Kurt scrawls out the address and passes the envelope to the boy next to him.
He hears a snort.
He looks up.
Carter raises an eyebrow, “You’re not serious are you?”
Kurt shrugs his shoulders, “What?”
“You’re honestly inviting Blaine?”
“Yeah. Why not?”
“Um, because he’s your ex.”
“You invited David.”
“That’s different. He’s decided he’s straight now.”
“Well, Blaine’s still my friend.”
“I don’t feel comfortable with you inviting him.”
“Why the hell not?! He’s just my friend!”
“You were with him for more than five years!”
“Half of which was in high school.”
“Don’t feed me that bull shit. I was there when you two dated. You were serious.”
“Why does it even matter?! I’m marrying you aren’t I?!”
“That’s my point! You are marrying me. So why should you invite the man you wanted to marry once upon a time?!”
“Damnit, Carter! I knew I shouldn’t have told you about those fucking rings!”
“So you could lie to me about them?!”
“What the hell are we even arguing about this for?! All I want to do is invite one of my damn friends!”
“And I don’t feel comfortable with him being there!”
“You know what?! Fine. I won’t invite him!” Kurt grabbed his keys and spun away from the taller, dirty blond boy, “If you need me, I’ll be at Rachel’s.”
“Kurt--wait!” Carter made to grab Kurt’s elbow, but missed as Kurt headed for the door.
“Baby--wait up!” Carter heard the door slam and he sighed.

Kurt rushed out the front door, hailing a cab and rattling off Rachel’s address before losing himself in the memory completely.

“Kurt?”
“Yes, baby?”
“We need to talk.”
“Um, okay. Can it wait? Mme. Carlisle needs these by tomorrow and I’m almost done.”
“Um, no, it can’t but I’ll make it quick,” Blaine said, mentally adding, ‘because if I don’t I’ll never be able to do this.’
“Alright. Al---most----done. There. All good,” Kurt spun around in his chair, immediately sensing Blaine’s distress, “Babe? What’s wrong?”
“I---Kurt. I’m moving out.”
“What?! Why?!” Kurt could hear his own voice break. Where was this coming from? It was so out of the blue. What had he done?
“I---I can’t do this anymore.”
“Can’t do what,” Kurt wasn’t following. Surely it wasn’t because of rent, “Is it the rent? I’ve got that job down at Vogue now, I’d be more than happy to pay your half if you need me to.”
“No, Kurt. It’s not that.”
“Then what?” Kurt could see it coming. Could feel it. But he turned a blind eye. Hoping beyond hope that it wasn’t what he thought.
“I--I can’t do us anymore, Kurt. I’m breaking up with you.” Blaine felt like he wanted to die as he said the words, like he was committing a sin worse than blasphemy.
“What? No---! Why?” Kurt felt his face crumple. This was not happening. This couldn’t be happening. Blaine loved him. He loved Blaine. They were going to get married. There was no way.
“I just have to Kurt.” Blaine cringed internally at the words. Could feel them twisting his own heart. Tearing it to shreds. But that was why he had to do it. Because he loved Kurt too much. And he knew that one day down the road, that would be his death.
“Is it because of your parents Blaine? I told you I don’t care. I love you no matter what, and so do my dad and Carole, and Cooper. You don’t need to pretend just for them. There are other people that care about you.”
Blaine knew that there was only way he was going to get Kurt to drop this, “No. It’s---it’s not that.”
“Then what, Blaine?” Kurt felt tears burning his eyes.
“I-i. I don’t love you anymore Kurt. I thought I did, but I was wrong. Of course, I---I still care about you. You’ll always be my best friend. Always. But, I don’t have any romantic feelings for you anymore.”
Kurt took a deep breath. Shut his eyes. He had to think about this. If...if what Blaine said was true. If he didn’t have any romantic feelings for him anymore, then it would be best for Kurt to let him go. But the thought of there being no Blaine at all in his life...that felt like dying a new death every day forever. So yes, Kurt nodded to himself...he’d just be friends with Blaine. Because that was better than nothing at all. Kurt mopped at his eyes, if they were to be friends, he wouldn’t be able to let his heartbreak show.
“Alright.”
Blaine blinked, “Alright?” Blaine looked deep into Kurt’s eyes, and he could see it there. Could honestly see that Kurt believed it. He took a deep breath. This is what he wanted...so why did it hurt so much?
“Yes. Let’s still be friends. We can do that. Now, if you’ve already found somewhere else to stay, I’d be more than willing to help you move your things. But please, don’t leave on my account. We have more than one bedroom, I could always move in there. Or if you want, you could keep the apartment and I could move in with Rachel. You know Kelly moved out last month and she still hasn’t found another roommate for that spare bedroom.” For the first time in his life, Kurt was grateful for all the years of bullying. It made it all too easy to put on the strong, indifferent mask. Scary almost, how easy it was.
“Um, no, actually you know Coop’s got that apartment he never uses anyway, so I figured I’d just stay there. I’ve got the keys and everything.”
“Alright. Well, do you need help?”
“Um, no. Thanks. I think this is something I need to do on my own.”
“Alright. And Blaine?”
Blaine looked back at Kurt hopefully, praying silently that Kurt was going to pull him back and call him out on his lie, “I’m glad we can still be friends.”
Kurt felt his heartbreak at the word ‘friends’, dying at how wrong it felt not to say ‘boy’ before it, “Me too, Kurt.”

