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Droid Texting Bomb

Blaine gets the SMS Bomber Texting app on his new Droid. Kurt has deep pockets and his "bombed" phone is on his crotch during class resulting in a 'little problem'. Try to remove it and the teacher thinks he's texting. Blaine to the rescue!


E - Words: 2,426 - Last Updated: Jul 29, 2011
1,365 1 2 5
Categories: Humor,
Characters: Blaine Anderson, Kurt Hummel,
Tags: established relationship,

Author's Notes: I love Klaine! And just as a reminder, Blaine is one year ahead of Kurt. And for the record, IDK if Dalton has big lecture halls or just fancy school desks, so I just went with small lecture hall. I do not own Glee. If I did, Kurt and Blaine would have a friggen gay baby already! xDONE SHOT!WARNING: Slash, BJ's and such
"Blaine," Kurt breathed into said boy's mouth as they two embraced outside their dorm room. "Blaine," he gasped again around the dark haired boy's fervent lips. Kurt groaned and said again, but with force this time, "Blaine!"

"What?" he mumbled, moving his quick lips to Kurt's neck, his hair tickling under Kurt's ear.

"We have to get to class."

"We have 5 minutes, don't get your panties in a twist."

Kurt laughed quietly and smoothed his hand over his boyfriend's hair. Ever since he and Blaine started going out, the personality of "Dapper Blaine" seemed to fall sometimes and be masked by "I'm you're average horny teenage boy" and Kurt absolutely loved every bit of it.

"Yes, 5 minutes, but our class is on the other side of this big ass school."

"Speaking of which, where's your big ass? I miss it," Blaine frowned as he looked at Kurt's backside, hidden in slacks that didn't fit him right. Though they had to wear uniforms, Kurt cheated a lot and bought sizes that were a size too small so they acted similarly to his skinny jeans that he loved. But he made a mistake and bought one size that was too big and was forced to wear those today.

"All my other pants are in the wash, they told me they have a backlog of laundry so I had to wear these; it was all I could find."

Blaine sighed and pulled away, holding onto Kurt's hand; Dapper Blaine coming back.

"Did I ever tell you how much I love that you're in AP Calculus?"

Kurt shrugged. "A few times."

"I just love that I can text you during class and be able to see you read it, instead of you being down the hall in the lower level math class. Oh, that reminds me!" Blaine reached into his back pocket and pulled out his new phone.

"Is that the Droid?"

"Yep! But I don't have a ring tone yet so could you please sing the beginning of 'Give Up The Funk' for me? Please?" he begged.

Kurt placed his other hand on his face and groaned. "Of all the songs I can sing you want me to do that?"

"Yes," he stated simply pressing 'record.'

Kurt pursed his lips then began chanting in an extremely-low baritone

Roof off

We're gonna tear the roof off the mother sucker

Tear the roof off the sucker

Tear the roof off

We're gonna tear the roof off the mother sucker

Tear the roof off the sucker

Tear the roof off

We're gonna tear the roof off the mother sucker

Blaine stopped the recording and grinned. "That is so hot."

"Shut up," Kurt said, his voice switching back to it's normal higher pitch.

"You should sing an entire song like that sometime," Blaine teased as he switched his ring tone to the deep recording. "And I want to show you this too!"

He held his phone in front of Kurt's face and he pointed to an app.

"S-M-S Bomber?" Kurt said. "What the hell is that?"

"It allows me to text-bomb people."

Kurt blinked.

"That means that I can put in a number..." Blaine put in 3. "Pick my victim..." He scrolled down to Kurt's name. "And..."

Kurt's cell phone began ringing "Ra-ra-ah-ah-aha" (the beginning of "Bad Romance") and then stopped. It played again, then stopped. It played once more, and stopped.

Kurt frowned. "I'm so glad I have unlimited texting." He took out his phone and changed it to vibrate.

"Yes, yes you will."

~ ~ ~
[In Calculus Class]

Kurt's phone vibrated in his pocket 10 minutes into the period. The teacher, Mr. Sentone, was turned around so he took a peek under his desk to see that Blaine had sent him :Hey beautiful. You look so cute when ur thinking c; :

Kurt sighed internally. Blaine was slowly learning how to text with short, mutilated words so that the receiver could glance and then look up again at the instructor, but it was still a work in progress.

:Only whn im thkn abut u: he tapped quickly as the instructor looked behind.

A few minutes passed and Blaine texted him back. :Sry, its hard to read ur texts. Takes me a while:

Kurt rolled his eyes and began typing back when-

"Mister Hummel!" the teacher said.

Kurt froze and shoved the half written text into his pocket automatically.

"If I see that phone out again, you'll be dismissed from class and I'll confiscate it for a week."

