Are fish ticklish?

Kurt Hummel realised he had been typing into his search browser lazily for the past half an hour; yet the fucks he gave on the matter could be counted flying past the window.

The inexistent window...

The truth was that his Business class drove him to boredom. He had regretted taking the subject, just to fill a gap in his timetable that the McKinley board insisted he filled, from the very first lesson when the ancient teacher, who looked like Nigel Thornberry's obese Grandad, told the class they would be in silence, on the computer, following a booklet with basic instructions.

From then on, Kurt had to remind himself not to call him Mr Thornbesity.

Kurt had tried to get as much of the booklet completed in the first few lessons so he had the rest of the term to do nothing but write a few paragraphs a lesson. This way, he could use his time to look up more productive things.

He didn't quite know how asking Google spontaneous, pointless trivia questions was productive, but he was willing to roll with it.

Ways to beat class boredom he typed into his browser, slouching lazily in his chair with his arm swung over the back. The search results had titles such as 'Ten ways to stop class boredom' and 'Boredom Busters'. Kurt cocked his eyebrow at his screen and wondered if it was through boredom that these websites are even created. He was pretty sure you would have to be dying of boredom to be this sad.

Kurt tapped one finger on the backspace repeatedly until his search deleted. He then typed again.

Social websites to stop boredom

Kurt waited patiently as the computer, which was so slow it could be argued to have belonged to Mr Thornbesity. Finally, the search results flicked up.

Tumblr

Kurt shook his head mentally. He had once had a Tumblr account with limited followers; he found it too stressful and deleted his account.

Twitter

Kurt sighed. He became to obsessed with Patti LuPone's twitter account sometime last year and, after feeling guilty and freaking out that she might think him a stalker when he's famous, he deleted it soon after.

Facebook

Kurt rolled his eyes. He hardly used his account as his friends were limited and the amount of assclowns on it depressed him.

Kurt scrolled through websites such as MySpace (immediate no), Bebo (Kurt laughed at the thought of it) and Instagram (which made him turn his nose up and whisper 'hipsters'). He sighed before catching site of one sentence.

The site for sarcastic, smart teenagers who need a place to rant in annoyance to anonymous strangers.

Kurt smiled. A site for sarcastic assholes? He was in. His eyes shot to the name.

Wit-ness.com

After sitting up in his seat and scanning the class quickly for prying eyes, Kurt clicked the link.

The site itself was a subtle black. Smart, Kurt thought. This way he could go on it in lessons without drawing too much attention to his actions. You didn't have to sign up, just type in things you were looking to talk about so the site could find other people for you to talk to about that subject. You didn't have to give details. You didn't have to say anything about yourself either. Kurt smiled. This was his kind of site.

He paused to think.

Boring lessons he typed instantly, shortly followed by ignoramus students.

He hit enter and waited for a stranger.

Instantly, Kurt panicked when he didn't receive one immediately. He knew no one would show in results; who else would type 'ignoramus'?

He tried to hit cancel, but then the screen changed.

You are talking to a selected stranger with the same interests. Say hi!

Kurt stared in disbelief. He went to say hi, when he saw the other person type a message.

HAHAHAHAHA

I can't believe this

As if someone else describes their school population as ignoramuses

This is brilliant

Kurt muffled a laugh, remembering where he was. This person had already made him forget the boredom of his lesson. He almost forgot to reply when:

Oh wait, sorry if I scared you. I just didn't believe that I wasn't the only one.

Kurt smiled before typing.

I'm present. I'm laughing from disbelief too.

Oh good! I'm glad I'm not the only one who uses the word ignoramus, for one! You have a good choice in words. Plus, my boring lesson is currently preventing me from thinking straight, so this probably is not as funny as it seems. So forgive me for thinking I had scared you away.

Unnecessary apology accepted.

Thank you. J Hello, by the way! I'd say I'm glad I'm not the only one with a dull lesson but that's mean as if your lesson is as dull as mine I feel extremely sorry for you.

Hello, stranger! My lesson is pretty terrible.

What lesson? If you don't mind a complete stranger asking...

It's fine. J Business. It is horribleeeee.

I feel so sorry for you right now. I have Computer Science.

Does that mean you are ridiculously smart?

No, I had no choice! I had one lesson gap to fill.

Ditto with Business. I'd rather be in English.

English, eh? You have good subject taste.

Well, if you're implying you're an English nerd too... SO DO YOU!

I'm glad you read my implication so well.

I can't wait to just focus on subjects I like at college.

Ah, so you're in high school. I take it you're quite high up if you're already thinking of college...

Personal questions? Already? I don't even know you're name.

Blaine Anderson *holds out hand for you to shake*

Kurt Hummel *shakes hand* and yes, I am a senior in a terrible, terrible school. ESCAPOLOGY IS THE TOP OF MY LIST.

That's a shame, but me too. My prep school is lovely but I can't wait to get out of Ohio.

Wait, crap. That sounded big headed.

Ohio, eh? ;)

I really am bad at keeping my information quiet.

Well, seeings though you slipped up... I AM ALSO FROM OHIO.

Ohio buddies! *high five*

*Rolls eyes* you see why I want to escape?

I see and sympathise. Ohio isn't always the nicest place to people like me.

People like you?

Oh crap, will you pretend I didn't say that?

Blaine!

Erm, don't freak and leave me because I really am bored, but I'm gay.

And just to clarify, I am proud I just didn't want to spring that on you.

Sorry.

Why are you apologising?

Erm... for ending our conversation with something stupid? I know this website is designed so personal stuff stays personal so I shouldn't have said that.

Also, I know you're bored.

I'll go now and let you find someone else.

BLAINE!

Don't apologise for being truthful.

1) If someone leaves because you're gay then they are an asshole.

2) I wouldn't have a problem with it because I am also gay.

3) I don't mind being personal with stuff like that as long as you can't see me (I'm a whimp in real life).

*sighs in relief*

THANK GOD

So, Kurt Hummel, 18 (I think), Ohio, gay, English nerd... HOW LONG UNTIL I GET TOO CREEPY, HUH?

You've reached that limit. I just don't care.

Kurt waited for a reply but it didn't come. He sighed, the boy had not signed off, but he knew he had probably said something wrong. He always did.

5 minutes before the lesson's end, another message popped up.

So Kurt, I have to get going. My 'posh boy' classes are over and I have Glee club (yes I sing get over it), but I'd love to speak to you again. I have the same class next Friday too... ;)

Kurt knew he shouldn't get attached. He didn't know this boy, but he had just smiled more in the last hour than he had for a few months. It was this that spurred him to type a reply.

Deal; but how will I find you?

Use the word 'ignoramus'. ;)

Kurt grinned as the school bell went.

See you next week, Blaine Anderson.

Bye, Kurt Hummel. ;)

Kurt's smile lingered on his face for the rest of the evening.