On the morning of his sixteenth birthday Kurt woke up alone in his big bed in the repurposed basement of their before-Carole-and-Finn house, still unmarked, still hopeful, still terrified of what kind of hell the jocks at school had in store for him that day, and still madly crushing on the quarterback of McKinley's football team.

On the morning of his seventeenth birthday Kurt woke to a world that was completely different. In Blaine's big bed, thin early light peeking past the curtains at the window, marked, committed, bonded to his soulmate in ever more intimate ways, no longer afraid at school, and definitely, absolutely, positively, not in love with Finn.

The one thing that was the same, though, was that he again woke up alone.

It was a very good thing for Blaine, Kurt thought as he turned away from the light at the window and snuggled deeper into his pillow, that the bed was so comfortable and the smell of bacon with undertones of coffee wafting in from the kitchen so appetizing. It lulled him into a state of anticipatory contentment that left no room for thinking about punishment. Because really, was it too much to expect to be woken up by a blow job on his birthday?

That thought made him giggle and he was still smiling when Blaine bumped the door open with his very naked hip and sidled into the room balancing a tray laden with steaming food and drink. Yes, Kurt could forgive the single thing that was the same from that birthday to this one, because everything that was different was so very wonderfully different.

“You're awake!”

“Did you cook breakfast naked?” Kurt asked as Blaine circled the bed and set the breakfast tray carefully next to him on the mattress. “Because hygiene factor aside –“

“I wore a big apron. It was all very sanitary.” Blaine crossed back to Kurt's side of the bed and leaned down to kiss him. “Happy birthday, by the way.”

“Thank you,” Kurt said. He kissed back but was undeterred. “But hygiene factor aside, you might want to rethink naked cooking. I'll be very upset if you burn anything that belongs to me.” He was still feeling giddy, so he let his eyes rake down Blaine's body as suggestively as he could manage.

Blaine settled on the edge of the bed and reached over Kurt to pick up the coffee mug from the tray. “Well since it all belongs to you, I'll be sure to be very, very careful. Your coffee, good sir.”

Kurt took the mug and smiled at Blaine through the fragrant steam. Being served breakfast in bed by a gorgeous naked man was definitely the best change since his last birthday. Sixteen-year-old Kurt would probably pass out cold if he could see it. The thought made him giggle again.

“What's so funny?” Blaine asked as he sat the plate of fluffy scrambled eggs and bacon on Kurt's lap.

“Funny?” Kurt put the coffee mug on the night table and snagged a piece of crispy bacon from his plate.� He had to close his eyes as he took the first bite. It, like the coffee, was done exactly as he liked it. Blaine was certainly perfecting the art of knowing him better than he knew himself.

“You were laughing when I came in, too.”

“Oh. I was thinking about how shocked sixteenth-birthday me would be if someone told him how he'd be spending his seventeenth birthday.”

“You mean being served breakfast in bed by a naked soulmate who you make beg you for mercy on a regular basis?”

“More like feeling neglected that I didn't wake up with my naked soulmate's mouth on my dick.” Kurt was getting much more comfortable with words like “dick” and “fuck,” but he still used them sparingly. Because he really loved the way he could see heat rise in Blaine's face whenever he casually tossed one into the conversation.

Blaine tried to hide his reaction by helping himself to a piece of Kurt's bacon. “In my defense,” he said as he munched, “that was my initial plan.”

Kurt raised an eyebrow at him.

“It was!” Blaine insisted. “I was actually under the covers, right there in my happy place,” he wiggled his eyebrows in turn at Kurt, who could feel his own face going red, “just waiting for you to stir . . .”

“So why am I having eggs right now instead of an orgasm?”

“Your stomach growled.”

“It did not!”

“It absolutely did.” Blaine reached for another piece of bacon but Kurt slapped his hand away and took the piece for himself. “And not just any old stomach growl. It was scary. I don't think I've ever heard anything so loud. It totally freaked me out.”

Kurt couldn't move with the plate on his lap so he had to settle for his best dagger glare. “Your stomach can't growl when you're asleep.”

“Who told you that?” Blaine asked. “It's not a voluntary thing. It's a noise that happens when you're hungry. We fell asleep without dinner last night, after you worked so hard . . .” the eyebrows wiggled again and Kurt blushed again, “. . . so I made an executive decision that breakfast was more important.” He nudged the fork closer to Kurt's side of the plate. “Eat up and then I promise you the best blow job I've ever given.”

Kurt kept his eyes locked on Blaine's as he obediently scooped up a forkful of eggs, trying to make the act of eating as provocative as he could. He could practically see Blaine's pupils dilating, so he was pretty sure he succeeded. Blaine watched him chew and swallow, looking almost hypnotized by the working of Kurt's jaw and throat. Kurt then set the fork down on the plate, raised his eyes back to Blaine's, and said, “I'm afraid that ship has sailed.”

Blaine's face fell into a look of such dismay that it made it extra hard for Kurt to keep up his mock severity.

“You snooze, you lose,” he said, scooping up another bite of eggs.

“But it's your birthday!” Blaine protested.

“Which is why we're going to do what I want to do.”

“So you're saying you don't want a blowjob?”

“Let's put it this way,” Kurt said, moving the breakfast plate back onto the tray and leaning close to Blaine, “last night was a first step for me. I want to take things further. I'm ready to do . . . more.”

Blaine's lips parted in obvious anticipation of a kiss. But Kurt held himself still, only inches between them, and made no move to close the tiny gap between their mouths. When Blaine finally leaned in to take the kiss he wanted, Kurt pulled back out of reach.

“The problem is,” Kurt said, holding back more giggles as Blaine pulled his lips into an exaggerated pout, “I'm not comfortable doing more until we're both on the same page. About what we want. And what we don't want.”

Still pouting, Blaine pushed himself up over Kurt, determined to claim that kiss. Kurt stopped him with a firm hand on his chest. “Put some pants on, Romeo. It's my birthday and I want a contract.”

�

�

�

“Why do you have a top hat?” Blaine emerged from the kitchen with mugs of fresh coffee for both of them, which he sat on the edge of the coffee table farthest from where Kurt was organizing the various items he'd pulled from his bag.

“Don't you have one?” Kurt said, without looking up from his preparations. He knew there was no reason to be nervous, but the butterflies in his stomach obviously hadn't gotten the memo. So he was focusing on details, trying to keep himself calm.

