The day started off with Kurt and I walking through the mall, our hands clasped and our fingers intertwined, arms swinging happily back and forth. I can't believe that I'm finally getting to spend time with him. Usually either one of us is too busy with work nowadays to actually get much free time to spend with each other. But today was an exception. I look over at Kurt. Of course he's happy to be shopping, but he's happy to be spending time with me too.

I can't help but stare at him. He looks so perfect. His light brown hair is styled perfectly today. His eyes are shining a beautiful, deep color of blue, and there's a small happy smile on his face. His pale white cheeks are covered by a light blush. He's wearing tight red pants, a white button up shirt, black suspenders and loafers. I feel nothing but love for this amazing man that I get to call my fiance.

Kurt turns to look at me, about to say something, and notices me staring. He blushes even more.

“I love you,” I say, before he gets the chance to say whatever is on his mind.

Kurt smiles at me.

“I love you too, Blaine” he replies.

“Well, congratulations hobbit.” Santana breaks the moment by interrupting with her snark. “You broke a new record today. You have gone exactly two whole minutes without voicing your mushy gay feelings all around the town in the most nauseous way possible. Hooray for you.” She starts clapping sarcastically at this.

Kurt rolls his eyes.

“Why exactly did we bring her along again?”

“You know exactly why, lady Hummel. If you didn't bring me along, there would be no one to stop Rachel from picking out a dress that looks like it came from her grandmother's closet. You would be too busy making goo-goo eyes at Blaine to even notice the atrocities of fashion and crimes against humanity that she would be committing.”

“Um, I'm right here,” Rachel says. She's walking behind us, while Santana is walking in front of us.

“Look guys,” Sam begins, “you really ought to be nice to each other. Lately I've been going to these yoga classes- well kind of like yoga mixed with Buddha- anyways, my teacher really stressed the importance of making amends, because you never know when your last day might be.”

Sam goes on for a while about his yoga class.

Kurt leans in to whisper in my ear.

“Next time, we are going shopping without them.”

“Well, that kind of defeats the purpose of the whole trip, don't you think?”

We were specifically at the mall to help Sam find a new outfit for his new modeling audition, and to help Rachel find a new dress for her next Broadway audition. Santana tagged along supposedly because she wanted to “help”, but I think it was just because she was bored.

“Okay, why don't we try to be productive with our time? Blaine can go help Sam find a shirt, and Santana and I will help Rachel find a dress. We'll all meet at the food court in two hours?”

“Sounds good to me,” said Sam.

Santana shrugged in agreement.

“Sounds better than having trouty mouth and the fuzzy haired troll following us everywhere.”

Rachel grabbed Kurt's arm.

“Great! Let's go!” She tries to pull Kurt in the direction of a Nordstrom's, but I'm still holding onto his hand.

“Honey,” he says, “I can't leave until you let go of my hand.”

I hesitated a little bit.

“I know, Kurt, but just be careful, okay?”

Kurt sighs in exasperation.

“Blaine, nothing bad is going to happen.”

“You don't know that!”

Rachel cuts in.

“Look, Blaine, calm down a little. Santana and I will be around him, and we'll monitor him to make sure nothing bad happens. If we see something strange, we'll call you, alright?”

“Yeah,” Santana agreed. “And with my psychic Mexican third eye, I'll see trouble coming from a mile away.”

This put me at ease a little.

“Well, I guess your third eye is never wrong.”

“I'm right here!” Kurt cried out. “And I'm not so fragile that I need to be babysat constantly. Guys, honestly, I'm fine.”

I raise my hands up in a sign of defeat. Santana and Rachel drag Kurt away. Rachel turns around discreetly to look at me. I mouth watch him. She mouths back don't worry, and holds his arm a little tighter.

Sam and I head off to a men's store nearby to look at shirts.

“So, I take it you're still really worried about Kurt, huh?”

