“You make me feel like I’m living a teenage dream..”

“What the hell’s going on here?” 

“Puck? Why are you here?”

“Thought I’d drop by,” Puck replied vaguely. “Now tell me why my boy Anderson is crying.”

“I.. I don’t know, actually,” Kurt said, shifting uncomfortably. Puck’s eyes narrowed.

“Listen, you two better not be breaking up, alright? You guys are sort of.. my inspiration. In a totally not gay way. But, fuck, if you two don’t make it, all hope I have for happiness is freaking gone, you know?”

“We’re not going to break up. I love Blaine too much.”

“You do?” Kurt jumped at the suddenness of Blaine’s voice. He stared at his boyfriend incredulously.

“Of course I do, silly.”

“I love you too, Kurt.” Blaine bit his lip, and then said, “Which is why I’m here. To set you free.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa! Was no one listening to what I said?” Puck exclaimed. “NO GAYS ARE BREAKING UP HERE. YOU TWO ARE TOGETHER FOR ETERNITY.” 

“Puck, shut up,” Kurt snapped. “You.. you want to break up with me? What did I do? I can fix whatever it is..”

“No, no, Kurt. It’s not like that.”

“Then what is it like?”

“I.. I need to be myself this year, and so do you. And if we’re together, we’ll just be holding each other back.”

“NOPE. NO ONE’S SAYING GOODBYE TO ANYBODY. FUCK ALL OF YOU. ACTUALLY JUST FUCK EACH OTHER.” 

“Puck, we’re in a public place! Blaine.. I love you. And this isn’t goodbye.”

“NO, IT’S NOT. CUZ YOU’RE STILL BOYFRIENDS. TWENTY ONE.”

”..What are you even talking about, Puck?”

“I HAVE A BLOG DEDICATED TO YOU TWO, DAMMIT. THE LEAST YOU COULD DO IS KISS AND NOT RIP MY HEART OUT. PUCKERMAN OUT.”