“Uh . . . no?” Blaine said.

“I'll give you one of mine. I only have three but two of them are black and even I don't really need two black top hats.”

“Thank you. But what I meant was, why do you have a top hat right now?”

Kurt looked up then and smiled at Blaine, who still stood by the couch in the black sweat pants he'd protested being made to wear. He'd argued that as it was Kurt's birthday weekend it was only right he should spend the entire 48 hours naked and waiting on his dom hand and foot. But Kurt knew it was important that they do this as equals, with no power dynamic going on at all. He'd wanted Blaine fully dressed. He himself was wearing a meticulously styled outfit that he'd put together three days ago just for this occasion. Blaine had eventually been persuaded to compromise on the sweats. He'd flatly refused to wear a shirt.

“All will be revealed,” Kurt said, patting the couch next to him. “It's a fun thing I came up with. At least I hope it'll be fun. If you don't like it we can do it some other way but I really think –”

“Kurt!” Blaine grabbed Kurt's hand as he sat. “You know I'm going to love whatever you come up with.”

“I know. I just really want this to be perfect. It's a big thing and I want to get it right.”

“You pretty much always do.”

Kurt squeezed Blaine's hand gratefully and then let go. “Top hat later. This first.” He slid a sheet of pale blue paper out from under the top hat and held it out to Blaine.

Blaine took the paper and studied the words printed there in elegant Papyrus. Kurt held his breath, waiting for a reaction. He would never admit how long he'd agonized over just the choice of font, never mind the actual words.

“Statement of Understanding Between Kurt Hummel and Blaine Anderson,” Blaine read aloud. He looked up from the page. “I like it.”

Kurt let out the breath he'd been holding. “I know I say contract all the time, but when I wrote it down it just looked too – clinical, I guess. It didn't really feel like us.”

“How do you mean?” Blaine asked. �

“We're not like most people,” Kurt said without hesitation.

“You noticed that too, huh?” Blaine laughed.

“But really. Specifically,” Kurt said, because he'd given this a whole lot of thought as he worked out what kind of things he wanted to include in their agreement. “I think most couples have more defined boundaries than we do. Finn and Rachel, they're kind of on all the time. That power dynamic is always there. I don't think Rachel could turn it off if she tried. That's not really us. But we're not like my dad and Carole either. They keep it all private. If you couldn't see their cuffs I honestly don't think you'd be able to tell who was the dom and who was the sub. You and I, we don't have edges and rules like that. I feel like with us the dom and sub are always there and the boyfriends are always there. I don't think we could be either/or. The ratios may change, but I never feel like I'm not being your boyfriend or not being your dom. It's all the same to me. And I really like it that way.”

Blaine smiled. “There's this thing that happens sometimes, where you'll be in total boyfriend mode, and then all of the sudden you do something that's so fucking dominant, out of the blue, and it just slams me into that headspace so fast I can hardly breathe. I can't even tell you how intense it is. It turns me on like you would not believe.”

“Good.” Kurt gave Blaine the provocative smile he'd been perfecting ever since they met, the one that made Blaine's eyes go green around the edges and his breath stutter in his chest so sharply that you could see it from the outside. “So you're with me on this?”

“Completely,” Blaine said like a vow.

“Keep reading then.”

Blaine held Kurt's eyes a moment longer, before lowering his gaze back to the paper.

“Kurt and Blaine both agree as follows. One. Kurt retains complete control of the pace and progress of the sexual side of the relationship.” He looked back up at Kurt. “Rule number one.”

“Always,” Kurt said.

“Two. Blaine will follow all direct commands given by Kurt.” Blaine's eyes lifted again. “Also as expected.”

“Keep going.”

“If Blaine is unable to follow a particular command, he will explain the reason to Kurt immediately. Kurt will then make the final decision as to whether the command stands.” For a third time Blaine lowered the paper and looked up at Kurt. “So if I have an issue with something and I explain it –”

“I can overrule you,” Kurt said firmly. “And if you still have a problem you can disobey, and accept the punishment, or you can safeword. But if it's not a big enough deal that you need to safeword, then you have to accept that sometimes I know what you need better than you do.”

For a moment Blaine just looked at Kurt, then he said, “For the record, this is one of those times I was talking about. With the head spinning.”

Kurt was pretty sure giggling would destroy that effect, but he giggled anyhow.

Blaine went back to the paper, but his voice was softer than it had been before. “Three. The mutually agreed safewords are ‘decrescendo' to slow down and ‘caesura' for full stop. Anyone can safeword at any time and safewords will always be respected. If there's distance involved a safeword can be texted or even simply spoken out loud and it will be considered official.”

“That's so you can safeword at work, if there's some instruction I give you that you're having too much trouble with,” Kurt explained.

Blaine bumped his foot against Kurt's. “You're already thinking of ways to dominate me from afar, huh?”

“Well after this year we won't actually be in the same building all day. I'm going to have to find new ways to keep you properly teased. Fortunately for you, I'm extremely creative.”

Blaine shook his head. “Still amazed I ever managed to think you wouldn't be an effective dom.”

“Making you eat those words is my new life goal.” Kurt flicked the edge of the paper with one finger. “Keep going. You're almost done.”

“Four. For infractions of the above rules, Kurt may punish Blaine as he sees fit. Punishments do not need to be disclosed beforehand. Blaine may safeword out of a punishment, but Kurt expects him to remember that punishments are meant to be unpleasant, and only safeword if he truly needs to.” Blaine paused. “So I don't get to know how you'll punish me?”

Kurt took a deep, slow breath. The idea of punishment, when he really sat and thought about it, brought up all sorts of uncomfortable thoughts and feelings, not the least of which was how much it turned him on just to hear Blaine say the word. “I'm still kind of figuring out how I feel about punishment,” he said finally. “We talked about it a lot in dom class. But it's still a little sketchy for me.”

“How do you mean?”

He couldn't quite bring himself to meet Blaine's gaze, so he picked up his coffee mug instead, took a sip, and focused on the reflected light bobbing in its surface. “Mira talked about two kinds of punishment. The kind that's really part of the sex – like play punishment. It's supposed to turn you on. Like a fantasy.”

Blaine made a little noise in his throat but when Kurt glanced up at him he was silent again, just watching, intent.

“Then there's the real kind. For when a sub really messes up. To make sure you don't do whatever you did again. Part of the problem is that I can't actually imagine you ever doing anything that needs punishing like that.” He looked up once more, and this time Blaine was smiling.

