Feb. 17, 2012, 11:09 a.m.
On Sight
Blaine can, with one eye or two, identify the moods of Kurt Hummel on sight."Heart" post-ep ficlet.
K - Words: 2,983 - Last Updated: Feb 17, 2012 1,052 0 0 5 Categories: Angst, Characters: Blaine Anderson, Burt Hummel, Kurt Hummel, Tags: hurt/comfort,
Even when he had one eye Blaine was still very much aware of Kurt.
In truth he had been for a very long time. He found that he couldn't keep his eye(s) off Kurt whenever he was in the room and as such over the last year and a bit as his friend, and eleven months as his boyfriend, Blaine had built up quite a mental bank of the looks and moods of Kurt Hummel.
Blaine could identify, on sight, whether Kurt had gotten an absolute bargain online; if his dad wasn't sticking to his diet plan or was getting overly stressed; or if Kurt was worried about something.
He'd seen a lot of that look recently. The ambulance ride to the hospital. Waiting by his side until his parents arrived. Every time he came over and especially the night before the surgery.
The look also went further back, as far back as Blaine's memories of Kurt went, so it was one Blaine knew well.
As Puck picked up where the group number left off, Blaine's hand found Kurt's and he pulled on it gently, indicating that he should follow. They kicked their way out of the balloons, through the dancing crowds to the door and out into the chill air.
"What is it?" Blaine asked quietly, pulling Kurt in close to ward off the cold.
"Hmmm?" Kurt hummed, slipping his arms around Blaine's neck to hold their bodies together.
"Kurt."
"Just... give me a minute?" he whispered. As he felt Blaine's arms tighten around his waist he buried his face in the crook of his boyfriend's neck, breathing in deeply. "I missed you."
"You saw me every day."
"I missed this."
"Kurt..."
"In a minute."
"Kurt, what..."
"This is the best thing, OK? I want you to remember this. You, surprising me, turning up like this... The best thing."
"So what wasn't?"
Kurt pulled back enough to rest his forehead on Blaine's. "All week I've been getting these cards and presents. Valentine's stuff. And I thought..."
"Who?" Blaine whispered.
"The last one asked me to meet them here. Meet you here, I thought. He turned up in a gorilla suit with candies and a card which said, 'I think I love you'."
"Think?" Blaine laughed softly.
"Yeah. That was when I knew."
"Who?" Blaine asked, his voice quiet and unchallenging.
"Karofsky."
Kurt waited for the reaction, for Blaine to snap back in shock or anger or something. For him to tense under his hold and for the mood to shift between them. Instead Kurt only felt Blaine's arms tighten around him.
"Are you OK?" Blaine asked.
"I..." Kurt started but then he realised that it was OK not to be, that he was allowed to let his guard down. Blaine had pulled him back into the hug before he had a chance to start crying.
"Finn? I thought you were stayin' at Rachel's?"
"I can't..." Kurt said quietly, shooting a panicked look at Blaine.
"Go up, I'll be as quick as I can," Blaine soothed, letting Kurt dart off up the stairs while he headed through to the living room. "Just us, Mr Hummel."
"Burt," he corrected, "and it's early. Everything OK?"
"...No," Blaine admitted.
"Kurt? He OK?"
"He will be," Blaine said but Burt was already out of his seat. "He'll be fine," Blaine repeated. "He just..."
"Doesn't want to see me?" Burt finished. "That happens for two reasons. He's been cryin' or he's hurtin' bad. Which is it?"
Blaine bit his bottom lip. Kurt had made it quite clear that he didn't want his dad to know, not yet. "Both," he ventured, "but I can't... He doesn't... Not yet, anyway. He needs some time."
"Answer me this then," Burt said. "He talkin' to you about it?"
"Yes, sir."
"Burt. He tellin' you everything?"
"Yes, si... Burt."
"Do I need to be worried?"
Blaine thought about this for a few seconds before shrugging. "You're his dad, you can't help but be worried."
