fabfemmeboy
Feb. 7, 2012, 2:33 p.m.
Togetherness
Kurt tries to figure out why of course he wouldn't say no, but he feels like Rachel ' or Finn ' should. Set during 3x12 between the sleepover and the weight room.
K - Words: 963 - Last Updated: Feb 07, 2012 957 0 1 2 Characters: Blaine Anderson, Finn Hudson, Kurt Hummel, Rachel Berry, Tags: established relationship,
He wished he could be the kind of person who could be a hypocrite and not care.
He couldn't stop thinking about Rachel's news. Even once they had finished Twilight (and he was perfectly happy to let Bella have the pasty vampire if it meant Taylor Lautner was available) and moved on to watching the full-episode preview of “Smash” for the twelfth time, he couldn't stop glancing at the top of her shirt. While he never thought he would stare so much at the skin beneath a girl's camisole, it was like he couldn't not look at the chain that led to that...ridiculous ring.
But she did have a point. Of course she said yes – she was in love with Finn. And if Blaine asked him...
Eyepatch, cold ankles, and love of Katy Perry aside, the boy was a catch. Who wouldn't say yes?
They had talked about it – a little. In the abstract. No one had asked the four-word million-dollar question, but they watched the New York marriage vote together and just kept repeating the words “New York” over and over to each other. Because after they talked in May, they knew that was where they were going. They were going to be in New York in just a few short years, and with that vote...they had options. Legal ones, at any rate.
Because even without the legal options, even without those four little words (six, if he counted the name of the person being asked), they still knew what they wanted. They were going to move to New York, pursue their dreams in music, have a cramped-yet-fabulous apartment – first a studio, while they went to school and became established, and eventually a beautiful loft complete with Mise Van Der Rohe furniture. They would find the perfect little coffee shop on the Upper West Side to get their afternoon mocha and medium drip, and they would need to work extra jobs to pay for their bowtie and sweater habits, but it would all be perfect because they had each other.
It was what both of them wanted.
And that was why it was different. That was why he and Blaine getting married – well, as soon as Blaine turned 18 anyway – made sense, and Rachel and Finn made him instinctively uneasy. His and Blaine's dreams lay in the same direction, it was what they both wanted, what would bring both of them success.
Kurt had known what he wanted for as long as he could remember, and when he'd told Blaine, he was worried it would be a dealbreaker – that Blaine had dreams in LA or Chicago or, god-forbid, Ohio – and they would be destined to be apart as soon as he graduated because they couldn't make it work without one or the other sacrificing everything he wanted. But Blaine had said that New York sounded amazing and that he would love to sing on a Broadway stage one day, to play in coffee shops all through the Village, to take in all the magic of the city...and everything had clicked into place.
They talked about it often, the future. About what they would do when Kurt went off to school a year before Blaine could, about where they would live, about colour schemes for their kitchen. It wasn't just about Blaine being there in all of his dreams, like some figure placed into his vision of the future with no rhyme or reason; Blaine was part of his dreams.
Rachel and Finn weren't like that.
Finn wasn't going to the city because he wanted to, he was going because he didn't want to lose Rachel and he didn't know where else to go. He was going because he didn't think he was worth thinking about. He was going because Rachel had dreams, and he wanted Rachel.
And that wasn't right.
He and Finn didn't really talk about a lot of things, and Finn wasn't nearly as demonstrative about his emotions, but it wasn't hard to tell how upset he'd been lately – and Kurt could appreciate that. He could understand that. But he'd been alone through most of it (save Blaine, of course), and that wasn't what was supposed to happen now that they were brothers. Not after they sat in Finn's room in silence until Finn haltingly mumbled all the things he felt like were lies, all the things he was scared of now that he knew the truth about his dad, and Kurt quietly admitted things about his mom that hadn't been perfect – things no one had mentioned in more than a decade. They were supposed to look out for each other now, and he wasn't about to let Finn give up on himself.
Kurt remembered too well what that felt like. He'd given up on the idea of ever finding anyone who could appreciate him – hell, anyone who didn't hate him. And now he had a boyfriend who might one day be his husband and a future they were planning together. Finn needed to know he had options.
There wasn't just one school in New York, anyway. Or one school in the country with a football team. And it wasn't like a lot of places, where living on another campus meant driving half an hour to visit your girlfriend – they could all get an apartment in the middle and commute if they had to. Especially because Blaine's dad was already starting to blow a gasket at even the mention of art schools, so he might end up at Columbia.
