One-Shot
klairy-dust
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Should've Known Better

Kurt and Blaine agreed that it should just be sex;, no strings attached. But is it really possible to keep sex and feelings aside when you're spending most of your time naked with your co-captain?


E - Words: 24,422 - Last Updated: Apr 29, 2013
2,377 0 1 19
Categories: Angst, AU, Drama, General, PWP, Romance,
Characters: Blaine Anderson, Burt Hummel, Kurt Hummel,
Tags: OMG CREYS, hurt/comfort,

Author's Notes: (http://klairy-dust.tumblr.com/post/47274990080/au-coach-sylvester-finds-out-what-exactly-her) Based on this gif set. Thank you so much to the incredible (http://sarahhforreal.tumblr.com/) Sarah. She practically created the story, I only wrote what happened in her head. Based on this gif set.Thank you so much to the incredibleSarah. She practically created the story, I only wrote what happened in her head.

"My dad is still in Washington and Carole is going to some football thing with Finn out of town," Kurt whispered as he danced behind Blaine, hands firmly placed on the strong biceps, and a wide grin spreading on Blaine's face. Blaine knew exactly what that meant.

They both kept to their steps even though Blaine could feel that Kurt was purposely rubbing his crotch a little harder against his ass than he needed to. Not that Blaine had any objections. They had been doing this 'dance' for over a year now, so it wasn't like it was any distraction anymore.

The girls around them twirled and he felt Kurt twirl away as he himself twirled in another direction. With stomps and wide arm gestures they ended the routine as the music ended. They were heaving for breath, but Blaine was satisfied with his presentation. However, he was prepared to find that not everyone was. There was always one who wasn't.

"What the hell was that? It was like watching elephant toddlers trying to do ballet. My eyes are bleeding!" Coach Sylvester screamed through her megaphone. She threw a chair across the gymnasium, making a few of the freshman girls wince. The new ones were always the most delicate ones.

"And you two, Glitter and Glam," she snapped as she walked towards the group in red, pointing at Kurt and Blaine with an index finger that was ready to kill.

"I just got a text from David Hasselhoff saying he can smell your sexual tension from his summer residence in Germany and he finds it disgusting!"

She waved her hand to let the group of cheerleaders know they were dismissed for the showers. The group split up and everyone picked up their bags before heading for the door.

Santana came over to Blaine, complaining that the girl she had danced with smelled like bleach, but Blaine wasn't listening; he was busy watching the way Kurt was swaying his ass on his way out of the gymnasium.

They weren't dating. Being co-captains of the Cheerios, being in glee club, keeping up with school, friends and family there wasn't time for dating. No, it was just sex.

Olympic sex.

It had all started after their first Cheerios victory party where everyone were drunk. They made out heavily in a sophomore's bathroom, and after that they started sexting. After that there was no way out. It only lasted a week before they were lying in the backseat of Kurt's car, their red pants on the floor with lube and sweat smeared all over their bodies.

After that it had been a steady stream of regular fucking whenever they could see a chance to it. They didn't talk much outside of that. They discussed Cheerios and glee club business, but besides that there wasn't much contact. There was no reason to.

"You've really trained those hips, Anderson -" Kurt smirked.

They were in the locker room, emptying what they needed from their lockers before the weekend. Blaine didn't look at him. He kept his gaze in his locker, fumbling around with deodorant cans and gel jars. If anyone knew about how Blaine trained his hip-moves it would be Kurt.

"It's nothing like you've been working your flexibility lately, Hummel -" Blaine retorted, holding in a chuckle as he pushed the last items into his bag before he smacked his locker.

He turned around to face the guys in the locker room, sent Kurt a glance that meant "See you later" and he left the room, doing his best to keep up his pokerface.

xXx

"You were here fast today," Kurt panted as he was working on the strings on Blaine's pants. Their shirts were already lying on the floor of Kurt's bedroom. They had been off already on the way up the stairs. There wasn't reason to waste time.

"I don't have as much junk in my locker as you do," Blaine grinned and pulled down Kurt's underwear with his pants. With a sharp eyebrow raised Kurt dove in for a forceful kiss, his tongue heading directly for Blaine's mouth. His hands went directly into the hair on the back of Blaine's head as he walked forwards, making Blaine fall to his back on the bed.

"At least I don't have as much junk as you have in your hair."

Kurt stood towering over him for moment while Blaine had his pants pushed to his knees before Kurt bent down to pull them all the way to his ankles so Blaine could kick them off. After that Kurt was immediately on his knees, crawling onto the bed.

"Hey. I thought you owed me something!" Blaine groaned when Kurt was on his knees next to Blaine's face.

"Well, I changed my mind," Kurt snapped and laid down on his side. He didn't have to tell Blaine what his plan was. Blaine hurried to his side as Kurt situated himself.

No talk, just right to business. As always.

Kurt's tongue was licking straight up his sac, and Blaine almost let his head fall back to the pillow to just relax and enjoy – but he knew it would only make it worse for himself later, so he licked his lips good and took Kurt's head in his mouth.

At the directness Kurt huffed out a mouthful of air, but returned the favor by swirling his tongue around Blaine's shaft before moving up to take him in as well. From there it didn't take long for both of them to be bopping their heads up and down, lips locked around hard cocks with elbows digging deep into the mattress.

Blaine grinned and sucked, expecting the nudge that followed from Kurt's knee. He knew that Kurt loved it when he did that, but he also knew that Kurt hated it because it could push him over the edge before they had even really started. It was remarkable how much he had gotten to know Kurt just from having sex a few times a week over the past year.

In return Kurt dug his nails into Blaine's thigh and let the tip of his tongue dance wildly over the tip of his dick. Blaine went completely cross-eyed and had to take a second to get back before he let his hand between Kurt's legs.

Kurt got the notion and lifted his leg to allow Blaine space to run his index finger up his crack, teasing and playing before running circles around his hole. As he let his teeth lightly grab at Kurt's frenulum he pushed his finger into Kurt's ass and Kurt's lips popped off his cock.

"Fuck!" He rasped, and Blaine felt his cock smear over Kurt's cheek.

Blaine continued to run his finger in circles inside of Kurt, mostly just wanting to stretch him out. It was hard concentrating on both things at the same time, but he didn't give up. Spit was sliding down his chin as he let his tongue twirl around Kurt's head, dancing over the wet bulb.

It didn't last long before he could press a second finger in, right as Kurt returned to sucking on his head. Having sex so often made a lot of things easier, including prepping.

So Blaine pumped his fingers in and out, scissored and crook his fingers best possible. The actions had him sweating like he had just been over a tough routine and he couldn't stop his hips from bucking forwards, fucking into Kurt's mouth.

Kurt started coughing and grabbed around his hip.

"If you can't keep still you have to suck your own dick!" He snarled with his nails scratching down Blaine's thigh.

"Holy shit," Kurt moaned as Blaine hit just right with his crooking fingers.

Kurt buried his face in the bedspread and groaned loudly as Blaine sucked and pushed three fingers in as deep as he could, his knuckles digging into the flesh of Kurt's pale cheeks.

"Jesus, Blaine, just fuck me!" He demanded through a hoarse voice, his fingers fumbling down Blaine's thigh, his fingernails getting caught in the hairs and his palms sliding over the sweaty skin.

With one last trace of his tongue up Kurt's shaft Blaine locked his lips hard around Kurt's head, sucked with all his might (causing Kurt's panting to go through the roof) – and slipped off Kurt's dick, his chin and cheeks soaked in sweat and saliva.

"Fuck – you!" Kurt groaned as he fell to his back on the bed, and Blaine fought to sit on his knees.

"I thought I was supposed to fuck you," Blaine grinned and reached out for the nightstand. By now he knew exactly where Kurt kept the condoms, and they had the rule that the house they hooked up at was the person to make sure they had their stash full.

"Shut up and get that thing on," Kurt gruffed as he moved to rest on his elbows, biting his lower lip as he watched Blaine tear open the silver wrapper and roll on the latex pocket.

Kurt spread his legs, letting his one foot curl around Blaine's hip to drag him closer before he shot a grin and turned on his front. He planted his knees and elbows solidly in the mattress and turned his head to have a look at Blaine over his shoulder.

"What you waiting for?" He smiled and wiggled his ass.

"You perv," Blaine mumbled and took a firm grip on Kurt's one asscheek and locked his other around the root of his cock.

He let his thumb travel up and down Kurt's crack for a moment, coaxing a little moan from Kurt in front of him, before he started pushing in. Nothing in the world compared to the feeling of slowly sliding into Kurt's tight heat. The feeling made them both sigh weakly, and Kurt pushed lightly back, eager to get Blaine as deep as possible.

With careful movements Blaine pulled back out to the head before he pushed back in to the root. He licked his lips and figured Kurt could take it, so he casually started thrusting in and out, feeling his nipples stiffen with the sensation.

He let a hand run up from Kurt's ass up his back to press between his shoulder blades, fingers running into Kurt's sweaty hair that had completely left his sharp hair-do. He watched as Kurt curled his fingers into the bedspread and could feel Kurt's feet curl into the tendons of Blaine's knees. He loved it when Kurt did that; it meant that he was ready to take it harder.

Which was exactly what he got. Blaine sped up, allowing his fingers to run a little deeper into Kurt's soft hair, and watched as Kurt let Blaine fuck him upwards on the bed. The well-known feeling of turmoil in his lower belly started growling as he leaned down to drape himself over Kurt's back.

"More... fuck," Kurt begged, as he clasped his cheek against the bed.

The springs of Kurt's bed was complaining under their weight, not going any better from Kurt spreading his knees further, letting Blaine pound even deeper into him. Blaine let his fingers drag down Kurt's triceps to support on the bedspread.

His thighs were slowly starting to complain after intense Cheerios practice, dance rehearsals for glee club and six times sex over the week. He slowed down to rest his abs and let his hips do the work and his knees take the weight, causing him to push slower, but oh-so-much harder.

"God, yes. Right there! Just like – fuck – that!" Kurt groaned in satisfaction as Blaine found his magic spot.

"Good enough for ya?" Blaine grunted into his ear, feeling a little creepy, but if he didn't just love hearing Kurt praise him when they were fucking.

"Holy... if you stop now – kill you!" Kurt warned and arched his back, pushing his ass higher in the air.

With a grin Blaine angled his hips to thrust in as hard as he could, feeling in Kurt's shoulder blades that he was rising to let his hand down to grab himself.

"So – shit – close," Kurt groaned against his arm.

"Let it go.. Just get there," Blaine gasped, a little more affectionate than planned, but who the hell was he to keep his head calm when he was getting there himself?

His skin started tightening over his muscles and he could feel his nerves quiver. He rested his forehead against Kurt's back and sped up, pounding as hard and fast as he could muster, drilling deep into Kurt as he felt Kurt's hole squeeze around his cock.

Mixed with the scream fading into a sore moan from Kurt as he shaky came over the bedspread made Blaine's eyes roll back in his skull. His hips started thrusting erratically against Kurt's ass and he was gone, spilling deep and heavy into Kurt, in warm spurts of white to a soundtrack of his own "yessss, fuck!" followed by a rumbling groan.

Heavy panting was filling the room as Blaine tried to shake his head to regain control, but nothing happened. His arms betrayed him and he knew that it was time, so he grabbed the root of his softening dick to pull out of Kurt's ass, and allowed himself to fall to the bed next to Kurt.

Neither of them said a word. They took their time to get back to normal breathing. Easier said than done with the pounding pulse and throbbing temples Blaine was currently feeling like a heavenly hangover in his afterglow.

"Good one, Anderson. I may not be able to sit for the rest of the weekend," Kurt rasped out as he turned his head. His eyes were closed and Blaine couldn't stop himself from smiling at how worn out and sated he looked.

"Nice. No regrets," Blaine heaved out and wiped the back of his hand over his forehead to get rid of the worst portion of sweat.

"You gotta go. I need to do some homework or it won't get done," Kurt mumbled and opened his eyes before rolling to lie on his back, staring into the ceiling over them.

"Right. Got it," Blaine accepted and forced himself to sit up so he could get the condom off and tie it up.

He rolled off the bed and staggered to Kurt's bathroom where he let the condom into the trash and washed his hands and face. He grinned at himself in the mirror and fixed his hair before he returned to Kurt's room.

Kurt was still lying on the bed, looking like he was about to fall asleep. Blaine bent down and started pulling on his underwear, followed by his Cheerios uniform. He made sure the red pants were perfectly placed around his ass and grabbed for his keys on the desk by the window.

"See ya at practice tomorrow," Blaine mumbled as he opened the door to Kurt's room.

"Yeah. Next time we'll be at your place. Can't afford to constantly buy condoms," Kurt groaned, still eyes closed, and lifted an arm in goodbye.

Blaine smiled to himself and left the room so he could go home.

xXx

Kurt didn't do his homework. The moment he heard the click from Blaine closing the door after him he listened to the footsteps slowly disappearing down the stairs followed by the smack of a car door and the sound of Blaine's car fading out down the street.

That's when Kurt kicked the soiled bedspread to the floor and curled up under the blanket he had pushed to the floor when he and Blaine entered his room earlier that day.

This was the worst part of what he had going with Blaine. When they were done and Blaine had left, or he had left Blaine's house, or wherever they were.

As much as he loved the sex, and how independent it was that they had agreed that this was just fooling around and no strings – Kurt felt empty. Always. It never failed. Every time.

First thing he had said to Blaine when he realized this had started to be a regular thing was:

"Don't even count on this getting serious. Don't even think of calling me if you need someone to be cute with. We have sex; that is all."

To his relief Blaine had agreed and was pretty cool about the deal. So that was the way it was. And neither of them had ever tried overstepping that line. They didn't even do real foreplay, except heavy make-out leading up to their sex, but never in public.

