dandalion
Sept. 19, 2011, 10:25 a.m.
You Can't Fix This
How could you do this to me? Blaine whispered into the space between their faces, bringing his hands up to push at Kurt's chest. Just go. If you really want to make me happy, you'll leave.
T - Words: 1,223 - Last Updated: Sep 19, 2011 1,729 0 15 3 Categories: Angst, Drama, Songfics, Tragedy, Characters: Blaine Anderson, Kurt Hummel, Tags: established relationship, futurefic, OMG CREYS,
Author's Notes: The song that Blaine sings is called Swan Song by A Fine Frenzy. I suggest you listen to the song and then read the story, as it won't match up if you try listening to it while reading it. I most DEFINITELY suggest listening to the song though. It's beautiful, and picturing Blaine singing it is both breathtaking and heartbreaking.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jjduiPDnHB4
Blaine sits on a stage at a piano as the lights come up. He glances out at the audience, not taking any faces in. Turning back towards the piano, he rests his fingers on the keys. The first few notes begin to play as the audience quiets down. Blaine’s fingers move delicately over the piano keys, eyes focusing on some far away, intangible point offstage.
“You’re late. Again,” Blaine said, eyes cast down at the table as Kurt made his way into the kitchen.
“Sorry, we got held up,” Kurt said tersely, pulling out a bottle of wine from the refrigerator and a glass from the cabinet. He poured some in, sighing as he took a sip. “What have you been doing all day?”
“Writing, mostly. One of the songs is getting there. I went to the store. Got that chicken you like; it’s still in the oven if you’d like some. I thought I’d keep it warm for you, after it got cold from waiting an hour and a half on the table.” Blaine finally lifted his eyes to look at Kurt. The rims of his eyes were slightly red and he looked exhausted.
Blaine’s mouth finds the microphone. He presses his lips close to it, and begins to sing.
Wretched, look at me, I’ve lost it
Melting on the table, in parking lots and markets
I can’t help it, loved you like a starfish
Loved the salty water, like a selfish daughter
“You didn’t have to wait up for me,” Kurt said in reply. “But thanks for the chicken. Why don’t you go to sleep? I’ll be in in a bit.” He finished off his wine and went to pour himself some more. Blaine got up quickly and wrapped his hand around Kurt’s, which was wrapped around the bottle.
“Allow me,” Blaine whispered. He poured Kurt more wine, and leaned in for a kiss after corking the bottle. He caught Kurt’s cheek as the taller man turned his face away.
“Blaine,” Kurt said, turning his body away from his boyfriend. “Don’t.”
Yet I wrote the words to the swan song
The author of the wrong
I said what I said, and I meant it
But now, I regret it
Blaine’s voice catches on some of the higher notes as he begins to cry softly. The audience doesn’t seem to notice.
“Oh, I forgot,” Blaine scoffed, “You’re probably too tired from working all day to kiss your boyfriend of ten years. Forgive me for wanting some goddamn affection, Kurt.”
“Blaine,” Kurt said softly. Blaine refused to look at him, sensing what he was about to say. “I don’t think I can do this anymore.”
“Do what?” Blaine asked. He knew what.
“Blaine. Don’t make me say it.” Kurt lifted Blaine’s chin with his index finger. “It’s been weeks, Blaine. Weeks since we’ve even said that we love each other. Weeks since we’ve kissed, let alone made love.”
“You’ve been distant. Why have you been so distant? Do you—do you not love me anymore?”
“God, Blaine, of course I still love you. But maybe—we’ve been so off for so long. Maybe it’s best if we just end things. I mean, how many people told us we wouldn’t make it anyway? High school sweethearts and all that. Haven’t we just been fooling ourselves this whole time?”
A few tears slipped out of Blaine’s eyes, settling on his chin as he sang.
Foolish, how was I so careless?
Pawning off my treasure, the envy of an heiress
Now my dollars are crumpled in my pocket
How can I reclaim it? What if someone’s got it?
“How can you even say that?” Blaine shouted. Kurt dropped his hand, looking affronted. “How can you just throw away ten years like that? I do love you Kurt, no matter how long it’s been since I’ve said it. We haven’t—we haven’t been forcing it, or fooling ourselves or whatever. It’s just a—a rough patch. We can fix it. We can fix us.”
“Blaine. I had sex with someone else.”
Blaine’s fingers stopped moving. The audience didn’t make a sound, well aware that the song wasn’t over. They finally seem to catch on to the turmoil their entertainment is experiencing as he performs. He closes his eyes and more tears slip out, and he wipes his sleeve across his face. He takes a shaky breath and places his fingers back on the piano, continuing to play.
When I wrote the words to the swan song
The author of the wrong
And I said what I said, and I meant it
But now, I regret it
“Kurt,” Blaine said, his voice cracked and pained.
“God, Blaine, I’m so sorry, I didn’t want it to happen, I can’t even believe that it happened, I swear, I—honestly, I don’t even know why I said anything. You’re right, we should fix this, we should try to fix us, we’re going to be okay, I’m sorry Blaine, I love you, I do, I always have, I always will, please, forgive me, I’ll forget about him, I promise, I’ll—“
“Get out.”