"Yes sir, sorry."

Kurt shimmed in his seat. Because he was wearing a size too big of slacks, the pockets of the pants ended around his crotch. He had placed the phone in the bottom of the pockets and now it laid over his dick.

He tried moving it somewhere else, even to the side if he could, but every time he tried, he knew that it looked like he was fondling himself.

Blaine texted him, the phone vibrating on his crotch. He held back a shiver from the sensation. Kurt quickly fished the phone out.

:Hving sme trouble r we?:

Kurt's fingers flew over the keypad and he started putting the phone back, but as he did so, the teacher glared at him.

Kurt swallowed as he received a silent mental message from Mr. Sentone. "This is your last chance. Phone away. I'll pretend like I didn't see that," was written in the stare Kurt got.

Blaine read the text, no one paying attention to him :cell n dep pkt/on dck:

Blaine was at a loss. What did that possibly mean? After 5 minutes of ignoring the teacher and replying the text over in his head he had to stop himself from bursting out laughing. "Cell in deep pocket. On dick." He glanced at Kurt's thigh where he could see the rectangular mound poised on his leg, not yet shoved to the bottom on the pocket.

Time to use SMS Bomber, baby.

Kurt's thigh vibrated as his phone signaled a text. He ignored it. Then it vibrated again and stopped for a second... This happened 3 more times as the phone started rotating in his pocket.

"What the hell? Blaine can't text that fast!"

Another round of 5 texts began making his lap numb. "What the fuck Blaine?" he screamed internally. He had a hand placed over the phone until Mr. Sentone glanced his way and Kurt placed his hands on his desk to make sure the teacher saw his hands.

Unfortunately Blaine chose that moment to begin his next bomb so the cell slid to the side and landed on his penis. Kurt braced himself as he felt it begin sliding, but he still jolted in pain as the heavy hunk of plastic hit his manhood.

The phone continued vibrating unceasingly save for the half second between texts. He tried forgetting about it at first but-

Kurt clutched his desk as the vibrating piece was getting an erection out of him. He clenched his jaw. "I am the master of my dick... I am not getting a boner...I am not getting a boner..."

Thankfully the vibrating didn't make noise, but Kurt was going to have to worry about himself making noise. He tried shifting forward to move the phone, but that only resulted in it resting on the head. The vibrations of the phone sent a constant, arousing sensation to his manhood and all he wanted to do was touch himself.

He tried imagined himself being anywhere else. Prison! Standing outside a Broadway play he wanted to see but couldn't get tickets! Karofsky kissing him! A lesbian bar! All these revolted him, but after each flash of being somewhere else, he kept imagining himself in his dorm jacking himself off.

He looked down. All that was for not. His boner just kept thickening and hardening. Now he was a bit thankful for the cell being on his cock because it was keeping him down... for now.

Beads of sweat popped out on his forehead as he strained to keep control. He was failing miserably.

This was way more than just 5 texts at a time.

He glared daggers at Blaine who sat diagonally behind him.

" 'How many did you send?' " he mouthed angrily.

Blaine's face was red as he held back laughing. He held up both hands and opened and closed them 3 times.

30 texts...

Kurt moaned very quietly. Maybe if he crossed his legs?

Big mistake.

Now the cell was wedged between his balls, dick and thigh, and only making him stiffer, erm, I mean suffer.

By this time he had a full blown erection that was not going away. He began contemplating when he could go masturbate. They had 10 minute passing times and his dorm was 3 minutes away if he ran; it would take another 2 and a half minutes from his dorm to AP French... 4 and a half minutes could work. Then he thought about it again, it was painful to run with a boner so maybe he would turn out only having about 4 minutes...still, that could work.

As of now tough, he would have to wait another 25 minutes till the bell and he wasn't sure if he would be able to hold out.

The vibrating plastic was pushed roughly against his sack making him squirm. He tried to uncross his legs to give him more room but it just felt so good. Now he didn't even have to control to prolong himself even a bit.

The texts had to be at about 20 or so and he prayed that Blaine would not send another bomb. Kurt looked behind him and Blaine was watching him twitch in discomfort. Blaine wiped tears away with a tissue from holding back his outbursts of giggles.

" 'I can't stop it,' " Blaine mouthed.

Kurt didn't know if he meant the laughing or the texts.

Pre-cum was beginning to leak from his knob. Great, now he was going to look like some freak who peed himself then got a boner. How awkward.

He couldn't take it anymore, his cock was shoving against his pants even though they were too big. He lost count of how many texts he received but 1 or 100 it didn't seem to matter anymore, he just wanted it to be over. He couldn't reach in and get the phone one because Sentone would throw him out and two he would be forced to give himself a hand job if he got anywhere near his throbbing boner.