Kurt didn’t even realize it when he stumbled into Rachel’s apartment, that is until he ran smack into a solid body. Kurt looked up to see his step-brother, “Whoa! Kurt? Are you alright?” Kurt chewed his lip and tried to feel his face from the inside out, how much of his emotions were showing? What could he get away with lying about? “Um--,” Kurt heard his voice break, “I’m fine,” Kurt knew he couldn’t lie about this, “Just---where’s Rachel?” Finn sighed and looked down at his brother, “She just went down the corner for some groceries,” Finn assessed the broken look on his brother’s face, pulling him in, “C’mere.” Kurt knew he must have been pretty far gone, because he actually allowed his brother to pull him to the couch, and collapsed into his arms.

“Do you want to talk about it,” Finn said uncertainly.
“Not really. When’s Rach gonna be back?”
At that moment the door slammed, “Finn, why is the door---Oh Kurt! You’re here!” Rachel took in the sight of her best friend, crumpled against her boyfriend, “Oh Kurt honey!” Rachel dropped the groceries and gathered Kurt in a hug. Kurt slumped into the girl’s embrace. Rachel looked over his shoulder at Finn, “Finn, babe, do you think you can crash at Mike’s tonight?” Kurt shook his head, “No--Please don’t leave on my account” Then his lip quivered because he had said those exact words eight years ago to someone who had already left him in every way possible. Finn patted his brother’s back, “No--dude, seriously don’t worry about it. Rachel’s way better at this stuff than I am, and I’d just be in the way. Look, what ever it is, if I need to beat that Carter kid’s ass, just say the word.” With that, Finn rose and walked out the door after grabbing his phone off the counter.

As the door closed, Rachel pulled Kurt into her lap, “Sweetie, tell me what happened. This isn’t just about Carter is it?” Rachel had been there when Blaine broke up with him. Had carried Kurt through it.

As soon as the door closed behind Blaine, Kurt reached for his phone, “Rach? Rachel I need you.”

Twenty minutes later, Rachel was bursting through the door. She took one look around, saw Kurt’s expression and felt her own heart break a little. She knew immediately what that expression meant. Such a tortured look on a face as angelic as Kurt’s could only truly mean one thing. And if Kurt and Blaine were no longer KurtandBlaine, how did the rest of them stand a chance?
Rachel gathered Kurt up in her arms, and let him sob out the story to her.
“H-he d-d-doesn’t”
“R-r-rach-el-el-el”
“B-B-Blaine d-d-d-doesn’t l-l-l-love m-m-me any-ny-ny-more”
Rachel shook her head, “That’s not true. There’s no way. I saw you two yesterday. The hearts in his eyes were so big you could see them for miles. Did you two have a fight? Tell me what happened?”
“H-he b-b-broke u-u-u-u-up w-with m-m-me.”
“B-but why,” Rachel felt like her head was spinning. This could not be happening. They were Klaine for god sakes. Kurt shook in her arms, “I-i d-don’t kn-know. H-he j-j-just,” Kurt nearly bit his tongue trying to get the sentence out between sobs, “S-s-said h-he d-d-didn’t f-f-feel t-that w-way anymore. T-t-t-that he w-wanted t-t-t-to b-be friends.”

