Sept. 28, 2013, 7 p.m.
Always You
This has been on Fanfiction for a while now. Contains spoilers for 4x14. How the talk in the hotel room should have turned out.
T - Words: 1,905 - Last Updated: Sep 28, 2013 752 0 0 0 Categories: Cotton Candy Fluff, Romance,
A/N: I have no idea what happened at the end there... It wasn't meant to get so cheesy. Reviews are very, very, very much welcome and are definitely very much appreciated.
"Tell me now that we're not back together." Blaine said, spreading his hands out in front of him. He knew Kurt. He knew him well enough to know that he wouldn't give in so easily. Hell, Blaine could even handle a single, straightforward 'No' at the moment because there was no way Kurt was going to give him a simple 'yes' for an answer. No matter how much he wanted him to. No matter how much Kurt wanted himself to.
"I mean," Kurt swallowed deeply, shrugging lightly as he pushed the second last button of his dress shirt into it's hole. He let his arms fall down to his sides as he drew in a nervous breath, trying to control himself. He wanted to say yes. He wanted to say yes so bad. Being with Blaine made him feel almost alive again. Adam was great. He made him laugh and smile but Blaine... Blaine made him feel everything all at once. Made him think back to the moment on the Dalton Academy staircase. It could have been anyone he pulled aside but, no, it was Blaine. His best friend, boyfriend, lover... Kurt stared at his reflection looking back at him through the thin panel of glass, "It was fun but-"
"Don't." It came out sharper than Blaine had intended it to, "I'm not going to let you minimize this, Kurt." And he meant it. He was sick of them toying along and acting as just friends when clearly the spark was still there. It had never died and not even a million Eli C's could put it out. Blaine started to move off the bed, grabbing Kurt's jacket as he did. "It was no accident that we were together on Christmas and again on Valentines day." He slid the jacket up through the taller boy's arms. It was one thing he loved the most about Kurt. His height. "And we're going to be together for many, many more no matter how much you pretend that this doesn't mean anything."
Blaine let his hands rest on Kurt's shoulders as they took in their reflections. Even after everything the two of them still seemed perfect like two puzzle pieces. Broken when apart but full together.
Kurt let a smile creep up to his lips. He couldn't argue with Blaine because he too knew that it was no accident what they did tonight or last Christmas. He blushed slightly at the though of the still winter's night. He could still feel Blaine's skin on his, sleek with sweat and stained with the shadows of the flickering candle on the bed side. The way Blaine moved with so much grace still made him shiver. He loved the feel of Blaine's fleeting, gentle touches on his skin. That night brought back so much passion that it hurt to think about it.
Hearing those animalistic growls made it seem like nothing had changed. The want was still there between them. He could tell by the way Blaine's hands moved up his sides craving and desperate to touch every part of exposed skin. The way Blaine moved under him looking so vulnerable and nervous and yet having enough trust in him even after everything they had been through.
Kurt shifted unnoticeably as he recalled Blaine's rushed pleas of how much he needed Kurt. How he always needed him and how it has always been him. Maybe it was the heat of the moment because both boys didn't mention it after as they lay limbs sprawled across the thick cotton sheets with their chests heaving and hearts pounding.
"I've-" Kurt paused, still coming down from his high. He still couldn't believe what he'd done. He was meant to be mad at Blaine! Mad at him for breaking what they had not lying here drenched in sweat and completely exhilarated by what he had just done with his ex. "I should go." Kurt sat up almost to fast and started frantically shifting through the sheets till he found his clothes. He started pulling them on, his hands working faster than they ever had.
Blaine sat up, hazel eyes still wide and dilated with lust. "Kurt, we should talk-"
"There's nothing to talk about!" Kurt blinked, surprised at his own frantic outburst. He wanted to forgive Blaine more than anything at that moment. He wanted Blaine to spoon him into his warm chest and whisper sweet nothings like they used to do every time after they made love but he knew that it wasn't love they just made. They just had sex. Sex for the sake of, well, sex and he knew that he couldn't let himself give in like that to his emotions. He wasn't going to let one heated moment change the fact of what Blaine had done.
"Kurt?" Blaine's voice caused Kurt to jump in shock as he blinked the memories away. In an instant blue eyes locked with brown and it seemed like the world froze. "Are you okay?"
Kurt had to blink a few times to register the moment. "I'm fine."
Blaine studied his face knowing very well that Kurt had been deep in thought lost in a flood of memories. Were they memories of him? Of them? Of everything that they had been through? He couldn't tell but there was hope within him.