The thing was that lately, over the past few months, Kurt had wished that he didn't have to tell Blaine to get out as soon as they were done. When he pushed his bedspread down and pulled his blanket over him to curl up he thought about how it would be if Blaine had still been there. If Blaine was lying next to him, and they could maybe talk and laugh about something lame that happened in school, or maybe just fall asleep and be exhausted together.

It was a long time ago Kurt had promised himself that he wasn't going to ever get attached to anyone again. He had a boyfriend who turned out to be a cheating asshole, and he was never going down that path again. That was why it had been so easy with Blaine, because Blaine wasn't out for dating either. They both just really loved sex, and sex together was great since they could keep up with each other's stamina and adventurism in sex.

But Kurt hadn't been prepared for how he was feeling now. The feeling of longing and loneliness that had started to overwhelm him when he had said goodbye to Blaine.

More than once he had actually considered stopping things with Blaine. The days where he felt the worst. That was usually on days where the house would be empty for hours and he couldn't just take a shower and go downstairs to hang out with his dad or Carole.

The days where Kurt was completely alone.

Other times he had considered just texting Blaine if he couldn't come back. But that was definitely not an option. He couldn't get involved with that. If he first let Blaine stay after sex it was way too easy to get in much deeper than he wanted and he would not allow himself to do that to himself. Not again.

No. It was much better things stayed the way they were. It was nice to make out and let Blaine touch him when they were having sex, but he didn't need anymore than that. Not that he had time anyway.

So Kurt pulled the blanket up to his chin and took a deep breath. He closed his eyes and hoped that he could sleep the feeling away. That was the best way to get rid of it, anyway.

xXx

For a long time it had been routine for Blaine that the first thing he did when he came home was to head directly for the shower. Either he smelled like Cheerios practice or he smelled like sex. Lately it was more often than not that he smelled of both when he came home.

And Kurt.

He had realized that the smell of Kurt was clinging to his clothes and his skin. He could be in the shower, or even when he was done showering and sitting in the kitchen talking to his mom while doing his homework or listening to her stories of work and he would notice the smell of Kurt's skin and hair creep into his nostrils.

Right now he had just finished his homework for the night and was lying on the couch watching some lame movie while texting with his best friend, Sam. Apparently he was planning a Die Hard-marathon with some of their other friends and was trying to explain to Blaine that it was extremely important that he came over straight after Cheerios practice the next day.

It wasn't that Blaine didn't like Die Hard. Anyone with a sense of action movies adored Bruce Willis. And he was pretty sexy when he ran around shooting Nazis in a sweaty, dirty tank top while swearing in a way that made Puck wince.

The thing was that if Kurt was up for anything after practice the next day Blaine would much rather do that. He would hate to have to turn an offer from Kurt down. But maybe he could just say that he would come, but just lie and say practice went late if Kurt wanted hook up.

He sighed deeply and texted Sam that he would come over if practice didn't go too hard on him. That should settle it. That way he was covered either way.

In honestly he was actually pretty exhausted. It had been a tough week, preparing for competitions with both Cheerios and glee club was hard. Keeping up a social life, boxing lessons and keeping his voice in training, next to his heated sex with Kurt didn't exactly allow him a lot of time to relax – but for some reason he just never managed to resist whenever Kurt whispered in his ear that he was hard for him, or batted his eyelashes through the gymnasium, or sent him texts to ask him if he "needed help with something".

Yeah, Kurt definitely had a way of making him drop everything he had and come jumping whenever and wherever.

At least I am aware, unlike so many of the other jerks in school who denies their girlfriends' grip on their balls, Blaine always told himself.

But the point was that Kurt wasn't his boyfriend, and he wouldn't be. Which gave him an advantage. Blaine got all the sex and didn't have to deal with the consequences and commitment after. It was fun, and he never had to go horny for more than 24 hours.

However, sometimes he wished that he didn't have to always watch movies alone or with his mom or friends. And it would be nice to be able to fall asleep with arms around him rather than holding around his pillow. It would be nice to have other kisses than heated, needy ones while a hand was down his underwear.

Seeing his friends with their girlfriends or boyfriends definitely made him wish, sometimes, that he could have that with someone. The cuteness of couples in the halls, and the cheers from significant others after a solo did have a tendency to make him feel a little lonely.

But things were the way they were, and Kurt was the only other gay guy he knew – and things with him and Kurt would never get serious, so there was no reason to waste energy on that.

xXx

Coach Sylvester was having a bad day. A really bad day. She had been howling slurs at them for hours, and now Blaine was down doing push-ups for the third time that day. This time because he had helped a girl who got a nosebleed after getting hit in the face by a ball.

"Looking good down there, Anderson," Kurt snickered as he walked past Blaine on the floor.

"Quit staring at my ass," Blaine grunted, not sparing him a glance.

Kurt crouched down next to him, leaning down to let his mouth be close enough to Blaine's ear that no one but them would hear his words.

"I thought you loved it when I pay attention to your ass. That's what it sounded like when I fucked you a few days ago," Kurt whispered and Blaine instinctively knew that he was smiling.

Blaine's arms bucked under his weight and he fell to his chest on the polished wood. He was heaving for breath and his muscles were killing him; maybe it would really just be for the best to take the evening off to hang with the guys.

"I'll be naked in the showers in 10. Meet me there. Bring your big dick and tight ass," Kurt smirked and licked a stripe up the shell of Blaine's ear before he stood up and walked out of the gymnasium after the flock of girls chatting about parties and boyfriends.

"Get up, Tiny Tim, or I'll have you clean the gymnasium with your own toothbrush," Coach Sylvester snarled as she walked by him.

Blaine was trying to get his legs to react after been driven intensely nonstop all day. He often figured he should get a medal for not talking back at their coach when she came with her cruel remarks, but he enjoyed being the captain of the squad too much to risk anything. Instead he focused on the promise of the gift waiting for him in the showers and stumbled to his feet.

"Bring a condom or I'm gonna finish myself," Kurt yelled through the locker room when the door closed behind Blaine.

One of the good things about being the only two guys at the cheerleading squad was that they had the locker room to themselves after weekend practice. Which allowed them to spend a little more time there than they usually would.

Blaine didn't waste any time but was immediately by his locker to get rid off his clothes, find out a condom and grab a towel before he headed for the showers where he could hear the water splashing, mixing with the silent grunts he could only recognize as Kurt jacking himself off.

"Started without me – I'm disappointed," Blaine commented in a feigned hurt tone as he pushed Kurt a little away from the stream of water to make room.

"Your own fault. Could've... gotten here – faster," Kurt huffed out, his hand working lazily over his hard cock.

"Looks like you're doing pretty good without me," Blaine remarked as he started pumping his semi-hard dick, not doubting that it would only take a second before he was ready.

"Just turn around, you jackass -" Kurt chuckled.

He released his erection and grabbed around Blaine's upper arms. With a sultry look he had Blaine turned around and pushed against the sidewall, making his chest clasp against the icy tiles. Blaine supported on his hands and spread his legs wide. Yes, he was definitely hard as a rock now.

"Then gimme that cock, Hummel -"

One of Kurt's hands slid down Blaine's ribs, over his hip and down to take a firm grasp of his ass. He squeezed the handful of flesh, kneading his fingers and knuckles into the tan skin, before he started running all five fingers up and down Blaine's crack.

Blaine could feel his dick twitch from Kurt's fingertips playing over his hole, but he knew that it wouldn't last long. They may be the only guys in the locker room, but they still had to be fast to not be surprised by the cleaning crew or a teacher coming around to lock up.

As predicted Kurt shoved two fingers inside him, directly curling up and twisting around. Blaine's stiff nipples rubbed over the slick tiles and his hands balled up from the friction. Kurt was a damn wizard with his fingers and he had a magnetic-field to find Blaine's prostate.

"Feels like you've kept open for me," Kurt snickered as he pressed his body against Blaine's back, his dick sliding over his ass.

"You started to fuck other guys than me?" He asked and Blaine didn't know if it was just a rhetorical slur meant to slut him out, but for some reason it made his insides coil up in an uncomfortable fashion. He didn't want Kurt to think he was fucking others on the side.

"No. Your dick just has that effect on me," he puffed out, shooting Kurt a glance over his shoulder, seeing something flicker in Kurt's eyes as he drove three fingers deep into Blaine's ass. Probably the satisfaction of being told his dick was big.

"Alright... not that I care -" Kurt retorted and twisted his wrist good before pulling his fingers out.

Blaine rested his forehead against the wall. He listened to Kurt tearing the wrapper open and spit the foil out when he had what he needed. The moment he felt Kurt's hand on his hip Blaine arched his back a little, giving better workspace for Kurt, and immediately felt Kurt's head line up with his entrance.

Unlike Blaine Kurt didn't take time to see if everything went as it should. He knew Blaine would speak up if he was uncomfortable, and if he was uncomfortable himself he would just stop. No, Kurt would just drive directly in and go straight to business.

As soon as he was buried as deep in Blaine's ass as the angle allowed Kurt slipped his hands around Blaine's waist and started snapping his hips hard and fast. It always took a little time for Blaine to get used to the size of Kurt in him. Kurt was definitely bigger than his fingers, but he had no complaints, and the feeling of getting used to the stretch was one of Blaine's favorite parts of bottoming. Today was no exceptions.

"Holy shit -" He burst out as Kurt started moving. He turned his head and let his temple slide against the blue wall to not constantly crash his forehead against the tiles with Kurt's movements.

"Harder. Dammit – harder," he begged and scratched his nails down the blue, squeezing his eyes shut with the feeling of Kurt hitting just right.

"You really love my cock, don't you?" Kurt chuckled into his ear, breathless and dark voice.

"Yes. Come on. Come on –more!" Blaine ordered, pressing his ass harder against Kurt's hips.

Kurt's nails were like claws as he clung to Blaine's midsection. He lifted his left leg, sliding over Blaine's thigh, to rest his knee against the wall for a better thrust. He let his right hand support against the wall, and his left hand fingers scrambled around Blaine's chest for a moment before settled and found a slow and hard rhythm of his hips. Then he made down to grab Blaine's shaft and slowly started swiping.

"Yes. God yes. Shityes!"

He didn't mean to be so loud. He just couldn't stop it. When he was a virgin he was sure he would be a big, growling man in bed, only giving deep, masculine sounds – but then he let Kurt take his virginity and he found out that it wasn't such at all.

It was always the same. When he was on his hands and knees, or clasped against the wall or bent over a table with Kurt ramming hard into him he started out low and deep, but ended up hifgh pitched and screaming from the stars Kurt's dick spread throughout his body.

"So loud. Don't stop..." Kurt groaned, and sped his hand and his hips up.

Yeah, that was definitely a good thing about him being so uncontrollably loud; Kurt fucking loved it. It boosted his ego and made his moves even better.

Kurt twisted his wrist, closed his hand a little tighter and found a pace that was sure to work like a charm. He grabbed Blaine's earlobe between his teeth and moaned sorely into his ear, that sound that sounded like sex liquified and shot directly into Blaine's veins.

"So good. Fuck... so tight," Kurt whined and pounded directly at Blaine's prostate, making Blaine lose it.

"Oh yes. Don't stop. More. There –more!" He wailed, trying to cover his sounds up by biting down on his arm, but his voice was still echoing off the walls, mixed with the sound of Kurt's skin clasping rhythmically against his own.

"Shit. Shit. Shit!" Kurt grunted as Blaine shot ropes of burning hot semen out to paint Kurt's hand and the wall. His brain was twirling and his muscles were flexing up, making his ass hold Kurt snug and tight inside him.

"Don't die on me. No," Kurt begged as he thrust his last few pounds in before his own hips let go and Blaine could feel that he was lost over the edge, spilling everything he had, with his fingers releasing Blaine's cock and nails clawing into his stomach instead.

Kurt's cheek clasped against Blaine's shoulder and his fingers slowly released his stomach, so Blaine allowed his muscles to ease up. He put his palms flat on the wall and carefully pushed himself away to stand on his legs, admittedly a little nervous that his knees wouldn't quite agree with that since they felt like jello at the moment.

Kurt was back on his feet as well. He turned his back on Blaine and started washing up, so Blaine followed his example. They cleaned up in silence and staggered to their lockers when they were done. Without exchanging a word they dried their hair and got dressed.

"Later," Blaine shrugged as he walked to the door. He had to stop himself from asking Kurt to join him to hang out with the guys, but he knew that Kurt wouldn't care about watching Die Hard with a bunch of straight guys. Besides, he wouldn't want him to think he was asking him on a public date.

"Yeah. Save those vocal chords, Screamo," Kurt said dryly without turning around, so Blaine left the locker room without more to say.

But didn't he actually have much more to say?

xXx

When Blaine left the locker room the tightening feeling was back in Kurt's stomach. It was coiling up and making him feel sick. He could still sense the way Blaine had tightened up around him, and recall the sound of how Blaine had moaned in pleasure. It hit him that Blaine had never said his name during sex. He hadn't said Blaine's name either. It was like they had planned it, agreed that it would make it to personal and tear down that wall they had built up to separate sex and feelings.

Kurt felt like he was about to throw up.

He pulled his t-shirt on and dragged his Cheerios cardigan over before he picked up his satchel and closed his locker. With heavy steps he went for the door, ready to go home and put on a movie or curl up in the corner of the couch, pretending to read a magazine while his dad and Finn watched football. He could easily cancel his musical night date with the girls. He didn't really feel like it.

The halls of McKinley High were dark and deserted when Kurt found his way towards the exit. He only made it to pull out his phone to text Mercedes when he almost dropped it from the big shock that overwhelmed him.

"You! Twinkle-toe! My office! NOW!"

Coach Sylvester had shown up behind him, pointing her finger at him with an expression like angry bull covering her entire body.