“Well, it was only two weeks ago.” I sigh. “He tries to be so strong all of the time, but I just worry that he's overextending himself. Plus, the drugs do things to him.”

Two weeks ago, Kurt had gotten into a somewhat serious accident. He had been white water rafting, and his raft had tipped over. Kurt got trapped underneath it and had hit his head on a rock when he got pushed down by a rapid. Even though this had sent me into full panic mode for a good few days, he had ended up being okay despite a pretty nasty concussion. Now the only trouble was the pain meds. He was on some pretty strong medication for the pain, even two weeks after, and this tended to make him, well, a little loopy. He forgets where stuff is, why he is in a certain place, and sometimes he even forgets to do his hair, which is major for Kurt. Just last week, in fact, he was baking a batch of cookies, something I knew he knows how to do, and he totally froze. He had taken his meds right before he started, and I guess they kicked in while he was working. He started getting sloppier and messier throughout the whole process, until he finally just stuck them in the oven, forgetting half of the ingredients. We had to throw them away, since they were basically inedible, and he cried for half an hour, calling me a homicidal maniac, and saying that Cookie Monster's personal squad of police was going to come after us now. After, he fell asleep, and he didn't remember the incident at all when he woke up. So you can see why I tend to be a little protective of him now.

“Come on,” said Sam, “you don't really think anything crazy would happen in public, in the middle of the mall, do you?”

“I have no idea, Sam. I mean, you saw what he did to those muffins earlier, didn't you?”

“Yeah, he was dipping them right into his froyo. It was a pretty good idea, actually, but I was surprised Kurt was doing it.”

“Exactly. He's just not himself when he's on that medication. I'm so glad that he can stop taking them after tomorrow.”

“Well, I'm sure it'll be fine Blaine. I mean, Santana and Rachel are looking after him, so what could possibly go wrong?”

“You're right. I'm just overthinking. Here, let's find you a shirt that screams ‘camera-ready'.”

We try on shirts for the next three hours. Usually shopping with Sam doesn't take so long, but lately he's convinced that he's getting too fat, and he has to find the perfect shirt to hide his stomach. So after turning down every single suggestion that I made, and trying on at least 25 different shirts, he finally settles on one. It's a pinstripe white and blue one, and I swear he has one just like it at the apartment, but I say nothing. We head to the cashier to pay.

“Hey man, thanks for coming out with me. I know that it's probably killing you to be gone from Kurt for so long,” he says as he takes out his money to pay.

“Oh, it's not a big deal Sam. I'm happy to help.”

“Hold on, my phone's ringing.” He grabs the bag with one hand and his phone with the other.

“Hello? Oh hey Santana. Yeah, Blaine and I just finished, are you guys done?”

Sam takes the phone away from his ear and puts his hand over it.

“She says Rachel is being finicky.”

“I heard that!” we can hear Rachel yell through the phone.

Sam brings the phone to his ear to start talking again.

“What do you mean a situation?”

I look at Sam sharply.

“You lost Kurt?”

“What?!” I yell and grab Sam's phone out of his hand.

“Santana, please tell me this is a joke. Please tell me that you did not lose my fiance in New York City's biggest mall.”

“Calm down hobbit, we'll find him. Rachel and I were just trying on dresses for a minute, and we left him sitting right outside the dressing room. When we came out, he was gone.”

“Well did you try calling him?”

“No, actually, we didn't. That's a really good idea. Because that wouldn't be the very first thing we thought of.”

“Did he not answer?”

“Would I be talking to you if he had answered?”

“You know what Santana, I really don't need your attitude right now. You lost my fiance and now we have to find him. God knows what could be happening to him right now.”

“Look, calm down. He couldn't have gone too far, okay? It's only been five minutes. Let's all split up. Rachel can take the west side, you take north, I'll take south, and Sam can take the east. We'll meet in the middle. Sound fair?”

“Okay. Call me if you see him.”

“Will do.”

Santana hangs up. I turn to Sam.