Burt laughed softly at Blaine's observation. "You worried?" he asked.
"Yeah," he admitted. "But not about what happened. It's how Kurt feels about it."
"He upstairs? Waitin' for you?" When Blaine nodded Burt sighed. "Go on. And... don't worry about the door, OK?"
"Thanks Burt," Blaine said without hesitation. "He will be fine, you know? And he will talk to you about it. I'll make sure of it."
"Thanks, kid."
"What did he say?" Kurt asked as Blaine walked into his room, pushing the door shut behind him.
Blaine gestured to the closed door behind him and smiled. "He's worried though."
"Tomorrow. I'll talk to him tomorrow."
"I know."
"I just... can't tonight."
"It's OK," Blaine said. He toed off his shoes and dropped his phone on the desk before joining Kurt on the bed. "We don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."
"Of course I want..." Kurt said quickly, his hands reaching out to grab Blaine's face and pull him in closer. "From the moment he pulled off that mask I wanted you to be there, to talk to you about it, to... I need to talk to you about it."
"OK," Blaine said, shuffling up the bed so he was sat up against the headboard. Kurt moved up with him, curling into his side. "I promise to listen and keep any murderous rages to myself."
"He's just... lost," Kurt settled on. "He's coming to terms with who he is and he needs someone he can share that with. We know what it's like, coming out to ourselves first. It's lonely, scary... I think he just wants someone to be with so he's not on his own anymore."
"Like you with Finn?" Blaine said.
"Like me with Finn," Kurt repeated. "And I thought you were going to listen?" he mocked gently.
"Sorry. Please continue."
"I just felt sorry for him."
"Which is why you were crying on my shoulder at Breadstix?"
"How's that listening going?" Kurt mocked gently.
"I'm sorry, but... Why? Why would you feel sorry for him? He made your life hell, Kurt."
"Blaine..."
"How would you feel if I started hanging out with Sebastian?"
"That's different..."
"How?"
"So you weren't scared when you first realised you were 'different'?"
"I never assaulted anyone," Blaine replied. "I have always loved your heart, your compassion, but this..."
"He looked so lost..."
"You were scared tonight, Kurt. You were hurting and you were scared and you know this affected you."
"I don't want him to have this... hold on me," Kurt said eventually. "And I was OK when we were talking, I was. Thought my heart was going to burst out of my chest at several points, especially when he took my hand..."
Blaine couldn't help but tense at this.
"...but it was... I don't know how to describe it, Blaine. I don't. Just over a year ago the idea of being in the same room as him made my skin crawl. Then I just felt sorry for him. Now..."
"What happened?"
"He wanted us to be together, me and him. I said I was with you and that I cared about him as a friend... What?" Kurt snapped when he felt Blaine tense underneath him.
"You care about him?"
"Not like that," Kurt said, sitting up so he could look at Blaine properly.
"I know," Blaine soothed, "but... The three guys who put me in hospital, you think I care about them?"
"That was different," Kurt said, his hand drifting unconsciously to Blaine's side where he knew there was a faint scar from that night. "This is... He's angry, Blaine. He's angry and he's scared and he lashed out. People do, we know that. Finn's done it more than once, to both of us..."
"Now that was different," Blaine replied. "Finn's a decent guy."
"And who's to say Karofsky isn't?" Kurt replied. "All we have ever seen is one side of him. For the most part. You didn't see him when he was in tears apologising to me. You didn't talk to him that night at Scandals. And you didn't see him tonight. I have to believe that he's a decent guy at heart because..."
"Because what?" Blaine asked, his hand moving to the small of Kurt's back. "Because otherwise this is your first experience of real hate," he realised. "Not fear, not anger, but actual hate."
"What happened to you..." Kurt said in a quiet voice.
"Happened a long time ago, miles from here, and it's in the past."
"But it's not," Kurt pointed out. "I see it in you sometimes."
"Like when?"
"Like tonight. Your reaction to what happened. How you feel about him, what you're scared might happen..."