“I will, you know. At some point. I'm not perfect.”

“What?!” Kurt gasped, and he relaxed a little when Blaine grinned, naturally and freely, as if there wasn't anything to be stressed about and the idea of him being punished by a teenager was perfectly natural. “I guess I feel like I need some room to figure out what punishment means for me. For us. What I want from it and how you respond to it. Don't get me wrong, there will definitely be punishment if you screw up, but I think I'm going to have to improvise a little until we get it right.”

“I'm very okay with improvising,” Blaine breathed.

Kurt smiled. “There's only one more. Read it.”

Blaine let his gaze linger on Kurt before returning to the paper in his hand. “Five. In any situation that isn't covered by the rules established in this understanding, or any other specific command given by Kurt, Blaine is always free and expected to act according to his own best judgment and he will never be subject to punishment for doing what he sincerely believes is right.” He raised his eyes, and this time they were wide with surprise.

“I know sometimes I get insecure and I expect you to read my mind without really clueing you in,” Kurt explained. “I wanted to make sure we had something official, to remind me that you're your own person, with your own choices to make, and sometimes they have nothing to do with me. So you can wave that in my face if I ever forget it.”

“Do you have any idea how much you're turning me on right now?” Blaine asked, but there was more affection than arousal in his voice.

Kurt laughed. “Just trying to be a responsible soulmate.”

“Seriously, though. Thank you.” Blaine took Kurt's hand and squeezed it. “It means a lot to me that you remembered that, and put it in.”

“Well it is my job to take care of you.” It should have sounded silly, given the fact that Kurt was only seventeen, but the words came out of his mouth carrying a weight he hadn't expected. And he could see from Blaine's face that he felt it too.

“And you do a very good job.”

They smiled at each other then, one of their goofy-in-love moments, and Kurt let it linger before he finally dropped Blaine's hand and turned back to the coffee table. “So if you don't have anything you want to add to that, we can get on to the fun part.” He picked up the top hat and placed it on the couch between them.

“I think the agreement is perfect. I like that it's short and to the point. It gives us lots of room to find our own way and I think we still need that.” Blaine set the agreement carefully on the table and then peered into the hat at the pieces of folded paper it held. “I'm ready. Hit me with the fun part!”

“Well I hope it's fun. I think it is.” Kurt was looking forward to this part but he was still a little nervous. After all, he knew what kinks were written on those pieces of paper. And the little game he'd created might make it easier to start talking, but the fact remained that they'd still have to do that talking. About all kinds of potentially embarrassing things.� “So I decided to write all the kinks down on paper and put them in the hat,” he said. “And that way nobody has to be the one to bring up a particular thing, and it's not as clinical as going down a list. I've combined some stuff, just to save time, but I think all the major ones are there. And this way it's completely random.”

Blaine was still smiling encouragingly at him so Kurt grabbed his little stack of labeled bowls and began arranging them in a neat row on the coffee table. “The idea is, one of us picks from the hat, and whatever kink is written down, we talk about. Starting with whoever didn't pick it. To keep it really fair. We have to be totally honest, with no judgment or second guessing. We both say how we really feel, completely honest and no judgment, then we decide together what bowl to put it in.”

Blaine leaned forward and peered at the labels on the four bowls. The one on the left was a very straightforward Oh Dear God Please Yes. �On the rightmost end was Never in a Million Years. In between were two bowls, one labeled Definitely Worth Trying and the other Proceed With Extreme Caution.

“Is it okay?” Kurt asked. “I know most people would go with yes, no and maybe, or hard and soft limits, but there's so many variables those don't cover and I want to be really sure we're both on the same page before we –”

“It's great,” Blaine said. “You have truly thought of everything. So who picks first?”

“I'm claiming dom privilege and making you do it.”

“You get to claim dom privilege but I have to wear pants,” Blaine grumbled, but his eyes twinkled as he reached into the hat. He made a show of stirring and sifting the papers, humming a little to himself, and just when Kurt was about to scold him (because he was nervous enough without drawing this out longer than necessary), Blaine lifted out one folded slip. “Nice,” he said, with a nod to its artfully fluted edges.

“I have craft scissors and I know how to use them.”

Blaine unfolded the little piece of paper and his eyebrows shot skyward so fast that Kurt had to suppress a chuckle. He didn't want to Blaine to think he was laughing at him. Not when they were just starting out.

“Watersports,” Blaine read, his voice sharp and high, like he was trying not to laugh too. “Wow. You really didn't leave anything out.”

“I told you I was thorough. How else are we supposed to figure out what we're really into?” Kurt snatched the paper from Blaine's hand by one fluted edge. “Fortunately for you, I have no desire to pee on you.” He let the giggle surface as he reached to drop the paper in the right-most bowl.

Blaine's fingers brushed Kurt's wrist. “Wait.”

Kurt stared at Blaine. Pink was starting to dust the tops of Blaine's ears. His lips were pressed together in a line and turned down at the corners. It was a thing Blaine only did when he was angry. Or nervous. The though sent fear like a spike through Kurt's belly. Blaine was nervous. About watersports.

“Oh God, you want me to pee on you!”

Blaine's eyes went wide and alarmed.

“Crap!” Kurt fumbled for words, “I'm judging. I'm not supposed to be judging. I made up these rules and I'm already -”

“Kurt!” Blaine grabbed his hand tight this time, and Kurt lapsed into silence. “Aren't we both supposed to have a chance to talk about each thing?”

Kurt nodded.

“I don't want you to pee on me.”

“Thank God,” Kurt breathed, before another terrifying possibility occurred to him. “You want to pee on me?”

Blaine laughed right out loud at that. “No! Would you let me talk?”

Kurt mimed zipping his lip with his free hand.

“I don't want anyone to pee on anyone. I promise.”

“But . . .” Kurt prompted.

“But I do think I could like it if you . . . sometimes . . . controlled that.”

If the way the pink in Blaine's ears started spreading down his neck and across his cheeks was any indication, Kurt guessed that “could like it” was an understatement.

“What do you mean?” he asked.

Blaine's eyes flickered toward the floor but then came right back up to look at Kurt, open and trusting. “I mean, maybe make me ask to use the bathroom. And sometimes say no. Or give me some task that I have to complete perfectly before I can go. Let me get a little desperate before you give me permission.”

