Itgetsbetter
Dec. 13, 2011, 11:29 a.m.
What Came After
After Kurt dies fom cancer, Blaine arrives home to a package on his bed. The package is from Kurt.
K - Words: 1,310 - Last Updated: Dec 13, 2011 1,456 0 4 3 Categories: Angst, Characters: Blaine Anderson, Kurt Hummel, Tags: character death,
Author's Notes: Reviews/criticism are definitely welcome. And sorry about the italics, it messed up and they won't go away!
He was gone. Kurt was gone and his life was over. His one true love, no his life was dead and there was nothing he could do about it. It was the cancer. When Blaine found out that Kurt's mom had died of cancer he thought nothing of it, but then Kurt was diagnosed with it and his world was turned upside down. Nothing had prepared him for it, there was no feeling in comparison to finding out your loved ones clock was already ticking. Kurt had lasted three months. Three months of sickness, and hospital visits, and chemotherapy, and staying in bed all day. Three months of hoping a cure would be found, of waiting for some sign of improvement, of watching him deteriorate. The worst part for Blaine was watching Kurt lose hope. The night Kurt's hair started falling out was the night Kurt's hope started to go. Blaine had watched as Kurt pulled his trembling hand away from his scalp holding a clump of hair, and had been able to do nothing. That night he held Kurt as he cried and helped him shave the rest off instead of prolonging it. It was the first time Blaine had felt helpless throughout the whole process. On most days he was able to make Kurt keep smiling, distract him from his sickness, but for a week after they shaved his head Kurt barely spoke a word. It was made only worse by the chemotherapy which caused Kurt to be violently sick. He would hold Kurt's trembling shoulders as he vomited and whisper soothingly in his ear until he was finished, and then help him back into bed and cradle him into his chest hoping he would finally be able to get some sleep. This would happen throughout the day and Kurt would grow only weaker still. By the end of the day Blaine had to practically carry Kurt to the bathroom to relieve his angry stomach. When Kurt would finally fall into a fitfull sleep, Blaine would cry as he held him. He would cry because of how unfair it was thatkurt had to go through this and he didn't. But now Kurt was gone and he couldn't cry anymore.
Blaine had stayed at the hospital for four days after Kurt had died, and then stayed a night at Burt and Caroles butnow he was finally returning home. Blaine turned the lock in his now empty apartment in complete silence. How he was supposed to live here now without Kurt with him he didn't know. Blaine walked slowly through the hall, looking at all the happy pictures of him and Kurt together hanging on the walls and sitting on the side tables. Looking at them put a lump in his throat so he moved past them and pushed open the door to their, now his, bedroom. Sitting On his bed was a wrapped package, slender and long with a decorative bow on top. There was a card next to it and Blaine's breathe caught in his throat. It was Kurt's handwriting. Blaine walked up to the card and picked it up with a trembling hand. He stared at it, taking in Kurt's handwriting, eyes full with unshed tears. He flipped it over with a unsteady hand and stuck his thumb under the flap. It tore open with a quiet rip and Blaine pulled out the card inside. It was a simple black card with three words in white cursive on top: I love you. Blaine sucked in a shuddery breathe and opened the card. A piece of folded notebook paper fell into his hand and Blaine unfolded it with baited breathe.
Dear Blaine,
If you're reading this, it means I'm probably gone. But I needed to get this down in words. You are the greatest thing to have ever happened to me. The day I stopped you on that staircase, I was so close to just giving up. But you... you saved me. You showed me that there was still some good in the world and that there's always hope. When ever i'm with you, it's like the sun is always shining. There's not a dark moment. When im with you I feel free. I still remember our first kiss. I still remember the first time we went on an actual date. I still remember the first time we made love, and it's one of the greatest memories I have. My favorite memory though, is really just a silly one. You know that time you decided it would be cool to try to fly kites on top of that giant hill by Dalton? And it turned out that it was private property and we were chased off with our kites dangling in the sky behind us as we ran for our lives laughing our asses off? Yeah, that's my favorite memory. I really wish we had time to make more memories Blaine. I wish we had had a whole lifetime to fill our brains with memories of, but I guess that's just not how life works. I love you, Blaine Hummel-Anderson. Always and forever. Not even death can part us, I promise.
With so, so much love,
Kurt.
Blaine didn't realize he was crying until a tear dropped onto the letter and created a dark splotch. He sat the card on the bed and turned to the package. He pulled off the bow and proceeded to rip the wrapping paper off. When he saw what was inside he let out a sob. It was a recordable story book. Blaine turned the cover open and looked blankly at the title page. It read "To Blaine, my one and only." flipping to the next page, the recording started. It was Kurt, talking in his beautiful sing-song voice. Hello, Blaine. I know that you probably thought that after I was gone you would never hear my voice again. But i wanted to make sure that never happened. If you open the closet, you'll find that it is full of CD's. Sometimes when my father took me to chemotherapy, we would make a little detour and pick up some things. I know it sounds selfish, but I didnt want you to forget about me. Don't get me wrong, I do want you to move on Blaine, but i also wanted to make sure I was remembered. So if you're ever feeling lonely, or just need me... Just listen to the CD's. I love you.