Kurt stopped dead and caught control of his heartbeat before he drew a heavy sigh and rolled his eyes. He put his phone back in his pocket and went back down the hall where Coach Sylvester was waiting for him. He followed her into her office where she pointed at the chair in front of her desk before she sat down herself. Kurt put his bag on the floor and took seat.

"Listen up, Translucent Gay. I don't care who you sleep with, and more importantly: I don't want to know," Coach Sylvester opened.

Kurt felt his heart sink. He went completely pale. This was not what he had expected. He figured she just wanted to tell him that he hadn't been doing well in practice – because well, he hadn't. He was used to her criticism. This, on the other hand, made him want to curl up and hide.

"Especially when it's my two classy head gays who are supposed to represent the entire Cheerio squad."

Kurt tried to breathe through his nose, swallowing the lump that was growing in his throat and avoid panicking. Tried to push away the thought of how Blaine's hair gel smelled, how Blaine's skin felt, how Blaine sounded when he came.

"So next time you decide to spread your pink glitter semen, make sure there's nobody around to hear you hit the high F. Now, if you could deliver the message to Anderson without ripping off his XXXS kids-sized uniform off his strangely tiny body, that would be great," she declared dryly and picked up a magazine.

Kurt was shocked. His jaw dropped and his eyes popped. Sure he knew Blaine was loud; he loved that Blaine was loud. But he had no idea anyone would have heard them. They always made sure to be alone in the locker room to avoid a situation.

"Coach Sylvester, I am so sorry. We -" Kurt started, trying not to freak out.

"Don't bother, don't care," she said, not even raising her eyes from the pages.

"Who -"

"You will get your butt off that chair and leave. It's a miracle that you are even able to sit down after that round the leprechaun gave you out there."

That was it. Kurt fumbled for the strap of his satchel and got up. He backed away from the desk and turned around to leave the office and rush down the halls.

He had to call it off with Blaine. This wouldn't do. He couldn't lose his captain-ship of the Cheerios. He had fought so hard to twist it out of Quinn and Santana's claws after they had treated him horribly for two years. He needed this on his NYADA application and he needed this to show that they couldn't bring him down anymore.

Shit.

xXx

Hanging out with the guys was great. It had been way too long since Blaine had let himself kick his feet up and have a little fun. So leaning back to watch movies and laugh with his friends was a very welcomed fresh blow of wind into his packed daily routine.

"Hey, Tina just texted me about this party. Apparently all football players and Cheerios are there. She's asking us to come over," Mike said as Sam was about to switch movies. Blaine did know that a couple of the girls were going to get a little drunk at one of the seniors' place and he had already been invited, but he had said no a week ago.

"Guess we could stop by. Drink all their booze, eat all their snacks, and then ditch again. Who's with me?" Puck asked and shot a grin around the group.

"I don't really know," Blaine said a little insecurely and shifted in his seat.

"Come on, Anderson – I hear this chick who's having the party's got a gay cousin. It's time for you to get some," Puck declared and padded his back a little harder than Blaine had been prepared for.

"We can always leave if the party is boring," Mike shrugged.

It seemed like it was three against one, so Blaine sighed and grabbed his jacket. He could just sneak out if he wouldn't bother being there for too long. He knew that as soon as the guys stepped foot in the place they probably wouldn't leave until they had been there for a few hours. Alcohol and girls were the two ways to always keep them distracted.

So they all headed down the street and out to find the party. Not that it was hard to find. The music could be heard down the block and there were people in the front yard dancing and laughing.

All the Cheerios were there, and it seemed like all the football players were as well. A few of the glee club members were there too, but to Blaine's horror he found that the only person Blaine was looking for in the drugged up faces was Kurt.

After a trip around the house, saying hi to everyone and being forced to get a drink Blaine still didn't see him and realized that he was disappointed. He didn't know what he had expected, or why he even found it important for Kurt to be there – it wasn't like he was horny after their trip to the locker room earlier that day – but he decided to drown his disappointment in beer.

He teamed up with Tina and Brittany on the dance floor. It was always fun to see the expressions from the other guys when he could dance close with the girls without being slapped and branded as a perv. He was just having fun and the girls were too.

He only had two beers. He couldn't feel the alcohol yet, but he pretended. That way he could blend in with the crowd and push his thoughts of Kurt aside. Yet, somehow Kurt still managed to find a way of sneaking into his mind. Thought of his lips and smile, thoughts of his hands on Blaine's body – thoughts of Kurt's laughter when he didn't think about his attitude.

"I'm surprised you have any voice left after you apparently had the tunes rammed out of you in the locker room earlier today."

Santana had showed up, putting an arm around Brittany, and making everyone stare at Blaine with her mean comments. He hadn't seen her coming. He had been way too busy laughing with Tina and Britt about their dancing.

"Shut up, Santana," he whispered, hoping not too many were paying attention.

"Oh no. If anyone should shut up it should be you. Seriously, we could hear you all the way out in the hall. Either Kurt has a pretty big D that you are a slut for, or you are the best faker I have ever met. And I invented that game," Santana laughed, making everyone around him giggle.

"What are you even -" Blaine started to say, but out of nowhere Kurt was there.

"Santana, mind your own business. 's not like you're exactly sporting a halo yourself," he snapped.

"Blaine – I need to talk to you," Kurt groaned and turned on his heel, no doubt that he was expecting Blaine to follow. Everything had happened so fast that Blaine almost hadn't caught what was going on, but after shaking himself out of the shock he sent the girls a confused glance and hurried to follow Kurt to the hall.

They walked in a door bearing a sign saying "OFF LIMITS" and Kurt smacked it closed behind them. It was a small study with a desk, filled bookcases and a little couch. Clearly where someone went to get rid of the family and get some alone time.

"What?" Blaine asked, a little more harsh than he had planned.

"This thing with us has to... stop," Kurt said, swaying a little on the spot, but clearly trying to seem like he was in charge and completely on top of the situation.

Yet, that was still a slap to the face. He didn't want his thing with Kurt to stop. He liked his thing with Kurt. It was one of the best things he had going at the moment. If he didn't have his thing with Kurt... he wouldn't have anything with Kurt. Only captain-meetings to discuss routines and sitting in different ends of the choir room during glee club. That just wasn't enough. Without his thing with Kurt he didn't even think Kurt would so much as spare him a glance in the halls.

"What? I mean..." Blaine started to stammer out, not prepared for how weak his voice was.

"Coach Sylvester found out. Told me to let you know. She... Doesn't matter. It's over," Kurt said thickly and started to walk around Blaine.

"But... maybe we could just – not in school, then," Blaine tried suggesting, not really sure what the feelings tumbling around inside of him even was.

"No, Blaine! Would you just understand it – I don't want anymore with you!" Kurt suddenly shrilled at him. His voice was high pitched and his eyes were swimming. He was clearly very drunk and for some reason Blaine couldn't stop looking at the way his scarf was crooked around his neck.

"What is your problem? Don't start yelling at me. I didn't tell her anything!" Blaine retorted, raising his voice in frustration. Not sure if the frustration of Kurt talking to him like that, or the frustration of Kurt just having ended their thing was the worst.

It suddenly hit him that Kurt looked more tired than Blaine had ever seen him. His eyes were glassy and sad, not to mention the way his lower lip was quivering and his hands were trembling.

"Kurt? Are you okay? What is going on?" Blaine asked, this time as soft as he could after just having freaked out that way. He took a step closer to Kurt, reaching out his hand towards him but he didn't know what his plan was so he let his arm dangle back down his side.

"It's because I want more with you. I like you, Blaine! But this is just sex, and that is all I am to you, so just... it's over, okay?" Kurt wailed at him, and suddenly tears were rolling down his cheeks.

Blaine didn't even get a chance to react before Kurt had turned on his heel and was out of the door. Blaine ran after him, but he only made it to see the back of Kurt's head disappear between the party guests. Even though Blaine followed him, ran through the crowd of drunk teenagers, he didn't make it. When he reached outside Kurt was gone.

All that was left was the echo of Kurt's words floating around in his head. Kurt had been drunk. Really drunk. He didn't know what he was saying. Heck, he could barely stand on his own feet or see out of his eyes. Not to mention how upset, and obviously exhausted, he had been. There was no chance that he actually meant what he had said.

Blaine couldn't blame him. He had been driving himself hard. It was his senior year and he had so many school duties with clubs and exams and leaderships. Blaine knew that he also worked in his dad's tire shop when his dad was out of town for politics, and on the side he had to worry about his college application and keeping the house when he was alone with his brother. God should know that Finn wasn't exactly the domestic kind.

Yeah. This was all just a sign of Kurt being on the edge of a nervous breakdown. He had bitten off more than he could chew. It was very common among seniors, really. So it didn't mean anything. As much as Blaine wished that it did.

Instead of returning to the party Blaine went home. When he was lying in his bed he couldn't sleep. All he could think about was how things would have gone if he had been allowed to tell Kurt that he wanted more with him, too.

Wasn't that what he wanted, lately?

The way he, in the past few months, had started longing more for Kurt's kisses than his naked body. The way he had started smiling to himself whenever Kurt passed him in the halls. The way he felt a suction in his stomach when he got a text from Kurt. The way he felt like electricity was shot directly into his veins whenever Kurt touched him.

That couldn't just be sexual needs anymore.

However, the real question now was: should he talk to Kurt sober and confront him with his words, or should he merely pretend it hadn't been said, and deal with the fact that he would never be with Kurt again? Either way could end up in potentially extreme damage for him; either Kurt would rip off his head, pointing out that they had a deal and that he would never break his own rules, or he would never be with Kurt again and Blaine would have to watch him twist and writhe in front of him but not be able to do the slightest thing about it.

xXx

Getting through Sunday was easy. Blaine hadn't been drunk so he didn't have any hangovers, but he stayed in bed watching bad TV all morning before going out to lunch with his mom followed by a little shopping. The evening was spent on homework and checking up on his facebook and explaining to Rachel that he wasn't going to do a heartfelt duet with her in glee club because he had prepared something with Mercedes.

What was hard was Monday.

Everything went smoothly through as always. He got up, prepared for school, drove out there and went to his first classes. He chatted with his friends in the halls and had a minor food fight with Sam and Mike over lunch. It wasn't until after his last lesson his stomach started coiling up.

Glee club.

When he entered the choir room almost everyone were there. Quinn was standing by the piano, Rachel and Finn were being overly cuddly, Tina and Mercedes were laughing loudly – and Kurt was sitting by himself in a corner.

Blaine's first instinct was to sit down next to him, but he stopped himself. Kurt had ended their thing and he wasn't going to pressure him. He didn't want Kurt to feel that he was stalking him or something. But he just looked so worn out.

The rest of the day went on with Blaine forcing himself to stare at the ones who were performing on the floor, or focus on what Mr. Schue was telling him. Whenever he got the urge to look at Kurt he reminded himself not to.

It was not because he wanted to ignore Kurt. Quite the opposite, actually. He wanted to confront him. For the rest of the week he made up scenarios in his head of himself dragging Kurt into an abandoned class room, or cornering him in a deserted hall, or locking the door in the locker room and demand that they talked it out. That Kurt told him if he had meant any of what he had said.

A little voice in the back of his head kept praying that Kurt would text him, asking him to come over while his parents were out, or ask Blaine if he could come over. That Kurt really hadn't meant what he said and one day he would stop Blaine by his car and pull him into the backseat instead of driving home.

But it didn't happen.

Whenever a message ticked into his phone he got excited and hopeful, but it wasn't Kurt so he went sad. Whenever he saw Kurt come walking towards in the hallways of school he had to squeeze his lips together to not seem too ecstatic, but when Kurt walked straight past him without sparing him a look his stomach tied up and he didn't feel like going to class. Whenever he looked across the stage in the auditorium and wasn't met by Kurt's flirtatious smile he felt like all air was kicked out of his lungs. Whenever Kurt danced by him in Cheerio practice and he didn't come with an obscene remark about his moves or his body Blaine felt like sitting down and scream.

And to nothing but his extreme pain it didn't get better. Kurt only spoke to him if he had; during Cheerio captain meetings. Not even if they were put to dance next to each other in glee club did Kurt give him a word.

In Kurt he met nothing but silence and lack of eye contact.

Shortly put: it was hell.

xXx

Sunday it was just hangovers and he only left bed to shower and get tea. The following week Kurt had a tough time getting out of bed to get to school. After school he didn't have the energy to complain about his lack of solos in glee club, and he didn't bother fighting Coach Sylvester when she was being unreasonable. When he came home he fought through his homework and spent the evenings on the couch not watching whatever sport event was playing on the screen, or watching some brain dead chick-flick he didn't care for.

It was strange. Usually, when he was sitting alone in glee club, Blaine would sit next to him, but Monday afternoon he didn't. He didn't even look at Kurt. Not that Kurt cared.

Usually Blaine would send him flirtatious grins when he came walking down the halls, but throughout the week Blaine hadn't even looked in his direction. During Cheerios practice Blaine had said that they would do the easy routine where they would be a separate sides of the gymnasium all the time.

Yes, all he could feel from Blaine was cold. And Kurt didn't like it.

It was stupid. He had already planned to end things with Blaine after his encounter with Sue. He knew that it was what he had to do if he wanted to keep his leadership of the Cheerio squad. It had not been anything but sex, so there shouldn't be anything to feel down about. It wasn't a relationship and it never had the future to become one.

Maybe Coach Sylvester had talked to Blaine as well and Blaine had figured it easier to just end it without talking to Kurt about it. Kurt had been the one to make it clear that there was no point in being friendly when this was all about being naked. So why was he letting this get to him?

xXx

"What's up with you, buddy? You haven't even touched your food," Kurt's dad said as they were sitting by the dining table. Kurt had been poking at his food, chewed on the same tiny bit for ages and then poked around some more. He really just wasn't hungry.

"I'm not really hungry, dad," he sighed heavily, resting his head on his hand.