Kurt nuzzled into Rachel’s neck, not allowing himself to think about how she was almost the same size as Blaine. Rachel rubbed circles on his back, “Kurt sweetie, do you think you can tell me about it?” Kurt nodded, he’d gotten most of his sobbing out of the way on the trip over, and found it easier to talk, “C-carter and I were addressing invites you know? I was addressing the envelopes and he was licking them and putting stamps on. A-and then I filled one out for Blaine, because...look Rach...I love Carter, I really do. I could spend the rest of my life with him, and I know we’d be more than happy together. But Blaine...Blaine. Blaine’s just always been there. And I can’t imagine taking this huge step and not having him there. B-but Carter said he didn’t feel comfortable having Blaine there, a-and he made a h-huge deal about it. A-and he r-reminded me of the rings...and then on the way over here I saw the whole thing over again in my mind Rachel. The whole thing. I saw him breaking up with me again Rachel...and I just can’t. I c-can’t.”

Rachel stroked Kurt’s hair biting her lip against her own tears that she felt just for Kurt’s sorrow, “Kurt honey, you can’t what? Do you, do you want to postpone the wedding?” Kurt shook his head, “No. No. I’m marrying Carter. That much I know.” Rachel nodded, “Then what Kurtie?” Kurt mopped at his eyes, “I can’t not have him there Rachel. Blaine has to be there.” Rachel nodded, “Alright then.” Kurt sighed, “But Carter’ll be pissed when he sees the invitation.” Rachel squeezed his arm, “Then I’ll talk to Blaine. I’ll make sure he’s there. Don’t worry about it. Alright?” Kurt nodded and laid his head back down on her shoulder, pretending for a moment. If only for a moment, that it was a different pint-sized person that held him.

__________________________

Blaine pulled a hand through his curls. Thinking back over the conversation he’d had with Rachel.