“Okay Sam, you are going to take the east side of the mall, and I'm going to take the north. Rachel and Santana are looking too, and we're all going to meet in the middle.”

“Okay. Which floor should I start on?”

“Wait, this mall has floors?”

“Dude, this mall has like, five floors.”

“Oh, God,” I start having a mini panic attack. I lean onto a trash can for support.

“Hey, don't worry, we'll find him, alright?”

I can feel tears starting to come out of my eyes. I start to nod my head.

“Okay,” I whisper.

“Come on, let's start looking. We'll find Kurt in no time.”

We run in separate directions. My heart is racing. I start yelling out his name.

“Kurt! KURT!”

I run into every store. I try describing him to people.

“Excuse me ma'am,” I say to the elderly clerk stocking shelves with stuffed animals at Toys-R-Us (since when was any mall big enough to have a Toys -R-Us?!)

“I'm looking for my fiance. He's tall, has light brown hair, green-blue-ish eyes and an impeccable taste in clothes. Have you seen him around today?”

I can't help the way my voice sounds all choked up and how I start tearing up even more. “He's on some medication and he's lost and not really acting like himself and I'm just worried…”

“Woah, woah, slow down there sweetie.” The old lady places a calming hand on my shoulder.

“I'm sure you'll find him. You know, the way you describe him, I think I did see someone like that come on earlier.”

“Really?!”

“Yeah! Was he wearing skin tight red pants?”

“Yes! That's him!” I start jumping up and down. “Tell me everything you know!”

“Well, he came in and he was very excited. Said he was going to build a rocket ship to fly to Neverland, and how he needed to buy some jump ropes first so that he could win some kind of a contest.”

Oh Kurt.

“Do you know where he went?”

“No, but there is a toy drive happening upstairs by the Rainforest Cafe. Maybe he took them there.”

“Thank you so much ma'am!”

I race off to the stairs to get to the Rainforest Cafe.

“Kurt! KURT!” I begin yelling his name as soon as I get nearby.

A middle aged woman sitting on a bench outside the cafe stops me. She has short brown hair, cut into a fashionable pixie cut. She's wearing a red sundress and a jean jacket. She has a little girl sitting next to her. The girl is adorable, with a cascade of curly brown hair flowing down her head, and a bright blue dress on.

“Are you looking for Kurt Hummel?”

“Yes! Oh my goodness, please tell me that you've seen him. He's my fiance.”

The little girl starts clapping excitedly.

“I know him! He taught me how to jump rope!”

“Jump rope?” I ask, a little confused.

Her mother laughs.

“A pretty attractive guy with this light brown hair, wearing these bright red pants on was walking around upstairs. I had turned around to pull out money from the ATM, and apparently some of my daughters classmates had come in and started talking to her. They were making fun of her because she didn't know how to jump rope. She started to cry, and Kurt, your fiance, came over and started defending her.”

“He promised to teach me!” the little girl yelled excitedly.

“Then he ran to Toys-R-Us, and came back with two jump ropes. He actually started teaching my daughter how to jump rope in the middle of the mall. Can you believe it?” She laughed.

“Yeah, I can believe that. You wouldn't happen to know where he went, would you?”

“Um, no actually, I don't.”
“I know!”

The woman turned to look at her daughter.

“Did Kurt tell you where he was going, Suzie?”

“Yeah, he said he was going to buy a lightsaber.”

“A lightsaber?”

“Yeah!”

Her mother laughed again.

“Oh, don't mind Suzie, she tends to make up some tall tales every once in a while.”

“But it's not a tall tale! It's the truth!”

“It's okay ma'am, I think I know where he might be. Thank you very much.” I wave goodbye.

“No problem, I hope you find him.”

“I hope so too.”

I walk towards the other side of the mall. If Kurt was looking for a lightsaber, then there's only one place he could be. I started running towards the nerd store. At least that's what Kurt likes to call it. Really, it's just a store full of anime plushies, as well as superhero and tv show costumes and knick knacks.

