Jbkjnf
Sept. 21, 2012, 8:10 p.m.
No One's Home
After a year and half, Blaine finally returns home, but this time no one is there. *TRIGGER WARNING : mention of suicide*
T - Words: 1,127 - Last Updated: Sep 21, 2012 1,138 0 0 1 Categories: Angst, Tragedy, Characters: Blaine Anderson, Kurt Hummel, Tags: character death, OMG CREYS, hurt/comfort,
Author's Notes: Author's Note:Um. I'm not really sure what this is... I just... I'm not really sure. So... have at it.*TRIGGER WARNING* Suicide mentioned.Disclaimer: I own nothing.
No One's Home
The familiar squeak from opening the front door should have been the thing that should have made him stop. It should have made him turn back around and leave this apartment to never return again. But this was the last time he could ever return because after this weekend it would be gone. Everything inside would be gone. Every memory would be thrown under a fresh new layer of paint and then sold to anyone who decided to buy it.
The memories that flowed back inside his mind pained his heart like nothing before.
What was he doing? Why was he here? Why is he back?
He inhaled sharply as the door clicked closed silently behind him. His hazel eyes shifted over the cold lonely apartment. Strangely enough, it looked the same as it did when he left a year and a half ago. The backpack that was stuffed with items to stay overnight slid off his shoulder to a loud thud on the wood floor below his feet.
With a final deep breath he began to make his way to the bedroom. He came here with a purpose. His dirty converse squeaking on the floor was the only sound in the whole apartment. He was here on a mission. His left hand gripped tightly to the envelope that was placed in it. So tightly as if he thought it would try and jump from his hand and run away. It was the only thing he had left. His last remaining connection.
His mind retrieved the memory of the day he got the letter. It was a horrible day to being with and only got worse. He had gotten home late and by the time he got to read the letter and do something about it, it was already too late. He was the one who found him.
When he made it to the bedroom, he could have broken down right then and there. It was all too much. All this- this pain…
He kneeled down next to the bed and dug underneath. He searched for the shoe box that was written about in the letter. And there is was. Exactly where it was supposed to be. That is when the tears began to fall.
It can't be true. None of this.
He reopened the letter and read it once more. Still hoping that is was all a dream.
Dearest Blaine,
I know that I am probably the last person that you would want to talk to. I mean, since we haven't talked since you left. Anyway that doesn't really matter. That's not the point of why I am writing this letter.
I'm not too positive what this, this letter would be called. I just feel like if there is any one I should say goodbye to, it should be you.
God, Blaine. You are everything to me. You were my first love, my first kiss… I experience everything with you. And I ruined it. I did some things that were absolutely terrible. I know. That's my fault. I ruined it. I ruined us. I ruin everything.
I want you to know something Blaine. Please, for whatever reason, don't blame yourself. This isn't your fault. Or my fathers. Or anybody's. No one is at fault here. I just can't handle myself anymore. My father's death and all the stupid shit that I have done since then. And then you left. You can't even… I won't… I'm so lonely. No one loves me but I understand. I wouldn't love me either. I am too much of a fuck up. I'm worthless.
I still love you, though. I love you so much. I love you and only ever you. Just you. No one will ever stop me from loving you.
I know you can't forgive me and that's perfectly okay because I don't forgive myself either.
I left a box under my bed. I guessing you still have a key. I don't need people going through that. I can't even go through it. You can burn it. I know you would probably be repulsed by it and that's okay.
God, I love you. God, I hate myself so much. You'll always be in my heart. Even when I'm gone.
Goodbye Blaine
I love you, forever and always.
Kurt
Blaine was sobbing, his vision blurred. His throat was tight and he could hardly breathe. He gasped for breath while opening the lid to the shoe box. The first item he noticed was a small teddy bear. The one that he won for Kurt at the Ohio State fair back in Blaine's senior year of high school about five years ago. He gripped it, holding it close to his chest. He inhaled sharply at the sight of what was beneath the bear.
"Blaine I know I said we shouldn't be that sappy couple like Finn and Rachel. But I have one exception." Kurt spoke through the silence as they walked hand in hand on Lima's only walking trail. No one ever went for a walk. Especially in the late fall. It was too cold, but not when you have you someone you love with you.
"Mm, what is baby?" Blaine hummed kissing the spot below Kurt's ear.
"Let's write letter," Kurt spat out fast. "Love letters. Like how they use to do in back in the old days." There was silence is a few seconds.
"Yeah, that sounds like a great idea. Love letters," Blaine agreed. Kurt just nodded. "Hey Kurt?" Blaine stopped walking and Kurt turned to face him.
"Yeah Blaine?"
"Olive juice," Blaine said. A smile grew on Kurt's face and he let out a giggle.
"I love you too."
Blaine felt any remaining energy he had leave his body. A sharp pain stabbed at his heart.
"Why Kurt…" He whispered to the silence of Kurt's bedroom. He reached for the letters only to find that Kurt had placed ever single letter that Blaine had sent to him. His fingers shook as he held them. They wrote letters to each other until they broke up, until Blaine had left. There were so many. He didn't even realize that Kurt had saved them. It's strange because Blaine saved all of his too.
What was remaining in the box is what made is heart break completely. Pictures. Every single the pictures of them together. All of their memories confined in one box. He didn't even know there was this many.
