Having him there, with him, makes everything more real, more concrete. More.. off.

It makes him question everything.

He'd never say it aloud, but having Blaine there was throwing everything out of proportion. Adam had seemed perfect, flawless, interesting, exotic, tempting. He'd seemed like the Forbidden Fruit, the perfect savior, the knight in shining armor, the saving grace. Kurt had placed a lot of hope into him.

Considering it objectively, removing himself from the conflict and replacing himself with someone with exactly his problems but not him, he realized how off things were before the wedding and being really reunited with Blaine. How it wasn't Adam who was the Forbidden Fruit, but Blaine, always Blaine.

Kurt hardly knew Adam. He was someone he'd met during his mourning of Blaine's and his relationships's tragic end, who found him attractive and made him feel special. Like Chandler had.

Kurt likes to think that when he had compared Adam to Chandler is when things clarified themselves because when Kurt had been with Chandler, or had been texting Chandler, he'd done it because he'd wanted affection from Blaine, which seems contradicting, but isn't. Blaine had been distant then, so he'd reached out to someone else.

Saying Blaine was distant now is one way of describing their fallout, and Kurt might have suspected that his blooming relationship with Adam had been him replacing Blaine's affections again with one small problem.

Adam wasn't Blaine.

In all honestly, Kurt had known Adam was just a passing phase. Kurt had forgiven Blaine long ago, maybe at Christmas, most likely before, at Thanksgiving, or even during the Grease performance; but he was afraid and couldn't reconcile his mind and his emotions, and Blaine couldn't be forgiven so quickly when it'd hurt so bad.

It really hit, the matter of Adam's temporancy, when Kurt had gone back to Lima, Ohio for Will and Emma's wedding-if you can still call it an actual wedding with a runaway bride.

Having Blaine as his date was a temptation, a challenge he'd set; but Blaine was still his charming self, adorable, dapper, with a mature tie, gelled hair, an earnest white smile, and wide honest eyes. Kurt had half expected him to have changed, even now, because cheaters weren't this sweet and affable, right?

The groping in the car had gone less pleasantly than expected, only because of the disappointment of being cut short by Mercedes. Kurt had really not wanted to be hard during the ceremony, thank you, although the ceremony wasn't as long as anyone had expected, all considered. Tina cornering him, he could have definitely gone without, although fits of jealousy were revealing, but the real matter of it all, the eye-opening moment was being back in the hotel room with Blaine.

Kurt remembered his father's words about sex and love and mattering because people mattered and sex mattered and Blaine, Kurt was unsurprised to find, still mattered.

Kurt had fallen into limbo, maybe took a wrong turn straight into the pearly gates of Heaven, tumbled headfirst into an abyss of Blaine so deeply his head fogged, his heart thumped, and his palms sweated. Blaine, he'd found, was still perfectly Blaine; a gentlemen in everything he does, considerate in lovemaking and emotions, fun and lovely and amazing.

Kurt found he regretted nothing.

Despite what he'd prepared himself for, maybe angry or aloof sex, Kurt rediscovered perfection. Blaine's body still slotted perfectly with his, their limbs still moved in languid synchronization, their breaths exhaled with pleasured gasps, their voices begged with pleading heat, and their eyes burned with fierce love.

Regardless of what he'd said to Blaine, regardless of how he'd pushed it aside, Kurt found himself festering their love inside himself again. He remembered Rachel's warnings, he remembered Adam again and how they're sort of together and now he'd cheated, too, now. He remembered how many times that night he told Blaine they were just friends, and he remembered his argument with Tina.

Remembering, he knows what he wants to do, what his heart and body and damn near every fiber in his body yearns to do, but he second guesses himself. Blaine cheated.

That's the thing, that's the niggling little sensation. Practically everyone in the Glee club had cheated on a significant other at some point, hell, even Mercedes had. Cheating was such a repulsing resort of the conflicted. Blaine had despised it, too, even the non-physical sort. Again, Chandler.

Yet.. Well, here we are, aren't we? Blaine had cheated, though. It was something Kurt could never deny, something that would never change. Cheaters were despicable things, ipso facto, Blaine was a despicable thing; but Kurt didn't despise Blaine. Not even a little bit.

While seeing Blaine had clarified things with love and Blaine's and Adam's relation and given Kurt keenly needed catharsis, there was no changing Blaine's infidelity and the subsequent broken trust.

So, where does that leave them?

Kurt wished he knew.