When I reach the store I almost run into a heavyset Indian man with a pile of Naruto plushies in his arms.

“Hey man! Watch where you're going!”

“Sorry!” I say quickly. “I'm just looking for someone and I'm kind of in a hurry.”

The man's face softened in a little in sympathy.

“Hey, I'm real sorry man. That's tough, losing someone in this mall. It's massive.”

“Yeah, tell me about it.”

“Can you describe him a little? Maybe I've seen him.”

“Okay, well, he's tall, good looking, got light brown hair styled up, and he's wearing red pants.”

“Oh! I think I know who you're talking about! Is he dressed as Darth Vader?”

I suck in a breath.

“I guess so, yeah.”

“Yeah, he was leaving just as I got here, said that he had to go buy a tambourine.”

What?

“A tambourine?”
“Yeah, said it was for his band.”

Why on earth would Kut need a tambourine for Pamela Lansbury?

“Okay, thank you so much.”

“Hey, no problem. I hope you find him. He was a real cutie. And if you ever get tired of him, feel free to send him my direction.” He gives me a nasty wink, and I notice the crunchy crust surrounding his eye. Gross.

I start running to the Blechardo's, the music store that was in the mall. It was all the way on the first floor. I was on the fourth. With all the people here today, it takes me a good ten minutes before I get down there. As I'm walking down, I get a phone call from Rachel.

“Did you find him?!”

“No,” she says. “I'm still looking. I'm following a lead that a toothless, hairy old man that looked a little like Santa gave me. He said that Kurt was sitting at a table, with a sign that said ‘free psychic readings' and that Kurt gave him this awesome fortune of how he is going to get married for the fifth time. So now I'm looking for a psychic table.”

“Okay, well I guess Kurt's been really busy today. I just saw a man that said that Kurt was dressed up as Darth Vader, and he was going to buy a tambourine for his band.”

“For Pamela Lansbury? Why would we need a tambourine?”

“I don't know! Just keep looking for that psychic table. I'm going to Blechardo's to see if I can't find him there.”

“Okay, call me if you see him.”

“Okay, bye Rach.”

I hang up the phone and run to the tambourine section at Blechardo's. I look around for Kurt, but I don't see anyone in red pants or in a Darth Vader costume. A clerk comes up to me. She is fairly young, and she has beautiful dark brown skin and curly hair. She speaks with a thick British accent.

“Excuse me sir, do you need help looking for something?”

I turn to her, my voice full of desperation.

“Yes! I'm looking for my fiance. He should've come here looking for a tambourine.”

“Oh, you mean that chap in the Darth Vader costume? Yeah, I remember him. Can't forget someone like that, really. I helped him buy a tambourine, a recorder, a harmonica, and a slide whistle. He was pretty excited. Said it was for his band.”

I was so confused. What on earth did Kurt think he was going to do with all that?

“Do you know where he went, miss?”

“Yes, actually. He said that his band was playing by the food court. He invited me to go and check them out later. Nice bloke, really. But I said I couldn't go. Made him a little sad.”

“The food court? Alright, thank you so much.”

“Absolutely sir, hope you find him. And if you do, feel free to send him this way again, if you please. He sure did attract a lot of customers, what with standing outside the store in a costume and singing God Bless America in all those different accents like he did.”

I couldn't believe it. The things Kurt did when he was on drugs.

“Wait, he really did that?”

“Sure enough, I got a video and everything.”

She pulls out her phone and shows me a video. Sure enough, there's Kurt in a Darth Vader costume, parading in front of the store like an absolute loony. He's waving around what looks like a baton, and he's marching with one hand on his hip while singing a medley of patriotic songs.

“Oh good grief.”

“It was pretty funny actually. You should've been there.”

I sigh.

“Look, I have to go find him, before he does anything crazier, but first, do you mind sending me that video?”

After I get the video from the nice music store clerk, I run out towards the food court. I get a call from Sam.