Blaine was openly sobbing as he put down the book and walked to the closet. He opened the door and flicked on the light. The entire closet floor was full of CD's. Blaine bent over and picked one up, noticing only a simple " love, Kurt" on the cover. All of them were adorned the same. He walked out of the closet to his bedroom and popped the cd in the player. The second he pushed play, Kurt's beautiful voice was singing to him.
Every year on the anniversary of Kurt's death, Blaine would visit Kurt's grave and arrive home to a new cd on his porch. And every year, he hoped they didn't stop coming. And they didn't stop coming, even when five years later Blaine finally decided to try again and did. They didn't stop coming even when Blaine's new boyfriend Ian moved in with him two years after that. They didn't even stop coming when Blaine got married. The year they did stop coming was the year Blaine couldn't listen, for he too was gone, and Ian found the CD on the porch steps. He had heard about Kurt but Blaine had never let him listen to the CDs. So that day, Ian took the CD inside and placed it in the player. And for everyday after, Ian then believed in angels.
Blaine had stayed at the hospital for four days after Kurt had died, and then stayed a night at Burt and Caroles butnow he was finally returning home. Blaine turned the lock in his now empty apartment in complete silence. How he was supposed to live here now without Kurt with him he didn't know. Blaine walked slowly through the hall, looking at all the happy pictures of him and Kurt together hanging on the walls and sitting on the side tables. Looking at them put a lump in his throat so he moved past them and pushed open the door to their, now his, bedroom. Sitting On his bed was a wrapped package, slender and long with a decorative bow on top. There was a card next to it and Blaine's breathe caught in his throat. It was Kurt's handwriting. Blaine walked up to the card and picked it up with a trembling hand. He stared at it, taking in Kurt's handwriting, eyes full with unshed tears. He flipped it over with a unsteady hand and stuck his thumb under the flap. It tore open with a quiet rip and Blaine pulled out the card inside. It was a simple black card with three words in white cursive on top: I love you. Blaine sucked in a shuddery breathe and opened the card. A piece of folded notebook paper fell into his hand and Blaine unfolded it with baited breathe.
Dear Blaine,
If you're reading this, it means I'm probably gone. But I needed to get this down in words. You are the greatest thing to have ever happened to me. The day I stopped you on that staircase, I was so close to just giving up. But you... you saved me. You showed me that there was still some good in the world and that there's always hope. When ever i'm with you, it's like the sun is always shining. There's not a dark moment. When im with you I feel free. I still remember our first kiss. I still remember the first time we went on an actual date. I still remember the first time we made love, and it's one of the greatest memories I have. My favorite memory though, is really just a silly one. You know that time you decided it would be cool to try to fly kites on top of that giant hill by Dalton? And it turned out that it was private property and we were chased off with our kites dangling in the sky behind us as we ran for our lives laughing our asses off? Yeah, that's my favorite memory. I really wish we had time to make more memories Blaine. I wish we had had a whole lifetime to fill our brains with memories of, but I guess that's just not how life works. I love you, Blaine Hummel-Anderson. Always and forever. Not even death can part us, I promise.
With so, so much love,
Kurt.
Blaine didn't realize he was crying until a tear dropped onto the letter and created a dark splotch. He sat the card on the bed and turned to the package. He pulled off the bow and proceeded to rip the wrapping paper off. When he saw what was inside he let out a sob. It was a recordable story book. Blaine turned the cover open and looked blankly at the title page. It read "To Blaine, my one and only." flipping to the next page, the recording started. It was Kurt, talking in his beautiful sing-song voice. Hello, Blaine. I know that you probably thought that after I was gone you would never hear my voice again. But i wanted to make sure that never happened. If you open the closet, you'll find that it is full of CD's. Sometimes when my father took me to chemotherapy, we would make a little detour and pick up some things. I know it sounds selfish, but I didnt want you to forget about me. Don't get me wrong, I do want you to move on Blaine, but i also wanted to make sure I was remembered. So if you're ever feeling lonely, or just need me... Just listen to the CD's. I love you.
Blaine was openly sobbing as he put down the book and walked to the closet. He opened the door and flicked on the light. The entire closet floor was full of CD's. Blaine bent over and picked one up, noticing only a simple " love, Kurt" on the cover. All of them were adorned the same. He walked out of the closet to his bedroom and popped the cd in the player. The second he pushed play, Kurt's beautiful voice was singing to him.
Every year on the anniversary of Kurt's death, Blaine would visit Kurt's grave and arrive home to a new cd on his porch. And every year, he hoped they didn't stop coming. And they didn't stop coming, even when five years later Blaine finally decided to try again and did. They didn't stop coming even when Blaine's new boyfriend Ian moved in with him two years after that. They didn't even stop coming when Blaine got married. The year they did stop coming was the year Blaine couldn't listen, for he too was gone, and Ian found the CD on the porch steps. He had heard about Kurt but Blaine had never let him listen to the CDs. So that day, Ian took the CD inside and placed it in the player. And for everyday after, Ian then believed in angels.
End Notes: Thanks for reading, it was something I needed off my chest!
Comments
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This was so very beautiful, I'm actually crying.
I'm sobbing, that was beautiful.
So beautiful. I'm bawling. You, my love are INCREDIBLE.
The tears will not stop. You are an amazing writer, this story was beautiful.