"This isn't one of those... like eating things is it?" His dad asked, concern swimming over his face.

"Dad, it's not an eating disorder just because I'm not hungry at one meal," Kurt declared and stared up at him.

"Good. If that was the case I would have to say that you couldn't be on that cereal squad thing anymore. But it's been more than just one meal. It's been going on for two weeks, Kurt." His dad put down his cutlery and leaned back in his chair, taking in the view of his son.

"At first I figured that yeah, maybe you weren't hungry. But then I noticed that you slowly started eating less, and now you mostly just play around with your food. You look exhausted all the time. What is going on with you, Kurt?" His dad was done sneaking around it, now he wanted answers.

"I'm just tired. It's probably just the changing in the weather. And we're called Cheerios," Kurt groaned, hoping it would be enough to shut his dad up, but deep down knowing it wouldn't.

"Is this something about a boy? Cause I think maybe Carole would be better at dealing with that. I wanna be there for you, but I have no idea what to say about boys," his dad tried again, this time a little more worried but also seeming like he felt a little guilty.

Carole and Finn were out doing something on their own. From their parents got married they had made sure to make time for Kurt to still have alone time with his dad, and Finn to still have alone time with his mom so they still felt their connection to their parent. They didn't want their kids to feel neglected in any way, and both Kurt and Finn had expressed their gratitude on several occasions.

"It's not an eating disorder, it is not about a boy, I just have lot to do with school these days. It'll pass soon," Kurt sighed heavily and got to his feet to take his plate to the sink.

After helping his dad cleaning the table and kitchen after their dinner Kurt excused himself to go to his room. The moment he was inside he fell to his bed and cried.

He didn't know why, but suddenly he felt more lonely and depressed than he had done for a long time. A gnawing emptiness was biting into his chest and it felt like he would never stop crying. He curled up around his pillow and sobbed heavily into the bedspread. The entire bed was shaking around him, but all he could do was let the tears fall and his throat go rasp.

What was happening to him? He refused to let this be about...

No!

xXx

It was getting harder to stand through school. Classes were cool, hanging with his friends was fun. What was indeed not cool and in no way fun was glee club, Cheerios practice and walking down the halls to see Kurt turn his back on him, not even looked to his side, not sending him mischievous glances.

It had reached a point where Blaine had started to turn around every time he saw Kurt in the halls. When they were having meetings with Coach Sylvester to plan the new routines for the competitions Blaine kept silent, realizing that Kurt didn't even notice his lack of enthusiasm, which only hurt even more. During glee club meetings Blaine didn't feel much like taking solos, and sometimes he even considering simply pretending to be sick so he could get out of it.

The lack of messages from Kurt felt like his phone was mocking whenever he looked at it. The time he usually spent naked and sweaty pressed against Kurt's naked, sweaty body had been replaced with time of lying on the bed reading comic books or watching bad TV. Fashion magazines and TV only reminded him of Kurt, so of course those were out of discussion for pastime.

Now it had been a month, and Coach Sylvester had put him on training bra wash-duty because of his lack of excitement and involvement over the past few weeks. Mr. Schue had declared that he would be pulling a solo on the upcoming competition and that he had better start putting some more feeling into it, because he was a little disappointed in his performance lately. He had started to say no to his parents' offers of movie nights or dining out.

Blaine was a miserable mess.

This day Mike had invited him over for an afternoon of video games and he had kicked himself to do it. He needed to get out of the house, to try getting his mind on other things, but now that he was there he kept losing and he knew that it was because he really wasn't even trying.

"What is the matter with you?" Mike suddenly burst out and pressed pause on the game.

Blaine stared at the screen where his player was frozen in a jump pose before he turned to look dumbfounded at his friend who was staring at him with wide eyes and an awaiting expression.

"I'm a little confused. What do you mean?"

Mike let his controller drop to the bed and turned to face Blaine completely. This time it was concern that was painted on his face and Blaine had a crippling idea of where this was headed.

"You have been so depressed lately. Usually you are like... the wildest burst of energy in school. But these days you're just sad and introverted. The other day you turned out dancing and singing backup on that awesome song Artie wanted to sing, and you didn't even care to look offended when Santana offended your hair," Mike blabbered out, and Blaine already knew it.

"So now I'm asking you again: what is the matter with you?" He repeated, serious and surely not backing down until he had answered.

It was strange. Kurt and him had agreed that their thing shouldn't be shared with anyone. If they started telling people it would confuse the situation with a relationship, so naturally it had been their secret. But it was too much to bear alone.

"I... I had this thing going with a guy. And uhm – he broke it off," Blaine started but somehow he couldn't stop it anymore, he needed to get it all out.

"We agreed that it should just be sex, because neither of us wanted to get into anything serious, but I lied. I liked him long before we started, and I was just happy to get to be with him in some way. And now he ended this thing we had going and I just... I just want to – be pathetic and beg him to be with me, but he doesn't want that. He's not the kind of guy to be with anyone. He's so... confident and independent. He's got so much going on and there is no way he would even want to be with me anyway. He is way out of my league. But I just... I miss him so much. I miss being with him, but I don't just want the sex. I want what follows, and what comes before. I want the dozy nights of movies and the flirty texts, I want the... obnoxious facebook couple-pictures and the holding hands down the street. I just want him. But he doesn't want me, and I can't get him out of my head," Blaine rambled off, not even realizing the tears on his cheeks until he finally allowed himself to breathe.

There. He said it. Admitted it all. Not that it mattered, because nothing could ever change the situation; that he was alone and left to watch Kurt and be killed by it every day.

"Dude. You do know that Kurt is just as bummed out as you, right?" Mike suddenly asked very seriously.

"What? I didn't -" Blaine started to object. He had been so careful to not mention that it was Kurt he was talking about. He made a promise, and he would never break that promise for anything.

"You didn't have to. It's been really obvious. Both you and Kurt and have been sulking to yourself for ages. You may never really have been speaking much, but you used to have your moments. Tiny stuff every day. It's been forever since you so much as sat next to each other in the choir room," Mike told.

"Please don't tell anyone. He was so strict about not letting anyone know. And he's just moving on, living his life, while I'm just here... missing him. Even though I never actually had him," Blaine said, the heavy tears fat and intruding, taking over his face and filling up his throat.

"Listen, Kurt is miserable as well. He looks so tired and depressed all the time. This has really been hard on him too. He doesn't really participate actively in anything, doesn't eat, often he just sits by himself. The other day he hadn't done his French homework... Kurt always does his French homework," Mike explained, and Blaine couldn't believe it.

"No. No, that's... he's really having a lot to juggle around. He's so busy," Blaine shrugged but appreciated what his friend was trying to do. He just couldn't get his hopes up when he knew that Kurt would never want it.

"But... it was really weird, though. He was really drunk and... It was at that party a month ago. He pulled me into a quiet room and said that Coach Sylvester had heard us and then he just started yelling at me. First he said that he didn't want anymore with me, but then he freaked out completely and said that he liked me. And I couldn't even do anything because he just stormed out of there," Blaine said, sniffing and trying to get his tears to stop.

"Well, that's it then. He likes you. He's crazy about you. Just talk to him," Mike declared like it was the most logic thing in the world.

"No. Oh no no. He was so drunk. He hasn't said a word to me since. Not a text, doesn't even talk to me during Cheerios meetings. He couldn't even stand straight that night. It was just some stupid thing he said in the heat of the moment," Blaine sighed and dried his tears off his cheeks.

"Come on... He hasn't been this down since Stefan cheated on him. He is miserable. He misses you. He looks at you whenever he knows that you are busy with something else. When you came to this school he and Stefan had just broken up. He was a mess. But then you came and he slowly started wearing something else than just his uniform to school, and he started lighting up whenever you came into the room. Kurt and I were never really BFFs, but he is into you. And I can assure you that he is heartbroken right now. Tina says he never even comes to their girls night things anymore, and the other day he said no to going shopping with her and Mercedes," Mike said firmly.

Blaine let the words sink in. He knew that Kurt's ex had treated him terrible. He graduated the year before Blaine came to the school, and after that Kurt had found out that he had been cheating on him for months with a girl and people said that it had completely broken his spirit. Blaine was also sure that was the reason he kept saying that he never wanted to date anyone ever again. But could it really be that Kurt had actually let his guards enough down to start liking Blaine and maybe wanting more with him than just sex?

"But... either way it doesn't matter. He always says that he doesn't wanna date anyone again, and whenever he sees me in the halls he goes the other way. If I tried talking to him he would probably just be angry with me because we made a deal to never let feelings get involved," Blaine said, becoming even more miserable by hearing his own words.

It was nice to know that Mike wanted to help him. But it was hopeless. There really wasn't anything to do. He couldn't exactly force Kurt to want him.

"I understand why he's scared. What Stefan did to him was really mean. No wonder he's afraid to be with anyone again," Blaine shrugged and leaned back against the headboard of Mike's bed.

They had completely abandoned their videogame. The screen had turned black and their controllers were lying at the foot of the bed.

"True. You can't really force him to stop being scared," Mike said sadly.

"Wait, what? That's it..." Blaine burst out and rushed to sit back up. Ideas were starting to form in his mind, blooming like flowers in spring.

"What? No, you literally can't force him..." Mike said confused.

"I'm not gonna force him. If his problem is that he's scared to be hurt again, I'll just have to show him that I'm not like Stefan. Stefan was a douche who treated him like dirt. I have to show him that I'm not like that," Blaine explained, remembering all the awful stories he had heard about how Stefan had stood up Kurt for important dates and how he had forgot his birthday, how he had forgot to tell Kurt when he went on an extended weekend with his parents – which later turned out to really be because he was going off somewhere with that girl's family.

"And how are you gonna do that?" Mike asked, seeming intrigued by the suddenly ignited spark in Blaine's spirit.

"I have a plan. But I will need your help. And... it's gonna take a lot," Blaine said excitedly, but he already knew that he could count on Mike.

This would be the day that he would always remember as the day he took up the fight to win Kurt Hummel's heart.

And trust.

xXx

It was just about as gloomy and dull a morning as every other. Kurt had reached a point where he was actually happy to put on his Cheerio uniform in the morning because his closet felt unconquerable. He was walking down the hall, feeling like he couldn't breathe. There were so many people, being ignorant and chatting about ignorant stuff. Everyone were playful and jolly – Kurt was lonely and felt like his head was being held under water.

He finally reached his locker, simply wanting to get rid of the books he didn't need for the first few classes so he could find his way to debate where he wasn't planning on saying anything but declare his presence. He dialed his locker code, screwed up, then dialed it again. Always the same when he was in this headspace.

What happened then he hadn't been prepared for. He was not really paying attention, simply wanted to get rid of the books weighing the heaviest in his satchel, but right as he was about to put them in his locker he found something that didn't belong there.

A single red rose was gently placed in the middle of the neat organization of his locker. He looked around himself, as if the story of where this came from would pop up to him out of nowhere, but he found nothing and no one. The hall looked like itself with people going to class, jocks talking about sports events and girls chatting about whatever it is girls chat about. Everything was the same as it had been a minute ago.

He got out the rose and turned it over, like maybe he could read it from the strong emerald color of the stem, or the bright scarlet of the crown, but there wasn't so much as a card to explain the mystery of how the flower had produced itself inside his closed locker over the weekend. No, it had to have been put there over the morning, because it was fresh and gorgeous like it had come straight from the garden. Not that Kurt could ever remember having seen such a beautiful rose in a garden in little, uncultured, Lima, Ohio.

What was he supposed to do about it now? He had classes to attend for the rest of the day. He couldn't exactly bring it with him around school. But he didn't want to leave it there. He checked the water in the vial was fresh and ran his fingers down the stem one more time before he made sure it was lying safe and closed the door.

With burning cheeks and a bright smile Kurt walked down the halls towards his debate class, clutching his books to his chest and a million thoughts rolling around his brain.

This morning he was on fire in his debate class.

xXx

At Cheerio practice Kurt kicked ass, but whenever he looked at Blaine he lost focus. It hurt to see him but not be able to say anything. It made him sad to be right next to him without being to touch so much as a light touch on the shoulder unless it was choreographed into the routine.

He missed Blaine. He missed the flirting and teasing and touches. The strange rose from the unknown was nice and it carried his mood through the day to know that it was waiting for him in his locker, but it didn't change that whenever he saw Blaine he wanted to turn around and run away instead.

However, he wasn't prepared for finding another rose the next day. Or the following day. Actually, every day for the rest of the week one single rose was to be found in Kurt's locker.

He was intrigued and flattered. In some way he was dying to know who the secret admirer was, but in another way he didn't want to know. Because what if this person was someone he couldn't stand - or what if it was someone he really liked; but it was a girl?

He considered hanging around his locker to see if he could sneak up on whoever it was, but since the rose appeared on different times of the day it was nearly impossible to predict. There was no pattern, but Kurt had secretly started making up random excuses to go to his locker at all times of the day until the rose showed up.

He knew he should be worried that someone knew his locker code and that he should probably change it, but at this point he got so giddy and bubbly inside whenever he found a new rose that he figured he could postpone it a little longer.

xXx

Wednesday. Week two of the plan and everything was going way better than expected. Blaine was ecstatic as he met up with Mike in the cafeteria for lunch, waiting for the report on how Kurt had received the note Blaine had put on his desk in history class.

"So - what? Did he say anything? Do anything?" Blaine asked the second Mike sat down next to him, a wide grin covering his face.

"Man, I wish you could have been there to see him! He sat down and found and picked up the note. I think he read it over five times before putting it into his calendar. He was all smiling and blushing. He is so into this. All through class he kept opening his calendar and I'm pretty sure he was looking at it..." Mike told, all ecstatic and excited.