“Sam! Did you find him?!”

“Um, no, but I walked into a mattress store, and apparently Kurt came in and started a pillow fight.”

“What?”

“Yeah, the store manager said he was dressed up in a cape, and he started jumping up on mattresses, yelling ‘Kurt rules the world!' and hitting customers over the head with pillows.”

“Oh my gosh, okay. We're gonna find him. I think he might be in the food court. Meet me there.”

“Alright bro. But your fiance is crazy on drugs. It's a good thing that he hasn't gotten into them hardcore or anything, you know? Who knows what what could happen if he did.”

“Yeah, I know. Okay, meet you there Sam.”

I hang up and quickly make my way over to the food court. I run into Santana and Rachel.

“Blaine!” Santana calls out.

“Some old lady at Bath and Body Works told me that Kurt came in dressed in a Darth Vader costume and bought a bottle of carnation scented body spray. Apparently he dumped it all over himself and said that he was coming to the food court to play a song with his band!” Rachel cries out.

“That's what I heard too!” I pause. “Well at least the band part,” I reply.

“Well some guy at Radio Shack told me that Kurt was running around skipping and singing Frank Sinatra songs and dancing with pretzels in his hands. How on earth does Porcelain manage to do so much in forty minutes, yet it takes him an hour and a half on a daily basis just to do his hair?”  

“Guys!” Sam runs up to us, arms waving in a frenzy. “I see him! I see Kurt! Look!” He points the opposite direction of where we're facing. We all turn around.

“Kurt!” I yell out at him.

Kurt is up on a platform in the middle of the food court. It looks as though it could be a stage. He's still wearing that Darth Vader costume, minus the mask, and now he has a paper crown from Burger King on his head. He's holding a tambourine, and before anyone can stop him, he starts walking up to the microphone on the stage. He's walking with a weird sway in his gait. He speaks into the mike.

“Hello New York Mall! Are you ready to rock n' roll?!”

People in the food court turn to start looking at him. There are a few weak cheers. Kurt starts talking in a Darth Vader voice.

“I'm sorry, I can't hear you shoppers! I said are you ready to get your dark side on?!”

At this, Kurt turns around and picks up a basket from seemingly nowhere. It's full of chocolates, which he starts throwing at people. For whatever reason, this really gets people going. The mall shoppers start cheering for him wildly.

“That's what I thought! Now let's get some music goin' on up in here!”

Kurt throws the remaining chocolates and runs off stage. All of a sudden the lights dim. Sam looks at me confused.

“Um, what's going on?” asks Rachel.

“I have no idea,” I say.

We keep our eyes fixed on the stage. Fog starts coming out of nowhere. There's a beat, and we can see little strips of color floating on the stage, illuminated by black lights. Not floating, actually. They're attached to something. What are they attached to? I look closer.

“Oh my goodness.” Rachel starts laughing. Up on stage is Kurt, still in his Darth Vader costume, but it looks like he put strips of glow in the dark duct tape all over himself. He's dancing and singing the song “Papaoutai” while moving like a robot. Strobe lights are flashing all around. But there's someone next to him.

“Is that a kid next to him?” Sam asks.

“Yeah, I think so,” I say.

“It's like a mini Kurt!” Santana yells.

There's a little boy on the stage, also wearing a Darth Vader costume with strips of tape all over it. He's dancing in unison with Kurt and singing. People around us are taking videos of Kurt and cheering for him, jumping up and down and yelling.

When they reach the chorus, all of a sudden, a bunch of little kids are on stage, dancing and singing with him. They're not exactly in unison, but they are cute. As ridiculous as this whole ordeal has been, and as stressed out as I am, I can't stop myself from admitting how cute it is to see Kurt and a bunch of kids singing in French and dancing like robots. I pull out my phone to start recording too.

Eventually, the song ends and the lights come back on. The crowd goes crazy for all of them.