"Kurt..."
"What happened to me wasn't great, but what happened to you was worse..."
"I was beaten up," Blaine cut across. "You were assaulted. There's a world of difference between the two. You can't say one is worse than the other. It's all wrong."
"I can't explain why I feel this way," Kurt said. "When I thought it was all from you I was so happy, so excited. And when it wasn't I was disappointed and... worried. I didn't know what he was going to do and I knew we were in public but I wouldn't always be and I had all these thoughts in my head about how he'd gotten into the school and how he knew where I lived, where I worked, where I get my coffee and..."
Blaine's hands were strong on his body, pulling him back down and holding him tightly as the last of the air left his lungs in a rush.
"I went in thinking the worst and then he blindsided me and I don't know what to think," Kurt finished, mumbling into Blaine's chest.
"Do you think he accepted that you two...?"
"Yeah. He looked crushed."
"And you felt sorry for him?"
"I know what it's like," Kurt said quietly. "I had my heart rejected on Valentine's Day too."
Blaine's arms tightened a little more. "I'm sorry."
"For then or tonight?"
"Then. Both? I'm just... sorry."
"None of this is your fault," Kurt sighed, making himself comfortable. "I don't think it's Dave's either. He just needs someone to be there for him, make the world a little less scary. Make it better."
"Do I do that?" Blaine asked. "For you?"
"You make everything better." Kurt's voice was slurring with exhaustion and Blaine shifted down a little so he wasn't propped up uncomfortably against the headboard. Kurt readjusted himself so he was curled into his boyfriend's side, head on his shoulder, arm slung across his waist. "I have never been so pleased to see you as I was tonight," he whispered.
"I wanted to surprise you. Better than a card I thought."
"Much better," Kurt said and Blaine could hear the smile on his face.
Blaine kissed the top of Kurt's head and just held him. "I know I love you," he said quietly.
"Know I love you too," Kurt replied.
Blaine had felt himself drifting off a few times but snapped back into waking when he heard the knock at the bedroom door. A few seconds later it opened, Burt coming in.
"He fell asleep," Blaine said quickly and quietly.
Burt looked at the pair of them, Kurt's long limbs draped over Blaine's body, effectively trapping him there on the bed. Blaine glanced away, feeling very grateful that the only items of clothing they'd removed were their shoes and ties.
"He OK?" Burt asked as he walked across to Kurt's closet.
"Better," Blaine said as he watched Burt pull a blanket down from the shelf. "Thanks," he added when Burt draped it over the pair of them.
"Got you trapped I see," Burt said with a small laugh. "Where's your cell? I'll call your parents."
"There's no need..."
"There's every need. It's nearly midnight, you look exhausted and I'm sure the docs have a few things to say about you driving with that new eye of yours. Cabs are expensive at this hour, you're stayin' put."
"I... thanks," Blaine decided on, nodding with his head towards the desk where he'd put his phone down earlier. "Mom's more likely to answer this time of night," he said.
As Burt picked up the phone he noticed the wastepaper bin in the corner. "Something wrong with the cards?" he asked as he picked up the phone. "Kurt's been gushing over them all week."
"They weren't from me," Blaine said quietly.
"Oh." Burt took a moment, seemingly trying to figure out how to unlock the phone. "So who's your competition?"
"I wouldn't call them that exactly."
"Neither would I," Burt laughed softly.
"Dave Karofsky."
"Karofsky?" Burt said, his voice raising in anger. "This some sort of joke to him?"
"No, no, it's not like that," Blaine said, using his free hand to gesture about turning the volume down so they didn't wake Kurt. "It's... complicated."
"How complicated? He bullies my kid, terrifies him, and now he's sending him creepy Valentine's?"
"He's..." Blaine said, trying to work out how to broach this. "He's gay. He's not come out yet but he's... He is. And he's latched onto Kurt as some kind of saviour."
