It was remarkably soft. And bright blue. And huge. And he really needed to put it back in the drawer but his body was frozen, a complete slave to his brain which couldn’t stop imagining.

Blaine. Blaine with his mouth on it. (Had he practiced with this before the first time he’d gone down on Kurt? Was that why he’d been able to take him so far right off the bat like that?) Blaine stretched out on his bed working it inside himself. (Would it even fit? God, just two fingers felt huge to Kurt; something the size of his dick seemed impossible and this was much bigger.) The moans and gasps and grunts he would make as it made its way in and out of his body. The fact that Blaine wanted this, wanted to be on the receiving end, so to speak, which they’d never really talked about before but completely aligned with Kurt’s own fantasies. Except it was so big. It had to be twice as big as he was when he was hard, although it was totally possible he wasn’t the best judge of that at the moment because he was holding a dildo – a dildo that belonged to Blaine – and he couldn’t even imagine how something that big could fit in anyone’s ass.

“It wasn’t easy but I got it eventually.”

“What?!”

He looked up in alarm. Blaine pushed backwards through the door and settled a tray laden with tiny sandwiches, a teapot and two china cups on his dresser. “I know how you like the cucumber slices to overlap in that little pattern. I think I finally figured out how you do it.”

And then he was turning with his bright smile and there was no way to sneak the dildo back into the drawer, nowhere to hide it at all on the perfectly made bed, and all Kurt could do was blush scarlet and look equal parts guilty and surprised.

“Tea and sandwiches in true British … what are you doing with that?”

Kurt dropped the dildo onto the bed like it had gone red hot. “I’m sorry! I was just looking for a tissue and … oh God, it was just there and I . . . I couldn’t stop thinking … and then I was touching …” The babbling was just making it worse. He lapsed into silence.

It helped a little that Blaine was blushing bright red as well, now. He came and sat gingerly on the bed next to Kurt, both of them staring straight ahead, the blue dildo between them like a screaming neon elephant. Neither of them touched it.

“It’s so …”

“I only . . .”

They looked at each other then, their nervous laughter breaking the tension a little. Kurt gestured at Blaine to go first.

“It was a gift. Like a joke from Trent and some of the other guys after I came out to them. It was really sweet, actually.”

“Sweet?” Kurt raised a skeptical eyebrow.

“Well, yeah. Like they were showing me that it didn’t matter. That they could joke with me about being gay just like they did about my hair or the faces I make when I sing. It wasn’t a big off-limits thing, you know?”

Kurt nodded and let out a slow, relieved breath. “So you haven’t actually … used it.”

Blaine was silent.

“Blaine …”

Blaine gave him a pleading look and the blush was back even brighter than before. “Well, once I had it I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I mean, I wasn’t doing anything with anyone and I wanted to know what I was doing when I did have someone, and it was right there …”

Kurt closed his eyes for a moment, hovering in this weird space halfway between turned on and mortified. It wasn’t really the fact of the dildo so much, it was just that the damned thing was so big. “Tell me,” he said finally.

Blaine reached out to pick up the neon monstrosity. “Well, at first I’d just touch it, you know. Imagine what it would be like to actually touch another person like that.” His fingers toyed with it absently as he talked, smoothing over the head in what were obviously well-practiced movements. Movements Kurt had felt on his own dick. “Then eventually I tried sucking it.” His voice got quieter and his fingers wrapped around the shaft. Kurt couldn’t help noticing that the gap between Blaine’s fingers and thumb was much wider than it ever was when Blaine held him that way. “It’s kind of too big for that, though. And it tastes funny,”

“So have you ever …”

Blaine nodded, looking down at the dildo in his hands again. “Yeah. I’ve tried. I can’t get it in very far, and it kind of hurts some …”

The thought of it being uncomfortable for Blaine was at least making Kurt feel a little less inadequate, but then Blaine looked back up at him, open and trusting, as if he’d made a decision to be completely honest now.