“Carter and Kurt are getting married,” Rachel said, watching him as he choked on his coffee.
“They’re what?!”
“Yes, Carter proposed a couple of months ago. And the wedding is in September.”
“W-why are you telling me this Rachel?”
“Because I know you still love him. I knew from the moment he told me you had said you didn’t.”
“Rachel even if what you said is true, I can’t be with him. Like you said he’s getting married.”
“Which is why I’m telling you. He was at my apartment last night, crying his eyes out because he had a flashback to your break up. Did you know he’s gone into a panic attack in the middle of Burberry because someone with gelled hair and a bow tie walked into him?”
“What’s it matter if he’s marrying Carter anyway?”
“Because he wants you there.”
“Why, though? After everything I’ve done.”
“Because even though for some reason you’ve convinced yourself that it’s healthier for you to not be with him, and he’s convinced himself that you don’t love him, he can’t imagine you not being there. He said, and I quote,” Rachel did the little air quotes, “‘Blaine’s just always been there. And I can’t imagine taking this huge step and not having him there’.”
Blaine gulped, “He--he said that?”
“Yes.”
“But Rach, I don’t think I can sit there and watch him marry another guy. Not after all the times I imagined marrying him.”
“Then do what you have to do. But in the end, let’s face it. You two still love each other.”
“I don’t Rachel.”
“Look Blaine, you can lie to Kurt. You can lie to your family. You can lie to Burt when you see him, and don’t lie, I know you visit him. You can even lie to yourself. But don’t lie to me.”
Blaine ran his fingers through his hair, “You know what? Fine. I still love him.”
“Then why’d you do it? Why’d you cause all this pain?”
“Because Rachel! I loved him too much! It was nuts! He was gone for three days! Three days! On a damn business trip, in the next state over! And I lost my fucking mind! I couldn’t sleep! I couldn’t eat! I felt like part of myself was missing! What about that sounds healthy?”
“So did breaking up with him fix it,” Rachel said snarkily.
“Well--no.”
“There you have it.”
“What ever Rachel. It doesn’t matter now, he’s marrying Carter. There’s nothing I can do about it now.”
“You can always do something. There’s a reason the Justice of the Peace says ‘Speak now or forever hold your piece.’”
“Oh my god Rachel. You’re not actually suggesting I break up his wedding are you?”
“What? No! Look I’m all for drama and that, but even I think that’s a little extreme. But you know where he lives. You could go talk to him.”
“And tell him what exactly?”
“What you just told me.”
“Oh, yeah. I’ll just open the door and be like, ‘Oh Kurt, remember when I said I didn’t love you? Well see I was lying. Oh why you ask? Well because I love you so much that it’s unhealthy for me. So I left. I’m sorry. Do you think you could dump Carter and come back to me? What’s that you say? You’re in love with Carter and that’s why you’re marrying him and even if you weren’t you wouldn’t date me because I hurt you? Oh, well then.”
Rachel rolled her eyes, “It would go more like this. ‘Kurt? I know I told you I didn’t love you, but much like our dear friend Rachel told you, I was lying. And I know I was stupid. But I was scared, so, so scared. Because I loved you too much for my own good. If you weren’t there I couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep. And I felt like that was bad, like I shouldn’t feel so consumed with another person. So I left. And I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I hurt you. I’m sorry that I’m a douche,” Rachel continued over Blaine’s protests, “I’m sorry that I left you. But I haven’t stopped thinking about you since I left, and I know I said I just wanted to be friends, but I can’t anymore Kurt. I can’t. I need you back. And I know it’s not fair of me to ask you that. But I just, can’t stand to be without you.’ At which point he’ll stand there speechless for a moment, before launching himself into your arms and giving you a second chance.”
Blaine sighed, “What ever, Rach. Tell him if he wants me there, I’ll be at the wedding. I have to go.”

Blaine had left the coffee shop in a rush. Trying to desperately escape the thoughts running rampant in his head.

For the next four months he chased himself round and round in his head.

Just go to his apartment.
No you can’t. He’s engaged.
Who cares? At least say your piece.
You can’t do that to him. You’ve already hurt him enough.
And? What’s you telling him the truth going to do? If you don’t he’ll always have that big ‘what if’
Yeah! What if I do and it just leaves him more confused!
Then you figure it out! It’s better than you walking around for the rest of your life wondering if he would have chosen you!

But as he argues with himself, he can hear a song in the back of his mind
I sneak in and see your friends
And her snotty little family
All dressed in pastel
And she is yelling at a bridesmaid
Somewhere back inside a room
Wearing a gown shaped like a pastry

As he slowly prepares himself for the wedding. The song finds itself weaving through his thoughts more and more.
I hear the preacher say
"Speak now or forever hold your peace”
There's the silence, there's my last chance
I stand up with shaking hands
All eyes on me

Before he knew it, it was September Fifteenth, Twenty-Seventeen. Before he knew it, he was sitting in the pews beside Mike and Tina. Before he knew it, he saw Sam usher Carole in. Saw someone he didn’t recognize bring in a woman who must have been Carter’s mom. Before he knew it, he saw Rachel walking in. Blaine smiled, he should have known she would be his maid of honor. Three more people walked in, one girl, another man, and Finn. After them, Carter and Kurt began their procession down the aisle. Blaine missed it, but Rachel didn’t, she caught the look on Kurt’s face when he saw Blaine in the pews.

A silence falls as the Justice calls the room to order, “The wedding party, or rather, one of the maids of honors, would like to begin the ceremony with a song for the two grooms.” The Justice gestured to Rachel who moved to stand in front of the couple, “Now, this is for the both of you. But I’ve known Kurt the longest, so with your permission I’d like to say a few words.” Kurt rolled his eyes at her as if to say, ‘Get this over with Rachel.’ She smiled, “Kurt, you and I met our sophomore year of high school. We fought about a lot of things along the way. Solos. Streisand versus LuPone. My wardrobe,” the crowd chuckles lightly at that, “But we’ve always been there for each other. And I spent a really long time trying to figure out what I wanted to say to you on your wedding day, when I realized I didn’t want to say it. I wanted to sing it. So here it is.” She gestured to the pianist who began to play.