Burt took a moment to process this, his eyes drifting to Kurt's sleeping form. "And that's why he did all that stuff?"
"We reckon so."
Burt wondered if Blaine realised that the hand which was circled around Kurt's waist wasn't staying still. His fingers gently stroked and drew patterns over the soft cotton shirt, a constant reassuring touch to Kurt that he is still here.
"I want full details in the morning, you got me?" Burt asked, pointing at Blaine with his own phone.
"OK."
"Right, well... Try and get some sleep if you can. And remember, I'm just down the hallway."
Blaine almost laughed at the hidden message. Kurt had fallen asleep quickly and Blaine knew it was because he'd probably not slept well for weeks (which he'd always denied when Blaine questioned the bags under his eyes). Besides, great though that side of their relationship was Blaine had never felt more intimate, more close to Kurt than he did right now. Letting his eyes drift close Blaine wasn't long to follow.
As Kurt stretched out his body he could feel the rustle of denim against his legs and he scrunched up his face in disgust at having fallen asleep in his clothes. As his nose wrinkled he felt the skin move against material that definitely wasn't part of his bedding collection, and more to the point his pillows weren't warm, solid and didn't breathe.
His eyes flew up to confirm what he'd always known; Blaine was asleep beside him.
He turned quickly, seeking out the clock on his bedside table.
"..a'?" Blaine said as he was jolted from his sleep.
"Blaine," Kurt hissed. "We fell asleep. It's nearly four in the morning."
"...'s early..."
"Blaine!"
"It's OK," Blaine muttered, not bothering to open his eyes. "Your dad called my mom. Go back to sleep."
Kurt looked at him for a moment and smiled. "You're staying?"
"Not if you wake me up again I'm not."
Laughing softly, Kurt reached out a hand and gently brushed back some of the wilder locks of his boyfriend's hair before running his fingers down his cheek. Leaning over he kissed his forehead before settling back down under the blanket with him, no longer sleeping on him but curled up into him.
"Love you," he whispered.
"Love you too if you let me sleep," Blaine whispered back before smiling.
Blaine woke to an empty but warm bed and after stretching out a little he headed downstairs in search of his boyfriend and coffee. He found both in the kitchen, along with Burt who was holding Kurt tightly.
"You can always come to me with this stuff, y'know?" Burt said.
"I know, Dad. Just last night I needed..."
"It's fine, really," Burt smiled. He looked up and saw Blaine standing in the doorway. "Sleep alright?"
"Until Kurt woke me in a panic at four I did," he joked.
"I thought we were going to get into trouble," Kurt explained. "I didn't know the sleepover was parental approved."
"I told your mom it was late and you were too tired to head back," Burt explained.
Blaine nodded. "Thanks."
"Least I can do after what you did last night."
"I think it's in the boyfriend job description," Blaine smiled as Kurt handed him a mug of coffee.
"Think I'll take this up to Carole," Burt said, picking up the tea cooling on the side. "Help yourselves to breakfast."
Once they were alone Blaine slipped his arms around Kurt's waist, pulling him in close. "You OK? You talked to your dad."
"Mmm," Kurt hummed in agreement, nuzzling Blaine's nose with his own. "I know you told him first."
"I had to, he was worried..."
"It's fine," Kurt reassured him with a gentle kiss. "I actually love that you two get on, that you can talk to him."
"He's a good guy," Blaine said. "I see where you get it from."
"Flatterer."
"If there's coffee and breakfast in it for me I will say what I want," Blaine laughed. "And it's working, I can tell."
"How?" Kurt asked, feigning indignation.
"I can see it," Blaine said, holding Kurt's gaze with his own. "I'm becoming an expert in the many moods and reactions of Kurt Hummel."
"After a year, you better had!" Kurt laughed, "But there's still much more to learn," he added, kissing Blaine once more before stepping away to make a start on breakfast for them.
Blaine leant on the counter and watched him work, filing away new snapshots for reference. There was still lots to learn and he would happily spend a lifetime doing just that.