"Mr. Sentone! May I use the lavatory?" Kurt asked as Sentone asked for someone to answer his question.

The instructor mumbled, "Well the answer is actually 2 radical 5, but yes you may, be quick."

Kurt wasn't sure how he did it, but he was able to shuffle out of the long lecture hall benches, down three steps and out the door without getting any odd looks. Thankfully the bathroom was close and he slipped in, practically jumping into a stall.

He buttoned and unzipped his pants, his erection poking out of his boxers, happy to be free. Kurt looked around in disdain at the stall then looked under for feet. Though he had never wanted to jerk off in a bathroom stall, sometimes you just had to do it. Thankfully he was all alone.

He put his boxers over his dick and took out his phone that was still vibrating. He placed it on his sheathed dick and rubbed it up and down, now focusing on the shaking.

The texts stopped.

No.

Kurt slammed his forehead on the red stall and yelled, "Fuck!" From the yell he emitted, he didn't hear the bathroom door swing open.

He banged his forehead twice more against the stall then heard a dreamy sounding, "Excuse me, but you sound just like my boyfriend."

"Blaine?"

Kurt unlocked the stall and opened the door. "See what you did," he growled at Blaine, gesturing at his enlarged package.

Blaine nodded slowly and took Kurt's manhood in his hands. Kurt shivered from his touch.

"I suppose that since I caused this, I should be the one to finish it right?" He wrapped his fingers around Kurt and rubbed his palm along it, the material of the boxers adding desirable friction.

Kurt nodded and held back his groans of pleasure that he desperately wanted to scream out. "How did you get out?" Kurt grunted.

"I asked to get my book because I forgot it in my dorm. Hmm," he mused playing with Kurt. "We can't get your hot cum everywhere, how can we conceal what will happen here?"

"A paper towel? A sock?" Kurt thought to himself.

Blaine knelt on the dirty ground and put Kurt's hot member into his mouth. Kurt exhaled through his teeth and automatically thrust a few times, grabbing Blaine's curly dark hair. "Ugh, uff, Blaine," he mewled.

They had offically been boyfriends for 2 months now and they'd done this and gone all the way plenty of times, but right now in this public stall, everything seemed so naughty and sexy.

Blaine licked at Kurt's slit, playing with the knob with his tongue. Blaine grabbed Kurt's balls and massaged them with his fingers. Kurt rolled his hips forward and let out a soundless scream, his head falling back. Meanwhile, Blaine swallowed around the member, the feeling sending spikes of passion through Kurt's body.

Kurt's legs twitched a bit and Blaine knew he was about to peak. Kurt climaxed in Blaine's mouth, his cock's head at the beginning of Blaine's throat, making small, controlled thrusts as he did so. Blaine swirled his tongue around Kurt as he ejaculated then swallowed again, his large mouth able to take it all without spilling over his lips. He dragged his lips along his softening cock, taking every bit of Kurt with him.

Kurt slumped against the cold metal, catching his breath while Blaine wiped his limp penis with a tissue, then buttoning his slacks back up for him.

He stood up and kissed Kurt, then pushed Kurt's sweaty hair back up into his sophisticated style. "I'm sorry," he said to Kurt. "It was just too good to pass up." He looked Kurt up and down. "And you totally owe me later."

Kurt, now composed again, put his fists on his hips. "Owe you? So much could have gone wrong with your little prank and I still owe you?"

"Well, see it from my point of view. If I never text bombed you, we never would have been here now." He flashed his heart-melting smile and wrapped his arms around him. Kurt almost forgave him. Almost.

"Should we even go back to class?" Kurt asked, leaning into Blaine.

"I have to get my books, but we can do that later." Blaine slowly brought their lips back together. "You taste so good," he mumbled into the others mouth. "All of you does," he added. Kurt gripped the back of Blaine's neck while Blaine rested his hands on Kurt's ass.


"Oh yeah," Kurt thought to himself. "I'm going to pay him back later... but first, I'm getting a Droid."
End Notes: I was smiling insanely as I wrote this, I can't wait to read some reviews! Please tell me what you thought!SMS Bomber is an actual app for the Android/Droid whatever. I've seen it in action and it's funny.And about what I had Kurt sing, if you get a chance, listen to the beginning of "Give Up the Funk" by the Glee cast it's actually Kurt singing that! It's not modified at all! He can go that deep! YES! (but no offense, the rest of the song kinda sucks except for the end where you can hear Kurt again).

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This was one of the very first Klaine fan fictions that I read (back on ff.net), and I'm laughing just as hard now as I was when I read it first time. A perfect mix of hilarity and smut :)

3 things:a) sms bomber DOWNLOAD! xDb) this is HILARIOUS! hahahaha c)*add favorites!*