Blaine had to hide his face in his hands. He couldn't believe that a small, rushed scribbled note from him could put Kurt in such a state. It had been a rash decision in the morning after he had snuck two roses into Kurt's locker with Mike standing guard. All the note had said was: "The way you wore your hair yesterday was stunning. I can't stop thinking about it, but those thoughts keep being interrupted by your smile."

He wasn't proud of it. Actually, Blaine felt really creepy. He had watched Kurt open his locker so many times he knew his code by heart. Not on purpose, of course.

However, it was a great comfort that Kurt had softened so much up after Blaine's roses had started showing up. It was either flattery or creepy, nothing in between for Kurt's reaction, and the note was only his step to kicking it up a notch.

xXx

By now Kurt had eleven long, gorgeous red roses in a vase on his desk. They were arranged so they were the first thing he saw when he woke up and the last thing he saw before he fell asleep. Even though it was starting to come off odd he couldn't help feeling a rush whenever he thought of them.

Kurt couldn't believe that some stranger would actually do this for him. Put time and money into something of that amplitude just to indulge him. And it had to be a stranger, because he didn't know any gay guys. All of his friends were straight. Other than him there was only one out gay guy in school; Blaine. But of course it couldn't be him.

Blaine had stopped talking to him and texting him after that day Coach Sylvester had reprimanded him because of their loud sex in the locker room. Which was just a proof of what Kurt had thought all from the beginning; all Blaine wanted was sex. Of course this made him happy that he had made the rule of no relationship in the beginning. Yet, whenever he saw Blaine he still got that heavy sick feeling in his stomach, and even though he knew that it was completely impossible he sometimes caught himself lying in his bed at night, staring at the roses on his desk while imagining that it was Blaine who gave him them in person instead of sneaking them into his locker.

Not that he wanted anything with Blaine. It was probably an automatic response from his brain because Blaine was the only gay guy he knew off so his brain found him to be the only person to put in a fantasy like that. Because he did not want Blaine to pretend that he liked him just so they could continue having sex.

The hardest part was that Kurt knew that whenever this person revealed himself, if he ever planned to, he would turn him down, and the person would be heartbroken. Because as sweet as it all was he simply couldn't stand the thought of opening up to someone again, because there would always come something or someone to make it crumple away. He could see it in his friends around him, but he had learned that the hard way.

As long as it's not Stefan. I can't see him again, Kurt thought with a gulp, as he entered McKinley Thursday morning. Luckily he had only seen Stefan a few times after the break. When Stefan had been home from college on holidays or long weekends. Sometimes with his parents or siblings. Sometimes with a new boy or girl on his arm. Piercing Kurt's heart.

He had absolutely no feelings for Stefan anymore. What killed him was how he could have been so stupid to believe Stefan's lies and thought they had a future together. He was embarrassed and angry at himself for having been made a fool of in such a shameless and cliche way.

But with the note yesterday it can't possibly be Stefan. He's away on college. If he had been by McKinley I would have known, Kurt told himself as he stopped by his locker.

As he always seemed to do before opening his locker these days Kurt took a deep breath and opened the door. But there wasn't two red roses waiting for him, like there had been all week. Not even one, like there had been every day the former week.

With sadness Kurt started fumbling around for his books. He wasn't sure if he was sad or relieved. He didn't know his own feelings anymore. On one hand he figured it was for the best, but on the other hand he kept hoping that this would be one of the days where the roses would show up later in the day. It was the same routine every morning he didn't find any roses I'm his locker; a mix of sadness and relief filled him.

He was just about to close up and go for class when he noticed a little box at the bottom of his locker. With adrenaline rushing and trembling fingers he picked it up. His heart started racing and his face turned flushed as he opened the little box.

Under the lid there was a neat, fine handwritten note, similar to the one he had received in class the former day, saying; "This reminded me of your eyes. I do hope it match, although it will never shine as bright as you."

The note made him giggle nervously to himself before he lifted the tissue paper and found a small azure skull brooch with gold trim - matching his eyes perfectly.

He had to keep in a small squeal. This was no plastic jewelry from WalMart. This was high quality from an antique shop where Kurt had gooed over the brooch for ages, but he couldn't afford to buy it since everything had to go to his New York find.

But now it was his!

He slammed his locker shut with a little too much enthusiasm and hurried down the hall with the box in his hand. When he sat down by his regular desk in his English class he pulled it back out to have a look and feel the smooth surface and admirer the shine of the amazing color.

There was no way he could stop smiling from this. It was beautiful. Still, he didn't really think that he could actually wear it. He wasn't in his uniform. He hadn't been all week, simply changed before practice. But even though the pin would actually match his outfit he felt like it would be too weird if he wore it. He didn't know who had given it to him.

Instead he snuck the box out whenever he got a chance and looked at the little skull in the magical blue shade. It was perfect. In his mind he had planned outfits around this brooch even though he knew he could never afford it, but now he could actually introduce them to the world.

xXx

When Kurt came to Cheerios practice that afternoon he was bursting with energy and was laughing with Quinn. Blaine was sitting on a bench, talking to Brittany when Kurt they entered the room, and he couldn't help looking as Kurt crossed the gymnasium floor with a great laughter that made him bend forward.

Today Kurt actually sent Blaine a glance, but when Blaine saw the sad smile Kurt sent him he felt a heavy throb in his chest. That wasn't a part of the plan. The point was to make Kurt happy and make him see that not all guys would treat him like Stefan did. That Blaine would do everything to make him feel special.

Throughout practice Kurt didn't seem to have changed mood. He joked around and laughed with the girls. His moves were filled with sway and flirting, but his eyes never found Blaine again. It was like Blaine didn't even exist in his world.

Blaine could live with that. He could wait.

Besides, what he had planned for Monday was something that was sure to knock Kurt off his feet. It would make him smile enough to last for the entire week. He wanted to keep Friday neutral, so the usual two roses would have to do.

When Blaine went to bed that night he couldn't help smiling to himself by the thought of Kurt's face when he found Blaine's next gift in his locker Monday morning. He had taken a good time to pick it out carefully and was going to wrap it up over the weekend after Cheerios practice.

He fell asleep to the thought of Kurt's face lighting up, his cheeks reaching for his eyes and the corners of his mouth dragging up to make the corners of his eyes crease adorably.

Yes, Blaine definitely needed to find a way to be present when Kurt found that one.

xXx

Monday morning Blaine found himself by Mike's locker down the hall from Kurt's. Mike was pretending to do something very important with his locker while Blaine was pretending to wait for him. In reality they were waiting for Kurt.

They had shown up to school really early to make sure Blaine could put the Monday gifts in his locker before anyone would show up. Blaine had arranged it all so three gorgeous, fresh roses were lying on top of a flat, green box containing the newest surprise for Kurt.

When he finally showed up Kurt was wearing his own clothes and not his uniform. Blaine was thrilled that he had started doing that. It was like Kurt was trying to impress him through his looks – and it worked. Blaine was always impressed with how Kurt looked. However, what really wrapped around Blaine's heart was that he was wearing the brooch, fastened to on his vest. For a moment Blaine got so overly excited that he almost banged his head into the locker next to Mike's simply because he couldn't contain his happiness. But he remembered that he had a purpose and returned his attention to Kurt's face as he dialed his code and opened the metal door.

What happened was that Kurt's one hand immediately flew to cover his mouth and he almost dropped his phone from his other hand. With shaking hand he took out the roses and turned them around, looking at them with awe one his face and red cheeks. He sniffed in the smell of the petals before his eyes widened and he put down the roses in the locker to get out the box.

He looked nervously around himself, Mike and Blaine managing to hide behind the door to Mike's locker. It didn't seem like he found anything to stop him, so he returned to the box. He slowly got off the purple ribbon and removed the lid.

The moment Kurt saw what the box had been hiding he bit his lower lip and shook his head lightly in disbelief. With shaking hands he put the lid back on the box, slammed his locker shut and ran towards the bathroom, leaving Blaine and Mike to stare at each other in confusion.

"What... what happened? Didn't he like it? Did I get it wrong? Oh god, no he hated it!" Blaine groaned and rubbed his hands over his face.

"Hey, relax. He's probably just speechless or something," Mike tried to calm him down as he closed his locker since they didn't need the shield anymore.

"Speechless? He didn't need to say anything! No. No no no. I ruined it," Blaine complained, resting his forehead against the cold metal, when Mike put a hand to his shoulder.

"Blaine, look," he said lowly.

With a pained grunt Blaine turned his head – to see Kurt coming down the hall from the bathroom. He was holding his head high and smiling broadly. The black scarf he had been wearing when he came to school was gone. Instead he was wearing the brown silk scarf from the box Blaine had left in his locker. Matching the skull-brooch on his vest perfectly.

"Oh god. He's wearing it," Blaine whispered to himself.

xXx

The rest of the week was filed with a firework of Kurt dancing around and joking with his friends. Blaine watched him from afar; saw his face light up whenever he found one of Blaine's notes that complimented his smile or hair or outfits. Blaine watched him blush and giggle when people complimented his scarf and brooch. If nothing else this was definitely enough to carry Blaine through the school day.

There was just one thing; Mike had asked when he was going to tell Kurt that it was him who was indulging him. To that Blaine had no idea how to reply. He was missing being close with Kurt burningly, but he still felt like it was too soon. Kurt might be giddy and soft from the presents but Blaine wasn't sure that three weeks was enough to change to his entire mindset regarding love and relations.

Over the week Blaine had kept a steady stream of roses and cute notes coming to Kurt's locker and on his desk in class rooms. He even put a post-it with a heart on his locker in the locker room before Cheerios practice. Thursday afternoon he even shot Blaine a grin across the gymnasium during a routine. That was when Blaine was sure that Friday was when he would take his next step of his plan.

xXx

It had been a good week for Kurt. A really good week. Every day he had found three gorgeous roses in his locker, and random cute notes had appeared in his locker or on his desk. Even on the door of his locker in the locker room.

He was thrilled. It was like being in a relationship without all the heartache and fighting, without all the worrying and jealousy. All he missed was the closeness and intimacy, but somehow he figured that if this continued for the rest of his high school career he could easily live through getting up early in the morning and fight through classes. Even without knowing who this mysterious guy was – because now he was sure it was a guy. If a girl had snuck into the boys' locker room he would have heard it.

It was Friday afternoon and he was walking down the hall, getting ready for his first weekend of hanging with the girls for ages. In his hand he was clutching a note with the short sentence: "I will miss your face over the weekend."

The parking lot was almost empty when he got there. Most people had left in a hurry with a need to go out and do whatever the other students did for their weekends. Partying and shopping, probably. Kurt himself had planned a shopping spree Saturday afternoon, followed by elaborate, deepening skin care routines and sad romance movies with Mercedes and Rachel in the evening.

He hadn't told anyone about his secret admirer. He had done his best to hide the roses when he took them to his car after school, and the notes were safely hidden in a desk drawer at home. But now he couldn't keep it inside anymore. He was going to tell the girls about it Saturday night.

He was lost in thoughts when he almost reached his car and stopped in the middle of his tracks. His stomach dropped and all blood ran from his face. It couldn't be true.

"What are you doing? What are you... what is this?" Kurt stammered out, making Blaine jump where he had been trying to fasten an envelope under the wiper blade of Kurt's car.

"Kurt? Oh god. Oh no... this was not how it was supposed to -" Blaine started to blabber out, panic filling him. Everything was ruined.

"So it's been you all along? You," Kurt said coolly, walking with slow steps towards the car. He felt like he was on something. Everything seemed distorted and surreal. It was all one big joke.

"Kurt, I just wanted to -" Blaine tried calmly, but was cut off.

"You broke the code, Blaine! This thing with us... we agreed to never let feelings get involved. So it wouldn't mess with our heads. It was the only rule! This is not -" Kurt said shrilly, his eyes burning and his hands shaking.

"You broke the rule first, Kurt!When you said that you liked me, and then you just... ignored me. You haven't talked to me for almost two months. But you said that you liked me, that you wanted more with me. And that is all I ever wanted, but you didn't even give me a chance to tell you that I -" Blaine boomed at him, voice raised and all of his frustrations from the past year welling up in him.

"That is not true. I don't want your... stupid flowers! Or stupid gifts! This was never a relationship. You just want regular sex. You're just as much of a pig as the rest of them!" Kurt cried, tears now flooding down his face as he threw the roses of the day towards Blaine.

"Kurt, please just -"

But Kurt wouldn't have any of it. He ran for his car and jumped in as quickly as possible. He threw his bag to the passenger seat and drove off, not daring to even spare Blaine a glance. He was heartbroken and could hardly see through his tears. Looking back at Blaine would only make the cramps in his stomach worse and the knot in his throat grow.

This was exactly what he had tried to avoid by making that rule. He had tried to prevent his heart getting smashed. But it was again. Of all the people in the world why did it have to be Blaine? Blaine.

I should have thrown it all out. Made it stop before it even really started, Kurt thought to himself as he wiped the tears of his face. He parked his car in the driveway as always and fled to his room. Didn't even say hi to Carole as he ran through the house and up the stairs.

Once inside his only safe place in the world he slammed the door, let his bag dump to the floor and threw himself on the bed. His phone had vibrated a few times. All texts from Blaine begging him to let him come over so they could talk about it. Instead of replying Kurt just turned his phone off.

He's such a stupid pig. Of course he would try to start it again after going horny for so long. To think that he could buy his way into my pants, Kurt thought as he sobbed into his bedspread, clinging to the fabric.

He stayed on his bed. The thrusting sobs felt like they were stirring up his internal organs, moving around everything inside of him. His knuckles turned white from grabbing the bedspread so hard and his throat was on fire.

From his bed he could smell the roses in the vase on the desk by the window, but he refused to look at them. He wanted to take them – vase and everything – and just throw it out the window to watch it shatter all over the pavement in the street. They were nothing but proof that guys would do anything to lie their way to get his pants off. That men knew no boundaries or restrictions when it came to sex, not even if it meant a broken heart.