How could the world have turned so ugly?
I am dying, could you touch me again?
Touch me again
“You’re not serious,” Kurt said. “You’re not thinking straight. You’re upset, I get it, but please, don’t do this, I’m sorry.”
“Get. Out.” Blaine repeated, clenching his fists. “Now. And don’t come back. Send me the address of wherever you end up staying and I’ll get a moving van to bring you your stuff.”
“Blaine, please.” Kurt pulled at Blaine’s hips, pulling their bodies together, leaning their foreheads together.
“How could you do this to me?” Blaine whispered into the space between their faces, bringing his hands up to push at Kurt’s chest. “Just go. If you really want to make me happy, you’ll leave.” Kurt let his hands fall from Blaine’s sides.
“You’re sure this is what you want?” Kurt asked quietly. Blaine’s glance away from him was all the answer he needed. “Alright. Goodbye, Blaine.”
When I wrote the words to the swan song
The author of the wrong
Blaine shut his eyes and listened to the sound of Kurt’s footsteps as he made his way to the door. He waited for the sound of it opening, but didn’t hear it right away. Kurt seemed to be having a hard time leaving. Finally, he heard the door swing open and slam shut. That was it. Kurt Hummel, the love of his life, his boyfriend of ten years, since high school, was out of his life. All it took was one open and shut of a door. Blaine slid to the floor and began dry sobbing, seemingly incapable of producing tears.
He managed to get a hold of himself, and pulled himself up by the counter. He walked over to the window, hoping to catch one last glimpse of the man he loved and lost. As he approached the glass, he heard the screech of car tires, and shouting below. Unable to get a good view of the street, he rushed to the terrace, praying he wasn’t about to see what he thought it was.
I said what I said and I meant it
As the audience clapped, giving him a standing ovation, Blaine shut his eyes, the image shining on the back of his eyelids that of the man he loved—still loves, has always loved, will always love—sprawled across the asphalt, broken and gone.
But now,
I regret it
“You’re late. Again,” Blaine said, eyes cast down at the table as Kurt made his way into the kitchen.
“Sorry, we got held up,” Kurt said tersely, pulling out a bottle of wine from the refrigerator and a glass from the cabinet. He poured some in, sighing as he took a sip. “What have you been doing all day?”
“Writing, mostly. One of the songs is getting there. I went to the store. Got that chicken you like; it’s still in the oven if you’d like some. I thought I’d keep it warm for you, after it got cold from waiting an hour and a half on the table.” Blaine finally lifted his eyes to look at Kurt. The rims of his eyes were slightly red and he looked exhausted.
Blaine’s mouth finds the microphone. He presses his lips close to it, and begins to sing.
Wretched, look at me, I’ve lost it
Melting on the table, in parking lots and markets
I can’t help it, loved you like a starfish
Loved the salty water, like a selfish daughter
“You didn’t have to wait up for me,” Kurt said in reply. “But thanks for the chicken. Why don’t you go to sleep? I’ll be in in a bit.” He finished off his wine and went to pour himself some more. Blaine got up quickly and wrapped his hand around Kurt’s, which was wrapped around the bottle.
“Allow me,” Blaine whispered. He poured Kurt more wine, and leaned in for a kiss after corking the bottle. He caught Kurt’s cheek as the taller man turned his face away.
“Blaine,” Kurt said, turning his body away from his boyfriend. “Don’t.”
Yet I wrote the words to the swan song
The author of the wrong
I said what I said, and I meant it
But now, I regret it
Blaine’s voice catches on some of the higher notes as he begins to cry softly. The audience doesn’t seem to notice.
“Oh, I forgot,” Blaine scoffed, “You’re probably too tired from working all day to kiss your boyfriend of ten years. Forgive me for wanting some goddamn affection, Kurt.”
“Blaine,” Kurt said softly. Blaine refused to look at him, sensing what he was about to say. “I don’t think I can do this anymore.”
“Do what?” Blaine asked. He knew what.
“Blaine. Don’t make me say it.” Kurt lifted Blaine’s chin with his index finger. “It’s been weeks, Blaine. Weeks since we’ve even said that we love each other. Weeks since we’ve kissed, let alone made love.”
“You’ve been distant. Why have you been so distant? Do you—do you not love me anymore?”
“God, Blaine, of course I still love you. But maybe—we’ve been so off for so long. Maybe it’s best if we just end things. I mean, how many people told us we wouldn’t make it anyway? High school sweethearts and all that. Haven’t we just been fooling ourselves this whole time?”
A few tears slipped out of Blaine’s eyes, settling on his chin as he sang.
Foolish, how was I so careless?
Pawning off my treasure, the envy of an heiress
Now my dollars are crumpled in my pocket
How can I reclaim it? What if someone’s got it?
