Nov. 23, 2013, 6 p.m.
When Breathing Was Easy
Blaine never felt the need to share the fact that he was claustrophobic with anyone outside of his family and Kurt, he soon finds that he wishes he had.
T - Words: 3,024 - Last Updated: Nov 23, 2013 926 0 0 0 Categories: Angst, Drama, General, Characters: Blaine Anderson, Kurt Hummel, Tags: established relationship, friendship, hurt/comfort,
It wasnt something he ever talked about. It wasnt something he ever really needed to talk about. His family obviously knew, Kurt of course knew, but he never felt the need to tell his friends because it wasnt something that came up often since he had long ago learned to avoid situations where his claustrophobia would become a problem; take the stairs not the elevator, open windows, leave a room when it became too crowded.
No, Blaine never felt the need to tell his friends about his claustrophobia because it had never been a problem that they needed to know about. Of course, thats until it was.
"So when is Kurt getting here?"
Blaine looked up from where he was pouring soda into his cup to see Sam smiling at him, obviously a little tipsy. Tinas party was in full swing and most of the New Directions, as well as a few of the old members, were already in the basement and edging on their way to drunk. Blaine planned on waiting for Kurt to arrive to drink so he wasnt sloppy when he finally saw him.
"He should be here soon, he was helping his dad out at the shop so he had to get cleaned up before coming over."
"When do you guys head out to New York?"
"Well, next week—"
"Blainey Days!" Tina stumbled over, hanging onto his arm when she reached him. Blaine looked to Sam in time to see him roll his eyes before walking back towards Brittany.
"Whats up Tina?" He smiled at her even when her nicknames for him grated at his nerves.
"We ran out of cups. Theres a pack of them in the closet but I cant reach them, can you get them for me?"
Blaine looked over to see the small pantry with the door opened, it appeared to be filled with odds and ends packed onto the shelves. It was dark in there but with the light from the basement, he could clearly see the clear bag with red solo cups on one of the higher shelves.
"Tina, why dont you ask Sam or Ryder? Theyre both much taller than me."
Tina jutted her bottom lip out slightly, "Please?"
Blaine looked back at the pantry and swallowed thickly.
"Please!" She added emphasis.
He looked back to her and smiled tightly, "Of course."
Tina jumped a little and clapped her hands before leaning up to kiss his cheek, "Thank you Blainers!"
Blaine rolled his eyes; he really needed to talk to her about these nicknames when she was sober, and turned towards the closet. As he walked nearer, his heart rate began to pick up. He could do this…he would be in and out in less than a minute and then Kurt would get there and they would spend the rest of the night drinking, and laughing with their friends, and making out in a corner somewhere while Santana made crude comments at them.
He could do this.
What Blaine did not see, as he gave himself a pep talk while walking towards the closet, was Kitty watching him. She liked Blaine, she really did, but never one to pass up a great joke, she whispered into Jakes ear and nodded her head towards Blaine who had turned on the light switch outside the closet and was peering in and up at the cups, still outside the door. They laughed quietly, and once Blaine stepped completely in the pantry she made her move.
Her movements were quick, though sloppy from the alcohol, and she walked the short distance to the closet, slammed the door closed, and smacked the light switch off.
"Hey Anderson, theres no need to go back in the closet, we all love and accept your allegiance to the republic of rainbows!" She slurred and everyone laughed, cut off quickly by three sharp bangs.
"Please, please, let me out! Let me out, ok? It was funny but open the door."
"Jeeze, youre no fun." Kitty rolled her eyes. She reached for the handle, only to find that it wouldnt budge.
"Look, I need to get out, ok? Please just open the door." The voice coming out was calm but tight.
"I…its locked, I cant…hold on."
The doorknob was being jostled from the inside to no avail and Blaine began pounding on the door again, "PLEASE! PLEASE, I CANT…I CANT BREATHE, LET ME OUT! LET ME OUT! PLEASE ILL DO ANYTHING!"
Kittys hands were visibly shaking as she backed away from the door a little before turning to the rest of the room, "Its locked, I dont…its locked!"
"PLEASE!" Loud gasps of breath were audible from within the closet and there were loud noises from within the small room. Broken off pleas were coming out loudly from Blaine.
The kids were all staring at the door dumbstruck, but it was another set of loud banging and scratching at the door that finally knocked Sam out of his trance. He quickly made his way over to the closet and gently pushed a crying Kitty to the side.
He tried the doorknob, his alcohol addled mind making it hard to concentrate on what he should be doing, and looked around the room, "Where is Tina?"
Everyone looked around the room and at each other.
"I think she went upstairs?" Marley spoke up from next to Unique, tears silently falling down her face.
Sam cursed under his breath, flipped on the light switch, and then knocked on the door, "Blaine? Blaine were gonna get you out, man. We just have to wait for Tina to come down then well get you out, ok? The lights are on so you can see…can you hear me Blaine?"
Sam couldnt hear anything from within the closet, but when Blaine began banging on the door again, Sam jumped back surprised.
"SA— SAM PL—EASE! PL—EASE OPEN…THE…DOOR!" His voice was panicked and coming out in gasps and Blaine was once again scratching at the door as if he could find a way to rip the wood apart and get through.