He cried himself to sleep. Curled up on the bed, the soft cotton drenched in tears, spit and snot. His abdomens were screaming from exhaustion and his eyes were burning from the salt. It was still afternoon, but his temples were pounding and all his energy had seeped into the bedspread with his cries.

He didn't wake up until hours later. When he looked around himself his room was dark and he could see that the street lights had been lit outside his window. It took him a moment before he realized that what had waken him up was a knock on the door. He buried his face in his pillow, hoping whoever it was would leave him alone if they thought he was asleep.

"Kurt, I'm gonna come in," his dad's voice suddenly sounded and Kurt knew that he couldn't escape this.

Kurt instinctively knew that his dad was crossing the floor, and he felt it when the bed sunk a little as his dad sat down next to him. His dad ran a big hand softly up and down Kurt's back for a moment, sighing deeply.

"I don't know what to do, Kurt. If you don't talk to me I can't help you. I thought you were feeling better. You've been so happy lately. And then Carole told me you came home and slammed doors and stomped around up here without saying a word to anyone. Your phone is off. What do you want me to do here, kiddo?" His dad sounded concerned. Deeply troubled by his son's despair.

That was all Kurt needed. His sobs broke free again. It was impossible for him to hold back when his dad was sitting right there next to him. At this point all he needed was his dad; so he sat up and clasped his face against his dad's chest, knowing exactly what his dad's reaction would be – and he was right. Burt took a deep breath and folded his arms around his crying boy.

"I am just so tired. I can't do this anymore, dad. Why do all guys have to be idiots?" He cried, knowing this was a talk his dad would find awkward and uncomfortable to no ends, but he couldn't deal with that right now. He just wanted his dad to tell him that all men were mean and cruel, and that he was better off without them.

"Oh Kurt. Is this about a guy? I should've known," his dad said and cradled the back of Kurt's head as he started slowly rocking him back and forth.

"I'm just so sick of being lonely, but they are all such pigs," Kurt continued to thrust out while his tears soaked his dad's shirt.

He could feel that his dad was lost for words. Of course his dad would do anything to be there for him. He always would. But it wasn't all that easy, and as much as his dad loved him he never knew what to do about himself whenever Kurt started talking about guys.

"Tell me what happened. It's not another thing like with Stefan, is it? Cause I'm still gonna kick that kid's ass if he ever comes around here again," Burt said and squeezed his arms a little tighter around his son when the boy backed a little away, sniffing violently.

"There was this guy... we had – a thing. Over the past year. We agreed that we didn't want to – because I didn't want anything serious, you know. Because I knew it would be like this. And I ended it some few weeks ago, because... I couldn't do it anymore. Then he started leaving me gifts and stuff in my locker at school, but I didn't know it was him. And today I found out that it was him. He's just been mocking me all this time. Laughing at how naïve I've been."

He was embarrassed. Incredibly embarrassed. He couldn't sit there telling his dad how he had been having casual sex with the same guy over the past year. He had done things with Blaine that he didn't want his dad to ever know was even possible for his son to do.

There was a moment of silence. Burt didn't speak, but stuck to brushing his hand soothingly up and down Kurt's back. He definitely turning Kurt's words over in his head, and he knew what Kurt meant when he said that he and Blaine had "a thing", but right now Kurt was so miserable and worked up that he couldn't care about it.

"Kurt... I don't know who this guy is, or what has been going down between the two of you, but I know that no one buys themselves roses like the ones that's been popping up on your desk over the past few weeks, and I know that no one spends so much money on someone they don't care about. Did you ever for a moment consider that maybe he wasn't mocking you? Maybe he actually cares about you and like you?" His dad asked softly, clearly aware that this could tick off Kurt.

"Of course he doesn't! At the beginning he said that he didn't want anything serious, just like I said. We had fun and that was all it was. Now he's just bored and wants to go back to what it was. But it doesn't matter, because I don't want him to care about me. I don't want him to like me. I don't want him!" Kurt shrilled, feeling guilty for talking to his dad that way, but it couldn't be so damn hard to understand that there was no way in hell Kurt wanted Blaine like that.

"Listen – you may always have been able to twist me around your little finger, but I know you. Iraisedyou. I was a part of making you who you are. Now I'm asking you; if you didn't want him to care, would you really be this upset?"

A breath was caught up in Kurt's throat. Of course he was upset. Blaine had turned him into a fool in front of the entire school for weeks now. He had probably been laughing at how easily Kurt had fallen into the notion of someone actually liking him. Planned out in details how he would coax Kurt into going back to having sex with him regularly, making Kurt think that he was with him because he had feelings for him to make Kurt invest more time in their naked hours together.

But from all he knew about Blaine was that really who he was? Was that really the image he had got of Blaine throughout the little more than a year they had known each other?

Sure, they had never been hanging out together. All they had ever done together was have sex, or have captain meetings, or glee club rehearsals. Always something related to school. Even at parties where they were both present they didn't interact anymore than flirtatious looks across a room, or foreplay-sexting before they disappeared into a deserted room to get their pants down.

But he had seen Blaine perform in glee, with a true passion. Heard him talk to their mutual friends. Seen him interact with others. Heard the soft way he sometimes whispered into Kurt's ear during sex. He had heard from Rachel and Tina what a sweet and considerate guy he was. The times there had been trouble between members of glee club or Cheerios Blaine had always been the one to try and reason and solve the problems. Never had Kurt experienced Blaine be the root for trouble. But just because he was like that with his friends did that mean anything in concerns of his "romantic" relations?

"I don't... it only creates trouble. I just want this feeling to go away, dad," Kurt cried and fell back into his dad's embrace.

"I know, kiddo. I know. If I could take it away from you I would. But you can't shield yourself from pain either. If you don't have pain you won't get the good stuff either. It sucks," his dad chuckled hollowly and resumed to comfort his crying boy best possible.

They stayed on Kurt's bed, his dad comforting him, for over an hour. In the end he convinced Kurt that he needed to get something to eat and they went to the kitchen. Kurt poked around his food for fifteen minutes before his dad told him that he could leave. He went directly to bed, crying himself to sleep while thinking about why Blaine would ever do something like this to him when he had been so explicit in his wishes for nothing more than sex, just the way Kurt had.

xXx

Getting out of bed Saturday morning was probably the hardest thing Kurt had needed to do in years. He was lying in bed, staring into the wall, for almost an hour. He considered staying in bed, but regionals were close for Cheerios and they needed their captain.

Captains.

If he stayed away Coach Sylvester would surely kick him off the squad, or degrade him to the bottom of the pyramid. He couldn't live with that.

And he couldn't live with Blaine thinking that he had broken him. If he didn't show up to practice Blaine would know how hard Kurt had taken this, and he was not going with that. He was not letting Blaine see how this affected him.

No. He was getting up, put on his uniform, got ready and went to practice. Just like any other Saturday before Cheerios practice.

He showed up early. The girls were spread around in clusters, chatting and stretching. Nothing was out of the ordinary. Coach Sylvester was currently yelling at a girl who had her hair dyed in a shade their coach could not agree to, and Santana was telling Brittany that she had her top on inside-out.

But Blaine wasn't there.

"You, Dancing Queer! Where's your humping dwarf?" Coach Sylvester snarled as she approached Kurt. She stopped dead in front of him, hands on her hips and eyes narrowed on him.

"How should I know? I don't talk to him unless you force me to," Kurt declared coolly, hoping his face wasn't betraying him and showing off his true emotions on the subject.

"Of course not. How would you be able to speak with you mouth full -"

"Just stop, Coach! I have not talked to Blaine since that day you dragged me into your office. So no, I don't know where he is. If you want to see him you call him," Kurt snapped and started to walk away but was stopped by a bony finger boring into his shoulder and stone hard eyes locked on his face.

"I know for a fact that little Mr. Gel Poster-boy is at the school right now. I saw him when I arrived, but he doesn't answer his phone, so now you are gonna take your skinny little ass to the boys' locker room and see if he is hiding there. Regionals is next week and I need both of my top gays or you will both be on training bra washing duty from now on until you turn thirty!" With that she turned on her heel and walked towards Becky who was fumbling around with a jump rope.

Kurt almost cried. There was no way he was getting out of this, but the last thing he needed right now was to see Blaine. Seeing Blaine alone was the worst thing he could even imagine. He felt sick. Considered simply quitting Cheerios so he could go home and hide. Continue his crying where he left off the previous day.

But he couldn't deny her. He knew that when Coach Sylvester said stuff like that she meant it. And if he refused she would send someone else to get Blaine and somehow Blaine would find out that Kurt had refused to do it.

So he took a deep breath and left the gymnasium. He walked down the weekend-deserted halls of the school. When he entered the locker room his footsteps echoed through off the tiled walls. The room was empty. Blaine wasn't there.

But Kurt had also seen his car in the parking lot in the morning. He remembered it clearly because he had taken a moment in his car to convince himself that he had to go in, and then when he had got out of his car he had to take a moment to not throw up all over the asphalt of the parking lot.

Then where was he? Kurt didn't have his phone with him. He had left it in his car. He didn't care about what anyone could have to say to him today anyway.

He started out by walking towards the choir room. It would be very like Blaine to lose himself in the choir room, studying lyrics of a song or trying out dance routines for a performance. It wouldn't be the first time he was late to Cheerios practice because of that.

But the choir room was empty, too. So Kurt only saw one place left to go look for him, and if he wasn't there it should be fair enough to give up. After all, he had captain duties to see to, just as well as Blaine had. That Blaine had decided to show up to school but stay away from practice really shouldn't be his problem. He wasn't Blaine's babysitter.

Or boyfriend.

As Kurt entered the area behind the stage he could feel that he had hit right this time. When he walked through the dark area of makeup mirrors and rows of costumes he could vaguely hear the tones streaming from the grand piano on the auditorium stage.

He was just about to walk onto the stage to tell Blaine to get his ass up and head for the gymnasium, but stopped in his tracks. He was hidden in the shadows of the sidewing of the stage with a perfect view to Blaine who was sitting in his uniform in the middle of the stage. His face was in pained folds and his voice was thick as he was singing.

"My pride, my ego, my needs and my selfish ways
Caused a good strong man like you to walk out my life
Now I never, never get to clean up the mess I made
And it haunts me every time I close my eyes
It all just sounds like uh, uh, uh, uh
"

Blaine's face was glistening with wet streams down his cheeks. At least, it looked like it from the way the lights hit him, and Kurt was paralyzed in the spot.

"Too young, too dumb to realize
That I should have bought you flowers and held your hand
Should have gave all my hours when I had the chance
Take you to every party cause all you wanted to do was dance
Now my baby is dancing, but he's dancing with another man.
"

Kurt had watched Blaine perform over and over again, but never like this. This was the most intense, deep, performance he had ever seen anyone give. His voice cracked at every other word and Kurt was willing to bet that he was shaken.

"Although it hurts I'll be the first to say that I was wrong
Oh, I know I'm probably much too late
To try and apologize for my mistakes
But I just want you to know...
"

Kurt's stomach curled up. It felt like his heart was trying to escape through his throat. He had to support against the wall to avoid his knees breaking under him, and his teeth were almost cracking the skin the way he was biting his lower lip.

He didn't mean to. It was an accident, and he panicked. A sob escaped his throat when he realized tears were rolling down his face, and the sound made Blaine stop his hands moving over the ivory and look straight at Kurt where he was standing at the side of the stage.

"Kurt? Kurt,pleasegive me a chance -" Blaine cried and started to get up, but Kurt couldn't take it.

He turned around and ran. Ran out of the auditorium, down the halls and out of the school, towards his car. Right now he didn't care about Coach Sylvester's threats. All that mattered was that he couldn't be close to Blaine anymore. Not now. Not ever.

He could hardly drive with his tears stinging his eyes, blurring his sight, but he needed to get away. On his way home his thoughts were a chaos, a mayhem of feelings and fears. He had no idea what this even meant. What was he supposed to make from this?

xXx

Blaine was frozen in the spot. The streaks of saltwater were itching where they were drying on his skin in the hot light from the spot above the stage. He was almost twenty minutes late to Cheerios practice and he was exhausted from not having slept at night.

None of that mattered to him, though. When he had seen Kurt standing there; watching him sing his heart out because it was all he knew how to do, he felt like he had fallen from a hundred feet in the air and landed right on his chest. All air was punched out of him and a stinging pain spread throughout his body.

For a moment he was paralyzed where he was standing. Locked in the spot he stopped when Kurt ran away. Ran away from him. Again.

But this wasn't over. He couldn't let it be. He needed to let Kurt know his side of the story. Let Kurt know exactly how he felt. He wasn't giving up before Kurt had looked him in the eyes and honestly told him that he didn't have any feelings for him at all.

Kurt had to be feeling something for him. He had to. He had said that he liked him. Mike had noticed him change around Blaine. There had to be something.

With new-found determination Blaine walked straight to his car. He had to drive to Kurt's house and demand of him to talk to him. At his house he couldn't just run away. Kurt owed it to him to talk to him no matter the outcome. The joke of the entire situation was that it had all started with them promising to never let emotions take over, to not create history together, but in reality that was just the beginning of their story; together.

Now there he was. He had parked his car in the driveway behind Kurt's the way he used to when they had Kurt's house to themselves and they didn't have to worry about how loud or rough they were. When they didn't have to worry about Kurt having to introduce Blaine to his family and when they didn't have to pretend to be actual friends.

He got out of his car and looked up at Kurt's window for a moment, trying to gather the needed courage to do what he was about to do. He hoped to any higher power that someone but Kurt would be home, because there was no way Kurt was going to let him in. With sweaty palms and clogged throat he knocked the door, waiting for an answer.