Blaine knew that what he did was wrong. He also knew that he loved Kurt more than anything in this whole damned world. He loved the flood of endless blue in those eyes. He missed the way Kurts hands slipped into the back pockets of his jeans to pull him near for a kiss. Blaine missed having to stand on his toes to kiss the tall boy across the forehead. He missed the way Kurt's fingers treaded through his wild curls. The lazy afternoons on the Hummel's couch. The same couch that they had made love on to many times to count. He missed the way Kurt would always hum the song Teenage Dream to him when he had a bad dream or day. How Kurt would remind Blaine that he was so beautiful and so loved. He missed the way Kurt's hands caressed his skin, the soft kisses that would be placed to his hip bones.
Kurt was the most amazing man he had met in his life and he would damned if he was going to loose him over some guy who friended him on Facebook.
"You're thinking." Kurt observed, restraining himself from cupping Blaine's face in his hands and kissing those full lips.
Blaine shook his head, "Remembering."
The blue-eyed boy knew but still asked, "What?"
"Us." Was all that needed to be said. The boys stared at each other for a long second processing this moment. Processing their thoughts. The moment was broken when Kurt's eyes fell to his feet with a silent "Oh."
Silence is what followed. It was so loud that Blaine could swear for a second that he had gone deaf. There used to be many silences between them when lingering, languid touches and kisses was all that was needed to be said because words were just not enough.
"Me too." Kurt's reply finally came. It was silent but audible. Blaine's brows furrowed making Kurt smile. That boy did have the most triangular eyebrows Kurt had ever seen on a human being and every time Blaine frowned it just looked more triangular- if that was possible. "I want to forgive you-"
"Then do!" It was almost a plead.
Kurt shook his head softly, "I can't Blaine!" Kurt bit down on his bottom lip to stop the welling of tears in his eyes. "If I do what's going to happen, huh? Let's just face it. You live here and I live in New York and I know that we said we could make this work but Blaine, we all know what happened. This long distance thing will just break us again and we can't afford to put each other through that again."
"Kurt please," Blaine moved back slightly so he could take Kurt's delicate hands in his, "I love you, Kurt. I always have and I always will and I know that you say that distance is the problem-"
"The distance is the problem-"
"But this is killing me!" Both boys were on the verge of tears. If it hadn't been for Kurt's hands in his Blaine would have sunk to the floor ages ago. "I can't not be with you Kurt. I know I've said I'm sorry a million times and I get that you don't give a shit but I just- I just love you so much and I don't ever want to be without you because I love you. I love you..." More words choked their way out of dark-haired boy's mouth but they were dissolved in chokes and ragged, desperate sniffing and gulping.
"Hey..." Kurt stepped forward gathering a weeping and broken Blaine in his arms. "Shhh..." He whispered repeatedly as he raked his hands down the shorter boy's back. He let Blaine rest his chin on his shoulder and head into the crook of his neck, staining the stark white skin there with salty tears. Blaine trembled in his arms, gasping for air every second as his chokes got more and more violent. Kurt slipped his arms under Blaine's shoulders, his heart pounding and eyes wet. "I'm here. I'm here." He whispered over and over causing Blaine to hold him tighter every time.
"I- I'm s-s-so-rr-y." Blaine whispered, hugging the tall boy to him as if he was his life support. Blaine gulped in a wave of oxygen almost stumbling back from the force of it. "I'm so sorry Kurt for what I did to us."
Kurt squeezed his eyelids together, tears spreading and rolling down his pale cheeks. "I know. I know you are and I am too for being so pathetic. I love you Blaine... I don't think I ever stopped and I can't stand this fighting because I want this to work. I forgive you. Please. I want this to work." Kurt surprised himself with his own words. Was that how he always felt? Was he just to scared to admit it?
"Then let's make it." Blaine pulled back, eyes swollen red and puffy. His nose was glowing bright crimson like a tomato and stray curls of hair at the back of his head managed to escape the gel. "Kurt, I will do anything- anything to make this work. To fix this."
"I will to." Kurt nodded in agreement. His eyes and nose were equally red. "I'm sorry for getting so caught up in work and the idea of this brand new world. I guess in the heat of it I was forgetting what was the most important thing in the world to me." The words were followed by a bittersweet smile. "I love you so much, Blaine. I always will."
"I love you too."
There was a small pause before both boys leaned in instinctively and softly brushed their lips across each others. It wasn't like the rough and desperate ones they had shared as they pushed through the hotel room doors. This was love. Pure and sincere. Blaine looped his arms around Kurt's waist and pulled him in to close the gap between them. He was sick of these gaps. The fighting. The distance. All he could feel at that moment was Kurt's soft, sweet lips and an insane amount of love for the boy kissing him back and he knew that in that moment they were going to be okay.