as if it'd help him get rid of his betraying thoughts and go back to work.

Kurt Hummel had walked out of his life and was only using him so Blaine had to get the fuck over it and stop being such a girl.

xxx

Blaine's graduation was filled with too much emotion. He didn't know whether he should be nervous or ecstatic that he was finally graduating. He still wasn't sure if he had chosen the right university or the right state, all his plans had involved Kurt, New York and this cozy little apartment just for the two of them.

In the middle of the ceremony, he noticed him – at the back row, as stunning as ever. Kurt was standing there, his eyes looked a little teary and his cheeks were flushed. Blaine's breath hitched, because he remember that time they were together, and how things ended with Blaine waking up in a cold bed with the note on his pillow, telling him that they should never do this again and that Kurt was really sorry. Well, maybe he never could stay away from me, he thought and the heaviness in his heart became a little lighter.

Kurt bit his lip, but didn't break the eye contact even when people pushed him to walk past him. He clapped when it was needed and Blaine was certain that he could see pride in his lover's (or was it ex-lover's) eyes while Blaine was reciting his speech.

After the ceremony was over, Blaine ignored his parents and all of his other relatives, who wanted to congratulate him, they could wait. Instead he walked straight to Kurt, who was propped up against a column. He didn't say anything, he just hugged him tightly, never wanting to let go. Kurt froze, but quickly leaned into the embrace, wrapping his arms around Blaine's waist and squeezing him.

"Kurt," Blaine breathed against the boy's neck. "What now?" it was the only question that made sense in his head because without Kurt (his soul mate, his everything, his missing puzzle piece) in his life, he would be lost. He honestly had no idea whether Kurt coming back for him once more meant that they'd get together finally, that they would become KurtandBlaine again or Kurt would not look back this time.

He smiled, blue eyes shining brightly in the sunlight and intertwined their fingers.

"Now we go to New York and I make it up to you, Blaine, okay? How does this sound?" he seemed hopeful, a part of him unsure of how the younger boy would react after everything he had put him through.

"Sounds like heaven." Blaine whispered and leaned forward to kiss Kurt softly. "Just promise me one thing. Never let go again, Kurt. Whatever issues or doubts you have, you come to me and we talk about it. We can get over anything if we're together." Kurt nodded and sniffled, looking away as he put his hands in the pocket of his black jacket.

"Let's go to your parents now, hm? ", he offered.

Together they disappeared into the crowd of bodies.

xxx

New York was as big and as exciting as Blaine thought it would be. Every day was a new adventure for him. He found a job, he started studying, and everything went back to normal. Kurt was slowly putting the piece of his heart back together, one kiss at a time. Yes, Blaine still felt like he would be abandoned again. Some nights, he would wake up and feel numb for a second, because he couldn't feel Kurt beside him and he'd panic quietly, praying for Kurt to be beside him, to remember that they love each other. And he'd be there, waking up slightly to nuzzle his nose in the back of Blaine's neck, as if he'd sensed that his lover was in distress and he needed Kurt's comfort. He'd whisper to Blaine go to sleep, baby, his hands roaming over the younger man's chest and stopping right over his heart and Blaine could suddenly breathe again, melting in his lover's embrace.

It wasn't easy. Being hurt by the only person you've ever truly loved and learning how to trust them again was a challenge. But Blaine knew it was worth it, every single tear and every single time he had woken up alone was worth it because he was back in Kurt's arms – Blaine was finally home again.