Kurt's own face was starting to feel hot now, although he wasn't sure if he was reacting to what Blaine was asking for or just the general idea of desperate Blaine.

“Or maybe you could tease me, when I really have to go, before you give me permission. Edge me and keep me close. Make me hold back an orgasm when I'm already trying to hold back –"

Kurt stopped him with two fingers pressed to his lips. Much as he wanted to hear more, at this rate they'd be back in bed before they got through a tenth of his little papers. He gave Blaine what he hoped was an evil smile, took the paper from him, picked up his pen, and under Watersports wrote in tiny, neat letters, Control and Desperation. Then, still smiling at Blaine, he dropped it deliberately in the bowl labeled Oh Dear God Please Yes.

“One down!” he said, feeling more confident now that they had one – and a big one too – under their belts. He reached into the hat to choose his slip of paper.

The next few were easy. Bondage joined controlled watersports in the yes bowl (after Blaine spent several minutes trying to persuade Kurt that being tied up right then would be the best way to ensure total candor on his part); bestiality and infantilism went quickly into the no bowl, and orgasm denial, (“Really, Kurt?” “Well we need to cover everything!”) joined the two on the left. Kurt was just starting to think that maybe they'd all be like that – maybe he and Blaine were so in sync that they wouldn't even need the maybe bowls – when he unfolded his next pick.

“Humiliation,” he said, flipping the paper around to show Blaine.

For the first time since they'd started, Blaine actually looked uncomfortable. Some of the color left his face and his Adam's apple worked around a swallow.

“I guess they can't all be as easy as bondage or orgasm denial,” Kurt said as Blaine's silence dragged on. He turned more fully toward Blaine, running his fingers gently up and down Blaine's thigh. He wasn't used to his oh-so-experienced soulmate being rendered speechless. At least not when it came to talking about kinky things.

“Wow,” Blaine finally said. “I didn't expect it to be this hard to say.”

“What?” Kurt prompted.

Blaine stared at Kurt with the open, questioning gaze that Kurt had learned meant he was heading into that submissive place, where he needed Kurt to be more of a dom than a boyfriend. He stopped stroking, and squeezed Blaine's thigh more firmly.� “It's okay. Just tell me what you like. No judgment, remember?”

“For some reason it feels strange, to say I want to be humiliated. I mean, I've been doing this a long time. I know what I like. But it feels different saying it to you.”

Kurt kept his eyes firmly on Blaine's, and his hand strong on his thigh, trying his best to look calm and reassuring, and slowly Blaine's shoulders crept back down to their normal position and the muscles under Kurt's hand began to soften.

“It's just that it's kind of hard for me to describe,” Blaine said. “I mean, I know I don't want you to call me names or tell me I'm stupid, or that I suck, or that my dick's too small –”

“None of which I have any desire to do.”

“But I like it when you set a high bar. It makes living up to your expectations feel fucking amazing. And when I don't – when I fuck up or fall short or don't give you my best – I don't want you to hold back because I might feel bad. I'm not saying that I want to feel like my feelings don't matter, just that they're my problem to deal with, I guess. Not yours.”

“So, you don't want to be directly humiliated, but you don't want me to let your potential humiliation affect how I act. What I say or do or expect from you.”

Blaine finally smiled, and it was like the sun coming out again. “Exactly! You got it exactly. And I really like it when you point out how desperate I am, for you, or to come or whatever. I love that. That's kind of humiliation, right?”

“I guess,” Kurt said. “I think it's whatever we say it is. As for me –”

Blaine's hand on his knee stopped Kurt. “I still have one more thing.”

“Okay.”

“But I don't want you to take it the wrong way.”

“Okay,” Kurt said again.

This time it was different. Blaine's eyes weren't as open and trusting, Kurt could see wariness, at least he could until Blaine lowered them to watch his own hand, where it still rested on Kurt's knee.

“It's sort of about the age difference.”

Kurt's breath caught in his throat, but he forced it out, steady and slow, because this was no judgment time and Blaine was being honest and the least he could do was control his reactions. “The age difference humiliates you?” he asked, as gently as he could manage.

“God! No!” Blaine's reaction was too immediate to be anything but honest. “I'm fine with it, you know I am, right?” Blaine's eyes searched his, but Kurt must not have been as successful as he'd hoped at hiding his feelings because Blaine grabbed his hands and leaned in close. “I swear to you. This isn't about that.”

“But you said –”

“I'm talking about other people. I know how most people see us, and what they must think about me when they see us together. Especially if you were to dominate me more – in public. More than we do now.”

“Oh! Wait!” Kurt pulled one hand away from Blaine and rifled through the papers still in his top hat. “I have public domination in here. We can –”

“Kurt!” Blaine said, recapturing Kurt's hand in a strong grip. “We can find it later, okay. Just listen to me.”

Kurt let Blaine pull him away from the hat and pressed his lips together in a silent promise that made Blaine chuckle.

“I know what people think,” Blaine picked up where he left off, “and yeah, their reactions, even if they're just in my head, are embarrassing. And even humiliating. And I know that makes it sound like I do have a problem with it but – I guess that's what makes this all so complicated. What I'm trying to say is that, if you were to dominate me more in public, I wouldn't want you to take into account whether or not I'm embarrassed. That's the kind of humiliation I like. You do exactly what you want, and my feelings about it are my problem. Unless it's something we've talked about, obviously.” He smiled at Kurt, who still had his lips tight together. “You may speak now.”

“So first,” Kurt said, “I'll only agree to that if you swear to me that you'll safeword the minute your feelings lean more toward the bad humiliation than the good kind.”

“Promise,” Blaine said.

“And second, is that what you really want? For us to do more in public?”

Blaine was silent for a moment, and Kurt couldn't quite interpret his expression. “When I think about you dominating me in public,” he finally said, “it scares me so much. It messes up my insides, like someone's reaching in and grabbing a handful of whatever they can find and twisting like crazy. But it also does this.” He pulled Kurt's hand into his own lap and pressed it lightly against his own lap, and Kurt could feel his cock hard and upright. It flexed hungrily against the gentle touch of Kurt's fingers.

“How do you feel about it?” Blaine asked, still holding Kurt's hand close.

“What I want,” Kurt said, as Blaine's cock continued to throb under his touch, “is to do what feels right to me. No matter where we are or who we're with. It's not really my goal to humiliate you, but I like the idea of not having to stop myself if I have an – impulse.”

