Blaine Anderson

There are so many things to be said about why I love this boy.

He's a gentle, sweet, loving, funny, smart, beautiful boy; he's the love of my life.

He's the one person in my life that's truly made me happy since my mother died when I was 8 years old. Blaine has gotten me through so much… so many things he'll never know I dealt with; I got through them; because of him.

Blaine never sets out to hurt people, not ever. He thinks before he acts, he has a sense of humour about everything and he is so very forgiving. In many ways he's the total opposite of me… that is maybe why I'm finding this so hard to understand.

Blaine Anderson is perfect in my eyes, and maybe that's why I'm finding it so very hard to understand why he would do what he did. Why he would throw everything away for a stupid hook up… why he would break my heart.

I can't sleep, I can't breathe properly, but I'm still here in my bed, laying next to the boy I love… loved? I'm not so sure anymore. I can hear his light breathing and I know he's asleep. Every now and then he lets out a small cough and sniffs before he rolls over and snuggled back into the pillow. We've both spent the last two hours silently crying, and it seems Blaine has tired himself out. I want so badly to reach over and wrap my arms around him, like I'm so used to doing… but I can't.

I can't stand to talk to him.

I can't stand to touch him.

I can't stand him.

What have I don't to deserve all this?

I was distant and unresponsive, that's what I was… but why didn't I admit that sooner?

Blaine gives a small sniff again and I roll over gently, and look at his face. It torn with hurt and anger, but it's somehow peaceful in his sleepy state. I smile weakly and pause for a moment.

I loved this boy, maybe I still do… and he made a mistake, a mistake that should not have happened if I'd just payed him more attention…

I open my mouth and whisper his name.

"Blaine… are you asleep?" I ask and my voice shakes. He doesn't stir.

"Blaine… I am so mad right now… I want to kill you… but… I still love you, and I always will." I roll over and close my stinging eyes. I need sleep; I need to be able to think clearly. I sniff and try to put my mind at rest.

Blaine… he might not love me anymore. I should let him go… it will be hard… but I have to.

I nod gently and settle into my pillow, my heart breaking in two all over again.

Then it happens… it's so quiet I almost miss it, but it's there.

"I love you too Kurt."

I feel the small smile spread upon my face at the tiny whisper. A warm hand gently moves over my hips and finds my hand, intertwining our fingers. I give in to the touch and the moment I close my eyes again, I'm asleep.

Asleep next to Blaine Anderson, the boy who broke my heart… and the only person in the world capable of fixing it… is him.