"Why Kurt…" Blaine sobbed, his tears falling all over the letters and pictures. "Why did you do this? Why the fuck did you make me find you?! Why did you go away? Why did you leave…? I'm so sorry. I'm so fucking sorry. I-I- still lo-love you… I was going to tell you. I was going to fucking love you again one day. I forgave you. I was going to come back. I just need time… I-I- fuck… I fucking forgave you…"
The familiar squeak from opening the front door should have been the thing that should have made him stop. It should have made him turn back around and leave this apartment to never return again. But this was the last time he could ever return because after this weekend it would be gone. Everything inside would be gone. Every memory would be thrown under a fresh new layer of paint and then sold to anyone who decided to buy it.
The memories that flowed back inside his mind pained his heart like nothing before.
What was he doing? Why was he here? Why is he back?
He inhaled sharply as the door clicked closed silently behind him. His hazel eyes shifted over the cold lonely apartment. Strangely enough, it looked the same as it did when he left a year and a half ago. The backpack that was stuffed with items to stay overnight slid off his shoulder to a loud thud on the wood floor below his feet.
With a final deep breath he began to make his way to the bedroom. He came here with a purpose. His dirty converse squeaking on the floor was the only sound in the whole apartment. He was here on a mission. His left hand gripped tightly to the envelope that was placed in it. So tightly as if he thought it would try and jump from his hand and run away. It was the only thing he had left. His last remaining connection.
His mind retrieved the memory of the day he got the letter. It was a horrible day to being with and only got worse. He had gotten home late and by the time he got to read the letter and do something about it, it was already too late. He was the one who found him.
When he made it to the bedroom, he could have broken down right then and there. It was all too much. All this- this pain…
He kneeled down next to the bed and dug underneath. He searched for the shoe box that was written about in the letter. And there is was. Exactly where it was supposed to be. That is when the tears began to fall.
It can't be true. None of this.
He reopened the letter and read it once more. Still hoping that is was all a dream.
Dearest Blaine,
I know that I am probably the last person that you would want to talk to. I mean, since we haven't talked since you left. Anyway that doesn't really matter. That's not the point of why I am writing this letter.
I'm not too positive what this, this letter would be called. I just feel like if there is any one I should say goodbye to, it should be you.
God, Blaine. You are everything to me. You were my first love, my first kiss… I experience everything with you. And I ruined it. I did some things that were absolutely terrible. I know. That's my fault. I ruined it. I ruined us. I ruin everything.
I want you to know something Blaine. Please, for whatever reason, don't blame yourself. This isn't your fault. Or my fathers. Or anybody's. No one is at fault here. I just can't handle myself anymore. My father's death and all the stupid shit that I have done since then. And then you left. You can't even… I won't… I'm so lonely. No one loves me but I understand. I wouldn't love me either. I am too much of a fuck up. I'm worthless.
I still love you, though. I love you so much. I love you and only ever you. Just you. No one will ever stop me from loving you.
I know you can't forgive me and that's perfectly okay because I don't forgive myself either.
I left a box under my bed. I guessing you still have a key. I don't need people going through that. I can't even go through it. You can burn it. I know you would probably be repulsed by it and that's okay.
God, I love you. God, I hate myself so much. You'll always be in my heart. Even when I'm gone.
Goodbye Blaine
I love you, forever and always.
Kurt
Blaine was sobbing, his vision blurred. His throat was tight and he could hardly breathe. He gasped for breath while opening the lid to the shoe box. The first item he noticed was a small teddy bear. The one that he won for Kurt at the Ohio State fair back in Blaine's senior year of high school about five years ago. He gripped it, holding it close to his chest. He inhaled sharply at the sight of what was beneath the bear.
"Blaine I know I said we shouldn't be that sappy couple like Finn and Rachel. But I have one exception." Kurt spoke through the silence as they walked hand in hand on Lima's only walking trail. No one ever went for a walk. Especially in the late fall. It was too cold, but not when you have you someone you love with you.
"Mm, what is baby?" Blaine hummed kissing the spot below Kurt's ear.
"Let's write letter," Kurt spat out fast. "Love letters. Like how they use to do in back in the old days." There was silence is a few seconds.
"Yeah, that sounds like a great idea. Love letters," Blaine agreed. Kurt just nodded. "Hey Kurt?" Blaine stopped walking and Kurt turned to face him.
"Yeah Blaine?"
"Olive juice," Blaine said. A smile grew on Kurt's face and he let out a giggle.
"I love you too."
Blaine felt any remaining energy he had leave his body. A sharp pain stabbed at his heart.
"Why Kurt…" He whispered to the silence of Kurt's bedroom. He reached for the letters only to find that Kurt had placed ever single letter that Blaine had sent to him. His fingers shook as he held them. They wrote letters to each other until they broke up, until Blaine had left. There were so many. He didn't even realize that Kurt had saved them. It's strange because Blaine saved all of his too.
What was remaining in the box is what made is heart break completely. Pictures. Every single the pictures of them together. All of their memories confined in one box. He didn't even know there was this many.
"Why Kurt…" Blaine sobbed, his tears falling all over the letters and pictures. "Why did you do this? Why the fuck did you make me find you?! Why did you go away? Why did you leave…? I'm so sorry. I'm so fucking sorry. I-I- still lo-love you… I was going to tell you. I was going to fucking love you again one day. I forgave you. I was going to come back. I just need time… I-I- fuck… I fucking forgave you…"