“That's what I want,” Blaine breathed. “I mean, I know we have to make allowances, at school, or when we're around certain people, but otherwise . . .”

Kurt gave Blaine's cock a little farewell squeeze before sliding his hand away to pick up the pen again. “I'm going to change this to Situational Humiliation. It's the best I can come up with on short notice,” he said, scribbling words on the slip of paper. “And I'm going to put it – here.” He indicated the Definitely Worth Trying bowl. “And when public domination turns up we'll stick them together. Okay?”

Blaine nodded, and Kurt dropped the paper in its proper place. Then he grabbed Blaine by the back of the neck, pulled him close, and kissed him quite thoroughly, using Blaine's first surprised moan to push his tongue into his soulmate's perfect mouth and not stopping until he managed to elicit several more.

“What was that for?” Blaine gasped when Kurt finally released him.

“For making it through the first hard one. I thought we deserved a reward.”

“Hopefully they'll all be as hard,” Blaine said with a grin.

Kurt picked up the top hat and held it out to him. “Let's find out. Your turn.”

�But luck apparently wasn't on the side of more rewarding kisses because the next few went back to being much easier. Cross-Dressing was the first paper to land in the Extreme Caution bowl, followed quickly by Dirty Talk (because the idea of actually trying to talk dirty made Kurt feel like his diaphragm had been replaced by a hyperactive hamster running the fifty-yard dash on a turbo-charged wheel). Sharing was immediately relegated to Never in a Million Years (because the idea of letting anyone else touch Blaine turned the hamster into something that resembled a rabid Tasmanian tiger). Public Domination was found and joined its partner in Definintely Worth Trying. The soulmate bond must definitely be everything people said it was, because even Kurt was surprised by how in sync they seemed to be when deciding where each kink fit, or not, into their lives. Paper by paper they made their way toward the bottom of the hat, more quickly than Kurt had imagined they would. Come Play had just been dropped in Definitely Worth Trying (after Blaine swore that any mess would be his responsibility to clean up) when Kurt peered over the brim and discovered there were only three folded slips left.

“I'm up!” Blaine reached into the hat and stirred around the final three papers. When he finally lifted one, he closed his eyes and opened it in Kurt's direction.

“Ooh!”

Blaine's eyes popped open at Kurt's exclamation and he pulled the paper back so that he too could read the words written there. “I like that Pain Play makes you go ‘ooh,'” he said with a smile.

“I've been waiting for this one.”

“I can already feel my hard-on coming back.”

Kurt gave Blaine a playful slap on the thigh.

“That won't exactly help the situation,” Blaine said.

Kurt smacked him again for good measure. “Who says I want to help the situation?”

“We still have three more kinks left,” Blaine reminded him, doing his best to look severe. “You were the one who had to do this today.”

Kurt snatched the paper from Blaine and tried for a dramatic sigh, but he had to laugh at the eager expression on Blaine's face. “Well first,” he began, “I kind of lumped all the sensation stuff in with this. I thought about making separate papers for the all different ways to create sensation, but it got out of hand pretty quickly. There's just a lot, you know? We could be here for days.”

“I definitely wouldn't want that,” Blaine said.

“And what it all really comes down to is, I want to hurt you.” Kurt looked at Blaine, said it right to him, and even he was a little surprised that, unlike Blaine with humiliation, he felt no hesitation at all in admitting that. “Or maybe I should say, I want to make you feel things. Intense things. Extreme things even. When you talk about me pushing you and taking you deeper, this is where my mind goes. Heat and cold and pressure and pain and impact – I want to try it all. Clamps and, I don't know, ball crushers maybe, and definitely paddles and crops and someday whips –”

“Oh God. Oh my God, Kurt.” Blaine's head thumped into the back of the sofa and the Pain Play paper slipped from his hand.

“What? Do you not want some of that? Because I could probably forgo the ball crushers. If that's a limit for you.”

“No, it's just . . . I mean I want it, holy fuck, Kurt . . .” Blaine was gasping a little around his words and he pressed one hand hard against his own crotch. “Hearing you say it like that. It was . . . with the head spinning . . .”

“Oh.” Kurt knew he should back off but seeing Blaine like that, trying so hard to control his arousal, well he couldn't help it if that brought out the dom in him, could he? He leaned closer to Blaine and whispered against his ear. “Should I wait for you to . . .”

Blaine closed his eyes and moaned.

“I'll just wait then.” Kurt settled back into his own space. He resisted the urge to tease more, opting instead to just watch the show as his sub struggled to bring himself back under control. Eventually Blaine's breathing began to settle into a more normal pattern and he opened his eyes.

“So I'm guessing that's an Oh Dear God Please Yes for you,” Kurt said.

Blaine just blinked at him, gaze still slightly unfocused.

“You can talk. I think I've said all I should say on this subject,” Kurt tried to keep a straight face but his smirk crept through just the same.

“You don't even know,” Blaine said. “You just completely hit the nail on the head for me.”

“Interesting metaphor . . .”

“Kurt.”

“Sorry. Talk.”

Blaine's head was still lolling against the back of the couch, but he turned and looked at Kurt. “I don't think I'm a masochist, really,” he began. “I mean, I like all those things you said. Even the ball crushers. Probably. It's certainly something to shoot for.” He broke off and bit down hard on his bottom lip and Kurt could have sworn he could see Blaine's cock twitching inside his sweats.

“But you're not a masochist,” he prompted, because seeing Blaine looking so wrecked was giving him all kinds of wonderful ideas for things they could do the second they put away that last paper.

“I don't think it's the pain that I get off on, exactly,” Blaine said. “For me it's about submission. Enduring the pain, and accepting it and even embracing it because my dom requires it. Because it turns you on to hurt me. It's kind of like orgasm denial that way. It reminds me that I'm here for your pleasure. That my body is yours to use however you like. So when you said all that, and you were so enthusiastic about it and so confident, that's just exactly what gets me going.”

“Clearly.” Kurt was sure he was looking more goofy-proud than dom-like, but whatever he looked like it seemed to be working for Blaine.

“I like to be pushed that way.” Blaine sat up and leaned closer to Kurt. “I like to be used that way. It's . . .”

“Head-spinning?” Kurt asked.

“So very head-spinning,” Blaine said.

“Well I'd ask you what you're particularly into, but given what talking about this does to you, maybe it's better if you just tell me what you know you don't want.”

