How To Christen Your New Apartment

By Klainer0801

Prompt by Anon

“Blaine, are you done dicing the onions yet honey?” Kurt sighed from his position over the saucepan.

After receiving no reply, Kurt glanced over his shoulder to see Blaine with his tongue between his teeth, desperately trying to cut the onions without cutting his own fingers. “Sorry, I’m – I’m nearly done.”

“Baby, you’re going to chop your hand off in a minute! Here.” Kurt said, hugging Blaine from behind and taking his hands in his own. Blaine began to dice the onions perfectly due to guidance from Kurt and within a minute they were finished. Kurt gave Blaine a quick peck to the cheek before going to watch over the saucepan again.

Laughing to himself, Blaine brought over the tray of onions and helped Kurt push them into the pan, “I never could get the hang of that.”

“Hey, you’re living with me now. You’ll learn from the master himself!” Kurt replied with a smirk. A short silence rung out before Kurt looked over to see Blaine staring at him with eyes as big as the moon. “What?”

“Sorry, I just can’t believe we’re actually living together finally… I love you so much.”

Kurt tilted his head to the side and smiled lovingly at his boyfriend, forgetting about the cooking altogether. “I love you too… and-“ He placed his hands on Blaine’s waist and brought him in close, right until their foreheads were pressing together,”I know… It’s amazing. I’ve got a beautiful apartment, a beautiful boyfriend and a beautiful career. What more could a man need?”

“We sure do have everything don’t we” Blaine said before his gaze wondered to the left and his eyes grew wide, “But we may lose our apartment soon if you don’t turn your attention back to that saucepan.”

Kurt threw his arms up in panic and quickly picked up the pan, which was starting to smoke. Grabbing the mince, he chucked it all in to avoid a fire. “You are just too distracting. What am I gonna do with this now?! It usually turns out as such a nice meal!”

“I’m sure it’ll be lovely just the same with you cooking it.” Blaine demurred as he leant back against the counter.

Kurt shrugged and he felt his face turning a deep red colour, “Shussh you! Throw me those tomatoes will you?”

Blaine sniggered to himself, “Throw you?”

“Yes Blaine! The tomatoes, quickly or else this is all going to be burnt!” Kurt said, getting more panicked by the second.

Blaine opened the cupboard and retrieved a fresh can of tomatoes. He opened the lid slowly, a scheming smile growing on his face.

Kurt turned quickly; about to shout at Blaine to hurry up, when a whole can of tomatoes was chucked over his head. Kurt stood there in shock for a few minutes. He wiped the tomato juice from his eyes to see Blaine in front of him, an empty can in one hand and his other hand covering his face as he tried to hold in his laughter.

“BLAINE! I can’t believe you!! This hairstyle took hours to do!” Kurt shouted, scanning around the kitchen for his weapon of revenge. He spotted a bag of flour in the still open cupboard. He turned off the cooker, reached up into the cupboard and ripped open the bag, taking Blaine by surprise as the flour fell over his head.

“Oh this is war!!” Blaine laughed out, lunging for his boyfriend. Kurt screamed playfully and tried to push his boyfriend away but Blaine was too strong and held Kurt against the counter. Kurt opened his eyes to see Blaine lay over him with a full bottle of mayonnaise.

“Don’t you dare! I will kill you!” Kurt warned, not being able to hold back his smile. Obviously, Blaine ignored Kurt’s request and shot the sauce all over Kurt’s t-shirt.

“Haha I win!” Blaine screamed in victory. Kurt took the opportunity to push Blaine off him and dive for the fridge. He pulled out three eggs and aimed at Blaine who was curled against the countertop.

Blaine’s face dropped as he saw his boyfriend and realised his plan, “No… please Kurt! NO!” He automatically scrunched his face up in anticipation and let out a small whimper as one egg collided with his side. “Eurggghh!”

Another egg was thrown and Blaine pleaded for Kurt to stop through his laughter. Kurt ran up and held Blaine against him with one hand to the small of his back. Blaine sighed in relief thinking the assault was over. He closed his eyes and kissed Kurt softly on the lips, only to pull back in surprise as another egg was cracked right over his head.

Blaine mouthed aimlessly at Kurt who was squealing in delight at the sight. Blaine dived past Kurt and picked up the sugar from the side, spraying it over Kurt’s face. Kurt fumbled around trying to run away but slipped on egg yolk which was now glazing the floor.

Blaine caught Kurt under his arms but it was too late and they both came crashing down to the floor in fits of laughter. Kurt wiped away the joyful tears falling down his face and brought his other hand across to whack Blaine in the stomach playfully.

Blaine made a noise of protest and giggled as he hit Kurt back. They lay on the floor together, breathless for a minute, before Kurt pulled himself up and lay down on top of Blaine.

“You’re so beautiful, even like this.” Blaine whispered, pushing a strand of Kurt’s hair of his face and back into place. They stared into each other’s eyes, smiling slightly, neither one wanting to ever move again.

It was Kurt who broke the silence by cupping Blaine’s face and kissing his passionately. He broke away, starting to laugh again. Blaine brought his hands up to Kurt’s waist and hugged him closer.

Kurt snuggled into Blaine’s neck, “I can’t believe we’re just lay here like this! We’ve been in the apartment what… a day? And look at the state of it already!”

Blaine pressed his lips to Kurt’s temple and began to run circles into his back with his fingers, “Yeah, crazy right? But we’ve christened it as our home now!”

“True! But you do realise how much cleaning we’re going to be doing now?!”

Blaine brought Kurt up to look him in the eyes and pressed a finger to his lips to silence him, “How about instead… we go take a shower, order a takeaway and snuggle in our PJs on the sofa. I’ll let you pick the film.”

“Sounds good to me. I guess cooking our own meal did turn out to be a bit of a disaster after all! I suppose the cleaning can wait until the morning…”

Blaine stood up slowly and helped Kurt to his feet, entangling their fingers as they held hands. He tugged Kurt slightly and they made their way through the hall towards the bathroom, “Yes it can! Come on, let’s clean ourselves up before we do anything else.”

“This day has been pretty perfect hasn’t it?” Kurt asked as they reached the bathroom door.

Blaine smirked and pushed Kurt inside closing the door behind them, “It certainly has, baby.”