“Thank you New York City! Please donate to the New York Children's Hospital! Have a nice day!”

Kurt hops off the stage. He stumbles a little bit. Someone from the audience sees this.

“Hey! He needs help! Let's carry him!” a random guy from the audience shouts.

“Which way?” someone else asks.

“My fiance is over there!” Kurt points over towards us. All of a sudden, the crowd picks him up and he crowd surfs over to us. They set him down in front of us.

“Sweetie!” Kurt yells out. He holds out his arms. I start to step towards him, but before I can reach him, he steps forward and grabs Rachel in his arms. He tips her over violently.

“Kurt!” she yells in an attempt to stop him.

“Shh,” he says, putting a finger to her lips. “It's been too long my dear.” Then he pulls her back up to him and kisses her deeply on the lips. Even Rachel's obvious cringe doesnt stop him. They break to loud cheers and whistles from the crowd. Rachel is in shock.

         "Oh my God, Kurt! Whats wrong with you?!"

       He looks confused. "What do you mean?"

       "Kurt! Youre gay! How could you forget?"

      "Oh! Thats right! Silly me."

      He walks up to Sam.

     "Im so sorry my dear."

     He plants a kiss on Sams lips. I wouldnt have really cared, of course, seeing as Kurt was basically high and Sam is straight. The only problem was that, for a straight man, Sam seemed way too into kissing my fiance. There were more loud cheers and whistles.

    "Alright, alright." I step forward to pull them apart.

    Kurt looks at me in surprise.  

    "Im sorry, and you are?"

Im left speechless. Santana steps in.

     "Alright lady Hummel, Ive had enough of this nonsense today. Were taking you home."

     Santana grabs his arm. Kurt jerks it away.  

"Dont touch me, peasant!"

    "Okay Kurt, calm down," Rachel says.

    "I dont wanna call down!"

   Sam grabs him.

   "Come on guys, we gotta get him before he runs away again."

   I help Sam by grabbing Kurts other arm. Hes not very strong as a result of being drowsy from the drugs. Its easy to drag him to the car. We throw him in and buckle him up. Santana and Rachel sit on either side and pin his shoulders down. Hes yelling for the first five minutes, and then hes crying for the next ten, until he falls asleep. Sam and I carry him up to the apartment and drop him very ungracefully on the bed.

    "I nominate Blaine to stay with Kurt until he wakes up!"  yells Sam.

   Rachel and Santana voice their agreement and they all run out before I can protest. Damn it. Kurt is always such a diva when he wakes up from drug induced sleep. I sit down next to him and run my fingers through his hair. Despite all the crazy he is, I still love this man. I lay down and close my eyes, while holding him in my arms.

"Blaine."

I rub my eyes and roll over, putting a pillow over my head.

"Blaine," Kurt says again. This time he shoves me a little.

    "What?" I ask in a snippy voice. I sit up and turn to look at him. I instantly regret bring cold when I look at his face. His hair is sticking up on all directions, his voice is low and hoarse, his eyes are puffy from crying, and he looks really sad and lost.

“What happened?" he asks.

"Do you seriously not remember anything?"

"No, all I remember us being at the mall shopping with Rachel and Santana. Why are we back at the loft? Did we finish?"

I debate on how much I should actually tell him.

"Well, you kind of went on a drug induced frenzy."

His face blanches, and I can see the anxiety that hes feeling.

"What did I do?"

"Uh, well..."

"Blaine, just tell me."

"Well, to start off, you got lost."

"And?"

"And... you dressed up as Darth Vader."

"Is that all? Oh, thats not so bad."

"Well no..."

"Oh God..."

"You also had a jump rope competition with a little girl, you pretended to be a psychic, you attacked people with pillows, you twirled a baton and sang patriotic songs in front of the music store, and you lead a team of little kids and danced and sang in French."

"Blaine! You let me do all that?!"

"You say that like I couldve possibly stopped you."

"Ugh!" He flops back onto the bed and covers his face with a pillow.