“You're very smart,” Blaine said, leaning back against the cushions again. “Well I don't want to be cut, or marked in any permanent way. Nothing that draws blood or anything. And I do get a certain thrill from the idea of sounding, but in reality there's just so much that could go wrong. Really, really wrong. Other than that, though, I think I'm willing to try almost anything.”

“Anything? Really?”

Blaine smiled at him. “I know you keep telling me how deep and dark your fantasies are, but in this case I think you being inexperienced works in our favor. Whatever you're going to try, I know you'll start small, and carefully, because that's who you are. So I'm pretty sure if there's something I don't like, we'll figure it out before I can be traumatized too badly.”

Kurt picked up the paper that said Pain Play from where Blaine had dropped it on the sofa and held it by a corner over the Oh Dear God Please Yes bowl. “So I gather we're putting this here?”

“Duh,” Blaine said.

Kurt dropped it in. “Only two left!” he said, reaching into the hat to take his turn. He wished he could remember which two kinks they hadn't encountered yet, but they'd been through so many that he'd totally lost track. “Eeny meeny miny –”

“Just pick already!” Blaine bounced anxiously on the couch.

Kurt pulled one of the papers out with a flourish and flipped it open. “Role play,” he told Blaine.

“Ooh.” Blaine's eyebrows waggled suggestively. “That's something I've actually never tried.”

“Really?”

“Well I was never with anyone more than once. So we never got around to pretending to be anything other than the strangers we usually were,” Blaine said. Then he smiled at Kurt, the provocative smile, complete with coy, under-the-lashes gaze. “I do have a fantasy, though."

“Well now's the time for it.”

“Ever since we met, I've wanted to try a teacher-student thing.”

Kurt frowned. “You mean like our regular, everyday life?”

“No silly. I mean with me as the wayward student. And you as the teacher. Or the headmaster. The very strict headmaster.”

The look on Blaine's face was so eager and expectant that Kurt's cock stirred in response. “Well despite being a consummate actor,” he said, “I never really thought about role playing in the bedroom. But I'm pretty sure I could rock kinky headmaster.”

“And I'm pretty sure I could still fit into my Dalton uniform.” Blaine raised one eyebrow, like a challenge.

With a quick glance at Blaine Kurt held “Role Play” over the Definitely Worth Trying bowl. When Blaine nodded he dropped it in and pushed the top hat practically under Blaine's nose. “Get that last one over with and maybe I'll warm up for my teacher role by giving your ass a few swats,” he said, matching Blaine's challenge with his own. “After all, it's my birthday. Somebody should get a spanking.”

Blaine snatched the final paper up and practically ripped it open. But he went still when he read the words written on it.

Kurt watched him, trying to be patient, racking his brain to remember what kink they hadn't yet talked about. Blaine took a few deep breaths before he said, still looking down at the paper, “Chastity Cage.”

Kurt was so amazed he'd managed to forget that one that he wanted to smack himself on the forehead. Because this was something he was definitely all over. “I have a confession to make,” he said.

Blaine looked up at that, but he didn't speak.

“I may have already picked one out. I mean, not like I ordered it or anything, because you have to measure and stuff for that, but oh my God Blaine, they make some really beautiful ones. Not all ugly plastic like you'd think. I found this one that's mostly steel bars, like a real cage, and there's even a place where you can get it engraved. You know, ‘Property of Kurt Hummel?'”

But Blaine's eyes had drifted back down to look at the paper in his hand.

“Which, in case you couldn't figure it out, means I'm into it. That kind of control – it's just – well I might as well just say it completely turns me on. Not that I'd want to just lock you up and throw away the key, but sometimes, you know. Just as another way to play.” He was babbling now but Blaine's silence was starting to freak him out a little.

“And you're feeling . . . ?” he prompted as the silence dragged on.

Blaine looked up again, but he didn't quite meet Kurt's eyes. “I guess I never really thought about it,” he said at last.

That surprised Kurt. “But – you love denial so much. And you really like when I control you that way. This is like the ultimate expression of that control, isn't it?”

“But I like getting hard, too,” Blaine said quietly. “That's the whole point for me. Being hard, the pressure and the aching and the need. Being so close to what I need so badly but not going there because you forbid it. Controlling myself so that I can please you. A cage takes that away.” He looked right at Kurt, finally, eyes pleading for something, but Kurt wasn't sure what it was.

“But we agreed that I'm in charge of your sexual expression,” Kurt said. “And erections are part of that. I really like the idea of being able to control when you get hard or not.” Blaine didn't answer, only stared. “And you like things that mess with your head. What's more of a mind fuck than being so desperately needy but at the same time not being able to get hard?”

Blaine looked back down at his hands. “I'm sorry. I know you're into it. I just don't think that's somewhere I want to go.”

“Think about at school,” Kurt persisted. “I could tease you as much as I want because we wouldn't have to worry about you calming down. I could drive you insane right up to the minute you had to head to class. I could send you dirty texts and not have to worry about you being inappropriate in front of thirty freshmen.” Kurt kept talking, spinning scenarios, because he couldn't quite believe that Blaine wasn't on board for this. It had just seemed so obvious to him. But unlike when he was talking about pain, Blaine didn't seem to have any reaction at all to things that, in Kurt's experience, he very much should have been reacting to.

Kurt knew there must be more to this than just not liking a kink – Blaine's entire demeanor was oddly detached. And if there was one thing Blaine never was when Kurt was talking about sex, it was detached. But he wasn't sure if now was the time to push or not. Maybe negotiations were a time to just accept Blaine's word. Every instinct rebelled against that, and not just because the idea of a chastity cage turned him on so much. It didn't make sense that as soulmates they could be this much out of sync.

“This is just you not being into it, right?” he said as Blaine's silence dragged on. “There's not some bigger issue here is there?”

Blaine took a breath, but then he looked directly at Kurt, his earlier hesitation gone. “It's just not something I want,” he said. “And I'm sorry because you really do, but like you said. They can't all be bondage and orgasm denial. We have all kinds of things to enjoy together. But not this one.”

Kurt made one last effort. “Can we at least put it in Extreme Caution? Maybe talk about it later?”

“Kurt.”