Take all of your wasted honor
Every little past frustration
Take all of your so called problems
Better put ‘em in quotations

Say whatchya need to say
Say whatchya need to say
Say whatchya need to say
Say whatchya need to say

Every eye was locked on Rachel and she knew the words were hitting the right chords. She only hoped that her little nudge would be the push Blaine needed. She simply could not let Kurt marry Carter. She couldn’t.

Walkin’ like a one man army
Fightin’ with the shadows in your head
Livin’ out the same old moments
Knowin’ you’d be better off instead
If you could only

Say whatchya need to say

Rachel prayed to every deity she had ever heard of that Blaine would get his act together. She had hoped he wouldn’t let it go this this far. But this was his last chance. And god she hoped he took it.

Have no fear for givin’ in
Have no fear for givin’ over
You better know that in the end
It’s better to say too much
Than to never say whatchya need to say again

Blaine watched Rachel sing the song, but what he heard was that of a different tune.

Don’t say yes, run away now
I’ll meet you when you’re out of the church
By the back door.

Rachel locked eyes with Blaine as she sang the last verse

Even if your hands are shaking
And your faith is broken
Even as the eyes are closin’
Do it with a heart wide open
Say whatchya need to say

She knew that her words were being heard, now she just had to trust he would take them to heart. At the end of the song she turned and gave Kurt a hug, “Thanks for letting me say what I needed to say Kurt. Thanks for being there when I needed you. Thanks for being an amazing person. And I’m so happy that you have someone to make you happy. Because you deserve it.” She wiped at the tears in her eyes and went to stand with Carter’s maid of honor.

The Justice cleared his throat, and everyone stopped clapping.
“We are gathered here today, in front of these witnesses, friends and family of the grooms.”
Blaine suddenly knew what it was he needed to do.
He knew that no matter how bad it was for him, he loved Kurt. And nothing was going to change that. He also knew that there was no way he could let Kurt marry Carter without getting this off his chest, and it took all his willpower for him to wait for the Justice to say the words.
“To join together, Kurt Paul, and Carter John, in holy matrimony. If anyone objects, speak now or forever hold your piece.”

A heartbeat of silence.
Blaine finds himself standing.
His hands are shaking.
His knees are trembling.
But his voice comes out strong and clear, “I object!”
Every eye in the room turned to him.
Several jaws dropped.
The only one who didn’t look shocked was Rachel, who was smiling pleasedly.
The Justice nodded, “And who might you be?”
Blaine expected for his words to sound weak, but they did not fail him, “Blaine Anderson, sir.”
“Ah, and what reason, have you, that these two should not be wed?”
“I’m in love with the groom, sir.”
“As you can tell there is more than one groom, Mr. Anderson. Care to elaborate?”
Kurt squeaked, “Me. He means me.”
The Justice looked at Blaine, “Is Mr. Hummel correct?”
“Yes, sir.”
“And what would you like to do about it?”
“I’d like to say something to Kurt. With all of you as my witness. Just let me say my piece, and then I promise, I won’t object if you choose to marry Carter.”
Everyone looked at Kurt expectantly, who nodded woodenly, suddenly feeling a thousand miles away. This couldn’t be. This wasn’t happening. No this was just some nightmare that occurred because of pre-wedding jitters. Blaine is not standing at the front of the room claiming he loves me.
“Kurt, that day, so long ago when I told you I didn’t love you,” Kurt fought very hard to not think about that day. To stay in the present second only.
“Was the worst day of my life. Because I did something I swore to myself I would never do,” Blaine swallowed, “I lied to you. I lied and told you that I didn’t love you anymore because the way I loved you was just so unhealthy. I couldn’t go a day without seeing you, and if I did I felt like shit, and I just kept thinking, it was bad for me. That I shouldn’t be this wrapped up in a person. Because eventually it was going to come back to bite me. But I didn’t even stop to think about it rationally, I was stupid, and selfish, and I’m sorry. I’m sorry because I didn’t even think about how it would hurt you. I’m sorry because I lied well enough that you believed me. And I wish you hadn’t believed me because telling you I don’t love you and having you believe me is a fate worse than death. And I’m sorry because I’m a douche. I’m sorry that I left you. I’m sorry that I hurt you. But I haven’t stopped thinking about you since the day you left, and I know what I told you. I know I said I just wanted to be friends, but I can’t anymore, I just can’t. I need you Kurt. Need you more than anything in the world. And I know that I don’t deserve you. I know that you’d be better off with Carter because he can make you happy and I know he’ll never hurt you. But I couldn’t let you get married without telling you that I still love you and that I want you back.”

