April 7, 2012, 11:25 a.m.
Lies
And then there were lies, big, giant, black, nasty lies that after were told left a monster in your stomach, gnawing your insides until breathing was close to impossible. These lies drug you under the surface of sanity. They caused you to argue with yourself, and worry, and even lose sleep. Blaine Anderson had only told three of those in his life.
T - Words: 847 - Last Updated: Apr 07, 2012 552 0 0 0 Categories: Angst, Characters: Blaine Anderson, Tags: OMG CREYS, hurt/comfort,
Blaine Anderson had always been a good liar. He was versed in the different types of lies. There were some lies, white lies, which were used everyday. I can’t make it to that party. I know I’ll regret in the morning because I have to babysit my non-existent niece. Sorry. There were other lies, every day lies, in which you felt bad for a fraction of a second, and then were put behind you. I didn’t break the vase mom! It was Jessie! You know, the kid from down the block! And then there were lies, big, giant, black, nasty lies that after were told left a monster in your stomach, gnawing your insides until breathing was close to impossible. These lies drug you under the surface of sanity. They caused you to argue with yourself, and worry, and even lose sleep.
Blaine Anderson had only told three of those in his life.
No, Dad, I’m straight. Really. Those boys thought that I was trying to steal Jonathan’s girlfriend. Well, ex-girlfriend. She likes me. It’s not my fault.
The father laughed and clapped the bruised 14-year-old on the shoulder. “Can’t help that Anderson Charm, now can we son!? There’s still the problem of you being expelled though, what will we do about that? Hope Cooper won’t mind his little brother around for his last semester at Dalton. It was only a matter of time before you went regardless. That school was no good.”
The lie went off without a catch. The son was sent somewhere he was safe, and the father didn’t have to be disappointed just yet. And lying was the right thing to do. Right? If not, would the son have had more bruises to count? Would the son be forced into a program where they try to change how you love? Would he be forced out of his house. Would he be alone? That lie saved the son’s life. Right?
But, it really didn’t. A year later, the boy would meet another boy who blew his mind away. A boy he was so in love with, he would do anything. Anything, including facing his own worst fears. When the truth was told, the lie just made it hurt more. The father wasn’t angry about the boys being in love, but angry at the lie from a year ago. When the truth was told, there were no bruises, just hurt feelings. Why didn’t the boy tell his father? Did he not trust him? Did he think that he wouldn’t love him? The father loved his son. Unconditionally. Maybe the father hadn’t won father of the year award, and maybe he was away too often and didn’t say ‘I love you’ enough, but nothing would stop him from loving his son.
That time, the truth didn’t hurt. The lie did. The second lie caused much more damage than the first.
I don’t love you. Long distance isn’t working. I don’t want to try anymore.
There had been tears and hurt looks, but no more words. There had been heavy footsteps running down the stairs, and a door slamming, but no more words were spoken.
This lie, not only hurt him, but the person on the receiving end of the lie. But lying was the right thing to do. Right? If the lie had never been told, he would have held the boy he loved back. If that lie had never been told, years later, his boy would never have starred on that stage. If that lie had never been told, his boy would still be with him, tethered down, not able to shine. If that lie had never been told, he wouldn’t be miserable, but his boy wouldn’t have been happy. Maybe this lie left him alone, but that lie had save his boy’s life. Right?
But not really. Because whether he knew it or now, his boy was miserable. His boy had forgotten how to love. His boy drowned him self in stress, and shows, and goals, and pressure, when he could have been drowned with happiness. The thing that was different about this lie, from the last one, was the truth was never told.
This time, the truth could have made the lie hurt less, but instead, the boy let the lie live, he let the lie grow. His boy started to believe he was unlovable, and he never loved again.
The third lie was purely told to keep up the charade.
Yes. I love you so much. Yes. I will marry you.
That other boy kissed him. And the boy tried to kiss back. But that kiss was a lie to. That other boy talked of wedding plans while he tried not to pass out. This final lie might have made him dizzy and sick, but it was the right thing to do. Right? If he hadn’t told that lie, then that second lie would have been for nothing. If he hadn’t told that lie, the other boy would have been hurt. If he hadn’t, than his father wouldn’t be proud. This lie left him miserable, but at least he wasn’t alone. Right?