You call to me, and I fall at your feet

How could anyone ask for more?

Blaine was sitting in his room, phone clutched tightly in his hands. He should know better by now than to expect Kurt to call. It was too much like the time after Kurt had gotten his internship. Blaine felt alone, abandoned. Yes he had wanted for Kurt to go and live his dream, but he had always thought he would be part of it.

But then it had seemed like that wasn’t the case and it had broken him. He had always been there for Kurt and then he had felt like Kurt didn’t even care about him anymore. It had felt like someone had sucked all of the oxygen out of the air around him, leaving him gasping on the floor in pain, while Kurt merrily went his way.

And our time apart, like knives in my heart

How could anyone ask for more?

But of course, that didn’t excuse what he had done. Seeking out Eli, as he had, with the clear intent to get the affirmation that he didn’t get from Kurt anymore from someone else, especially after he had gotten so upset at Kurt for the exact same thing less than a year ago was the worst kind of betrayal Blaine could think of.

He had never felt more miserable in his life. Or at least not until after he had told Kurt about it and see the face of the boy he loved more than anything fall, as the happiness shattered away like shards of broken glass, cutting into Blaine’s very soul as they were replaced with a look of utter despair and sorrow.

Now Blaine was back here, alone again, and everything was falling to shreds around him. Normally when he felt like that, he would have called Kurt and they would have talked until he felt better, but that wasn’t an option anymore, and it was all his fault.

And that hurt worse than any knife to the heart ever could.

But if there's a pill to help me forget,

God knows I haven't found it yet

But I'm dying to, God I'm trying to

He was trying to work through the pain, to distract himself with Glee and the duties of a senior class presidents and auditions for the school musical, but nothing helped. Kurt was always right there at the front of his mind. After a while, he started to cut down on the clubs he was in, leaving only Glee.

It should be enough, really, with the presidency and the school musical approaching, but none of it even managed to wipe out the memory of Kurt’s heartbroken expression when Blaine had told him what he had done.

'Cause trying not to love you, only goes so far

And trying not to need you, is tearing me apart

Can't see the silver lining, from down here on the floor

And I just keep on trying, but I don't know what for

In some ways Glee club only made it worse, because now that Finn was back, Blaine was back to being cast aside, especially since they were all Kurt’s friends as well and even though Blaine knew Kurt hadn’t told them, he wouldn’t do that to Blaine, Finn had. But still he went through all of it, because the memories of the happy times he and Kurt had shared in the choir room, were enough to keep him going.

'Cause trying not to love you

Only makes me love you more

Only makes me love you more

But that didn’t help him to move on, it only made him hold on tighter.

ooOooOooOoo

And this kind of pain, only time takes away

That's why it's harder to let you go

Kurt spent the first few days after Blaine went back to Ohio feeling like he was barely holding things together. He got the flowers, and even though he kept them, he threw the note away at first. But as soon as Chase had left and he was certain that no one was watching him, he picked it up again and put it safely away in his pocket.

He knew that he would be ok again, someday. Logically at least. But right now, it just felt like he was falling apart at the seams with no one there to hold him together.

And nothing I can do, without thinking of you

That's why it's harder to let you go

Kurt found it interesting, or would have if it didn’t feel like it was killing him inside every time he thought about it, that he realized just how big a part of his life Blaine had really become only now that he wasn’t there anymore.

Because whether it was driving to work softly singing along to music, getting coffee, watching some stupid TV show or other, all of it only served to remind him of Blaine. And it hurt.

But if there's a pill to help me forget,

God knows I haven't found it yet

But I'm dying to, God I'm trying to

And he was trying to get Blaine off his mind, he really was. He started watching different shows, carefully avoided any kind of Top 40 music, he even went out with a few guys, trying to get a certain dark haired ex-Warbler off his mind, but in the end none of those dates worked out.

'Cause trying not to love you, only goes so far

Trying not to need you, is tearing me apart

Can't see the silver lining, from down here on the floor

None of them was Blaine. They didn’t understand all of his jokes like Blaine had, didn’t smile knowingly when he rolled his eyes, didn’t know exactly when he was about to speak up at an inappropriate moment and stop him gently to keep him from embarrassment.

And I just keep on trying, but I don't know what for

'Cause trying not to love you

Only makes me love you more

They didn’t have the same beautiful smile, or amazing voice. They didn’t have gorgeous amber eyes, staring at him with unparalleled love and adoration, their size wasn’t right so that their head fit perfectly in the crook of Kurt’s neck when they hugged. All those dates really only did one thing for him.

They confirmed that, no matter what, Blaine was the one for him, for better or for worse.

ooOooOooOoo

So I sit here divided, just talking to myself

They both suffered under the separation, but neither of them knew how to break the silence that had fallen between them. How to make the first step.

Was it something that I did?

Blaine, because he was convinced that it was all his fault, that first he hadn’t been good enough to keep Kurt interested and then he had gone and fuck it up even more. He was convinced that he had tainted what they had, that Kurt would never want him again.

Was there somebody else?

Kurt, because even though he knew that what Blaine had done was wrong and it would be so easy to just blame it all on him, he knew how much Blaine loved him, and he couldn’t help but beat himself up for his behavior that, as he could see now, had been the thing that had led Blaine down the path into the arms of another in the first place.

When a voice from behind me, that was fighting back tears

Sat right down beside me, whispered right in my ear

Said, I've been dying to tell you

In the end, the decision was taken from them by an outside source that cared about them both and had seen how much they were both suffering. Burt Hummel, once more running for father of the year, “accidentally” booked a plane ticket to New York around Christmas to visit his son, because Kurt had to work almost til Christmas, and Rachel was going home to Lima to visit her dads, for a day that he could absolutely not fly there because he had other responsibilities to fulfill.

Before he knew it, Blaine found himself on that plane instead ‘So neither of you will have to spend Christmas alone.’

That trying not to love you, only went so far

Trying not to need you, was tearing me apart

Now I see the silver lining, from what we're fighting for

We just keep on trying, we could be much more

At first he had been convinced that it was an absolutely terrible idea, but when he stood in front of Kurt’s door as it slowly opened to reveal the boy he loved more than anything, all the feelings that they both had fought to suppress crashed down on them, tears clouding their vision as they fell into a tight hug.

'Cause trying not to love you

Oh, yeah, trying not to love you

Only makes me love you more

Only makes me love you more

Because now they were back together, and they knew that this was where they belonged. They still had a lot of issues to work out, but more than anything, they were in love. And that was all that mattered in this moment, as Kurt pulled Blaine into the empty apartment, the door closing behind them as everything that had fallen apart seemed to be falling back into place once more.