Can't you see I'm wounded baby?

Go ahead and put me down

You keep saying that I'm crazy

There's just rumors going round

I am dying to believe you

Tell me what should I do?

Who would want to play a fool

And then find out that it was true?     

Blaine turns onto his side to check his phone on the bedside table.  No texts; no calls.  2:17 AM.  He sighs in frustration at his inability to sleep.  It’s not like this is anything new. 

He turns back over, convincing himself to let it go and get some rest.  He thinks about Kurt, and when they first got together.  How easy it had been to fall in love, how comfortable Blaine had felt in Kurt’s arms.  He remembers the first time they made love, Kurt opening him up so gently, rocking into him, lost in ecstasy together as they came.  It had been beautiful.

Blaine feels himself drifting off to sleep at these comforting thoughts.  Just as he manages to slip into a light sleep, he’s struck awake by a loud clattering at the door and hushed giggles and whispers.

“Shhhhhh!  We—we have to be quiiiiet,” he hears Kurt breathe out between chuckles.  “My boyfriend’s asleep in there!”

“Okay, okay, okay,” he hears another voice say, heaving slightly as if trying to reign in his laughter.  “I think I’ve got a solution.  To stop laughing, we should start kissing.”  Blaine squeezes his eyes shut and feels his face pull into a grimace.  So it was going to be one of those nights.

After that, all he hears are the noises of two mouths sliding together and heavy panting and clothes rustling, but not coming off, never coming off, and more hushes and breathy moans.  He puts a pillow over his head to try and block it out, but they’re too loud, they’re too enthusiastic, God hates him too much to even grant him that one small victory.

Finally, after what seems like hours, he hears them slow down.

“Thanks, babe,” the man says.  Blaine thinks that maybe he’s Kurt’s new friend from his play.  He doesn’t sound familiar and Kurt has been talking the guy up ever since he joined the cast.  Blaine wonders what he looks like.

“Anytime,” Kurt responds.  Blaine can hear the smile in his voice.

Blaine listens as they move back to the door, and Kurt gives the new guy a lingering goodbye kiss.  He hears the door shut, and waits for Kurt to come into their bedroom.  Instead, he hears the sound of cabinets opening in the kitchen, the clink of ice in a glass, and even from several rooms away, he gets a whiff of the whiskey Kurt pours.

Blaine moves onto his back, wondering how Kurt can be having yet anotherdrink after being out all night.  Lost in his thoughts, he misses it when Kurt approaches the door, leaning against the post, half empty glass in hand.

“Heyyy, Blaine,” Kurt says, seemingly trying to be quiet and failing miserably.  “You’re still up.  That’s so weird.   You should be asleep.”  Kurt cuts himself off by laughing at a joke Blaine doesn’t get.

“Yeah, well, I was worried about you.  You never called to tell me where you’d be,” Blaine answers.  Not that he ever calls.

“Oh, baby, I’m sorry, sorrysorrysorry,” Kurt slurs, still grinning.  “I just went out for a few drinks with some friends.  But I’m home now, ‘m home now, baby.”  Kurt throws back the rest of his drink and stumbles into the room, clumsily setting the glass down on the bedside table.  “I’m home now, and I loooove you, and we should get naked and have some funnn.”

With that, Kurt falls unceremoniously onto Blaine, barely staying on the bed as he tries to straddle him, pressing their chests together.

“Jesus, Kurt, you reek,” Blaine says, turning his face away when Kurt tries to kiss him.  Kurt’s lips collide with his jaw instead, and he sucks noisily on Blaine’s skin.

“Baby, please, pleaseplease, c’mon, want you so bad, love you so much,” Kurt mumbles into Blaine’s neck.

“Who was your friend?”  Blaine asks, unable to keep the edge from his voice.  It’s not like Kurt would pick up on it anyway.

“Who?  Oh, him.  No, no, he’s just thisss…friend, from my cast, y’know, we got some new members recently, I was just showing him around town.”  Kurt returns to sucking on Blaine’s neck, teasing the flesh with little nibbles.  Blaine feels like he’s suffocating.

“A friend?  Who you…kiss?” Blaine asks, forcing Kurt’s face away from him to look him in the eyes.  Blaine tries not to look too jealous, or too upset, knowing Kurt will just laugh at him.

“Blaine, baby, baby, babybabybaby, he’s just a friend, I kiss my friends all the time, you know, it was jusssst a goodnight kiss, just a little peck, it was nothing, baby, seriously, nothing, I promise.  I love you, only you.”  Blaine thinks back to the sounds he had heard, and considers saying that a goodnight peck didn’t require making out on the couch, when Kurt pushes himself up on his hands and begins to tug at Blaine’s shirt. 

“This should come off, right now,” Kurt whines.

“Kurt,” Blaine tries to get his attention as Kurt pulls his own shirt over his head and then returns his attention to Blaine’s, successfully shoving it past his shoulders and up over his head, tossing it on the floor.  “Kurt, please, don’t.  I’m tired, and I really don’t like being with you like this.  You’re drunk, Kurt, I hate it when you drink, you know that, so please, stop, please, I just want to go to sleep.”

But Kurt doesn’t listen.  He begins to kiss down Blaine’s chest, licking around his nipples and sucking lightly on them, grazing his teeth down Blaine’s happy trail, muttering into his skin, “You don’t mean that, you love me.  I’m fine, ‘m not that drunk, really, please Blaine, just let me make you feel good.  Don’t you want to feel good?  I promise you’ll like it Blaine, please, I love you, I love your body, I love you, Iloveyousomuch, baby, pleaseplease.”

And how can Blaine say no?  How can Blaine deny this beautiful boy exactly what he wants?  The boy he fell in love with the second he laid eyes on him that day on the staircase, the boy who he shared the past 8 years of his life with, the boy who always knew just what to say to make him feel better. 

As Kurt begins to kitten lick around the waistband of Blaine’s jeans, and then pull them down, along with his underwear, Blaine pushes that little voice far back in his mind.  The little voice that says “This is wrong, you’re enabling him, don’t do this, push him away, you should’ve left him when this all started, you should help him, why aren’t you helping him?  Get him help, and if you can’t, get out.  Blaine, this is wrong, stop stop stop stop stop.”

Blaine blocks it all out as Kurt takes him into his mouth, as far as he can go.  He gives in to the pleasure, the hot suction around his dick, allows the carnal instinct take over, refusing to let logic get in the way.  He thrusts up, trying to lose himself in that mouth, trying to crawl inside and never come out, never have to face any of this again.  It’s safer here.

As his orgasm builds, Kurt sucks harder, and Blaine forgets everything for a moment, and his brain takes him back to when they first did this.  It was sweet, and awkward, and so, so careful, neither of them wanting to scare the other off.  It had felt so good, being touched and kissed and licked for the first time, with someone so beautiful, so wonderful, so loving and caring. 

This is the thought that brings Blaine over the edge.  He comes hard down Kurt’s throat to thoughts of the gorgeous boy tentatively taking the head of his cock into his mouth, and that first time, that had been it for Blaine; he came instantly at the first touch of that magical tongue.  It almost feels like that again, until Kurt comes back up for a kiss, and reality hits Blaine like a freight train.

“Mmmm, you taste so good, baby, love you so much,” Kurt mumbles, slurring as he presses a sloppy kiss against Blaine’s mouth before slumping off to the side.  With half of Kurt’s body still pressed against him, Blaine tries to fall asleep, Kurt’s sour breath taunting him with never ending reminders of how it used to be.