There was one final loud thump in the back of the closet and then the noise and yelling stopped, only Blaines loud and desperate breaths could be heard.
"Blaine?" There was no response, "Blaine, buddy, what happened?" Sams voice came out panicked.
When there was still no answer from within, Sam bolted up the stairs with not even a glance at any of the teens that stood around the room. While they all just stared at the door of the closet, Kitty once again moved to the door and placed her left ear and right palm against the wood, "Blaine?" She spoke softly, "Blaine, Im sorry, please, are you ok? Can you hear me?"
No sounds came, and Kitty just cried softly, her face against the cool wood of the door, no one moved or made a sound within the room, the only noise was a Pink song blaring from someones ipod. Had it been a less severe situation, the irony may have fallen upon them.
There were sudden shouts from above their heads and loud footsteps before Kurt came barreling down the stairs, Tina and Sam behind him, "Where is he?" He looked around, his eyes wild, but no one seemed able to answer him, "WHERE IS BLAINE?" He yelled.
A few people startled, but before anyone could answer, Sam was pushing him forward towards Kitty and the closet door.
He reached the door and pushed Kitty away, with more force than Sam had previously done, and immediately took the same position she had been in, "Blaine?" his voice was calm and soft, though urgent, "Blaine can you hear me? Its Kurt."
He couldnt hear anything from the boy and turned to Sam, "Turn the music off!" He quickly ran over and Blaines ragged breaths from within the closet along with choked off sobs, though muffled, were suddenly amplified in the room.
"Blaine?" His voice was much more urgent this time, "Breathe, baby, just breathe, were going to get you out of there."
He turned towards Tina, "Where is the key?" She stared at the door, wavering slightly from the buzz that mixed with the shock she was in, "TINA!"
Her attention snapped to Kurts panicked face, "Tina, where is the key?"
"I…" her face drained of color, "There isnt one, we…it was lost and my dad was supposed to change the lock next week so we just kept the door propped…oh god, there isnt one, Im so sorry!" She began sobbing, her hands covering her face.
Ryder, who was closest, moved away from Marley and pulled her into his arms.
Kurt looked the door over before turning back to her, "Where are your fathers tools, Tina?"
She looked at him from within Ryders hold, she was still sobbing but Kurt could tell that she was listening and thinking, "In the…in the garage."
"Ryder, go with her and bring me back a screwdriver and a hammer as fast as possible."
Once they had quickly ascended the steps, he turned back to the door when he heard a loud noise. He placed his ear to the door, he heard Blaines breathing coming out less erratic but they were still loud and uneven.
"Just a few more minutes, I promise, just a few more minutes." He voice was low as if he were talking to himself more so than Blaine.
Kitty took that moment to walk over, "Im…Im sorry!" She cried, her arms gripped tightly around herself.
Kurt turned and looked at her then around the room of suddenly somber teenagers before refocusing back to her, "What were you thinking?" His voice was steely.
"I was trying to be funny…It was just a joke."
His eyes narrowed and she flinched, "What kind of person locks someone in a closet as a joke?" He spat the words out, "You are a vile human being."
Jake stepped forward, putting his arm around her, "Dont talk to her like that, she said she was sorry."
"Sorry?" He laughed, no humor present, "Shes sorry? She locked someone with severe claustrophobia in a small closet! Is her sorry making Blaine panic any less? NO! I dont want to hear about how sorry she is while my boyfriend is passed out in a closet from hyperventilating!" He glared at the two of them and then turned back to the door.
Before anyone could say anything, Ryder ran down the stairs, skipping the last three. By the time Tina is in sight, he is already in front of Kurt, dropping the tools into his hands.
As Kurt begins tapping at the gold hinges of the door, the small latch slowly rising, Sam walks up next to him.
"Do you really think he passed out?"
Kurt doesnt even glance at him, "Yes. He was hyperventilating and his breathing has evened out some, hes definitely unconscious."
The first hinge is freed and so Kurt begins to work on the top one.
"Why didnt he tell anyone?"
He sighs a little, "Blaine hates when people see him in anyway weak or vulnerable. Ive been trying to tell him for the past two years to tell you guys just incase something like this were to happen, but hes also frustratingly stubborn."
The hinge popped out and Kurt squatted on the ground and began on the last one, "Hold the door so it doesnt fall when this one comes out." Sam placed his hand against the wood, holding it in place.
"He couldve trusted me."
"Its not a question of trust for Blaine, its about pride and about him not wanting to feel like he has to rely on anyone for anything. Hes a dummy who would give the shirt off his back for anyone but God forbid he needed something."
Though his voice came out exasperated, Sam could hear the fondness seeping through Kurts words.
When the last of the hinges were out of the way, Kurt tossed the tools aside and he and Sam slowly lifted the door away from the frame and set it to the side.
Since the lights had been turned on, the chaos of the room was immediately visible. Blaine was, as Kurt predicted, lying passed out among heaps of boxes, cans, and household items that had falling from the shelves. Once the door was safely lying against the wall, Kurt ran into the room and immediately dropped to the floor next to Blaine, pulling his limp body into his arms and checking his pulse, which was fast but even.