“Right. Okay. No cages.” He watched wistfully as the paper fluttered to the top of the Never in a Million Years pile. But he suppressed the farewell sigh that wanted to make itself heard and instead turned and smiled at Blaine as suggestively as he knew how. “Although I may have to swat you extra hard, to punish you for thwarting my desires.”

Blaine's answering smile was full of relief. “I accept that and any other punishment you see fit.” He put a hand on Kurt's thigh. “Seriously though. Thank you.”

“That's the negotiation part of the negotiating,” Kurt said. “And we're done!” He waved a hand to indicate the four bowls in front of them, each with its pile of little fluted slips of paper. “Behold our sexual future. Later on I'll write them all up in lists and we can attach them to the agreement and we'll be completely official.”

Kurt reached out to collect up all the little bowls but Blaine captured his sleeve and pulled his arm back. “Actually, there's one more thing I'd like to negotiate.”

“Oh. Okay.” Kurt put down the bowl in his hand and sat back, giving Blaine his full attention.

Blaine squirmed a little under Kurt's gaze, but he was smiling, so Kurt figured at least this was a good something he wanted to negotiate. He waited, silently, for Blaine to collect his thoughts.

“Sometimes,” Blaine began, once again not quite meeting Kurt's eyes, “like yesterday, in my office, when you let me blow you, and you basically tortured me until I thought my dick might explode if I didn't come, in moments like that when you own me so completely, with no hesitation . . . I think it in my head and it's so good, and I want to say it out loud, I want give it that to you, to us, and honestly you're already doing it but I don't know if you're ready for me to . . .”

“Blaine,” Kurt interrupted. “You're rambling. And I have no idea what you're talking about.”

Blaine finally lifted his eyes to Kurt's, and he worried his bottom lip between his teeth for a second before he said, “There are times, more and more of them, actually, when you are completely, one hundred percent . . . my master. And I'm –”

“My slave?” Kurt had to push the words out, probably because his heart was suddenly taking up most of the room in his throat. Just hearing Blaine say the word out loud sent things buzzing through him in every direction, all tangled up so that it felt impossible to tell the good buzzing from the bad.

“I actually think of myself as your boy.” Blaine said, sending more shivery electricity through Kurt's body. “It's so perfect, in my head, and the thought of saying it out loud . . . in those moments, I just really want to acknowledge what you're already doing. I want to be able to call you that, see your face when I do.”

Blaine looked so honest and loving and Kurt wanted so much to give him something, some reassurance, but even just hearing Blaine say it made him feel like he was staring into a deep, dark cavern and speech, even just one word, would send him toppling over the edge. And he had no idea whether he wanted to fall or not.

“I know you don't want us to be that, all the time,” Blaine continued, “and I don't either. I like this too. Just us. And I know that you're afraid because of how we started, how I didn't say your name, but I swear this isn't about not acknowledging you. In fact, it's just the opposite because there's no one but you who could ever be that for me.”

Kurt sucked a deep breath past the barricade in his throat, enough to murmur, “But you told me on the day we met that you called all the doms you were with . . . that.”

“Because I was pretending they were you,” Blaine insisted. “We've been over this. I can't change anything I did before I met you. But I swear to you . . . there are other Kurts in the world, and my mother raised me to respect my elders so pretty much anyone over the age of sixty is going to be called sir.” He reached for Kurt's hand, lifted it and laced his warm, softer fingers through Kurt's. “But you are the only person in the whole world who'll ever hear ‘master' from me again. For as long as I live. Please, Kurt. Just think about it, okay?”

Kurt stared at their hands, clasped tight together, and then up into Blaine's earnest gaze. It would be so easy to end this right here. He could simply say he wasn't ready, and it wouldn't really even be a lie, and he knew Blaine would accept it. He'd be disappointed, but he'd accept. But while they were talking about things that had happened when they'd first met, Kurt couldn't hide from the fact that he'd told Blaine that day that if they couldn't be honest they didn't stand a chance. He'd also said that he trusted their bond above all else. Even when the things Blaine wanted terrified him.

“It does scare me,” he finally admitted, “but not really for the reasons you think. Just hearing you say it here on the couch – it makes my head spin. And that's not really a good thing for a dom. I have to be in control. I can't let go the way you can. And when you call me that, all I can think about is letting go.” Blaine's eyes went wide with surprise and Kurt squeezed tighter into the reassurance of his strong hand. “I want it,” his voice was hardly more than a whisper, “I do, it's so exciting even just to think about, but when I do think about it, it's like I don't know where it ends. I can't see the bottom, Blaine. I feel like I could get lost in it and not find my way out. I guess you could say I'm afraid of where it could take us. I like the balance we have now, and this is heavy. Heavier than any of that stuff,” he tossed his head toward the bowls of paper. “I don't even know why. It's just a word. But it has all this meaning and I feel like I could lose control of it and that's really scary, you know?”

Blaine watched Kurt as he spoke, and slowly his expression changed from the anxious intensity he'd started out with to something different. Kurt's words seem to be stirring something inside him. When Kurt finished speaking, Blaine pulled his hand gently away and turned to look at the arrangement of objects on the coffee table. He leaned forward, hands clasped against his chin, and contemplated the bowls. For the space of several long, slow breaths he didn't speak. Then without turning back from the table he said, slowly and carefully, “I think what it all comes down to is trust. You trusting me when I say that I won't let you lose yourself. I would safeword the minute it went farther than I wanted it to. You know that. And I can't ever imagine you being so far gone that you'd ignore a safeword.”

“You know I'd never –”

“But it's more than that,” Blaine interrupted him without looking up. “We also have to trust ourselves. Trust these,” he nodded at the bowls in front of him. “Our choices. Understand that they may take us places we don't expect.” He was very quiet now, choosing his words with a care that seemed to Kurt to be bigger than this discussion called for. “Wherever we end up, if one of us doesn't like it, we'll end it. That's a given. But if that doesn't happen, if we both like where we are even if it's not someplace we think we want to be, now, looking ahead, then maybe that's where we were always meant to end up. We can't know the future. All we can do is trust each other. And what we feel.”

Kurt waited, but Blaine just kept staring at the bowls, without speaking. Finally, he reached down into his bag and pulled out one of the blank pieces of paper that he'd prepared for just such an eventuality. He picked up his pen and carefully inscribed Master/boy on the slip, then set it down on the table exactly in between Definitely Worth Trying and Proceed With Extreme Caution.

Blaine looked up at him with wide, surprised eyes. “Is that your way of saying maybe?”

