Kurt hears the music before he even gets to their apartment door, but he refuses to believe his ears until he’s actually inside.  He takes a moment, closing his eyes and breathing deep, giving Blaine the benefit of the doubt—lord knows why—and unlocks the door.

            He was right.   Unfortunately.  The music is blasting throughout the apartment, and Kurt can only imagine what Blaine is up to, wherever he is.

            BIG BOOTY BITCHES, BIG, BIG BOOTY BITCHES!           

            Kurt resists the immediate urge to make a quick stop in the kitchen for a shot or two, venturing instead into the bedroom, where the scene unfolds.

            Blaine’s iPod is plugged into the iHome, blasting the song, most likely, on repeat.  Blaine is found dancing in front of the mirror—bare ass naked.  He’s shaking his ass in the mirror, bumping it up against the glass and looking back at himself, making duck faces and big smiley tongue sticking out faces, occasionally singing along.  Kurt wonders how long he has to stand shocked in the doorway with an eyebrow raised before his dumbass fiancé notices him.

            “Big booty bitches big, big booty—Kurt!” Blaine interrupts himself with a squeak, instinct causing him to cover his limp dick once it settles against his thigh from swinging around, but his hands quickly go to his face to be buried in apparent humiliation.  “Um, you’re home early,” Kurt hears, though it’s muffled by his hands and slightly washed out by the music.

            Kurt realizes he has two choices.  He can use this against Blaine for the rest of his life, ridiculing him constantly and blackmailing him into doing all the chores, or…or he can zig.

            He makes sure Blaine is watching before going over to the iHome and pressing his finger against the volume button until he can’t even hear himself think, then starts a strip tease that has Blaine doubling over with laughter and rushing over to help get him out of his clothes.  They end up back in front of the mirror together, butts slapping together and hands over skin, cocks soft to start but slowly showing just a bit of interest, as they almost always do when they’re around each other.

            When they’re cuddled close together later that night, sated and sleepy, Kurt thinks he might still be able to use this as blackmail material for a little while, even if he did join in—and Blaine is totally dealing with the noise complaint they got.