"Im so embarrassed."

"Well if that embarrasses you, I probably shouldnt tell you the last bit."

"Theres something else?" He sits up again. "Blaine," he says, grabbing my arm. "Tell me."

"Well... you kissed Sam and Rachel."

"What?!" Kurt voice goes very high as he yells.

“Okay, calm down…”

“Calm down?! I kissed Sam and Rachel?! How do I not remember this?” He continues raving for a few seconds, eyes wild and confused. But then his emotions change. His face softens and his eyes still, and he looks at me with a sadness in his eyes. When he speaks again, his voice is timid and small.

“Blaine, I-I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to…”

“Kurt, you don't have to apologize.”

“I cheated on you! How could I?! Blaine!” Kurt grabs my arm desperately. “Forgive me, please forgive me! I love you, I swear! You know I would never do something like that on purpose!”

“Kurt, Kurt! Slow down!” I put my arms around him. He starts crying in my arms. I talk to him in a low, quiet voice and try to calm his nerves.
“Kurt, it's okay, I know that you didn't mean it. And I know that you love me, I love you too.”

He sobs a little louder at this. I draw myself even closer to him, if that's possible.

“I care about you so much, and I would never let something silly like you kissing Rachel and Sam when you're high on meds keep me from you, okay?”

I can feel Kurt's head nod against my chest. We stay like that for a few moments, sitting in bed, Kurt curled into me, soft white blankets wrinkled and strewn everywhere on our bed.

“Hey Blaine,” he says softly.

“Yeah Kurt?”

“Did I do good when I was singing?”

I laugh a little.

“You did amazing, as always.”

“Did I make a cool Darth Vader?”

“Only the coolest.”

“Hey Blaine,” Kurt says again, only a little more hesitantly this time.

“Yes Kurt?”

“Did Rachel seem really grossed out when I kissed her?”

I hesitate.

“Yes, she did, but that doesn't mean anything Kurt…”

“Did Sam?” he interrupts.

“Uh...no, not as much as one would've liked.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, in fact, he seemed to enjoy it a little too much.”

Kurt blushes at this. I feel a twinge of jealousy. Okay, more than a twinge.

“Oh, hell no.”

“Blaine!” Kurt looks at me, a little shocked.

“There is no way you are allowed to be pleased with that!”

“Well, Sam is pretty attractive, I mean you liked him! And I don't anymore, it just feels nice that he liked it!”

At that same moment, there is a knock on the door. Kurt and I both get up and run to open it. Speaking of the devil, it's Sam.

“Hey guys! Dudes, check out this video of Kurt that went viral on Youtube! It's the one of you doing that song with those kids! It's got like a couple million views and…. hey!”

I start pushing Sam out the door.

“Sam, it was really nice seeing you, but Kurt and I were just in the middle of some crazy, kinky gay sex. I'm sure you wouldn't want to stay around for that.”

“Blaine!” Kurt protests. He looks at Sam. “That is definitely not true.”

“Aw, no, don't worry about it dudes. I can totally understand where you're coming from Blaine. Especially now that I got a little taste of what Kurt is like.”

Sam has the audacity to wink at Kurt. Kurt stands shocked, his mouth gaping.

“Get out Sam!” I continue pushing him out of the door.

“Okay! But you guys really gotta watch that video!” He continues to talk, but we can't hear him once I close the door. I stand stiffly now, fists clenched, breaths coming out slow and uneven. Kurt puts his arms around me.

“You know, it's incredibly hot to see you get all jealous like this.”

“I am not jealous.”

Kurt gives me a look.

“Okay, fine, I'm a little jealous.”

We both start giggling.

“Look,” Kurt begins, “how about we just never bring this up again? That way, you don't have to think about me kissing Sam, and I don't have to think about me twirling a baton and singing patriotic songs in front of Blechardo's. Deal?”

I hug him as tightly as I can and then give him a kiss.

“Deal.”