"Sam, help me get him out of here."
Together, they lifted Blaine and carried him to one of the couches in the basement, gently lying him down. Kurt kneeled next to the couch and began lightly running his fingers through his hair.
"Should we take him to the hospital?" Unique quietly asked.
"No, hell be fine, give him a few minutes to wake up."
Tina moved closer, still sniffling, "His hands are covered in blood!"
Kurt moved his eyes away from Blaines face and looked at her before following her extended hand pointing to his that were, indeed, covered in dried blood. Kurt softly lifted one up to examine it before doing the same to the other, his nails were cracked and the skin on his fingertips were scratched and the source of the bleeding, "Theyll be ok, theyve already stopped bleeding."
"But what happened to them?"
"He was…I guess scratching at the door to get out? Im not sure, thats what it looks like and it ripped his skin a little. Do you have washcloths?" He looked at her quickly, "Can you bring me two, one wet with a little soap and the other just cold water?"
Tina quickly nodded and disappeared into what he assumed was a laundry room with a water basin when he heard water running. He quickly turned back to Blaine and once again ran his fingers through his hair, taking in the rest of his appearance. Blaine mustve been grabbing at his collar to get more air as both his shirt and undershirt were stretched out, his button down missing the first two buttons and the third hung loosely from the shirt. His clothes were rumpled but ultimately unharmed and besides his hands, the only physical indicator that something had happened was a small cut on his lip where he mustve been biting at it.
When Tina returned he first took the cold rag and folded it up before placing it on Blaines forehead. He then grabbed the soapy rag and began to clean out the cuts on his fingertips and clear away the dried blood. Once his hands were cleaned, he looked once again at each fingertip, but the bleeding had subsided and there luckily didnt appear to be any splinters.
Kurt dropped the washcloth onto an end table before removing the cloth from Blaines forehead and unfolding it. He wiped across Blaines face, removing tear stains and a little bit of blood from his lip and then once again folded it and replaced it on his forehead before softly rubbing against his cheek.
After a few moments, there were soft flutters behind Blaines eyelids that cause Kurt to perk up a little, "Blaine?" He called softly, gently tapping on his cheek, "Sweetie, can you hear me?"
Blaines face scrunched up in pain, his eye squeezing closed tightly, before he slowly relaxed and squinted them open, looking at Kurt.
He smiled a little and removed the washcloth, "There you are, I was worried when you didnt wake up for a bit, how are you feeling?"
"Sore." His voice was raspy from yelling and spoken through an exhale of breath.
Kurt laughed, "I bet. Do you remember what happened?"
"The closet. I was stuck. Couldnt breathe." He breathing starting picking up, coming out in shorter increments.
Kurt shushed him, his hand finding its way back into his hair, "Relax, youre fine now. Youre safe, ok? Everything is ok. Close your eyes for a minute, remember what Dr. Miller told you, find your calm place."
Blaine did as he was told and after a couple minutes, his breathing was once again slowed and he opened his eyes again.
"Better?"
"Yea. Thanks."
"Do you think you want to try and sit up?"
He nodded and with Kurts help, was able to sit up, though his weight was heavily resting against Kurt who joined him on the couch once there was room.
"Are you feeling ok? Nauseas? Dizzy?"
Blaine shook his head a little, "No…Im ok." He looked a little around the room and then back to Kurt with a meaningful gaze that his boyfriend was luckily able to read.
"Do you think you could make it upstairs? We should probably go so you can rest."
Blaine smiled faintly, "Yea, I think I can."
Kurt helped him stand, Sam only stepping in to grab his elbow when he stumbled a little on the first step forward. He let go once Blaine was stable, though he walked with the boys to the stairs. They were about to take the first step when someone called out to Blaine. Turning, Kitty was nervously watching them.
"I just…God, Blaine, Im sorry. Im so sorry. I didnt mean to hurt you." Tears were pooled in her eyes and her voice wavered.
"I know Kitty," He spoke quietly, "Its o—"
"If you say its ok, I will never speak to you again." Kurt looked at him angrily, though it was obvious that his anger was directed towards Kitty.
"Hes right, its not ok, it was juvenile and stupid and Im just…Im really sorry."
Blaine looked at Kurt for a moment then back to Kitty, he smiled sadly to her, "Thank you." And then he slowly made his way up the stairs, Kurts arm around his waist, Sam hovering closely behind, ready to help if needed.
By the time they made it outside to Kurts car, which thankfully since he was the last to arrive was not blocked in the driveway, Blaine was exhausted. After a quick goodbye to Sam and thanks for his help, Kurt quickly pulled out of the driveway.
"I know you want to say you told me so." Blaine said quietly after they had been driving for a few minutes in companionable silence.
"Though it is warranted, I never want to tell you I told you so, I especially dont want to have been right about that hurts you."
"Im so embarrassed."
Kurt reached over and gently grabbed his hand, kissing the back of it as he continued to drive, "Dont be. It happened, it was awful, but theyre your friends and they love you. Nothing to be embarrassed about."
Blaine was silent for a few moments, "Thank you for being there."
He squeezed his hand softly, "Ill always be there."