After a moment the door was opened, making Blaine nearly jump from the shock. A man in a suit opened the door. This had to be Kurt's dad. Blaine had never met anyone in Kurt's family, except for Finn, so this was a scary moment. This was not the way he had planned to be introduced to Kurt's dad.

"Hi. Eh... can I – talk to Kurt?" Blaine asked awkwardly, hiding his hands in his pockets to not fumble too much around.

"And who are you?" The man asked, his face indifferent. There was no sign to him knowing anything about what had been going on between Blaine and Kurt. At least this wasn't the moment where Kurt's dad would slaughter him for making his son cry.

"I'm Blaine. I – I go to school with Kurt. We're in..." He started to say, but Kurt's dad interrupted him.

"I get it. Come in, kid. I think we need to talk," he said and took a step to the side, gesturing for Blaine to enter the house.

Insecurely Blaine entered the little hall. He followed Kurt's dad past the stairs and down the hall to the kitchen. He nodded towards a chair by the dining table and Blaine sat down. Kurt's dad sat down in front of him, staring at him; like he was expecting Blaine's face to show off his entire story.

"Can I expect you to be straight with me?" The man asked after what felt like ages of silence.

"Yes. You can," Blaine assured him, his voice weak.

"Are you gay? Or straight? Or bi? Or maybe something else?" Mr. Hummel's voice was firm. Something was simmering under the surface, waiting to break through.

"I am gay. Through and through. Clean record," Blaine confirmed, nodding a little.

Mr. Hummel nodded in accept of Blaine's response. He looked like he was turning it over in his head, considering the consequences of Blaine's response. Weighing his next question.

"What exactly are your intentions for my son? Because I have a heartbroken boy crying in his room for the second day in a row, and I have a feeling that this has very much something to do with you," the man suddenly said and Blaine felt ice creep from his lungs through his windpipe.

He looked down in his lap where his hands were folded. He chewed on his cheek, hoping he wasn't going to break down in tears in front of Kurt's dad, but right now he wasn't sure that he had any sort of control of himself left in his body. He was so tired and all he wanted was to curl up around Kurt and sleep.

"My intentions? Well I... I care very much about him," Blaine settled for saying, not sure how detailed he should go into his feelings of Kurt, but not wanting to break his promise of being truthful, either.

"Are you in love with him?"

Wow. Blaine hadn't expected that question. That was very forward and bold.

"Yes. I am. A lot," Blaine said without planning to, but when he said the words he could feel that they were right. He had nothing to be ashamed of because it was the deepest truth; he was lost in love with Kurt.

"You do know what happened with the last guy who said that, right? What he did to Kurt," Mr. Hummel said, making needles spread under Blaine's skin. He hated any mention of Stefan more than he could ever say.

"Yes. I do. And... I could never do that to him. I just – I just want him to give me a chance to show him that... not everyone is like that. That I am not like that. That – I wanna do everything to erase that from his memory and replace it with good things instead," Blaine blabbered out, nearly clasping his hand for his mouth, because that was way too inappropriate to say in front of Kurt's dad.

"The thing is... I don't usually do this. Kurt is a smart boy. He can take care of himself, and I want him to make his own mistakes. That's how a kid learns, you know. But in the past few months he has been in a darker hole than he was back when he found out what Stefan did to him. Then his mood cleared up. I've never seen him in such a good mood in his life. But then yesterday happened. I was scared for my kid. I don't think I've ever seen him in such a terrible state. So I am asking you now: are you willing to fight to do what's right? Because Kurt is one stubborn boy, and he is not just gonna hand himself over to you," Mr. Hummel explained.

"Fight for him? That's what I've been trying to do these past few months; show him that I'm not like Stefan. That I think that he deserves to be spoiled and – I just want him to be happy. Sir, you have to believe me. I never, ever wanted this to happen. I had planned this grand thing in the auditorium. I was gonna sing to him and tell him how I feel to let him know that it was me all along. That I'm not gonna stop just because he knows who I am," Blaine rushed out, tears back to itching in the corners of his eyes and his voice shaking.

"I'm sorry. I just... I just want Kurt to be happy. He deserves to be happy. And I want him to give me a chance to show him that I can make him happy. All I want is one chance. If he still thinks he's better off without me – then I guess I don't have much choice but to leave him alone. Just – one chance," Blaine mumbled. His voice was thick and heavy, pleading for Kurt's dad to understand.

"Kurt is in his room. I'm gonna go out now, and you are gonna go up there and tell my kid what you just told me. Make my boy happy, or I am not gonna stop him when he'll slash you with his claws. Because he will," Mr. Hummel said and got to his feet, padding Blaine's shoulder lightly.

"What?" Blaine asked, confused about what was really going on. The entire day seemed to blurred together to one big fog and Blaine's brain was exhausted.

"Just go up there. I'll guarantee you that he's a mess up there. I have to leave for a business-meeting, but I am giving you what will probably be your only chance to ever make this right. Don't let it slip away."

Kurt's dad turned around and headed back towards the front door. Blaine watched as he disappeared down the hall and heard the door close behind him. This was now. Blaine's only chance to ever get Kurt to understand what he had been trying to do.

Blaine sat staring through the kitchen for a moment. He was alone in Kurt's house. He had never been in this part of the house before. Whenever he had been there he had been dragged directly to Kurt's room.

Slowly he got to his feet and started walking towards the hall. He climbed the stairs with careful steps. When he reached Kurt's door he paused, took a moment to let the moment come over him. There was no sound from the other side of the door. Maybe Kurt was asleep. He couldn't just wake him up. But if he didn't do this now maybe he would never get the chance again. That was what Kurt's dad had told him. So he did it. He knocked the door.

"What?" Kurt snarled as he aggressively swung the door open. When he saw that it was Blaine on the other side all color left his face. He took a few steps backwards and turned his back on Blaine.

"What are you doing here?" He asked, but didn't let Blaine answer before he continued.

"No. I don't even wanna know. Just get out of my house. I don't wanna see you, Blaine," Kurt said shakily.

"Your dad let me in. Please, just give me a minute. I can't let this go before you've given me a chance to explain," Blaine pleaded, putting all feelings he had into his plea.

"No, Blaine. We don't have anything to say to each other. We had a deal, you broke the deal with all of this... shit. Just to get in my pants. You've been there, isn't that enough for you?" Kurt whined, his back still on Blaine.

But Blaine refused to let it go away so easily. He wasn't going to let Kurt brush it off like that so he took a step into the room, getting ready to put in all forces.

"You broke the rules first, Kurt. You told me that you liked me, and then you dumped me," Blaine reminded him firmly. He felt like he was a broken record, repeating himself for the nth time.

"I couldn't dump you because we were never together, Blaine. That was the whole point of all of this. That we wouldn't be a couple!" Kurt shrilled and turned around, lightning filling his eyes, making Blaine's nerves tingle uncomfortably. He had seen Kurt look at people that way; kids who bullied others, when Coach Sylvester spoke particularly harsh to the Cheerios, that one time a guy in the hall had given Blaine a homophobic comment.

Yes. There was that one time. Blaine had completely forgot how Kurt had actually defended him against bullies. It was only a few months ago when Blaine had been showing a dance move to Sam in the hall and a jock had pushed him, telling him to take his "faggy tendencies back in the closet". Kurt had responded by pushing the jock back and told him to take his homophobic tendencies back to the 60's. Kurt hadn't even been standing with them, he had been a few lockers down, talking to Rachel and Quinn. That day Blaine had made a big deal out of appreciating Kurt's body all over with his hands, eyes, lips and tongue. Done his best to make Kurt feel how much that moment had meant to him.

"Kurt, what is the problem? You said that you liked me. And I like you too. It shouldn't be so difficult!" Blaine declared frustrated.

"You don't like me, Blaine. You like fucking me. You like fooling around with me without having to actually be with me. You like getting an orgasm without having to cuddle after. You like getting sweaty and naked with me without having to acknowledge me in the halls. You like knowing that no matter what crap you do you will always be able to get laid, even if you can't get laid elsewhere. This was never a relationship. This was sex!" Kurt yelled, his voice sharp and desperate.

"Have you got nothing of what I've been trying to tell you over the past few weeks? I want all of those things with you!" Blaine yelled back, not sure why he was raising his voice, but he couldn't stop it. He was completely in awe over how Kurt could not just get it.

"You're just as much of a pig as everyone else. All guys ever want is fuck, and I must be easy. You've just been laughing at me. How easy it was to manipulate me into thinking someone could actually find me interesting and worth spending time on. I bet you've just been watching me as I was stupid enough to believe it, waiting for you to strike so you could get my pants back off," Kurt screamed, tears rolling down his face.

His hands were trembling and his face was going completely wet. His eyes had stopped lightning but instead they looked like they were on the verge of cracking. He didn't look angry anymore, instead he looked scared and miserable. The spark Blaine had always loved in Kurt's eyes had been put out. He had done that. He had put out Kurt's spark.

"Kurt, why don't you get it? I haven't had sex with anyone but you! Ever! You were my first, and I want you to be my last. And not because you're the only other gay in school, because I've had offers. But I turned them down, because I was thinking about you! Only you! I wanna treat you like royalty, I wanna hold your hand down the halls and down the street, I wanna kiss you in the sunset and... you have no idea how much it hurt every single time you have kicked me out, when all I wanted to do was cuddle you instead. Fall asleep while holding around you. Not all guys are like Stefan! I know what he did to you was awful, and no one should ever treat you like that – but you have to see that we aren't all like that. Kurt, I – I just wanna... do all I can to make you forget that you ever knew that douche," Blaine thrust out.

Now he was crying himself. He had promised not to let Kurt see him cry, but he couldn't stop it anymore. His heart was cramping in his chest and his brain was lost for words. He had nothing more to give, nothing more to say, nothing more to do to try and convince Kurt that he would never do him any harm. He had lost the battle.

"I know that you are scared, but... would you please leave that behind and just – I don't know what to tell you anymore, Kurt. I am so crazy about you, but I can't force you to let your guards down. I am just so afraid of what you will miss if you don't allow yourself to feel," Blaine sighed heavily, surprised that he hadn't broken completely down yet. That his words were even comprehensible.

"I broke the rule. Our one rule. But that was even before the rule was made. I only went with this deal with you because... I was so lost in you, already before you even acknowledged my existence. I joined the Cheerios to be close to you, Kurt! I didn't need to join them, I didn't care about being a cheerleader when I came to this school. I didn't even have time next to glee club and boxing. I only tried out because only seeing you in glee club just wasn't enough for me. I wanted to be close to you and get to know you and... hope that you could feel the same way about me. And when I heard about why you always were so sad, what Stefan had done to you – I just wanted to punch him. Because I can't stand the thought of someone hurting you," Blaine told, not yelling anymore, but fighting to get his words through his sobs, a nearly impossible battle to make his words understandable in his cry-thick voice.

Kurt was sitting on the bed now. His hands were covering his face and his entire frame was shaking with his sobs, coming from a deep place inside of him. A place of heart and soul where Blaine was starting to face that he would never be let in. Because Kurt had made up his mind, and he was as stubborn as his dad had predicted.

"I – I'm just gonna go. I'm sorry, Kurt. I never wanted to hurt you, ever. The opposite, actually. But it seems like you've decided, and – like I told your dad; since you still don't want me I will leave you alone. Goodbye, Kurt," Blaine sniffed and turned around to leave.

When Kurt didn't respond he proceeded out of the door and down the stairs. He took a moment to cup his hands over his face and do his best to, fruitlessly, kill the sobs that were ripping from his chest and scratching through his throat.

He was just about to open the door when he felt a strong hand on his shoulder and he was turned around. He didn't get to even consider the situation before Kurt's mouth was sealed on his, Kurt's arms sliding around his neck.

It took a moment for Blaine to get what was going on, but he quickly fell into the reality of the situation and slipped his arms around Kurt, pulling him closer and kissing him back with force, and Kurt returned with a need he had never kissed Blaine with before.

"I hope for your sake you meant everything you said up there. God, Blaine, I've been so stupid and you've been so sweet to me. I've missed you so much," Kurt cried as he rested his forehead against Blaine's.

"Of course I meant it. Kurt, I meant all of it. All of the notes I've sent you, all of the roses and gifts and everything. You deserve good things, and I wanna show you that you shouldn't be alone. I just wanna be with you so I can show you how much I wanna spoil you, and -" Blaine sighed, not having any words left anymore.

"You're so sweet to me always. I've been such a jerk. But you're right – I've been crazy about you too. For so damn long. I was just... I was so terrified that I would finally give in and then you would find someone better than me and I would be alone again," Kurt cried and wiped a tear away from his face as he backed a little away from Blaine.

"I could never find anyone better than you, Kurt. That's what I've tried to tell you all along. That you are the best I could ever find. You are so out of my league. I was just happy to have whatever you would let me have with you. And then you dumped me and I – I didn't know what to do. I kept missing you, but you wouldn't even look to my side," Blaine told. He was still crying, but he tried to brush it off, push it away.

"I'm sorry, Blaine. You have no idea how much it killed me to stay away from you. And Christ I am so exhausted right now. I can't even feel my legs," Kurt chuckled and wiped a tear off Blaine's cheek, coaxing a smile from Blaine as Kurt let his hand down to slip into Blaine's.

"Wanna come upstairs?" Kurt asked and Blaine felt his stomach tumble over.

"Yeah. Yeah, that'd be good," Blaine agreed with a slight nod.

With a smile Kurt led Blaine back to his room, their hands locked together like they were never going to let go. Not that Blaine would if he had a choice.

Kurt crawled onto the bed and laid down. He held his arms open for Blaine, and it only took Blaine a second to let himself mold into Kurt's body, Kurt's arms safely tugged around him. The feeling was warm and comforting, like the past few months of staying away from Kurt had only been a bad nightmare haunting him.

