Oct. 8, 2012, 6:54 a.m.
Five Months
A The Break Up reaction fic. Five months in procrastination. Big trigger warnings: Attempted suicide but happy ending
T - Words: 1,051 - Last Updated: Oct 08, 2012 1,399 0 2 2 Categories: Angst, Drama, Romance, Characters: Blaine Anderson, Kurt Hummel, Tags: established relationship, OMG CREYS, hurt/comfort,
Five months ago Kurt Hummel had had his heart ripped out of his body. Five months ago the love of his life left him alone. Five months ago the man he thought he would marry cheated. Five months ago the man he loved died.
Before Blaine entered his life Kurt was alone, lonely and in pain. Abused every day by a bully, the community that looked on him as a disease and people who just didn’t care. When he entered his life Kurt felt alive, hopeful and for the first time, joyful. There was hope for the future, a spring in his step and a light in his eyes. He endured the months Blaine spent oblivious, creating a friendship, being one step ahead of the young man just in case one day Blaine stepped next to him and realised everything Kurt was. Blaine became a light in the darkness for Kurt.
It wasn’t Blaine’s fault he fell, really. He was too quick to love, too eager to be accepted, too willing to accept kindness, too desperate for something more. Jeremiah and Rachel, both dreams, not a reality, both unattainable in the end, sublimations on the way to Kurt.
The day Blaine looked up and realised, Kurt had almost given up. He’d brought Blaine down from the pedestal he’d put him on and looked at him as another boy, nothing special to look up to, just another needy boy whom he could see his future in. He’d accepted the duet with joy and trepidation, another platonic duet, another way for Blaine to just share the limelight.
Blaine then changed everything. He stepped into that room and gave Kurt what he wanted, what he needed and deserved and most of all, Kurt gave Blaine what he deserved.
They’d gone on with life, their lives enriched by each other, their hands held out to each other through everything. Kurt felt complete with Blaine there, like the halves that were the Kurt he wanted to be and the Kurt he was were sealing themselves together through this gorgeous young man. They’d sacrificed, Blaine letting him go back to McKinley to be happy. They’d gone to prom, stood strong against the world. They’d spent days in coffee shops and gardens when summer came, learning more about each other and the life they were making together. Blaine moved schools for Kurt, a desperate desire to be near the man he loved, the only person who accepted him truly, completely.
Blaine learnt Kurt’s world and Kurt stepped back, unwittingly becoming a bit player in the life of Blaine Anderson. The axel that kept his world turning. Moving to the side, so Blaine could have better light. They loved each other, were beautiful together. They started depending on one another, feeding off of each other’s substance, their looks, their kissing, their fingers wrapped around each other. They started becoming one, Kurt the stronger, became the world for Blaine.
Sebastian had been an unwelcome dent in the armour, another person who gave Blaine compliments, confidence, captured his eyes with witty words but in the end, Kurt was there to pull Blaine back.
They made love like it was another way to share their essence, like the act was some holy vow neither of them believed in. The trust between them, and the experiences they shared strengthened their bond, bringing them closer. Something they’d shared with no-one else, a dedication, a list of firsts. Beauty, in innocence.
Kurt believed in love, he believed in honesty and integrity and faithfulness. He believed that his life had one end, and that Blaine was at that end. With New York in his reach Kurt let himself dream, not understanding the looks, the doubt, and the fear. Blaine was jealous of New York, of this idea he was losing Kurt to. He was selfish, confused and helpless against the big city, the dream that came true, in various ways just like Blaine, but not understanding the dreams could coexist.
When Kurt’s work got in the way of Blaine’s mission of love for Kurt, he watched the world as it slipped away and grasped onto the one thing he’d never run short of. A desire for attention, attention, he got elsewhere.
He’d ripped Kurt’s heart out on a cold October night, singing a version of the first song he’d ever sung in front of Kurt, crying throughout. He’d admitted it the second Kurt asked, and left him betrayed, blamed and heartbroken. Kurt had run away, chased by Blaine. They’d gone to bed on separate sides, cold air and sheets between them. Words unsaid.
Blaine went home in the morning, but he was already long dead.
Blaine Anderson, the true one, the one whom Kurt had met long ago on that staircase had died long ago, and nothing he could do could bring him back.
A week later Kurt received the call. Blaine had walked into the toilets in McKinley High School, and slit his wrists.
Mr Schue had found him.
Kurt was on the next plane to Ohio, his steps heavy down the hallway. He was alive, just.
In the intervening days Blaine slipped into a coma, no desire to wake up to a world where he’d taken the one gift Kurt had given him and splashed it broken and bloody across Battery Park. Kurt returned to New York, returning to Lima each weekend, holding Blaine’s hand and whispering things to him. In the months that passed Kurt had forgiven the betrayal and learned from Eli himself that a kiss, kisses, was all that Blaine gave. Kurt had learned to live with it, a desire for Blaine to wake up so that they could work on bringing the real Blaine back to life, helping to create the man he should be.
Five Months ago Kurt Hummel’s life changed. Five months ago Kurt Hummel’s love left him alone. Five months ago Kurt Hummel’s love changed. Five minutes ago, he had him back.
“Kurt.” The quiet voice sounds and Kurt lifts his head off of the chest he was listening to the heartbeat through.
“Hi.” He says quietly, grasping the other man’s hand.
“We-we can work this out, can’t we?”
“Yes we can Blaine, yes we can.”
Comments
Short and sweet (in the end)
Thank you!