Dead silence.
The people on Carter’s side of the room look horrified.
The people on Kurt’s side of the room look relieved.
Rachel looks like she’s going to drop dead of excitement.
Carter just looks like he wants to drop dead.
Blaine doesn’t see any of this though.
He just watches Kurt’s face.
He just wishes he knew what was going on behind those blue eyes.

No. No. No. This is not happening. This was not supposed to happen. I was over him! Kurt shouts in his head. Judging by the meltdowns you’ve had with Rachel, I don’t think you were, his wiser side argues. But this can’t be happening. It can’t be. Kurt spent so long convincing himself Blaine doesn’t love him anymore. So why the hell is he here? Why the hell is he saying he loves me? Why the hell is he asking me for him back? Why the hell do I want to believe him? Why the hell do I want to go back to him?!

Blaine gives it a few seconds.
Then he exits his pew and heads for the door, turning back only for an instant.
“I’m really sorry for interrupting your wedding Kurt, Carter. I really hope you two are happy together, and I wish you the best. Good-bye.”

Kurt watches the doors shut.
Kurt looks at Carter.
The Justice clears his throat.
Carter looks at Kurt.
“Go after him,” Carter says.
Kurt runs down the aisle.
He just catches Blaine by his jacket as he descends the front steps, “Blaine! Wait!”
Blaine stops and turns around.
Kurt kisses him full on the mouth.
“Did you mean it?”
“Did I mean what?”
“What you said about it being a lie when you told me you didn’t love me.”
“I meant every word of it Kurt. And I’m so sorry that it had to take me so long to tell you that. I’m sorry that I lied to you. I’m sorry that I left you. I’m sorry I hurt you. I’m sorry that I’m a douche. I’m sorry for ruining everything. I’m so---”
“Blaine, quit apologizing and let me talk.”
Blaine closed his mouth.
“I love you too.”
“What does that mean for us? Because I’ll do anything to make it up to you. Anything. I need you Kurt. I need you and I want you and I love you. So much.”
“I know. Now shut up and kiss me.”
When they pulled apart there was a loud chorus of ‘awws’
They look up.
Santana calls, “Bout time you two got your acts together!”
Wes nods in agreement, “Eight years?! Really, Blaine?”
Burt rolls his eyes, “C’mon people, you’re ruining the moment.”
Kurt’s about to point out that his dad is right, until Burt says, “But Finn, you owe me twenty dollars. Pay up.”
“You guys bet on us?!”
Nick grins, “Well yeah, we’ve had a pool going since we found out. Nobody actually thought you’d stay away from each other. Which reminds me, Puckerman! Oi! I want my money back!”

*Three Years Later*

“Do you, Kurt Paul Hummel, take Blaine Everett Anderson to be your lawfully wedded Husband?”
“I do.”
“Well then, by the power invested in me by the state of Ohio, I would like to happily declare you Mr. And Mr. Hummel-Anderson. You may now kiss the groom.”
As Blaine and Kurt kissed, they were met with loud cheers and whoops and hollers.
When they broke apart, the Justice clapped them on the back, “Well Blaine, I must say, I’m glad we finally got Kurt married.” Blaine grinned, “Me too, sir. Me too.” Kurt smiled and kissed his nose, “Better late than never.” The Justice chuckled, “First and last time since I started this that someone actually spoke up.”

That night as they danced, Kurt twirled Blaine and dipped him low, murmuring in his ear, “Speak now or forever hold your piece.”