If they wanted to get married...Kurt could understand that. He could understand not being able to imagine not being with the person he loved more than anything. He could see the value in promising forever to one another.
But only for the right reasons.
He couldn't stop thinking about Rachel's news. Even once they had finished Twilight (and he was perfectly happy to let Bella have the pasty vampire if it meant Taylor Lautner was available) and moved on to watching the full-episode preview of “Smash” for the twelfth time, he couldn't stop glancing at the top of her shirt. While he never thought he would stare so much at the skin beneath a girl's camisole, it was like he couldn't not look at the chain that led to that...ridiculous ring.
But she did have a point. Of course she said yes – she was in love with Finn. And if Blaine asked him...
Eyepatch, cold ankles, and love of Katy Perry aside, the boy was a catch. Who wouldn't say yes?
They had talked about it – a little. In the abstract. No one had asked the four-word million-dollar question, but they watched the New York marriage vote together and just kept repeating the words “New York” over and over to each other. Because after they talked in May, they knew that was where they were going. They were going to be in New York in just a few short years, and with that vote...they had options. Legal ones, at any rate.
Because even without the legal options, even without those four little words (six, if he counted the name of the person being asked), they still knew what they wanted. They were going to move to New York, pursue their dreams in music, have a cramped-yet-fabulous apartment – first a studio, while they went to school and became established, and eventually a beautiful loft complete with Mise Van Der Rohe furniture. They would find the perfect little coffee shop on the Upper West Side to get their afternoon mocha and medium drip, and they would need to work extra jobs to pay for their bowtie and sweater habits, but it would all be perfect because they had each other.
It was what both of them wanted.
And that was why it was different. That was why he and Blaine getting married – well, as soon as Blaine turned 18 anyway – made sense, and Rachel and Finn made him instinctively uneasy. His and Blaine's dreams lay in the same direction, it was what they both wanted, what would bring both of them success.
Kurt had known what he wanted for as long as he could remember, and when he'd told Blaine, he was worried it would be a dealbreaker – that Blaine had dreams in LA or Chicago or, god-forbid, Ohio – and they would be destined to be apart as soon as he graduated because they couldn't make it work without one or the other sacrificing everything he wanted. But Blaine had said that New York sounded amazing and that he would love to sing on a Broadway stage one day, to play in coffee shops all through the Village, to take in all the magic of the city...and everything had clicked into place.
They talked about it often, the future. About what they would do when Kurt went off to school a year before Blaine could, about where they would live, about colour schemes for their kitchen. It wasn't just about Blaine being there in all of his dreams, like some figure placed into his vision of the future with no rhyme or reason; Blaine was part of his dreams.
Rachel and Finn weren't like that.
Finn wasn't going to the city because he wanted to, he was going because he didn't want to lose Rachel and he didn't know where else to go. He was going because he didn't think he was worth thinking about. He was going because Rachel had dreams, and he wanted Rachel.
And that wasn't right.
He and Finn didn't really talk about a lot of things, and Finn wasn't nearly as demonstrative about his emotions, but it wasn't hard to tell how upset he'd been lately – and Kurt could appreciate that. He could understand that. But he'd been alone through most of it (save Blaine, of course), and that wasn't what was supposed to happen now that they were brothers. Not after they sat in Finn's room in silence until Finn haltingly mumbled all the things he felt like were lies, all the things he was scared of now that he knew the truth about his dad, and Kurt quietly admitted things about his mom that hadn't been perfect – things no one had mentioned in more than a decade. They were supposed to look out for each other now, and he wasn't about to let Finn give up on himself.
Kurt remembered too well what that felt like. He'd given up on the idea of ever finding anyone who could appreciate him – hell, anyone who didn't hate him. And now he had a boyfriend who might one day be his husband and a future they were planning together. Finn needed to know he had options.
There wasn't just one school in New York, anyway. Or one school in the country with a football team. And it wasn't like a lot of places, where living on another campus meant driving half an hour to visit your girlfriend – they could all get an apartment in the middle and commute if they had to. Especially because Blaine's dad was already starting to blow a gasket at even the mention of art schools, so he might end up at Columbia.
If they wanted to get married...Kurt could understand that. He could understand not being able to imagine not being with the person he loved more than anything. He could see the value in promising forever to one another.
But only for the right reasons.