“No. This isn't a maybe. It's me giving you permission to call me whatever you feel like, in the moment, unless I've told you differently. I don't know how I'll react or how far it'll go, but you can do it.”

He expected to be tackled and kissed by a happy, excited Blaine. At the very least he expected the strange, wary look to disappear. But instead Blaine just closed his eyes and exhaled on a long sigh.

“I guess now we –”

“You're so much braver than I could ever be.” Blaine opened his eyes again and finally fixed them firmly on Kurt. They glinted, as if he'd been crying, but there weren't any tears.

“That's not true!” Kurt laid a hand on Blaine's thigh, a little alarmed by this turn of events.

“It is. You're seventeen years old and you're already so much braver. I don't deserve you at all.”

“That's nonsense and you know it. What brought this on?”

Blaine looked down at Kurt's hand resting on his leg. “I know how you feel. When you said that, about wanting it in a way that seemed dangerous. Like you could get lost in it. Like it went so deep and you couldn't see the bottom.” He reached with a hand that trembled visibly and picked up the folded slip of paper on the very top of the Never in a Million Years pile. He just held it for a moment, then slowly unfolded it so they both could read what was printed on it.

Chastity Cage.

Kurt held his breath.

“When I think about you locking me up, taking that away from me, it feels like taking everything, every tiny little bit of who I am, and putting it in your hands. Not keeping a single atom back for me.”

“That's what you've been telling me you want,” Kurt said softly.

Blaine laughed, harsh and loud in the wake of their quiet words. “I guess that's the definition of be careful what you wish for, huh? I want it. More than I should. I'm scared I'll lose myself in it. If we start, I don't know where I'll end up.” He gave Kurt a wry smile. “Sound familiar?”

“You know I would never let anything happen to –”

“It's not like that. It's in here.” Blaine pressed a hand to his own chest. “It's about who I am. Who it makes me. See for you it's the word. The idea has more power than anything we actually do with each other. For me words are just tools, to create things in our minds. This,” he fluttered the paper, “is real. It's doing something to me. Changing something fundamental.”

“So do you need me to repeat all the things you just said to me? About trust?”

“No.” Blaine reached out with a hand that was still shaking and carefully placed Cock Cage right on top of Master/boy in the center of the lineup of bowls. “This isn't maybe either,” he said, looking back at Kurt while his hand still rested on the papers. “It's please be gentle. And patient. Maybe give me a little time to get used to the idea.”

“So I shouldn't bring over my tape measure any time soon?” Kurt smiled. “Or start calculating circumferences?”

Blaine smiled and lowered his eyes in that submissive way that told Kurt that somehow he'd handled this correctly and everything was starting to be all right again. “Maybe this summer,” he said. “When we can be together every day. I'm pretty sure I'll need you with me, at least at first.”

Kurt pulled Blaine close again, like he'd done after Humiliation, and kissed him hard and deep. Blaine's hand finally left the two papers on the table and he wrapped both his arms around Kurt's neck and returned the kiss with typical Blaine enthusiasm. He was still trembling – Kurt could feel it against his body, but the tremors slowed, then stopped altogether, and Blaine moved even closer, pushing Kurt backward and straddling his lap. When they finally broke the kiss Kurt let his head rest on the back of the couch and smiled up at his perfect sub.

“I'm sorry I wasn't honest,” Blaine said. “With you or with myself. If you feel the need to punish me I'm sure I deserve it.”

“Actually I kind of feel like you deserve to be rewarded, since you did something that was really hard for you.” Kurt ran his hands up and down Blaine's bare back, loving the way his position made the muscles flex under his hands. “And since we seem to finally be done here, I am still owed a birthday blowjob.”

Blaine smiled provocatively, easily falling into the security of Kurt's dominance, and started working the buttons of Kurt's shirt. “I have a better idea,” he said. “I think you should fuck me again. Like last night. That would be an awesome reward.”

“Hmmm . . .” Kurt pretended that he had to think about it.

“Please?” Blaine locked eyes with Kurt and leaned as close as he could while still keeping Kurt's face in focus. “Please Master?” he whispered, rolling his hips against Kurt's. “Please fuck your boy.”

And when Blaine said “master” like that, staring deep into Kurt's eyes, it was just exactly as if he was saying “Kurt,” except hotter, it made fire lick down into the pit of Kurt's stomach. He flipped them quickly, stretching Blaine out along the couch and pressing him down into it. He could already feel Blaine's cock hardening against his own.

“I don't know. That sounds like a pretty big reward. Do you think you deserve it boy?”

If there was any awkwardness about saying it, it disappeared completely when Blaine threw his head back and moaned, long and low. Kurt took advantage of his position to latch onto Blaine's neck just below his pulse point and suck. Blaine writhed, pressing up against Kurt's weight, but Kurt pulled back just enough to deny him any real friction.

“You didn't answer me boy,” he said.

“I have a better idea,” Blaine breathed. “I could ride you. Then I'd have to do all the work. And your hands would be free to torture me. Try out some of those things we just agreed on.” He wiggled his eyebrows and Kurt had to admit it looked much less comical when he was laid out like this, hips thrusting, hickey starting to darken on the exposed flesh of his neck.

“Like this?” Kurt asked, pinching one of Blaine's nipples hard between his fingers.

“Oh God, fuuuuck,” Blaine moaned. “You aren't wasting any time, are you?”

“I told you before I was ready to go further,” Kurt said, trying to sound as erotically evil as he could. He pulled back all the way, sitting up and leaving Blaine trembling (in the good way this time) on the sofa. “Bedroom. Naked. Thirty seconds.”

“Yes Master,” Blaine whispered, and then he was off like a shot, pulling his sweats down before he was even halfway across the room.

Kurt watched him go, then he lingered there on the couch, looking at his top hat and the bowls full of printed, scallop-edged slips of paper. For a minute he just let himself feel proud, really proud, of himself and of Blaine. He reached out and rested his fingers on the pair of kinks that sat by themselves in the center of the line of bowls.

Trust. It always came down to trust, of course, and honesty, and he loved that they knew that and reinforced it for each other. He felt in that moment like they could accomplish anything. Like he could accomplish anything. Be anything Blaine needed him to be. No matter where they ended up. He was fairly sure that he was feeling, in a new and breathtaking way, like a master.

He pressed once more on the twin slips, then stood up headed into the bedroom to fuck his boy.