“How can you even say that?” Blaine shouted. Kurt dropped his hand, looking affronted. “How can you just throw away ten years like that? I do love you Kurt, no matter how long it’s been since I’ve said it. We haven’t—we haven’t been forcing it, or fooling ourselves or whatever. It’s just a—a rough patch. We can fix it. We can fix us.”
“Blaine. I had sex with someone else.”
Blaine’s fingers stopped moving. The audience didn’t make a sound, well aware that the song wasn’t over. They finally seem to catch on to the turmoil their entertainment is experiencing as he performs. He closes his eyes and more tears slip out, and he wipes his sleeve across his face. He takes a shaky breath and places his fingers back on the piano, continuing to play.
When I wrote the words to the swan song
The author of the wrong
And I said what I said, and I meant it
But now, I regret it
“Kurt,” Blaine said, his voice cracked and pained.
“God, Blaine, I’m so sorry, I didn’t want it to happen, I can’t even believe that it happened, I swear, I—honestly, I don’t even know why I said anything. You’re right, we should fix this, we should try to fix us, we’re going to be okay, I’m sorry Blaine, I love you, I do, I always have, I always will, please, forgive me, I’ll forget about him, I promise, I’ll—“
“Get out.”
How could the world have turned so ugly?
I am dying, could you touch me again?
Touch me again
“You’re not serious,” Kurt said. “You’re not thinking straight. You’re upset, I get it, but please, don’t do this, I’m sorry.”
“Get. Out.” Blaine repeated, clenching his fists. “Now. And don’t come back. Send me the address of wherever you end up staying and I’ll get a moving van to bring you your stuff.”
“Blaine, please.” Kurt pulled at Blaine’s hips, pulling their bodies together, leaning their foreheads together.
“How could you do this to me?” Blaine whispered into the space between their faces, bringing his hands up to push at Kurt’s chest. “Just go. If you really want to make me happy, you’ll leave.” Kurt let his hands fall from Blaine’s sides.
“You’re sure this is what you want?” Kurt asked quietly. Blaine’s glance away from him was all the answer he needed. “Alright. Goodbye, Blaine.”
When I wrote the words to the swan song
The author of the wrong
Blaine shut his eyes and listened to the sound of Kurt’s footsteps as he made his way to the door. He waited for the sound of it opening, but didn’t hear it right away. Kurt seemed to be having a hard time leaving. Finally, he heard the door swing open and slam shut. That was it. Kurt Hummel, the love of his life, his boyfriend of ten years, since high school, was out of his life. All it took was one open and shut of a door. Blaine slid to the floor and began dry sobbing, seemingly incapable of producing tears.
He managed to get a hold of himself, and pulled himself up by the counter. He walked over to the window, hoping to catch one last glimpse of the man he loved and lost. As he approached the glass, he heard the screech of car tires, and shouting below. Unable to get a good view of the street, he rushed to the terrace, praying he wasn’t about to see what he thought it was.
I said what I said and I meant it
As the audience clapped, giving him a standing ovation, Blaine shut his eyes, the image shining on the back of his eyelids that of the man he loved—still loves, has always loved, will always love—sprawled across the asphalt, broken and gone.
But now,
I regret it
End Notes: So this is my first Klaine fic ever, and it's super nervewracking for me to put this up. Please, please, please review, any constructive criticism is welcome, I'll appreciate it more than you know. Thank you for reading my story.
Comments
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QwQ
beautiful, beautiful, beautiful.
thank you, thank you, thank you =D
Oh my god, thank you so much. Seriously, you have no idea how much that means. Thank you, thank you =D
This was really beautiful. I'm at a loss of words.
Oh no! I didn't mean to break anyone! But I'm so thrilled you liked it, seriously, thank you so much...it broke my heart writing it, especially the ending, which kind of came as a shock to me too...I mean, I think subconsciously i knew that that was where the story was heading but it wasn't until I wrote it out that I realized it. Thank you, seriously, this review means so much, especially that you think it was so well-written. That means the most, I think =D
Sobbing. Really, just sobbing. Dear god this is so beautifully written, so heartbreakingly beautiful. But the end. You broke me I think.
Wow that was beautiful. I listened to the song as I read and it ended exactly as I finished. An amazing reading eperience.
Thank you so much! Did it really sync up like that? That's awesome, it didn't for me when I read it over, and I know the lyrics didn't match up as I was reading it, but I'm really glad it worked out for you like that. That's how I've always enjoyed songfics, and that's how I wish this one worked. Thank you, so much, for reading and reviewing and I'm so glad you liked it =D
Thank you so much! I'm sorry it made you cry, haha...I'm working on another story that'll have parts that won't make anyone cry, except maybe with happiness, I promise! Thanks so much for reading and reviewing =)
Excuse me while I go bottle myself up in the corner and start crying. Continue writing this was absolutely beautiful and the song REALLY helped. :'(
my creys ,omg.
I know, it's sad =( I cried a bunch while writing it.
i can't even... just amazing! Litterally crying right now!I'm usually a multi chapter gal but this was just pure genius!!
Thank you so much!! I'm glad you gave it a try :D I totally cried while writing it so I feel your pain haha. Thanks again for reading and reviewing!