“But it’s amazing, Kurt. Feeling stretched like that. Pushing myself to take more. It turns me on so much. I think about you using it on me and I come so hard.” Somehow Blaine must have misinterpreted Kurt’s look of astonishment as arousal because he reached over and ran his palm over Kurt’s crotch, where there was absolutely no arousal happening whatsoever. Blaine’s face fell. “But it doesn’t turn you on. Oh God, you think it’s weird, don’t you? It is weird. I know it is.”

Kurt took the dildo from Blaine’s hand and set it on the bed behind them. “It’s not. It’s normal, Blaine, that’s why they make those things.”

“But you don’t like the idea, do you?”

“I just … it’s a lot bigger than I am, you know?”

Blaine gave him a gentle smile but he still looked uncertain. “I know how big you are. They’re supposed to be bigger, aren’t they? Isn’t that the point?”

Kurt really was the worst boyfriend ever. Blaine had confided a fantasy to him and he was completely crapping on it with all of his insecurity. “It’s fine, Blaine. It’s hot and totally normal and not weird at all.”

“So why do you look like you’re about to cry?”

Kurt thought about lying, just saying he’d never seen a dildo before and it had kind of shocked him, but he and Blaine were always completely honest. “Well, if you get used to something like that – if that’s what you want – then when we eventually … and I’m nowhere near that big … and God I’m ruining this for you so I’m just going to shut up and find a hole to crawl into now.”

Blaine’s mouth fell open. “You think –“ He picked the dildo up again and waved it in front of Kurt’s face. “Okay first of all, this is a piece of plastic. Or silicone or whatever. It’s cold and it doesn’t move and grow and respond, and most importantly it doesn’t have to keep moving inside me until it comes which, honestly, might kill me if it did. It’s a toy, Kurt. Your dick doesn’t vibrate either but that doesn’t mean a vibrator could ever take your place.”

“Really?”

Blaine put the toy back down and took his hand, twining their fingers and holding tight. “I can barely get the tip in, anyhow. And do you want to know what I think about when I use it?”

“You already told me you think about me using it on you.”

“But I didn’t give you details.” Blaine was blushing again, so whatever he’d been holding back must be either very embarrassing or very juicy. Or both. He stroked his thumb lightly over Kurt’s. “I think about your voice – how it sounds when you tell me I’m beautiful.” He tilted his head back and trailed the fingers of his free hand down the skin of his throat. “I think about how it feels when you kiss me right here, I touch myself there and pretend it’s your lips teasing me.” His hand trailed down his shirt and brushed over where Kurt could see his nipple, erect and poking through the fabric of his shirt. “I think about your tongue on my nipples, that sort of flicking thing you do, it makes me crazy Kurt. It’s so good. What dildo can do that?” His eyes burned into Kurt’s, presenting his fantasy like an offering and begging Kurt to accept it.

Still holding Kurt’s hand, Blaine scooted himself backward on the bed, shoving the dildo out of the way and stretching out on his back. Kurt let himself be pulled down as well and settled on his side, propped up on his elbow so he could watch Blaine. He could see Blaine’s erection pushing against the fabric of his pants. And despite himself Kurt was getting turned on as well. Blaine’s eyes dropped closed as he continued, and his roving hand moved lower, stroking himself lightly through his pants.

“While I stretch myself sometimes I talk to you, in my head. I tell you it’s too big, I don’t think I can take it, and you say of course I can, that I’m so, so perfect and you know I can do anything for you.” Blaine’s voice was getting softer and huskier and Kurt was definitely hard now, the picture Blaine made touching himself like that was too much to resist. He pushed Blaine’s hand out of the way and stroked over the hard length himself, light and teasing.