He had no concept of time. Knew nothing about how long they had been fighting, and he didn't care. He didn't need to know how long they would be lying there; all he needed was Kurt, and for once Kurt was actually holding his arms around him without it having to be about sex. Kurt was cuddled up against him and had entwined his fingers with Blaine's because he wanted to be with Blaine.

"I – Blaine, I... I think I'm in love with you," Kurt suddenly whispered.

Blaine actually thought he had fallen asleep. Neither of them had said anything for a long time, and Blaine had simply been dwelling in the consoling feeling of the way their breathing seemed to have found a joined rhythm of their chests moving in sync with each other.

He bit down on his lower lip and awkwardly moved around so he could look Kurt in the eyes. He looked scared, but the spark had been reignited and the rosy color had returned to his cheeks.

"Kurt, I love you. So much. I've done for a long time," Blaine admitted, hoping it wasn't too soon, but when a smile filled Kurt's face relief flooded through his body.

"I love you too," Kurt grinned and pressed a kiss to Blaine's mouth.

He let their fingers slot into place between their chests, looking at the way he was strolling his thumb over Blaine's fingers for a moment before he looked back to Blaine's face.

"Does this mean that... you're my boyfriend now? Like, all official and everything," he asked insecurely.

"Yes. I will be you boyfriend. If you want me. Because – that's really all I want," Blaine accepted shyly.

With a little giggle Kurt pulled him closer for a kiss, allowing his one hand to run around Blaine's neck and let his fingers play with Blaine's hair at the nape of his neck. This had to be the perfect way to spend his Saturday.

It was nearly overwhelming to feel Kurt back against him. It had been so long since they had been close, and the way Kurt kissed him now wasn't like any way he had ever kissed him before. The passion and need was different, the urgency was stronger and for once Blaine could actually feel the emotions course between their mouths, rather than lust and hormones.

He felt like this was the first time he could actually let loose with Kurt. He couldn't count the times they had been naked together, but he had still always felt like he had to hold himself back. There had been boundaries he wasn't allowed to break, tiny things that would take it from messing around to personal. Now he didn't have to worry about that anymore. Now he could disconnect his brain and reconnect his heart instead.

Carefully Blaine let his hand slide around to Kurt's back, pressing them closer together, and he could feel Kurt's fingers strengthen in his hair on the back of his head. As Kurt slipped his tongue into Blaine's mouth and started his dance around Blaine's he pressed his crotch closer to Blaine's, unmistakeably on purpose with the way he felt as their red polyester pants rubbed against each other.

Kurt pushed Blaine with his shoulders, making Blaine tilt over to lie on his back and before he knew it Kurt was between his legs, grinding his pelvis against Blaine's. It really wasn't what Blaine had expected, but he was headed straight for painful erection as he let the tips of his fingers slide down the waistband of Kurt's pants at the lower of his back. To his satisfaction Kurt was rock hard as well, a lovely feature to the uniform – it was impossible for either of them to hide a boner when they were grinding like this.

With a smile Kurt sucked Blaine's lower lip into his mouth before he released it and started kissing down his neck. It only took a moment before Kurt was sucking onto his neck with his hand running under Blaine's shirt, up his chest and a thumb rolling over his nipple.

"Fuck... Kurt. God!" Blaine groaned, his hands running down Kurt's boxers to take a firm grip of his cheeks that made Kurt suck a little harder on his neck.

"Wanna get naked?" Kurt smirked, licking up the shell of Blaine's ear.

With that Blaine let his hands back out of Kurt's pants. He grabbed around Kurt's ribs and made him move a little away so they could make eye contact.

"Are you sure? Because... I really meant what I said. I am not just here to get laid. I'm here because I care about you and I respect you. I'm here because I... love you," Blaine mumbled, not wanting Kurt to do anything he wasn't ready for. He didn't want their relationship to start off with misunderstandings.

"I know. I know, baby. I've just missed you so much," Kurt said calmly.

Blaine's heart jumped. Kurt had never called him 'baby' before. It hadn't exactly fit the nature of their previous relations. But now that Kurt said it, soft and caring, Blaine felt like he was melting on the inside. It felt really good to have Kurt be so sweet and caring around him, rather than demanding and bossy like he used to be.

"But it's fine. We don't have to if you don't want anything. I just... you just feel so good," Kurt smiled, and Blaine could feel his cock twitch in his own underwear. Never in his life had he thought that he would actually be able to say no to Kurt.

"I want you. I want you so bad, Kurt. I just want you to be comfortable," Blaine assured him and stroke his hands up and down Kurt's back for a moment.

"I am comfortable with you, silly. And I am comfortable with you being naked in my bed," Kurt chuckled and leaned down to kiss the tip of Blaine's nose. He tweaked Blaine's nipple between two fingers and had Blaine's hips buck upwards so both of them grinned.

"Wouldn't it be a waste to ditch Cheerios practice and have the house to ourselves if we still kept our uniforms on?" Kurt teased and let his fingers chastely caress over Blaine's chest.

"You're right. That would be an awful waste," Blaine chuckled in response and grabbed Kurt's neck to pull him down for a playful kiss.

It didn't take long before they were giggling while pulling each other's clothes off. Lips were sliding over skin, and teeth were clasping together with the rush of getting completely naked. Within moments Blaine was on top of Kurt between his legs, both of them without a thing but the comforter to cover them.

Their mouths were locked and their fingers were entwined next to Kurt's head. Blaine slowly let his fingers slide out of Kurt's and up his arms. He innocently pressed deep kisses to Kurt's wet mouth while he allowed his fingers to stroll their way down Kurt's torso.

Kurt's eyes were locked on Blaine's as Blaine let his fingers continue their journey down his body. He could feel Kurt shiver, and their nipples went stiff in sync. As Blaine's fingers found their way down Kurt's hip he moved to the side, letting Kurt spread his legs further, and Kurt had to swallow a mouthful of air.

It was strange. This wasn't anything new. They had been having crazy, loud, rough sex that would make adults blush – but still this was new. This was intimate and personal. Sweet and caring. No snarky comments, or dirty remarks. This was about them together, rather than two individuals blowing off some steam.

As soon as Blaine had his hand down between Kurt's legs he carefully let it caress its way down between his cheeks. He listened to Kurt's breath hitching as he let a fingertip circle around his rim.

He leaned down to let his mouth meet Kurt's as he pushed his finger in. Kurt responded by locking his arms around Blaine's neck, willing him down so their chests clasped together. It was nearly impossible to move his finger from the angle, but the way Kurt's breathing sped up he was determined to not let go.

His dick was sliding over Kurt's hip and it was excruciating how close he was, but way too far from getting any friction himself. However, the way Kurt was moaning and whining into his mouth made his head spin and another finger slip into his hole.

Kurt's fingers were digging into the skin between Blaine's shoulder blades and his legs slid up the mattress, opening himself more for Blaine to work him open. Blaine did his best to keep his mouth on Kurt's, keep them constantly connected, but it was damn hard to move his hand.

Nonetheless he managed to slip a third finger into Kurt, causing Kurt to bite down on his lower lip with a low growl. Blaine was resting on his forearm next to Kurt's head, so he took the opportunity of gliding his fingers through Kurt's soft locks. With that Kurt opened his eyes and met Blaine's, a sense of trust and affection filling his face in a way that turned Blaine's insides to warm mush.

It was too hard. There was no way he could wait any longer. Blaine sucked Kurt's mouth close to a deep kiss, before he carefully slipped his fingers out to the sound of a soft cry from Kurt. It only took him a second to have a condom out, stroke his cock a few times and slip the rubber on while Kurt strolled his fingertips up and down Blaine's arm. With a soft smile down at Kurt he grabbed his cock and lined up, pressing deeper.

"You ready?" He asked lowly and let his fingers back into Kurt's hair.

"I'm always... ready... for you," Kurt stammered and let his one hand cradle the back of Blaine's head to pull him down for a kiss.

As Kurt let his legs slide up to lock his ankles at the top of Blaine's ass Blaine carefully started to push himself inside. It was like he couldn't breathe. Kurt was hot and slick inside, but he was oh so tight, which was good but it had Blaine's brain spin in circles.

It took a slow moment before Blaine was actually able to bottom out,but once he did he allowed both of his arms to valley around Kurt, showering him in kisses. He allowed his knees to slip a little further apart, making it easier for him to move.

Slowly Blaine started to roll his hips, smoothly moving his dick in and out of Kurt's entrance. His heavy moans mixed with Kurt's to an orchestra of breathing, the sounds and vibrations running under his skin in time with Kurt's tongue sliding around his own.

Sweat was spreading over Blaine's back and he could feel the roll of his hips in the muscles on his ass. Kurt's hole was clenching to him, and the sheets and mattress were moving with their actions. It was surreal and intimate. The way they had fucked had always been rough and hard, heading for release with not thought for the closeness of their situation. The contrast to the current feeling was sharp and Blaine couldn't stop the grin filling his face as he allowed his eyes to meet Kurt's, and a thumb brush a lock of sweaty hair away from Kurt's eyebrow.

"You're beautiful," he panted, angling his hips to hit deeper.

"Fuck, Blaine... so good," Kurt smiled, his cheeks scarlet and his lips full and red.

The words went straight to his crotch. Kurt had never said his name in bed and he had never thought it could matter much. But when he heard Kurt moan his name with an affectionate smile and his hands sliding down Blaine's arm with caress it felt like it was all Blaine had ever needed. It was so hot and sweet at the same time, and he needed more.

Gradually he let the movements of his hips speed up. He made sure to rub over that sensitive spot inside of Kurt that always had him writhing, and today was no exception. Kurt gave a sore whimper and clutched his fingers around a handful of Blaine's hair. He arched his back to help Blaine hit the right spot and started kissing down Blaine's neck.

The room started spinning and Blaine turned his head to bury it in Kurt's hair. With a hand he found his way down Kurt's arm and down to his hip. His palm traveled up Kurt's thigh and found home at the tendon of his knee where Blaine allowed his thumb to brush over the soft skin he found there.

With a few more rolls of his hips he knew that he was close as his stomach was rolling and turning more than the sheets around them. It was like a storm in boiling water had started and his skin was stretching out over his muscles and bones and nerves. Nerves that were screaming.

Almost like he had been zapped Kurt's right hand flew to Blaine's hip where he pressed Blaine down as hard as he could. No need to mention why, Blaine could feel Kurt's cock twitching as it was rubbed between their sweaty stomachs, massaged by the friction of their abdomens.

"Mhmm, Blaine... Blaine," Kurt whimpered shrilly into his ear as he pressed his cock harder against Blaine's stomach. His hole squeezed and it was the last second before Kurt's entire body tensed and he was shooting all over their torso.

Blaine was so close, he couldn't stop now. With every move of his rolling hips Kurt's semen spread between them was smeared even more around their heaving chests, but Blaine just locked his hands around Kurt's shoulders and pushed himself deeper and harder into Kurt's body, knowing that if he didn't come soon Kurt would be too sensitive.

"Kurt... yessss – Kurt. So good. So perfect," Blaine blabbered out as the volcano inside of him exploded and he was caught between moving to chase the ecstasy or letting go because his muscles were locked.

Yet, Kurt let his hand slide from Blaine's hip and onto the lower of his back. He caressed him gently and made Blaine rush for the orgasm that was making putting the room in flames around him, but his own body was positively hotter. With stuttering hips and a panting blabber of Kurt's name Blaine shot into the condom, mindblown by how this could even happen.

With a heaving for air Blaine nudged his nose deeper into Kurt's hair. He let both of his arms around Kurt to try and drag him closer, happy when he felt Kurt starting to place sweet kisses on the side of his head. Blaine turned to find Kurt looking at him with a dopey smile and a sated veil covering his face.

"Hey boyfriend," Kurt said lazily, making Blaine chuckle in return.

"Hi boyfriend," he smiled back and nuzzled his nose against Kurt's.

"Boyfriend sex is better than regular sex," Blaine said, and watch shy spark spread in Kurt's eyes, and his dimples seeming like they were filling his entire face.

"No. Boyfriend sex with you is the best sex," Kurt corrected him and caressed his thumb over Blaine's back where his palm was still resting. His ankles had unlocked and his legs had slid down to go limp on each side of Blaine's body.

"I like that version better," Blaine agreed and pressed a dozy kiss to Kurt's mouth.

"Would you maybe, like... get off me, so we can cuddle?" Kurt asked and let his hand slip from the back of Blaine's hair down to his neck.

With a smile Blaine nodded and carefully sat up. He closed his hand softly around the root of his spent cock and let himself slide out of Kurt's entrance, rushing to tie the condom up. He got out of the bed and went to Kurt's bathroom to let the condom into the trash. He washed himself off and returned to the bedroom.

He climbed onto the bed, straddling Kurt and leaned down to clean off his soiled chest with a damp washcloth, the gesture making Kurt blush and smile affectionately up at Blaine.

They curled up under Kurt's comforter, their arms around each other and hazy kisses exchanged whenever it was too impossible for them to not. Blaine caressed every inch of Kurt's body that he could reach from his position, and butterflies were dancing around inside of him, filling him with happiness and pride that he was actually allowed to call Kurt his boyfriend.

"I haven't been with anyone but you either. Not after we met," Kurt told in a whisper.

"There was a guy. We made out. But I felt guilty. I would rather be with you. It's months ago. I couldn't go through with it, so I left the party we were at. And then I... went home to think about you," Kurt told.

He sounded ashamed. Like he actually didn't want Blaine to know, but he felt like he had to tell him. The thought made Blaine's temples throb – the thought of another guy kissing and touching Kurt. But that Kurt had turned other guys down for him evened out the throbbing in his temples and sent it to his heart instead.

"I love you," Blaine smiled and caressed his fingers over Kurt's ribs.

"I love you, too," Kurt smiled with a sigh and pressed his loose, naked body close to Blaine's.


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everytime you read this by the end you are in tears, its smut based but really beautiful