Blaine breathed a sigh that rumbled into a moan and twisted both hands into the fabric of his comforter. “And then, when I start to put it in, it’s you doing it and sometimes I beg you – ‘No more, it’s too much, please’ – but you keep going, you tell me I have to take it, for you, that it turns you on so much to see me struggle with it, that I belong to you and if I want to come I’ll take what you tell me to take …”

Blaine stopped and his eyes flew open, staring at Kurt with more than a little alarm, as if he hadn’t quite meant to let the fantasy go so far, but Kurt had left freaked out far behind him. He’d had no idea Blaine thought this way, but it was so, so hot and he was so hard it hurt. He needed contact now. He rolled abruptly over on top of Blaine, taking his lips in a kiss that was almost bruising, pressing their cocks together desperately. Blaine wrapped his arms around Kurt and pulled him close, thrusting up hard against him.

“How could you think some stupid toy could ever take your place, Kurt?” Blaine said. “When we have sex that way, all I want inside me is you. Every single perfect hard inch of you.”

Kurt kissed him again, pushing aggressively into his mouth, grinding his cock against Blaine’s in long, powerful strokes that were guaranteed to take both of them over the edge quickly. But Blaine pulled back after a moment and panted against his lips.

“I want to blow you. Let me?”

Kurt answered him by rolling over onto his back, shoving the dildo onto the floor, and popping his jeans open with one swift movement. Blaine was on top of him in seconds, pulling his pants and underwear just low enough to free his cock before sinking his mouth down as far as he could. Kurt groaned at the sudden wet heat surrounding him. He could feel Blaine’s erection through both layers of pants, rubbing rhythmically against his leg as he sucked hard and fast.

“Oh, God, that’s so good, Blaine,” Kurt said as he pushed up just a tiny bit into Blaine’s mouth the way he knew Blaine liked. Fuck the dildo. If it had had any part in Blaine learning how to give head like this he’d personally send Trent a thank-you letter. Blaine’s tongue was magical, stroking and teasing all his most sensitive places, and driving him on the fast track to an amazing orgasm.

Then, because things that would sound ridiculous in the cold light of day somehow managed to sound completely different when you were about to come your brains out in someone’s mouth, Kurt said, “I’d do it, too. I’d make you take it.” Blaine’s own moans grew louder at that, and he thrust even faster against Kurt’s leg. “But I’d make it easy on myself. I’d tie you up, arms and legs, so you couldn’t get away. I’d tie you up and make you take whatever I want you to take. I’d make you beg me for mercy.”
Just saying it was so unexpectedly hot that he was almost there, and when Blaine groaned around him and shoved hard into Kurt’s leg one last time Kurt was right with him, thrusting up into the now-slack mouth and coming with his own loud cry.

Unfortunately, Blaine was too busy coming to think about swallowing, and Kurt was too busy coming to think about aiming, and with the help of gravity semen shot everywhere, landing on Blaine’s face, his neck, dripping back down onto Kurt’s body. Blaine’s eyes widened and they both stared at each other open-mouthed before bursting into laughter at the same moment.

“I think we killed two kinks with one stone, there,” Blaine said as he tried to wipe some of the come off his face with the hem of his shirt.

“I think we need a shower,” Kurt answered, but he pulled Blaine down on top of him anyhow and kissed him, not even thinking about the spattered come on his lips.

“Oooh,” Blaine said when they separated, “make that three kinks.”

Kurt smacked him on the ass for that.

“Four!”

Kurt rolled his eyes and pulled Blaine back in for another kiss, then scattered little pecks on the come-free areas of his face. “You’re such an idiot,” he said finally, pushing Blaine up so that they could go take that shower.

“But I’m your idiot,” Blaine grinned at him. “Your idiot with a super hot, sexy dildo. And I’m going to hold you to everything you said you were going to do with it.”

Kurt took his hand and tugged him off the bed. “Not everyone would put up with you, you know,” he teased. “You’re very lucky to have me.”

“I know I am. Every last perfect hard inch of you.”

He had to make a dash for the bathroom to avoid another smack on the ass.

Kurt lingered for just a moment, rescuing the blue dildo from the floor and settling it back in its drawer. He grabbed a finger sandwich from the tray and popped it into his mouth then hurried to join his idiot in the shower.